Gay Men In Open Relationships; Gay In Military: Double Life; Davey Wavey Responds To Hypocrisy Accusations

Gay Men In Open Relationships

Here’s an interesting article about gay men who are in open relationships. In my series, The Rainbow Detective Agency, Proctor and Blair are in a somewhat open relationship themselves in the sense that they have three-ways…or more. It depends on the situation, but they always do it together, never alone. Their relationship isn’t open in the sense that they are able to be with other people alone. They have to be together. For them, it works.

There are rules, very defined rules, as to what Proctor and Blair can and cannot do. I make that clear in the book…in all of the books. I added that to the story line because I think…and I’ve  always known it to be true in RL…that a lot of gay men have open relationships. 

With that said, here’s a study done in the UK about the topic of open relationships that actually seems to back me up this time.

When it comes to the politics of open relationships, here’s what FS learned:

  • 74 percent of men who are currently in an open relationship said opening was a mutual decision between both partners.

  • 12 percent of them said they have a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy.
  • 75 percent of them said they have rules in place with their relationship, but…
  • 21 percent admitted to breaking those rules at least once. (Tisk, tisk!)

You can read the rest here. 

The rules are very important. 

Gay In Military: Double Life

This article also backs up what I’ve been saying on this blog, which is there are many more gays in the closet than most would assume. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, for them personally. Coming out is a personal decision that I don’t believe can ever be forced. And some people these days don’t want labels. That’s their choice. I just wish more would come out to show the world how diverse the gay community can be. However, I do understand why they remain in the closet.

Here’s an excerpt from an interview with a closeted gay man in the military who has been living a double life…

I always new I was different. Through high school, a lot of people thought I was shy, boring or introverted and what not but in reality I just wasn’t interested in girls. I had a high school girlfriend, but that was because that’s just what you did in high school. After we graduated, we got married because that’s what everyone else was doing. Shockingly, it didn’t last! My first experience wasn’t until my early 20’s. It was a very confusing time for me, because I felt like I “shouldn’t” like guys. I dealt with a lot of different emotions and there was definitely an internal struggle that didn’t subside until I was able to come to terms and accept who and how I was. Even then though, I never wanted to be defined by my sexuality, so I never “came out.” I always wanted my reputation to be: “yeah, he is a solid dude..” Not “yeah, he is a solid dude…..for a queer/homo/gay/swish/etc” All that being said, living a double life and keeping secrets isn’t healthy, psychology or emotionally, but that’s just the price I felt and feel like I have to pay. It’s a trade off that I think is worth it. My father passed away a number of years ago, but my mother and siblings know. They have come to accept it, but I don’t rub their noses in it.

I support what he’s doing, because I know what it’s like. But I think that’s kind of sad…the last line, “rub their noses in it.” I can only guess what that means. You can only be gay to fully understand it. And how sad that we have to be treated that way, still. If you ever wonder why I get angry with gaybaiting or gay cultural appropriation here on this blog, this is one reason. You’ll never fully know what it’s like unless you are gay.

You can read the rest here.  

Davey Wavey Responds To Hypocrisy Accusations

Long before I found this article I saw a status update from Davey Wavey about respecting gay elders. I didn’t pay much attention to it and I moved on. I stopped linking to Wavey a while ago, and really not for any particular reason. (Mabye because I don’t think I’d recognize him wearing clothes.) Then, over the weekend, Tony mentioned he’d seen it, too, which he rarely ever does. Normally, he doesn’t care about things like that. This time Tony was in full agreement with Wavey.

In any event,  Wavey sparked some criticism and now he’s responding.

While celebrating the elders in our community — and the sacrifices that they’ve made — is something all of us can stand by, some of the responses have been negative. As someone who has created more than 800 videos over the last 8 years, folks have noted that my content has included a number of young, white, shirtless gay men.

This, they claim, undercuts my anti-ageism message with blatant hypocrisy. But what critics fail to mention is that my videos have also included, in the last year alone, 88 people who aren’t young, cis, white gay men.I’m also a business person and creating video content is my job. 

I’m supported by the ad revenue that my videos generate, and I need to strike a balance. The reality is, my videos with shirtless, young gay guys get a disproportionate amount of views because that’s what our community consumes most.

He’s absolutely correct about that. You have to give people what they want and you have to entertain them with what they want. And I think his overall message about elders is pretty much spot on.

The only part of this whole thing that took me aback is that I’ve always thought most younger gay men do treat older gay men with respect. At least from what I’ve always seen as a gay man…from the time was in my early twenties, from my own personal experience. Maybe Wavey knows something I don’t know from his personal experience. It’s been known to happen.

You can read the rest here.

The Rainbow Detective Agency

L’uomo Magico: Book 2 Kindle Edition

Ted Cruz On Gay Marriage; Gay Superheros/Comic Books; Former Marshall University Football Player and Gay Rights Case

Ted Cruz On Gay Marriage

I see a great many questionable things on social media about all of the political candidates running for President and when I see an article that looks real and looks valid I jump on it. Because MOST of what I see is either hype or propaganda. This looks real.

As far as I know, this is verbatim:

Cruz: “My view on gay marriage is that I’m a constitutionalist and marriage is a question for the states. And so I think if someone wants to change the marriage laws of their state, the way to do so is convince your fellow citizens — and change them democratically, rather than five unelected judges. … Being a constitutionalist is integral to my approach to every other issue. So that I’m very devoted to.”

Same questioner: “So would you say it’s like a top-three priority for you — fighting gay marriage?”

Cruz: “No. I would say defending the Constitution is a top priority. And that cuts across the whole spectrum — whether it’s defending [the] First Amendment, defending religious liberty, stopping courts from making public policy issues that are left to the people. …

“I also think the 10th Amendment of the Constitution cuts across a whole lot of issues and can bring people together. People of New York may well resolve the marriage question differently than the people of Florida or Texas or Ohio. … That’s why we have 50 states — to allow a diversity of views. And so that is a core commitment.”

Of course we all know that when Judge Jones ruled that a ban on gay marriage was unconstitutional, he basically legalized same sex marriage in the state of Pennsylvania. So far that decision in Pennsylvania has been fought and argued in the courts, particularly by one right wing Christian evangelist clerk, and a ban on gay marriage has been shot down each time as being unconstitutional. So all you need to know is there’s an argument about what’s constitutional or not.  It never was a simple matter.

There’s more here. The good news is that same sex marriage doesn’t even seem to be an issue anymore with any of these candidates in the upcoming general election. I think I’ve heard it mentioned once in the debates.

Gay Superheros

Here’s an article about how it’s becoming more and more popular to find LGBT characters in comic books.

In October, Alysia Yeoh, a transgender friend of Batgirl, and her girlfriend Jo were married in a simple ceremony unmarred by super-villainy; Peter Parker, perhaps better known as Spider-Man, attended the wedding of Max Modell, his scientific mentor and gay colleague; and Wiccan and Hulkling, a superpowered gay couple, joined a division of the Avengers along with Hawkeye and Songbird. In August, Wonder Woman officiated a lesbian wedding, and since June, fans have been treated to the monthly adventures of Midnighter, who is out about his heroic identity and his sexual orientation. That month also saw the first issue of “Stripling Warrior,” which features superheroes that are gay and lesbian — and Mormon.

It’s a good article, here’s the link. 

From what I gather all you need to know with this one is that the industry is realizing that in order to keep up with the times, and reader demand, they’re keeping the story lines relevant by incorporating LGBT characters into mainstream comics. Which will probably happen in mainstream fiction, too.

Former Marshall University Football Player and Gay Rights Case

The West Virginia Supreme Court is being asked if a former Marshall University football player can be charged with violating the civil rights of two gay men he is accused of assaulting after he saw them kissing on a city street.

The accused is 24 years old, he’s pleading not guilty, and the complaint alleges he jumped out of a car and punched them both in the face. Allegedly, there’s a video.

Here’s a link to the rest.  

There’s a also a photo of the accused, and a few comments.

It’s a shame…in general. He’s a nice looking man.

The Rainbow Detective Series by Ryan Field

Here’s a link to Amazon where the Rainbow Detective Agency books are listed.