Sex and Taxes

It’s that time of year again. I heard this morning on the radio we have until Monday to get the taxes in because it’s Emancipation Day in Washington, DC. How this holiday thing works, I don’t know. It’s only a holiday in Washington. But at least it gives people a few extra days.

And if you’re in the mood for something to read that blends well with taxes, this anthology might be perfect. I have a short story in there, and I know a few of the other authors as well.

Nothing is more boring than computing how much you owe the government. In honor of this grueling annual task, we’ve brought together 9 sizzling hot tales of wicked ways to distract an accountant or conduct your own special audit with the IRS.

After reading about these vampire accountants (yes, you read that right) and tax cheats on who cheat on their wives, doing your taxes will take on a whole new meaning.

This anthology includes stories by:

Jen Bluekissed
Lisa Lane
Ryan Field
Hobert Glasse
Peter Sheehan
Eve Carpenter
Bryce Wood
Rachel Kenley
Jamaica Layne

Sex and Taxes…

I promised to post an excerpt of my short story, THE INCOME TAX PARTY, that’s in the SEX AND TAXES anthology. So here it is.

Ricky Cushman was tall and bulky and strong. His thick blond hair was cut short, but if you looked closely you could see that he wasn’t a natural blond. He touched up his roots every three weeks; he shaved twice a day to keep his heavy, dark beard from being too obvious.

But being blond suited him well and most people never bothered to notice that it wasn’t real. They were too busy staring at his large, round biceps and the muscular ridges on his forearms. Or the way his massive chest muscles jerked and bounced on their own when he clenched his fists. It was hard to miss the way his thick, floppy penis tended to swing back and forth beneath his gym shorts when he wasn’t wearing underwear.

And he didn’t wear underwear often. He knew that some of his wealthier clients, men and women, secretly preferred it that way. Ricky was a personal trainer, with a small gym of his own. He called it “The North Union Garage,” because it was located at the end of North Union Street in a long, flat building that was really nothing more than a row of faded garage doors. He was hoping to rent a better building soon. The “The North Union Garage” did very well. Many of his clients paid over five hundred dollars a month just so they’d be able to look up his shorts and see what was between his legs when he stood over their heads and spotted them during bench presses. He knew they were looking; he even spread his legs wider and forced a semi-erection on purpose so they could just lie back on the bench and watch it swing back and forth.

He was good at what he did, and he knew how to make money. But he wasn’t always sure about how to handle the money, especially when it came time to deal with his taxes. He would have liked it if more people had paid with cash. But they didn’t. They all paid with credit cards, and he kept all the receipts and paperwork in brown, stained egg crates he’d found behind the local supermarket. He’d always depended on his father to do his income taxes. The father took the egg crates every year and never complained about the disorganization, and Ricky never had any problems. But then his father re-married and moved to Florida and Ricky had to find someone else. So when a client told him about a guy who prepared income taxes on a part time basis, he took the number and called him in early March. He’d seen him around town once or twice, so he wasn’t a total stranger.

Happy Launch Day for SEX AND TAXES…

The new anthology, SEX AND TAXES, was just released today. The timing couldn’t have been better, and the stories are hot. I contributed a gay story to this that’s about a sexy personal trainer who seeks help with his taxes from a nerdy accountant. But once they start working together, it turns out the nerdy accountant is interested in much more than just taxes. Below is the intro to the book. I’ll post something from my story later this week.
It’s that time of the year again, when we try to make sense of every receipt, credit card charge, and explain how we spent so much on taxi cabs and dry cleaning. I am always fascinated by what I spent and how I spent it, but bored beyond belief at having to go through the process of tallying up these figures and explaining them to my accountant, who is another single woman like myself.
It takes me days to get my personal taxes in order because I daydream about anything but doing my taxes. I also daydream about some hot young accountant doing my taxes, and then about me doing some hot young accountant.
And that’s what inspired this anthology.
Believe it or not, I think the process of doing my taxes leads to erotic daydreams. And that’s the case with these ten stories about desperate taxpayers and the accountants who service them, as well as the IRS agents who take advantage of them, or allow themselves to be taken advantage of. There’s even a true bloodsucking accountant in the mix.
So we hope that after you’ve waited on that long line at he post office to send your taxes to the feds and the state (with your check enclosed), you’ll curl up with this nice ebook and think about what could have been. Or maybe start looking for a hot new accountant for next year (and send us a referral!).
Lori Perkins
April, 2009

Lori Perkins’ Sex and Taxes Anthology…

I just mailed the contract for the new ravenousromance anthology SEX AND TAXES. It was edited, created and designed by Lori Perkins, and I’m really looking forward to reading the stories when the book is launched. I hate taxes: they freak me out until I get them out of the way each year. But anything that makes paying taxes fun, has to be good.

I know a few of the other authors in the book. One contributed two stories to my own upcoming anthology, LASTING LUST: KINKY COUPLES IN LOVE. He’s an excellent new writer with a strong male voice and I can’t wait to read his version of sex and taxes. I also know a few of the other contributors. Some are seasoned professionals writing with pen names. I’ve been in books with them before, and I’ve always liked what they’ve written.

This is the fourth anthology I’ve been in that has been edited by Lori Perkins. I was pleased with the first two, and I can’t wait for this one. It’s going to be out fast, too. Most likely by April 15th.

New Book Release…

It’s been a busy week. I submitted another novel to ravenousromance. com last Friday. It’s paranormal and it’s titled BEWITCHED BUDDIES. The title is tentative right now. But the story is about two hot young guys who take a road trip from Washington DC to Provincetown, Cape Cod. One is a werewolf who is on a quest to have the curse removed, and the other is a warlock who refuses to use his powers because he wants to be normal and live a regular life like everyone else. It’s a male/male romance, with tons of twists and turns, but with a surprise ending.

On Monday, I submitted another short story for the upcoming SEX AND TAXES anthology for ravenous romance. The story is male/male and it’s about a sexy young weight lifter who calls on a nerdy, but handsome, young accountant to help him sort out all his receipts. They start out organizing box fulls of write-offs, but wind up naked and in the middle of a pile of receipts.

And between getting the story out on time and working on two other stories (I’m not mentioning them, because one has never been done before…at least I don’t think it has), I started the latest novel for Ravenous, which I’m hoping to finish by the end of the month. And in the midst of everything else, I just found out yesterday that SURFER BOYS was released by Cleis Press. I have a short story in this book that’s titled “Carmel-by-the-Sea,” and it’s all about a sexy young guy who is out to conquer all his fears, and in doing so he meets the surfing instructor of his dreams.

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