This is a short and sweet post. And, I am not directing this to anyone in particular. When I harp about facebook and other social networks it usually comes from a discussion I’ve had with at least three or more other authors about social networking. And though we don’t always agree on everything, we did all agree on this one particular facebook rule.
If someone you don’t know well clicks “unfriend” and dismisses you, and you happen to notice they are missing from your friend list, do not contact them and ask why. And when I say “don’t know well,” I’m talking about facebook friends you’ve never met in person, aren’t related to, and probably never will meet in person.
First, it’s just not a cool thing to send someone you don’t know personally a personal message asking about why they unfriended you. It’s confrontational and defeats the purpose of facebook. If someone unfriends you they obviously have their reasons and you have to respect them. I’ve had people unfriend me on facebook and unfollow me on twitter and I figured it was none of my business and I let it go. And I’m sure there are more I haven’t bothered to notice. (Who really has that kind of time?)
I’ve also unfriended people on my facebook page, mainly for one reason in particular: they got into politics. My own personal rule is facebook is a place for social networking, not political networking (if you don’t agree with me, feel free to unfriend me). I don’t always unfriend; sometimes I just hide them from my feed. Not all political posts on facebook are offensive. Some are smart, well thought out, and you can learn something from them…whether you agree with them or not. I don’t mind those posts. But the ranters and zealots, on either end of the spectrum, turn me off.
And if someone doesn’t like what you’re doing or posting, they have every right to delete you from their list of friends. Of course you have every right to contact them and ask why, especially if it’s your next door neighbor, best friend for twenty years, or your Aunt Sally. But it’s not a cool thing to do if you’ve never met the person. Seriously.