"No Fems" and Hook Up Apps; Tom Daley’s Perfect Physique; Philadelphia Gay Race Issue

“No Fems” and Hook Up Apps

This kind of thing has always bothered me, and I’m not even on any hook up apps. It’s just that when I see it, I wonder about the kind of person who would write something like that. Evidently, I’m not the only one.

Does your dating profile say anything along the lines of “no fems” or “masc4masc”? If so, you’re actually hurting your chances of getting laid.

In a new column, Joe Stone points to a recent study published in Computers in Humans Behavior titled “Masculine Guys Online.” The study surveyed 144 gay and bisexual men about their online dating habits and found that the majority of them viewed guys who write things like “masc 4 masc,” “no fems,” or “real men only” as “significantly less intelligent, significantly less sexually confident, and significantly less dateable than their counterparts.”

I’m glad other people are starting to question things like this, and that the truth is coming out. I think a lot more men are going to start questioning the whole concept of “masculinity” and how it’s always defined their lives.

You can check this out here.

Tom Daley’s Perfect Physique

If you’ve ever wondered about how Tom Daley gets his body, you’ll love this.

My life’s about getting to the point where I’m in the physical shape that I can do all my diving the best that I can. So, I do feel bad and I wouldn’t want to make anyone feel that way. But I know that if anyone else trained for six hours a day, six days a week, they would get the same result…

Here’s the rest. Most of the comments are friendly.

Philadelphia Gay Race Issue

The problems going on in Philadelphia with regard to gay men and racism don’t seem to end. And, it’s not just about race. It’s about gender, too.

A Philadelphia civil-rights agency just released a lengthy report on discrimination in the city’s “Gayborhood,” claiming that 11 local gay bars have simply failed to create a “‘safe space’ for all LGBTQ people.”

You can check this out here. Sadly, one gay woman claims that she feels so invisible in these bars that she has to ask her gay male friends to order her drinks.

There are quite a few comments, and quite a few spins. I think this guy nailed it in one sentence…

 It’s almost comical that people are replying with racist statements while claiming there’s no racism.

New Release


Can Trump End Same Sex Marriage? Katie Couric On Gender Identity; Frank Ocean’s Dad Sues Him

Can Trump End Same Sex Marriage?

I’ve seen this question going around social media for a while and everyone seems to have an opinion…most of which aren’t very accurate. But it’s a valid question many people are worried about. I’ve been curious myself. So I did a simple search and I found this article from the LA Times.

So, can Trump end same sex marriage?

No. Just as with abortion, the president can’t overturn a Supreme Court decision by himself, although he could appoint more conservative justices. Even then, the chance that the high court would reverse itself is very small. Unlike abortion, same-sex marriage has steadily gained in public approval.

It’s also important to keep in mind that same sex marriage and abortion are two different issues. Same sex marriage is more focused on commitment and celebration.

You can read the entire article here. It’s a good, quick rundown about executive power and other important things people are wondering about. There are still a lot of issues no one’s certain about right now because it’s too soon to tell what to expect.

I think it’s also important to remember that same sex marriage was won in many cases state by state as the result of a ruling. It was a long, difficult journey. And when Judge Jones struck down the ban on same sex marriage here in PA the Republican governor at the time did not fight him. However, there are still many things to worry about with regard to equality.

Katie Couric On Gender Identity

This is one of those announcement type links that lists several things happening right now, but if you scroll down you’ll find this one about Katie Couric and gender identity. I have no doubt this will continue to be an ongoing topic for the next several years.

Katie Couric heads up this two-hour National Geographic documentary, which delves into the very timely topic of gender identity in society. In the process, she speaks and finds enlightenment with a range of transgender individuals – including model/actress Harif Nef, and a child already beginning a gender transition – plus activists, medical experts, authors, and more. A truly probing, intelligent work that taps into part of the culture war being waged (HB2 anyone?), and coincides with the current, excellent gender-themed issue of the magazine on stands.

You can check it  out here.

Frank Ocean’s Dad Sues Him

I think most people know that Frank Ocean is an openly gay rapper who came out a few years ago. I love him (and everything he does) and I wait along with everyone else for his next release. I think he’s one of the true artists we have now. He never disappoints.

In any event…

Frank Ocean was just slapped with a multi-million dollar lawsuit from his own father over a Tumblr post he wrote last summer.

Frank’s dad, self-proclaimed “singer, writer, and inventor” Calvin Cooksey, filed a defamation lawsuit against his son, citing a Tumblr post Frank wrote last summer short after the Orlando massacre, TMZ reports. In the post, Frank accused his father of using an anti-LGBTQ slur over 20 years ago.

It goes into a lot more detail here.

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James Baldwin Very Gay Author, and "I Am Not Your Negro"; The Milo Yiannopoulos Berkeley Speech; Rob Mallard From Coronation Street Is Gay

James Baldwin Very Gay Author, and “I Am Not Your Negro”

I’ve posted about James Baldwin as the author of one of my favorite books of all time, Giovanni’s Room, several times over the years. He’s a huge part of gay culture.

Now there’s a new documentary out about James Baldwin titled, I Am Not Your Negro, and I can’t help but wonder if they are trying to play down the fact that he was gay. Or maybe they don’t think it’s important enough to mention, with respect to gay culture. Very few mainstream articles and reviews even mention that he was gay.

In any event, I went all over the Internet to find this article in The Advocate that actually does mention the fact that Baldwin was gay. And, it’s in the title.

James Baldwin (1924-1987) was prolific author and social critic. His works include novels (“Another Country” and “Giovanni’s Room”), poems, plays (“The Amen Corner”) and essays (“The Fire Next Time,” “The Devil Finds Work” and “Notes of a Native Son”). He was also a passionate and eloquent public speaker, appearing frequently on televised debates and on talk shows like “The Dick Cavett Show.”

“He was probably one of the biggest authors of his generation, black or white” Peck says. “He was an important witness to the Civil Rights movement. He was gay. He was an intellectual. He had an immense celebrity. He was friends with people like Marlon Brando, Sidney Poitier, Lena Horne and Nina Simone.”

You can read the rest here. I’m definitely looking forward to seeing it for many reasons, and one of those reasons has to do with the fact that Baldwin is a huge part of gay culture and that he influenced millions of gay readers.

The Milo Yiannopoulos Berkeley Speech

Here’s a part of recent gay culture that I’m tempted to ignore, but won’t. It’s happening right now, and it’s news. Please forgive me if I spell his name wrong sometimes.

This article is all about what happened at Berkeley, and Milo. I’d rather not go into detail. I’m just not personally fond of pundits who exploit for attention or personal gain, gay or straight.

32-year-old Yiannopoulos goes to great lengths to brand himself as a sort of “free-speech fundamentalist” locked in fierce battle with “political correctness.”

On Facebook, he touts himself as “the most fabulous supervillain on the Internet.”

You can can read more about this here. I think the discussion in the comment section is as interesting as anything I’ve seen so far. You’ll want to check that out, too.

Rob Mallard From Coronation Street Is Gay

It seems another male celebrity, Rob Mallard, recently came out as gay. I’m not playing that down either. I think it’s wonderful. Here’s part of what he said…

“I never planned to keep it quiet that I was gay. The only concern I had at first was if I’m with a female character, will an audience who knows I’m gay in real life believe it? But that was just my own fears because I do believe they will,” the 25-year-old actor said.

He’s adorable and it’s a great article, and you can find it here. And there’s a place where you can follow him on Twitter to show support. I just did.

New Release


Grindr Lawsuit; How To Take A Good Dick Pic; The First Texas Transgender Mayor

Grindr Lawsuit

Here’s another one of those stories about hook up apps.

A man is suing Grindr for their part in what he believes was a failure to deal with an ex-boyfriend who allegedly impersonated him.

Matthew Herrick, an actor in New York City, has said he met his former partner on Grindr in 2015. He claims after a series of abuse, his ex tried to rape and kill him.

After he met his ex-partner, Herrick claims the man began to create fake profiles of him using his photos and addresses.

The rest is here. I hope there’s a follow up. I don’t like to speculate on things like this without more details. I’m not CNN or Fox.

How To Take A Good Dick Pic

I think it’s okay to say Dick Pic on blogger, at least I hope it is. I keep this blog rated G because I know how blogger can be, and I respect that.  I don’t want the blog to be concentrated on sex just because I’m a gay author. And, this article really isn’t about sex. It’s more about how and when to send a dick pic without being totally offensive, repulsive, and outright rude.

However, not everyone is happy to be on the receiving end of a dick pic, and historically, dick pics haven’t found favor with many women. Traditionally functioning as little more than advertisements for the sender’s size, dick pics are bombarded at women online — usually without consent — and they’re almost always of dismal quality: low-lit, blurry pictures taken at unflattering angles with no erotic potential whatsoever.

You can check this out here. As someone who has been on the receiving end of more unsolicited dick pics than I care to count, it does give some valuable advice.

The First Texas Transgender Mayor

Interestingly, this is all taking place in New Hope, Texas. I didn’t even know there was a New Hope in Texas. I just hope they’re as progressive out there as New Hope, PA is here where I live. Thanks to the fact that I live in New Hope, PA, transgender people are nothing new to me.

Eight months after taking office, a Texas mayor has come out as transgender in an open letter posted on her small town’s website.

“As your Mayor I must tell you something that has been with me since my earliest memories,” New Hope Mayor Jess Herbst writes. “I am Transgender.”

You can read her full statement here. She’s married to a woman and has 2 daughters, all of whom have been completely supportive. I’ve said it before on this blog and I’ll say it again: I think we’re going to hear a lot more stories like this in the future.

New Release


Ultimate Judy Garland Fandom; A Guy In Miss Universe High Heels; Walgreens Ad With HIV Men; Reader Comments For "Call Me By Your Name" Movie

Ultimate Judy Garland Fandom

I’ve posted about how I don’t get the whole concept of gay icons all the time. Well, this one really amazes me. I think this story is probably one of the most extreme examples of fandom I’ve seen in a while.

There’s a guy who paid over 15K to be laid to rest next to Judy Garland when his time comes. Unfortunately, Liza Minnelli just had Garland’s remains exhumed and moved to another cemetery.

Last Thursday, those remains were exhumed and flown to Los Angeles at the request of daughter Liza Minnelli. What’s left of the actress will be re-interred at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery, where she’ll be rubbing elbows with other A-listers like Johnny and Dee Dee Ramone, The Beatles’ George Harrison, and filmmaker Cecil B. DeMille.

You can read more about this one here.

A Guy In Miss Universe High Heels

I think this is a significant story because it challenges the entire concept of what we have been taught is correct behavior for men…all men, not just gay. I think that’s a topic that’s going to be coming up a lot in the future, and I’ve been writing about it in my next book in the new adult series I’ve been working on. We tend to knock the stereotype of the effeminate gay man, and yet we celebrate the big strong butch stereotype of the macho man. When I was a kid, I remember one guy’s dad correcting him in public for lifting his pinky finger while drinking a glass of water.

Evidently inspired by this weekend’s broadcast of the always-eerie Miss Universe pageant, Lorescra leapt into his nearest pair of posing trunks and some stiletto heels to flounce through town in an uncannily astute impersonation of Miss Philippines’ catwalk strut.

While I’m sure this guy was mainly seeking attention, and of course he’s carrying this to the extreme, I do think it makes people stop and think about how strong the stereotypes for masculinity have always been in our mainstream culture. Men are expected to walk a certain way, carry their books a certain way, and even speak a certain way.

You can check this one out here. There’s a video of this guy walking around in high heels, and he even broke down the Miss Universe stereotype with this one.

Walgreens Ad With HIV Men

Here’s something more uplifting than politics for a change.

Walgreens wants to “grow old together” with HIV-positive customers, it says in a new marketing campaign.

In print magazines for gay and HIV-positive readers, ads feature seven varied HIV-positive, real Walgreens customers like Gregg with the headline, “Three decades positive, one positive outlook.”

You can read this one here. I think it’s amazing given the fact that there’s still so much stigma attached to HIV in general. It’s better than is was, but it’s still there.

Reader Comments for “Call Me By Your Name” Movie

I posted about the way Sundance is raving about a film that’s being promoted as gay, but in reality it’s questionable at best as to whether or not it is a gay film. I went into more detail here in this post. And the book and movie are coming from a heteronormative POV, not a gay POV. I think that should make a difference at this point for everyone, not just gay people. I know it does when it comes to anything written by authors of any other minority.

With that said, You can check out this advertorial-like piece here to see how gay men are responding to the film in the comments below the article.

One guy said this…

In all my 39 years, I’ve never heard of the term ” split open peach “, is that some term for butthole or something ?

New Release


A Dog’s Purpose and Animal Abuse Claims; Racism and D.C. Gay Bar; Russian Web Site Counts Gays In Cities; Bisexual Frat Boy and Masculinity

A Dog’s Purpose and Animal Abuse Claims

I’ve been following this one all week. It’s about the film, A Dog’s Purpose, and a video that surfaced showing a terrified German Shepherd being forced into water over some kind of waterfall. If you do a simple search you’ll find all kinds of information out there.

Time is money, as they say on set. That might explain the video, obtained by TMZ, of a fearful-looking dog being placed in turbulent water — ostensibly before he was ready — on the set of A Dog’s Purpose, which was filmed in Manitoba. The clip of the incident, where the dog, Hercules, later becomes submerged, went viral online and provoked calls to boycott the film ahead of its now-cancelled premiere.

You can read more about that here. I think this piece covers the story better than most other things I’ve read. I’m a dog owner and I know, almost instinctively, when my dogs are under stress and when something is about to stress them. I’ve never once forced my dogs to do something that would put them in a place of stress.

With that said, Hollywood person, Dennis Quaid, made a few strong statements about the movie, too. It’s also important to note that Quaid is starring in the film.

PETA has denounced the film, and there have been protests over it.

The protest was triggered by a TMZ video showing a trainer trying to pull the dog star — who was clearly unwilling and upset — into the water.  Producers say it was a one off, where the dog actually liked jumping in but they changed the angle and that’s why the dog freaked out.

And, here’s a link to the actual TMZ video that broke this news so you can decide for yourselves how you feel about this. I’ve seen it several times, and I’m still gutted. I’m also wondering why they continued to force the dog into the water, knowing he was freaked out, because they changed the angle. You wouldn’t force Meryl Streep into the water if she wasn’t ready. So why force the dog?

Racism and D. C. Bar

Here’s another story that reminds me of the one I posted about racism in the Philadelphia gay bar that opened up a long overdue discussion.

The manager of a popular gay bar in Washington, D.C. says he’s not racist despite some rather damning evidence to the contrary.

David Perruzza is the manager of JR’s in Dupont Circle. A recently leaked between him and Aram Vartian, a graphic designer hired to make promo material for the bar, shows the manager requesting a “hot white guy” instead of a black man in a 2012 advertisement.

There’s more here. There are 27 comments with this one.

Russian Web Site Counts Gays In Cities

I’ve been watching a show on Netflix called Between, where it seems the entire town of Pretty Lake is gayless…not a gay in sight. Totally gay-less. Well, in direct contrast, here’s a story about a Russian web site that actually estimates about how many gays there are in towns and cities.

“The website’s questionable methodology for ‘measuring gays’ relies on tracking the number of online requests for pornography in a city and compares it to the number of Internet searches for gay porn, and then applies the differential to the city’s total population and ‘calculates’ the LGBT population,” they report.

They then walk through what a user might experience.

“In Moscow, for example, the website says there are ‘173,851 gays,’ and warns visitors, ‘Oh my! That’s a lot of gays! Danger!’ while offering help in ‘fending off the gays.’

You can read the rest here. Someone should tell them about Pretty Lake.

Bisexual Frat Boy and Masculinity

I think this interesting because it’s an ongoing topic in my current work in progress. I wanted to write about a gay character who questions his own masculinity constantly, and who breaks down the stereotypes.

This article is about a frat boy who identifies as bisexual, and who questions everything he’s ever been told about masculinity and how he should think and behave.

For the first 19 years of my life, I lived under the impression that in order to be recognized as an equal to other men, I had to fit the mold. It was the small details — the words I said, the way I behaved and the things I did — that made me self-conscious of my own identity,” writes 19-year-old Allen Pham, in an article titled “What does it mean to be a man?” for Daily Trojan, the student newspaper of the University of Southern California.

You can read it all here. I think we need more conversations about this, for men only.

Stepbrothers In the Attic

New Release


James Franco’s "I Am Michael";There Are Gay Christians; A New Anti-Hate Dating Site

James Franco’s I Am Michael

I used to be kind of hard on James Franco, but I’ve been taking a few steps back lately for specific reasons. One, what Hollywood in general does to gay content, gay culture, and gay men is usually so filled with heteronormative cultural appropriation it’s painful to watch. And two, because Franco really does seem interested in making things as authentic as he possibly can. And he works with a lot of openly gay actors. He seems to make a point of doing this and he doesn’t give a damn what anyone thinks.

Here’s something about the film, I Am Michael, and the openly gay actor who is in it, Charlie Carver, along with James Franco and Zachary Quinto.

Carver came out in January last year and says working alongside out-gay actor Zachary Quinto has been immensely rewarding.

‘I’m so glad to have met, worked with and become friends with Zach,’ Carver said.

‘He’s somebody who I admire very much and somebody who has carried who he is out in the public in a very admirably way.’

There’s more here, with photos. I Am Michael is available for download at the iTunes store. It’s definitely not a gay romance, but they claim it’s a true story and there is sex in it. You can read more about the movie here. 

There Are Gay Christians

I think the focus of this story should be more about the fact that there are gay Christians. It’s something we overlook. Although I’m not all that religious myself, I know more than a few gay Catholics and Protestants.

This article is more focused on what happened when gay Christians set up a stall at a Christian music festival.

But this year, when Christian group Incendo tried to display signs that said ‘gay’, ‘lesbian’ and ‘transgender’, organizers of the event shut it down.

The stall also displayed materials about gay Christians, including a documentary about a Christian lesbian couple with a child.

Organizers of the event said the signs were not appropriate for families attending the festival.

Of course I think that’s wrong, but I’m not all that shocked by it either. There are so many people who don’t realize that not too long ago anything gay related was considered “for adults only” in the mainstream.

You can check this out here. As the article states, we have a long way to go.

A New Anti-Hate Dating Site

I wasn’t even sure how to title this part of the post. There’s a new dating site that’s devoted to people who are tired of being called homophobic, among other pejoratives, because they supported Trump. At least that’s what I’m getting from it. From what I gather, an estimated 44% of the users are straight women.

The site now has over 26,000 users, including 8,000 who signed up after President Trump’s successful election.

After the US, Russia has the highest number of users, followed by Australia and then the UK.

You can read more here. The owner claims he wants to bring America back together again with this site, which doesn’t make much sense to me. How does one bring people together again by creating more of a divide?

Stepbrothers In the Attic

New Release