Twisty the Clown on American Horror Story; A Mom’s Letter of Gay Remorse; Neil Patrick Harris on Being Gay

Twisty the Clown on American Horror Story

Even I have to admit that Ryan Murphy outdid himself this year with the theme of American Horror Story: Freak Show. The freak show appeal not only captures the end of an era in the US, but also proves the subject still has the ability to capture the overactive imaginations of people today. And one of the most interesting characters is the clown, and that’s hard to top because all of the characters lend something fascinating to the show whether it comes in the form of high camp or it’s deeply emotional.

In any event, John Carroll Lynch plays Twisty the Clown on AHSFS and he gave an interview recently to help explain what’s happening.

Ryan Murphy had said that some of the crew had to leave the set at times because you were so scary.
There were many evenings where I was standing kind of apart from them — as you see in the first two episodes; Twisty lives a solitary life. There were times I’d be sitting on the set and I would creep people out. In the first episode, where all of the people in the Freak Show are dismantling the body of the detective, I was standing apart as I was in the shot. Afterward I walked by and everyone was like, “Man, you’re really freaky over there.” I love that fact that people are dismantling a body on one side of the screen and then [people tell me] “I’m scared of you.” [Laughs.]

Do you think it’s mostly your costume that’s so freaky, or are you in full character the whole time on set?
I think a lot of it has to do with people’s general fear of clowns and fear of people in masks. But I also think it’s this kind of kooky discomfort around this person where you don’t know what his agenda is.

You can check out the rest of the interview here. Frankly, and this is no reflection on the show because I’m loving it, I don’t get the fear of clown thing. Clowns never bothered me, not Twisty or any other clown. I love them. I’d be more frightened of a fictional character named Twisty the Vagina. But this clown is scaring the hell out of everyone else.

A Gay Mom’s Letter of Remorse

There was an article recently about a mom’s experience when she learned her son was gay. In short, the family of the gay son decided to make him choose between Jesus and being gay. It’s a very hard story to read, because the more the gay son tried to change the worse his life became and he ultimately died. After the story was published the mom received tons of letters slamming her and criticizing what she did, and with good reason. Now the mom has published an open letter to the people who’ve been criticizing her.

From the original article that sparked all the negative reactions:

Now, when I think back on the fear that governed all my reactions during those first six years after Ryan told us he was gay, I cringe as I realize how foolish I was. I was afraid of all the wrong things. And I grieve, not only for my oldest son, whom I will miss every day for the rest of my life, but for the mistakes I made. I grieve for what could have been, had we been walking by faith instead of by fear. Now, whenever Rob and I join our gay friends for an evening, I think about how much I would love to be visiting with Ryan and his partner over dinner. But instead, we visit Ryan’s gravestone.

This is from the latest open letter she wrote to explain how she really feels:

Our much-loved eldest son and dear friend Ryan is dead — a fact that I daily try to get my brain wrapped around — and if you have ever had a child and lost them, you know that the pain of losing a child never leaves you. Never. We will live with intense sorrow over his death until our own deaths, and right now that sounds like a very, very long time. 

When we weep and mourn, we don’t question God or wonder why He allowed our son to die. We don’t have questions for God that complicate our grief; we only have questions and accusations of ourselves. The tapestry of our grief is woven through with threads of remorse, regret and self-reproach.

It’s a sad story that’s repeated all the time…even to a certain extent in my own life. I never met Tony’s mom. She passed in 2002 before I had the chance and we were already together for ten years. At the time, my family didn’t know Tony either. In my case it was kind of a don’t as don’t tell thing. However, I made a point to change that the same year Tony’s mom passed. And we got together with my mom and dad for dinner about a month later. This past summer, twelve years later, my mom spent six weeks with us recuperating from cancer surgery and Tony helped take care of her as if she as his own mother. It was six wonderful weeks of quality time I wouldn’t exchange for anything in the world. We’ve had many dinners together.

Neil Patrick Harris on Being Gay

Neil Patrick Harris has a new autobiography out and there have been a few things mentioned in the press about the content. For one thing, he first knew he was gay when he developed a crush on a trumpet player in middle school in l986. For another, he mentions a kissing incident with Burt Reynolds.

‘As a joke at the end of one take, Burt leans over and kisses you square on the mouth,’ he writes.
‘The crew thinks this is very funny, but it makes you uncomfortable. Uncomfortable and, it will ultimately turn out, gay. Burt Reynolds’ kiss makes you gay.’
– See more at:

But while appearing on BL Stryker did something happen that changed everything. 

‘As a joke at the end of one take, Burt leans over and kisses you square on the mouth,’ he writes. 

‘The crew thinks this is very funny, but it makes you uncomfortable. Uncomfortable and, it will ultimately turn out, gay. Burt Reynolds’ kiss makes you gay.’ 

For those who have never seen this, here’s a photo of Burt Reynolds, nude.

Now, if that sexy, fuzzy image of Burt Reynolds is not every little gay boy’s dream come true I don’t know what else is.

You can read more about Harris here, and I’m starting to think the book looks interesting. The problem these days is that it’s a book I would have lunged at five or ten years ago just out of pop culture curiosity, but I have so much reading right now and so many other choices I’m not even sure I have time. Plus, the kindle version is 10.99, which means sorry Randon House but not until you drop that price a little.

But if you are curious about coming out, and you don’t have anyone to talk to, I think this would be a great book to read in digital form on your phone, in private. Even if they are raking you over the proverbial coals a little with the ridiculous price of the e-book. Books like this usually help make the coming out experience easier when you see that you’re not the only one.

Too Hard to Handle

by Ryan Field

Where’s That Dildo 2; Jeff Bezos’ Little Amazon Campfire; David Burtka Solo Cabaret Act

Where’s That Dildo 2

Here’s a follow up on a post I did previously on a project where they take a dildo and hide it in a subtle place in a room, and then they take a photo, post it, and people have to find the dildo.

Are you surprised that it’s already catching fire?
We thought the idea had a lot of potential from the start just because everyone loves Where’s Waldo and everyone loves a good dick joke, and this is a combination of the two that’s simultaneously childish and very adult. However, the actual public response has definitely exceeded any expectations we had when this started and is great encouragement to push Subtle Dildo even further.

So who are the “we” behind Subtle Dildo?
We’re a group of 20-somethings that all live together and work in varied, separate fields. We don’t think our names are all that important when it comes to Subtle Dildo.

So far they claim they’ve had all positive responses. Maybe they did for all we know. I think it’s interesting as a human nature project.  I also think it’s interesting they won’t use their names. It seems to be the typical mind set these days.

You can read more here.

Jeff Bezos’ Little Amazon Campfire

I’ll bet most authors I know didn’t even realize that every year Amazon founder, Jeff Bezos, has a highly guarded, secretive event where he invites the most elite authors. They fly in on private jets and pull up in limos. It’s held at an exclusive resort in Santa Fe, NM. Most of the authors sound as if they’re from big publishing houses…the old guard of old publishing, and THE most privileged of us all. But it’s so highly protected no one speaks its name…so to speak…and like everything else Amazon related Bezos wants to keep it that way.

But this year there’s been so much controversy over the Amazon/Hachette issue about book pricing some didn’t attend, and some didn’t even get invited. Some are even talking about it, in a lame attempt to break the Amazon secrecy.

Some repeat Campfire attendees who have supported Hachette in the dispute say they were not invited this year. Others say they are having second thoughts about going. The event has become as divisive as the fight.
“My guess is a lot of writers turned it down this year,” said James Patterson, who attended last year’s festivities. Mr. Patterson, whose novels are published by Hachette, gave a speech in May, when he warned that Amazon needed to be stopped “by law if necessary, immediately.” 
You can read the rest here.
I wonder if they play hide the dildo at THIS event. Might do them all some good.
David Burtka Solo Cabaret Act
David Burtka is Neil Patrick Harris’ husband, and he’s been in the background for the length of their marriage/relationship. That’s about to change now, with Burtka taking on his own solo act in New York next month. Harris is directing it.

That chance will come in November when Burtka stars in a solo cabaret act entitled Burtka, David at 54 Below in New York City on 25 and 26 November.

The show will be directed by Harris who directed the Hollywood Bowl production of Rent a few years back.

It’s being promoted as a show that’s unlike any cabaret act before, which is interesting to me because I not a huge fan of typical cabaret, torch songs, or any kind of show tunes. But this looks like it could be different.

In any event, you can read more here. There’s also a link to the night club web site with a video of Burtka and Harris performing together. I watched it and I LOVE it. They’re great together and it’s not without humor and a little classic camp.

Side note: I love the remark about Burtka being Harris’ new “hubby.” I know that’s cheesy magazine talk for cute and adorable, but seriously, these guys have been together sharing their lives for over ten years.

Cowboy Howdy
by Ryan Field
Amazon Review: Do you know who you are? What you are? Howdy finds out in college, when he meets his roommate. We become what’s expected of us. What is right or wrong in life? What is love? Who do you supposed to love in life? Find out in COWBOY HOWDY. A great book, too short, but great!


Neil Patrick Harris: Lady and the Tramp; Neil Patrick Harris Wedding Tears; Mr. Gay Iceland Raped

Neil Patrick Harris Lady and the Tramp

If you like schmaltz, you’ll love this one (I do…like schmaltz). Neil Patrick Harris and husband did a video parodying the spaghetti scene from Lady and the Tramp. I saw a tweet about this same scene the other day, totally unrelated to Harris, and I was amazed at how many people didn’t even get it.

In any event…

But what is getting the most attention is the adorable reenactment Harris and Burtka do of the classic spaghetti eating scene from the animated Disney film Lady and the Tramp.
Harris is also promoting a book I probably won’t get a chance to read. I usually wait for reviews to see what’s in any celebrity bio or memoir. It’s got to be a little edgy to keep my attention, and I’ve been burned too many times by celeb books that weren’t, that I thought were a complete waste of time and money (big publishers). Tell me something I didn’t know before, like Barbra Walters did in her book. I’ll still be watching Harris’ book.  
Neil Patrick Harris Wedding Tears
I didn’t want to turn this entire post into a Neil Patrick Harris tribute, but this is also the kind of schmaltz I love…because it’s true. Harris admits to getting very emotional during his wedding vows.

‘It was so crazy,’ he told Rosie O’Donnell and Whoopi Goldberg during an interview this week on The View.

‘When you watch other people say their vows and they get all choked up you think, “Come on, pull it together.” Then when you’re standing there and it’s you, you can’t help but get super duper choked up.’

And that’s exactly how it works. I didn’t think I’d get emotional during our wedding, especially because we had a film crew shooting the entire thing. I thought I’d be a nervous wreck. In fact, I was sorry I’d agreed to do it. As it turned out, I was gone the moment we started reciting the vows. The film crew was wonderful and I forgot they were even there. The magnitude of it all just hits, especially when you been together for over twenty years, and something weird happens that’s hard to explain.

You can read more here.

Mr. Gay Iceland Raped

These stories interest me because for so long male rape has been ignored and pushed under the proverbial rug. And the fact is that male rape is relevant and damaging, and the shame that goes along with it. In this next link Mr. Gay Iceland, Troy Jónsson,  talks about how he was raped as a child by his brother’s friend.

You can read the entire story here. This is just a small excerpt of the detailed experience, quoted exactly as it was published.

He told me “just bend over, bend over” and I said “no, no” and he put his hand on my shoulder and bent me over and said “I promise it won’t hurt, just try it”. And he had inserted and I was like, “this really hurts, I can’t do with it” but he kept repeating “just go with it, just go with it”.’

The rape lasted less than five minutes.

‘He was in control, he was “just go with it, it’s not going to hurt, stop complaining”. But you could see how scared he was. He was very afraid he would be discovered.

It really does hurt, even when you’re an adult and you’re not sure what you’re doing. It takes a while to figure out how to do it so you can enjoy it and it doesn’t hurt, especially with highly aggressive men. I can’t even imagine how horrible it would be to be forced into doing it that way. But I hope more men who’ve been assaulted this way…and have been assaulted by women because that happens, too…continue to speak up about it.

.99 Gay Romance
Jonah Sweet of Delancey Street
by Ryan Field

A real, honest Amazon review for Jonah Sweet of Delancey Street that wasn’t paid for or gamed to build the Amazon Rating…

4.0 out of 5 stars JONAH SWEET OF DELANCEY STREET, January 23, 2013

Verified Purchase(What’s this?)
This review is from: Jonah Sweet of Delancey Street (Kindle Edition)
Ryan Field, writes good stories. A story about someone who fails at everything, he has no light at the end of the tunnel. He lives with his parents, he has no hope in life. Read the book, you will love it.


Matt Bomer’s Final White Collar; Gay Big Brother 16; Neil Patrick Harris’ Nude Selfie

Matt Bomer’s Final White Collar

Matt Bomer recently filmed his last White Collar episode. He tweeted about it on Monday, thanking everyone as if they were family.

The show debuted in 2009 with a then little-known Bomer in the lead role of ex-con Neal Caffrey.

As a way of staying out of prison, Neal agrees to help the FBI catch other white collar criminals and works with an FBI agent played by Tim Dekay. Both Bomer and Dekay have appeared in all 86 episodes of the series which is having an abbreviated six-episode season six.

Bomer seems to have found that magic secret that most TV actors can’t find. He’s made the switch from TV to feature films in a relatively short amount of time, a lot like George Clooney did back in the 90’s.

You can read more here.

Gay Big Brother 16

I’ve been following Big Brother 16 mainly because I’ve been watching this show since it started a long time ago. And I’m not even a huge fan of “reality” TV because I don’t think there is such a thing. They’re all staged. And all this gay-baiting this season on Big Brother 16 is really starting to make me wonder. But, it is entertaining. I have to admit that. I’ve written scenes like this in romance novels never once intending it to be gay-baiting…where straight guys and gay guys almost get intimate, but they don’t.

This link is about Frankie and Cody snuggling up together when Zach isn’t around. Frankie is openly gay. Cody and Zach are a couple of butch straight dudes who seem to have taken this unusual liking to dear little Frankie. Of course the more Frankie snuggles with these two hot looking straight guys the more people watch and the more attention they get. In a way, it’s part of the Big Brother charm…for lack of a better word.

Frankie has previously been seen massaging Cody’s buttocks on more than one occasion but footage from the show’s live feed over the weekend shows a more intimate bond.

They cuddle in bed throughout a long conversation with two female contestants and as they cuddle, Frankie calls Cody ‘the most beautiful person I’ve ever met – inside and out.’

Cody says they will have to hang out after the game ends and the two talk about how Frankie lives right around the corner from where Cody’s brother once lived in New York City.

Of course one thing should be mentioned. They only go as far as a cuddle or a pat on the bottom in a playful way. There’s nothing romantic happening so far, at least not from what I’ve seen when the show airs. I should also mention that I watch the show because of the game in general. It’s fascinating to watch all these strangers come together in the same house, blocked from all communication, try to win a half million dollars and remain sane at the same time.

You can read more here.

Side note: Cody, the straight one, has been an underwear model prior to this show.

Neil Patrick Harris’ Nude Selfie

Of course the headline to this link is overly exaggerated and I think most of us expect that crap by now from all online publications. They’ll tell you anything to get you to click a link. And this time it’s by baiting readers with Neil Patrick Harris doing a nude selfie, in partial make up.

The post-show selfie is what is getting the most attention because the star appears to be wearing nothing but fingernail polish and what is left of his make-up.

Here’s the link, but don’t get too excited. There’s no full frontal…or even an ass shot. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t care who poses nude or who takes a nude selfie, but I’d like to at least see a little ass if they’re saying that’s what they’re doing.

Here’s one comment:

So he shaved. Selfies are now as boring as mushy lipstick & runny mascara! Pffffft!

I think selfies have run their course, too. The rest of the comments run along these lines. There’s a reason why most photo shoots like this are done professionally. This is also a tough one for me for another reason. Last fall Neil Patrick Harris posed with his husband and kids in a pumpkin patch photo around Halloween in what looked to be the perfect gay family, not to mention the most blatant form of assimilation I’ve seen in ages. In the photo I linked to above he looks as if he’s tripping out. What kind of WTF-ery is that? You can’t be Cher and Marcia Brady at the same time. You wind up looking stupid.

Pretty Man
By Ryan Field

Rant: Time Magazine, Neil Patrick Harris, and Images of Gay Men

Well, they did it again. Time Magazine, for all their liberal efforts to save the world, insulted gay men just like they did it the last time I wrote about them, here. Only this time it was with a subtle comment, in a small piece written about Neil Patrick Harris. I used to think Time did these things to spark controversy. But now I just think they’re stupid.

I’m not going after Neil Patrick Harris in this post. I like his work and I think his public image is wonderful. And he has no control over what is written about him. However, this past week he was mentioned in Time Magazine’s 100 most influential people issue and the comment made about him, though nice for him, insulted the lgbt community once again. In this issue of Time, where they list 100 influential people, the comments are written by people who either know, or have worked with, the influential people listed. It’s a grand lovefest that often leaves me wondering, and it could be the reason why Time Magazine is growing thinner by the week, losing subscriptions by the day, and pissing people off by the minute.

In any event, the comment made about Neil Patrick Harris suggested that he’s such an influential man (simply because he’s gay, not because of the work he’s actually done), he’s partially responsible for changing the image about the way gay men are perceived in the world. This isn’t a direct quote. But that’s the gist of what it says.

And I’d like to know what’s wrong with the image we already have as gay men? Or, better yet, do we even need an image? Because what this comment about Neil Patrick Harris is suggesting is that there’s a negative image, obviously created by other gay men, and it’s somehow not right according to the image “they” want for us.

But more than that, what truly amazes me is that no one ever picks these little discriminatory remarks up on the mainstream. If someone made a public comment like this about any other minority in America, bombs would go off, heads would roll, and someone would be apologizing all over the talk show circuit.

For me, it’s just another reason why I’m not renewing my subscription to Time Magazine. Though I like him, I don’t need Neil Patrick Harris to set an image for me, nor do I need Time Magazine to suggest this is who I should be. Gay men (and the entire lgbt community) are all different. We’re not an image, we’re not a stereo-type, and to suggest that we should be is as insulting as so many comments we used to hear about other minorities in America.