Miley Cyrus

FREE Gay Excerpt; 2013 My Book List; Naked Adore You Parody

Naked Adore You Parody

Author Jon Michaelsen sent me this link earlier this week and I wanted to share. It’s a sensual video parody of Miley Cyrus’s Adore You by model, Brian Hawn. Brian has several Ass-ets worth mentioning. I thought about posting something more solid to welcome in 2014, you know, like good old Joe Konrath did. But then I figured WTF? This naked parody really is a naughty guy with a strong story, my readers don’t really give a damn what my predictions for 2014 will be, and this really is about as good as it gets in life sometimes. So Happy New Year!!

2013: My Book List

Here’s a list of the books I wrote and had published in 2013. I’m putting notes with some to explain things I think are important, and providing links where I can. These little posts actually help keep me organized, because I honestly wouldn’t remember offhand what I did this past year without them. Here’s a link to my full published list.

Pledges  An anthology with Cleis Press edited by Shane Allison
With This Cowboy I Love so Freely A Collection of Western Short stories 50,000 words
Bad Boy Billionaire Books 8 book series:
The Vegas Shark Full length novel
The Wall Street Shark Full length novel
The Actor Learning to Love Full length novel
The Ivy League Rake Full length novel
Silicon Valley Sex Scandal Full length novel
Cowboy in Love Full length novel
Palm Beach Real Estate Scoundrel (not yet published)
Small Town Romance Writer (full length 110,000 word novel not yet published)
Glendora Hill 4 book Series:
Cowboy Christmas Miracle Full length novel
Sheriff and the Outlaw Full length novel (not published yet)
Bruno Gmunder Books German Publisher:
Daddy Knows Best short story in anthology
Straight No More short story in anthology
Cherry Soda Cowboy novella
Fangsters full length novel Riverdaleavebooks.com
Internal Desires novella
Second Chance Series:
Second Chance: Book 1 novella
Second Chance The Littlest Christmas Tree novella
Second Chance Book Three (not yet published)
The Women Who Love to Love Gay Romance 50,000 word Anthology edited and published by Ryan Field

I think this is a complete list. It’s been a busy year and I may have missed something, and if I did I’ll update. I’ve also included a few that were published in 2012 to keep each series together in case someone asks me for a link to one particular series. It happens and it’s nice to just give readers one quick link.

FREE Gay Excerpt

This free excerpt is from my newest, yet-to-be-released novella in the Second Chance series. It’s so new I don’t have a title yet. But I will soon. I wanted to post this excerpt to show how this series follows a pattern. Each novella is completely different, with storyline and character development. However, the basic formula is the same, where each character in each story winds up in the same place at one point, and this point is where the main character is offered his second chance to go back and change the events of his life…if he so chooses to do this. I set it up almost like a television series, so readers know there are certain things to expect. At the same time, each novella will have more than a few surprises and a chance for each main character to get his own happy ending…again, if he so chooses.

The one recurring character in each novella is Rory, and he’s part of the excerpt below. He’s the guide each main character meets at the Department of Second Chances. Keep in mind this is still the raw version and there might be a few revises made in the final e-book.

 

“Not exactly,” Rory said. He grabbed Lance by the waist and lifted him up so he could sit on the table. Then he jumped up and sat beside him. “I haven’t mentioned the real reason you’re here. What just happened was only you getting a chance to live out your fantasy. It’s like a bonus. But it’s not all that important.”

            Lance laughed. “That’s easy for you to say. I just got pumped by more men than I can even count and I need to use a bathroom.” All those men had left him a mess and he wanted to clean up.

            “You don’t need a bathroom,” Rory said. “There won’t be enough time.”

            “What’s next?” He felt a thump in his chest. “I don’t think I can take on any more guys today.”

            Rory turned and sent him a stern look. “The main reason you’re here has nothing to do with sex. You’re here because you’ve been selected to go back to your life and get a second chance.”

            “You’re joking.”

            “I wouldn’t joke about that,” Rory said. “It’s not complicated, so pay attention. You’re going to get a chance, if you want the chance, to return to the most pivotal time in your life. It’s the time when you made a choice, and that choice affected the outcome of your entire life. In most cases, people return to their youths. But your case is a little different because the most pivotal point in your life happened when you were forty-two. Do you know what I’m talking about?”

            Lance didn’t have to think twice. “Of course I know.” He’d led an uneventful life until he was forty-two, and he hadn’t been prepared for what had happened.

            “You don’t have to go,” Rory said.

            “What happens if I don’t go back?”

            Rory shrugged. “I can’t disclose that. I’m sorry. I stick to the rules.”

            “Let me get this straight,” Lance said, “I get a chance to go back and redo my life. I can do things differently if I want to.”

            “Not exactly,” Rory said. “It’s not that simple. If you choose to go back for a second chance there’s no guarantee you won’t make the same choice twice. That’s really up to you. You won’t be aware you’re getting this second chance.”

            “That’s not fair,” Rory said. “Now that I know all the things I know about life I should be able to draw from my experiences.”

            “Nothing in life is fair,” Rory said. “And you’re no exception to the rule. Everyone gets their chances and everyone is treated equally. But sometimes we like to offer second chances where there were unusual circumstances.”

            “I’m not sure I want to do that,” Lance said. “If I do everything the same all over again I’m only repeating myself.”

            “Most people get some kind of sign the second time, so you might not repeat yourself,” Rory said. “It’s not anything obvious, and sometimes people ignore their intuition. But most of the time it works out well. The only risk you run is doing the same thing twice. And if that’s an issue you are by no means forced to take your second chance.”

            “Can I think it over for a day or two?” Lance asked. He knew if he took the second chance he would be returning to the time when he’d first met Sergio. His first partner, Davis, had been away on business so often and he’d been so lonely. He’d always wondered what things would have been like if he hadn’t left Davis for Sergio. Now Rory was offering him a chance to find out.

            “No, there’s no time,” Rory said. “You have to decide now.”

            He thought for a moment. He remembered the passion he’d first experienced when he’d met Sergio. Then he remembered the pain all over Davis’s face when he’d told Davis he was leaving to be with Sergio. He’d never seen a grown man with such a horrified expression since then. And yet, through all the pain, he’d loved Sergio with all his heart.

            “We don’t have much time,” Rory said. “You have to decide.”

            Lance squared his back and said, “What do I have to do?”

            “Close your eyes,” Rory said. “You’ll never remember a thing that happened here.”

            Lance closed his eyes and said, “Wish me luck. I have a feeling I’m going to need it. I’m not even sure what I would choose right now, and I’m aware of everything. I loved both of those men very much, and my life wasn’t easy with either of them.”

GQ’s 25 Least Influential List; James Franco Parody with Seth Rogen

GQ’s 25 Least Influential List

Other than wondering about who reads GQ Magazine anymore, or any print magazine for that matter, I couldn’t help notice that GQ Magazine’s list of the 25 least influential people is interesting. (If you still read print magazines please don’t comment with vitriol. I think it’s wonderful that you do, but print magazines like newspapers are dwindling fast and it’s not my fault.)

First, the most annoying thing is that I can’t actually get a comprehensive list of the 25 least influential because it’s one of those annoying web sites where you have to click from page to page twenty five times. Ugh!

In any event, some of the names on the list are surprising, some not.

While magazines across the country offer readers their pick of the world’s “most influential people,” this year, GQ magazine is bringing you the “The 25 Least Influential People Alive” — and on the list are MSNBC host Ed Schultz, and, of all people, President Barack Obama. This is the same magazine that oddly, named Obama “Leader of the Year” in 2009 and “Man of the Year” in 2008 while calling Sarah Palin “dangerous” and “poisonous.”

If you care about GQ’s list, you can read more here. And here’s a link to GQ’s actual web site where if you have the time in your life you can click through 25 long, slow pages and sift through ads you don’t care about.

Sorry for the snark here. But besides putting President Obama on the list and saying, “nothing gets done,” they also added Miley Cyrus for “licking sledge hammers.” I thought it might be parody at first, but it seems real. Unfortunately, GQ didn’t list themselves for the exploitation of men over the years, promoting fake unrealistic male images, and for being about as relevant as the typewriter in the year 2013.

James Franco Parody with Seth Rogen

Now this, I thought, was funny. When I saw it on social media in several places this afternoon I wanted to share just so I could have it up on the blog and link back to it again in the future. It’s a video of James Franco and Seth Rogen making out on a motorcycle.

Today, Seth Rogen released a shot-for-shot remake of Kanye West’s now-infamous, Lisa Frank-inspired “Bound 2” music video featuring Kim Kardashian.

According to his Facebook status, Rogen and James Franco made the video “during down time on the set of #TheInterview.” It looks like they had a lot of free time on their hands:

You can check it out here. Is it just me or is Rogen extremely attractive in this?

Tanning Mom Does Gay Porn; Naughty Art History; Miley Cyrus in Lingerie

Tanning Mom Does Gay Porn

Patricia Krentcil, better known as “The Tanning Mom” because she took her daughter into a tanning bed booth and gained national attention as a kind of sort of pop culture personality, now has a cameo in a gay adult entertainment movie, Kings of New York 2. She also gained attention because of the bizarre way she looked from too much indoor tanning. I have a comment about the tanning industry below.

According to the director of the film, Marc MacNamara, Tanning Mom allegedly showed up on the set a few sheets to the wind, too.

“We expected Patricia to need a bit of hand-holding, but when she showed up we quickly found out we had to hold more than her hand to prop her seemingly inebriated body up… She seemed to having a great time, but it was definitely a challenging day. In the end she delivered Tan Mom in all her glory and that’s what people are infatuated with.”

In full disclosure, Tony and I used to own tanning salons back in the 1990’s. At the time, it seemed like a fun business and we didn’t have all the information out that we have now about skin cancer. In fact, at the time tanning beds were being promoted as safer than the real sun because it’s a controlled environment. You can only base your decisions on the information given to you at the time.

But the first year in business I grew extremely disillusioned with the way the tanning industry was run, and the way many tanning clients (customers) develop an addiction to the tanning beds. Also at the time, tanning during prom time was a huge event for girls and boys in high school. The prom crowd would descend upon us in droves from April 1 until the end of June. Back then in New Jersey, it was legal but Tony and I always insisted upon a parent or guardian signature, and we insisted on meeting the parents the first time the kid came in. And even though it was legal for minors to come in, we set our own strict rules and guidelines about how often the prom kids could come in and use the tanning beds. In other words, it was not unrestricted with us.

We also had several adult clients who were just as addicted as the Tanning Mom and they would come into the salon and tan daily every single day of the year…no matter how much I told them it was a bad idea and that they didn’t really need to do it that often. I soon discovered indoor tanning truly is an addiction for some and these people can’t help themselves any more than other addicts. This is what ultimately led us to sell the business in less than five years. I found the lack of government (and state) restrictions at the time irresponsible and I didn’t want to be part of an industry that promoted anything like that. The money the business generated was good, but I just couldn’t continue dealing with the addictive personalities and all the health risks that kept coming out in reports.

Naughty Art History

There’s a new book out, Erotica Universalis, that covers erotic art history dating as far back as ancient Egypt.

Erotica Universalis” has been published in more than a few iterations, but the newest version of the series was published this month. Coupled with erotic writings from the likes of Ovid and Voltaire, the familiar and obscure imagery highlights just how indecent artists have been willing to get. Think of the puritanical backlash Picasso faced when he painted “Les Demoiselles d’Avignon.” Now, imagine the mouths agape when Courbet debuted “L’Origine du Monde.”

You can read more here. Erotic art like erotic romance has always been around, and some of the photos in the article are fascinating. I used to represent many contemporary erotic artists in my gallery in New Hope, and clients would ask to be on waiting lists just so they could see an artist’s latest work first. Of course there are those who would call this porn, but you can’t blame them for not knowing any better.

For those erotic authors out there who often feel is if they are being slammed daily by the Internet porn police, there’s nothing new about erotica and you’re in good company. There will always be those who think too much erotica is porn, and there will always be an argument about the difference between porn and erotica.

Miley Cyrus in Lingerie

Update: Miley Cyrus is now under fire with the Stroke Association for comments made on SNL. 

Last week I posted about the way Miley Cyrus was attacked online, in an open letter, by an aging singer with previous mental health issues, Sinead O’Conner. The attack by O’Conner criticized the way Cyrus dresses and tends to promote her sexuality as a woman. When Cyrus responded to the attack suggesting they get together and talk about it, O’Conner went into more rants on social media. This week Miley Cyrus showed up at Planet Hollywood in New York in what looks like lingerie.

Miley Cyrus celebrated the release of her fourth studio album, “Bangerz,” on Tuesday night at Planet Hollywood in New York, and it seems like she decided to simply forgo an outfit for the evening.

You can read about it here, where there are photos of Cyrus looking better than ever, and happier than ever. I have a feeling this little display is Miley Cyrus’s polite response to Sinead O’Conner’s rant last week…and it’s very well done!

Sometimes the best revenge really is looking good. And sometimes you can flip the bird without even lifting a finger.

American Horror Story; Is Miley Cyrus a Victim?

American Horror Story

The new season of American Horror Story is coming up this week, and Ryan Murphy thinks it could run for 10 seasons. The show also has a big gay following for some reason, and DRVs in my house have already been set to record the entire series. Jessica Lange is back, and Kathy Bates is also part of the cast.

Jessica Lange plays Fiona, the Supreme witch of her generation, which means she has almost unlimited power — except that she can’t seem to stop herself from aging. Her daughter Cordelia, played by Sarah Paulson, is also a witch, but she’s chosen to stifle her powers and live a more “normal” life. Of course normal in a Ryan Murphy show means running a school for “exceptional young ladies,” a.k.a. young witches, in New Orleans, home of voodoo and the destination for witches fleeing Salem so many years ago.

“American Horror Story: Coven” premieres Wednesday, Oct. 9 at 10 p.m. ET on FX.

Read more here…

Is Miley Sirus a Victim?

In a Guardian article by Melissa Bradshaw, there are some interesting comments about whether or not Miley Cyrus is a victim, and whether or not Sinead O’Clonner was justified in penning Cyrus an open letter. I still think the main issue is dealing with people who have mental illnesses. However, if I were attacked online, non-stop, like O’Conner is attacking Cyrus, I’m not sure I would be so forgiving.

Perhaps you can already see the problem here. It is not women’s bodies or images of them that cause the exploitation of women or violence against women. The perpetrators are to blame. If women’s bodies were to blame for any violence or exploitation of women, then rapists would be justified in claiming their victims were asking for it by looking attractive. The rhetoric of objectification actually feeds that which it claims to protect women against – the equation of female nudity with exploitation and violence. What the world needs is not the idea that women are precious victims. Women need to be able to behave in a sexual way without exploitation or violence being considered a necessary outcome.

You can read more at this link.

I often post about rape culture here. However, I think these issues when coming from a woman’s POV, hold more impact than anything I could say or comment about. But I will add this: Cher started performing in less than nothing costumes many years ago, she shocked people at award ceremonies, and continued to do this well into her fifties. I would like to see how Cher would respond to Sinead O’Conner if O’Conner were to pen her an open letter. In fact, I would like ringside seats.