reality tv

Dating Younger Men; Should Sex Work Be A Crime; Josh Duggar In Rehab

Dating Younger Men

Here’s another installment in a series of memes from comedian, Sam Kalidi, and this time the focus is on dating younger men.

We’ve asked online comedian, voice actor and chest hair model Sam Kalidi to create a new meme each week for Queerty readers. This week he takes notice of gay men of a certain age who wonder if a May-December romance is right for them. Sam looks forward to all your hate mail. You can find him onTwitterFacebook,Instagram and at your local glory hole.

You can check them all out here. I like this one…

If he doesn’t get this, he’s too young for you.  

You’ll have click the link because I can’t share without permission.

Should Sex Work Be A Crime

Here’s a piece that’s relevant because of the raid at that rent boy office in Manhattan. I’ve seen so many comments about it on social media all week I didn’t realize it was such a hot button topic.

Tuesday morning’s sting operation came just days after an announcement by several major LGBT rights advocacy organizations–Transgender Law Center, Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders (GLAD), Lambda Legal, National Center for Lesbian Rights, and National Center for Transgender Equality–would be joining Amnesty International in calling for decriminalization of sex work.

You can read how people feel in the comments, here.

I try not to comment on things I know nothing about. This is one of them. 

Josh Duggar In Rehab

Evidently, Josh Duggar is in a rehab. I guess this is fallout from the disclosure of the whole Ashley Madison thing.

 In a statement, Josh’s parents, Jim Bob and Michelle, said they were “deeply grieved” by Josh’s actions but “thankful for the outpouring of love, care and prayers for our family during this most difficult situation.”

They also said they predict a “long journey toward wholeness and recovery” but they believe that with Jesus on his side, Josh will be OK.

“His wrong choices have deeply hurt his precious wife and children and have negatively affected so many others,” the statement said. “During this time we continue to look to God—He is our rock and comfort. We ask for your continued prayers for our entire family.”

The rest is here.

The comments are about as vituperative as you would expect. And it’s hard to blame the public for feeling this strongly about people who lead such questionable lives.

 
The Rainbow Detective Agency Book 6


The Scottish Duke


 
 

Bristol Palin/Duck Dynasty; Defending Gay Teacher in Catholic High School

Bristol Palin/Duck Dynasty

Update: spelling correction with the word duck…it really wasn’t intentional. The u and i are side by side and I type fast. So are the f and d. 

Bristol Palin, reality TV personality and daughter of Tea Party radical, Sarah Palin, has a blog on what appears to be a far right web site where she blogs for commercial reasons and hocks her readership with ads that range from those Chicken Soup books to her book. (It’s really a messy blog, as blogs go, and not one that will win any awards.) I don’t know where the book ad link leads because I’d rather not support her. If you click those ads the blogger sometimes gets some kind of compensation, though most people don’t know this, and I didn’t see it disclosed anywhere on the blog. In any event, Bristol Palin wrote a short blog post supporting another reality TV personality, Phil Robertson, from the reality show Duck Dynasty. In Palin’s post she makes claims about free speech and generalities about the LGBT community and I thought I would comment on a few of them briefly.

For those who might not have heard, Phil Robertson of Duck Dynasty made a few gay hate comments recently and since then videos of previous anti-gay statements have surfaced. You can read more here. Robertson didn’t just come out against gays, at least not in a logical, civil way. He compared gay sex, among other things, to bestiality. If you are an LGBT person or you’re familiar with LGBT people his comments aren’t just offensive. They don’t make sense.

First, Bristol Palin thinks all LGBT people think that everyone should support gays. This is what I mean by generalities, and making assumptions. She thinks we expect every “flippen” person (yes, flippen) to agree with our lifestyle. She also makes the assumption that ALL LGBT people have no respect for what other people believe. Ultimately, she knows very little about the LGBT community and how diverse it is. I’m with my partner twenty-one years and our lifestyle isn’t much different from any other straight couple we know.  In fact, most would think we’re a little dull. We support equal rights and same sex marriage for obvious reasons, and I blog often and write often about them, but we’re far from being activists of any kind. And we don’t expect everyone to agree with us.

Yes, there are gay activists who are just as radical (and amusing) in the opposite direction as Bristol Palin’s mother, Sarah Palin. And those gay radicals don’t always have respect for the opinions of others. I know a few myself. Tony and I have had friendships suffer because of this. But I respect them, too. We’re just not like them, and that’s the way it works with the entire LGBT community. Although we’re all fighting for equal rights, the same equal rights Bristol Palin is allowed to have without even realizing her privileged circumstances, the diversity within the LGBT community is often polarized and LGBT people don’t always agree on everything…just like straight people don’t always agree. I think that’s called normal.

But I don’t want to digress. In another part of Bristol Palin’s blog post she mentions God and the bible, as if she has a claim to religion and faith LGBT people don’t have. But here’s where Palin shows again how little she knows about the LGBT community at large. Religion, spirituality, Christianity, and all other forms of faith are not exclusive to Bristol Palin, straight people only, and the radical Christian right wing of America. I get private e-mails all the time from gay men who are still in the closet telling me how hard it often is for them to get through a church service these days because of the gay hate they hear in church. These are not radical gay activists. These gay men are quiet, humble people without an agenda and no one even knows they are gay. I also know gay priests and ministers who could go verse for verse and line for line with Bristol Palin on the bible.

But I think this line in Palin’s blog post is the most interesting.

I hate how the LGBT community says it’s all about “love” and “equality.”

She “hates.” That’s an important word. That’s also a direct quote from the post and I’m not making it up. Unlike Palin’s blog, mine is non-profit and I have no viable reason to sensationalize. My only goal here is to disabuse a few myths people may or may not have about the LGBT community. Palin could have said she didn’t understand, especially when making reference to the LGBT community as a group of haters. But she used the word “hate” instead. What’s that about?

Toward the end of Palin’s post, she makes reference to an article written by a “homosexual” at Time Magazine. I’m not a huge fan of Time Magazine because of their politics and I haven’t read that article so I can’t comment. But in the end Palin claims she doesn’t agree with everything this “homosexual” writes but she thinks it’s time to stand for free speech. This free speech issue has been going around the Interwebs ever since Phil Robertson made the offensive gay slurs and once again, Palin doesn’t seem to get the basic concept of free speech. In case I forgot to mention it, Bristol Palin is an avowed “heteronormative.” If she’s going to label people as “homosexual” I think she deserves a label, too.

In a simple search, I found this article that seems to sum up free speech about as well written as I’ve ever seen it done. It’s actually titled, The Idiot’s Guide to Free Speech. And I purposely decided to link to this article because it was written before Phil Robertson made the offensive gay slurs and the Palin family started ranting about free speech. When the article was written there was no hidden agenda.

Free speech, according to the article, means this:

As an American, you have the right to say most anything you want to say without being penalized by the government

It continues in more detail. But it also states free speech does NOT mean you can do or say anything without reactions. You are not exempt from “Criticism, Shame, The Right to Anonymity, Mockery, and, again, Consequences.” In other words, you can say what you want and the government can’t come after you (in most cases, not always), but you may face a firestorm afterward. Duck Dynasty star, Phil Robertson, made some of the most hateful comments I’ve ever read about LGBT people and there were consequences. In his case he was suspended from his TV show and most normal people will now dismiss him completely. No one is exempt from this, especially not Bristol Palin or her mother. I’m not exempt from it either, which is why I always choose my words with care.

But the original point of this post wasn’t about free speech. It’s about Bristol Palin making assumptions and generalities about the LGBT community and not really knowing a thing about the community. There are gay Christians, gay Republicans, gay Democrats, gay Jews, and so on. And it’s that kind of diversity in the LGBT community that is always underestimated the most. Phil Robertson didn’t just offend gay activists and left wing political pundits with his offensive free speech, he offended the invisible gay brother/sister who hasn’t come out yet, he offended the gay minister who is terrified to come out, he offended the gay neighbor, friend, boss, employee, and cousin who lives a simple discreet life and minds his/her own business. He also offended the straight people who are close to gay people. And that’s why this “flippen” issue is far more involved than just making general assumptions with the underlying intention of selling a book or some other product, Ms. Palin.  

You can read Bristol Palin’s entire commentary post here. Just don’t click the links on the sidebar.

Defending Gay Teacher in Catholic High School

In a post that I think is directly related to how uninformed heteronormative Bristol Palin really is about gay people, I posted last week about a Catholic high school teacher in a Philadelphia suburb not far from where I live in New Hope who was fired from his teaching job because he filed for a marriage license in New Jersey. Something similar happened in Washington state and now students are offering their support.

Students at a US high school in the state of Washington staged a sit-in after finding out a gay teacher had been fired for marrying his partner. Vice principal and swim coach Mark Zmuda worked for Eastside Catholic High School for approximately a year and a half.

You can read more here. It’s an interesting article, and one that shows how things are changing in more positive ways than the negativity we’ve seen in the past. The Catholic school has every right to fire the teacher, and the students have every right to react to the decision. I wonder if Bristol Palin would classify these students as haters.  

If you’re a Bristol Palin supporter and you want to leave a comment, please don’t bother. You can exercise your right to free speech on your own web site, not mine. This is my world.








Clip From CBS Show "3" with Non-fiction Author Joe Mihalic

I posted about non-fiction author, Joe Mihalic, being on a new TV reality show earlier this week and someone sent me a clip. You have to look fast; Joe’s the one in the grey shirt. And you have to get through one of those insufferable, annoying political ads these candidates are spending/wasting millions on first, but the show sounds interesting and it’s being promoted as something different than the usual reality TV we normally see.

You can view the clip here at the CBS web site.

What should be even more interesting is that Joe plans to talk about his experiences on the show, on his blog, when he’s finished and he’s able to talk about them. Now that sounds like it should be fun.

I was approached to do a reality show about romance authors last fall through a contact of my old editor’s at ravenous romance, Lori Perkins, who also happens to be a Literary Agent in NY. I haven’t heard anything about the show since I was approached, but I turned it down for one main reason, which is an important reason. I don’t consider myself to be a romance author. I write *gay* fiction, and sometimes it’s romantic. But not all the time. I don’t think it would have worked, and it wouldn’t have been very authentic. If I ever do start writing books with women in long flowing gowns on the covers, then I might consider it.

The hardest part about turning that down was that I am a shamelss fan of some reality TV, and I’ll be watching “3” right after “Big Brother,” tonight.

3…A New CBS Reality Show Starring Self-Pubbed Non-Fic Author, Joe Mihalic


While I was writing a review for Joe Mihalic’s book, “No More Harvard Debt,” this morning I went to his blog for a link and discovered something interesting.

He’s been selected to star in a new reality show on CBS, called, “3.”

Here’s the blurb:

“3 is a relationship show that won’t perpetuate a fairy tale myth about dating. Without any typical game play, it intimately documents the search for love and the reality of dating — the anticipation, the excitement, the rejection. Along the way, we’ll see personalities who are real, and flawed, and simply human.”

I became a fan of Joe as a blogger and posted about him here a couple of times. And not only because he did a great thing in general by paying off his loans so fast, but also because he’s the consummate blogger as blogging was intended originally and he’s now a self-pubbed author in non-fiction.

He’s also a decent guy, with no pretense or attitude. He reminds me of the male version of Zora Andrich who starred in the reality show “Joe Millionaire” a few years ago and won half the million dollar prize. I knew Zora personally when she lived in Lambertville, NJ, which is only a few miles from New Hope where I live. At the time Tony and I owned a few tanning salons and she was one of our clients. She was one of the nicest, and most gorgeous women I’ve met in a long time. And she worked just as hard as Joe.

It shows that good things to happen to nice people every now and then. And this time I hope Joe winds up meeting the woman of his dreams.

3 premieres this Thursday on CBS at 10/9C and all following episodes will be on Sunday at 9/8C.

You can read more about it here.

American Idol: It’s That Time of Year Again

Now that American Idol is going into full swing again, I thought I’d post about my novel, AMERICAN STAR. If you haven’t read the novel, I think this is an important post. And if you have read the novel, I think it’s even more important to read this post.

This book, so there is no confusion, is not a warm, tender romance like most of my other books. I just didn’t think the plot warranted being a warm, typical romance. AMERICAN STAR is, and was always supposed to be, an adult, satirical look at what might go on behind the scenes of a TV reality show like American Idol. It’s very erotic, in the true sense of gay erotic fiction, and there is romance. But not the kind of romance that will leave you with wet eyes. This is more of a modern romance, between very strong men, who do not apologize for their needs and the way they live their lives.

If anything, I hope AMERICAN STAR leaves you laughing, the same way I laughed while I wrote the book. Even the sexy scenes are satirical, campy and totally unreal compared to other books I’ve written, like TAKE ME ALWAYS and THE GHOST AND MR. MOORE.

And, I’d also like to explain, that while formatting this book as an e-book, there was a problem with the main character’s name. This happens all the time in e-publishing (so they tell me), and from what I hear it has something to do with the process of going from Word to digital format. It wasn’t a problem with editing. The book was edited very carefully, just like all my other novels and stand alones, by me and two other good editors at ravenousromance.com. So if you notice that the main character’s name is spelled differently in sections, there is a reason that went beyond my own personal control. But it’s only one letter, and it’s not hard to figure out. When the book was submitted, the names were all spelled correctly.

If you are still curious about the book and not sure about whether or not it’s for you, read one of my stand alones that was published by loveyoudivine.com, like DOWN THE BASEMENT or VANCE’S FLAMES. AMERICAN STAR is more along the lines of these stories.