Ryan’s Blog

A Nice Surprise This Morning…



When I went online this morning I had three things on my mind: an interview I’ve been promising I’ll do, getting up a new blog post about an interesting aspect in gay relationships/marriages, and getting out an invoice to my publisher for a book that was submitted last week. I like to get these things out of the way fast so I can start writing. Right now I’m working on a short story that I want to submit before the end of the week for Lori Perkins’s new football anthology.

But while I was checking my e-mails I found the photo above. All things stopped and I went directly to facebook to say thank you. The photo was posted on my wall by my blogging buddy, Ryan. Here’s Ryan’s blog, a guy in love. His posts have always resonated with me because I can identify with a lot of the things he’s experienced. I’m linked to him in two places here on the blog. I’m also linked to him way down deeper inside. I’ve watched him grow from a kid, blogging about what it’s like to be a gay teenager, into a strong, smart man who just seems to get better and better.

I’m bad with time, but it has to be at least seven years since I first stumbled across Ryan’s blog. I’ve seen him go through ups and downs…mostly ups. He’s made me laugh more than anyone I know just by being there when I was going through downs. And we’ve established a trusting friendship through e-mails that I cherish. The only thing left to do is meet in person and give him a hug. He lives in Florida; I live in Pennsylvania near Philadelphia. That’s not easy to do. But I hope one day I get a chance to do this in person.

Thanks to Ryan from A Guy In Love

For those who read my blog, you’ve heard me mention a blogging buddy I’ve had for a long time. Here’s a link to his blog, and his name is Ryan. I think it’s like six or seven years now I’ve been following him. But it could be longer. The time flies so fast I lose track.

Well. I just wanted to send a shout to Ryan, and tell him I love this new group he started on facebook. It’s a private group celebrating the nude male body. Oh yeah, male nudity. That’s right, male nudity. The emotional folks over at a few romance web sites wouldn’t know what to make of it and they’d probably drop their half-glasses and the tight little buns at the back of their heads would explode. They might even shudder and cross their legs.

But this is the kind of group that’s fun and entertaining. And with so much boring, cute crap out there sometimes on publishing blogs…not to mention all the serious depressing crap…it’s nice to see something that’s fun for a change. I just hope facebook doesn’t decide to censor it. They’ve been known to do that, you know. Facebook isn’t a democracy. Because if it does, I might have to talk to Ryan about starting our own little fun web site/social network like this and facebook can go to hell.

Boys Are Ugly Blog is Back in Business

Just a quick post about my buddy Ryan’s blog, Boys are Ugly but so Cute. This week, after getting tired of trolls and haters, he decided to shut the blog down and call it quits. Though he’d been blogging for years, he just got tired. I know how he feels. This is why I have comment moderation on all the time.

But I just heard that he’s changed his mind and he’s going to continue. Only this time he’s going private, so he won’t have to deal with the trolls and anons who don’t have the courage to leave their real names on the comment thread. He’ll switch to private sometime this weekend, and send his followers e-mails letting them know how to follow his private blog. It’s not that difficult. I’ve been following several private bloggers for years.

The End of a Blogging Era: Boys Are Ugly But So Cute

When I first discovered blogs and really got into reading them, I was working for bestgayblogs.com doing reviews and interviews. One day I stumbled across a blog titled, “Boys are Ugly but so Cute,” and I couldn’t stop reading it. The posts were about young gay men living life and getting through their lives one day at a time, and I fell in love with them all.

By the time I was finished reading the entire blog, I had to contact the author for an interview. I was nervous. I thought he might turn me down. But this very young blogger answered my e-mail with the nicest reply and graciously agreed to grant me the interview. Since then, though my life has changed in many ways, from work to personal, I’ve continued to follow this blogger daily. I found out his name was Ryan, I found out we had a lot in common in spite of a fifteen year age difference, and we formed an online friendship that is just as strong as any other friendship I’ve ever had.

But it wasn’t always perfect. When you blog about your life or your work, there are always going to be negative people making hate comments and trying to ruin things, especially if you’re openly gay. I’ve experienced it so much myself that I’ve had to implement comment moderation. And I know for a fact that my blogging buddy Ryan has experienced more than his share of haters. The best we can do is post about it, get if off our chests with a few rants, and then focus on the positive things.

And this is exactly what Ryan has done all these years. Until this week. He finally had enough. I was shocked and saddened to learn that he’s decided to close the blog and discontinue “Boys are Ugly but so Cute.” But I do understand why he’s doing it, and I support him 100%. Everything, good or bad, eventually comes to an end. Even though a lot of readers are going to miss Ryan’s blog, he feels it’s time to move on and do different things.

Personally, I’ll miss his posts, including the rants. Most of the time I absolutely agree with his opinions, his politics, and his frustrations. We’ve already talked and I’ll keep in touch with Ryan once the blog is down. I might even ask him to do a guest blog here…if he agrees. But we both think our friendship goes beyond blogging at this point. And I can’t say that I don’t know how he feels. I do know and I’ve been feeling the need for a few changes myself. Maybe this decision by Ryan will spark me to make a few changes I’ve been pondering for a while, both career wise and with blogging. In coming months I have a feeling I’ll be announcing my own huge changes, too.

Good luck, Ryan. We’ll miss you. You made us laugh and cry. But we’re also very thankful to have had the opportunity to read your blog and experience so much of your life!!

My Huckleberry Friend

Huckleberry Friend:

A very special, good friend that’s been in your life for years, typically since youth. From the Johnny Mercer and Henry Mancini song, “Moon River”, which was featured in the classic movie “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”.

There are your good friends: people who love you. And then there are your huckleberry friends: people who’ve known you for years and have stuck by you and love you no matter what.

People who follow me, have to know that I have a blogging buddy, Ryan. He blogs here, and I’ve known him now for at least five years (I lost track). I started following his blog when I was doing reviews and personal interviews for bestgayblogs.com. And once I started, I got hooked. Ryan has a blogging style that can’t be copied; he’s truly one of a kind, in that Audrey Heprun sort of way that can’t be duplicated by anyone else.

And since then, Ryan is the one blogger with whom I’ve continued the contact. I’ve seen bloggers come and go; I’ve seen blog followers come and go. For most, blogging is just a whim. They start out with high expectations, and when they realize it’s not as easy as it looks to be a great blogger, they give up and disappear. And this is fine for them. But Ryan’s always been there…and I’ve always been there to follow his latest posts.

Ryan doesn’t know this, but I’ve always thought of him as my huckleberry friend. Though we’ve never met in person, and we come in and out of each others lives so casually, we share a connection that doesn’t happen often.

Prayers 4 Ty

I just interviewed a new blogger, Ty, from I’LL DO TRICKS FOR YOU, about a week ago. And this morning I learned that he’s been in an accident. He’s in a coma right now. His brother, Ryan, asked everyone to post this photo…so here it is.

Be strong, Ty.

If you want all the info on his condition, read Ryan’s blog posts. http://aguyinlove.blogspot.com/