Gender Politics In Gay Romance; Channing Tatum Split His Pants; New York Gay Bar Closes; Rapper Mykki Blanco on HIV

 Gender Politics In Gay Romance

The topic of gender politics in gay romance came up once again this week and it’s not the first time I’ve seen it. It usually goes this way: a woman writing gay romance will claim there is no gender politics in gay romance, and then another woman who reads gay romance will argue that there is gender politics in gay romance…and she has the research to prove it.

I’m not linking to anything. I don’t have to. This is my personal opinion, as an openly gay man who has been married for 23 years…legally not even two…but you get my point. I’m not talking about inconclusive studies, text books, or research.

There is some gender politics in any gay relationship, but not as much as there is with straight couples. And here’s why. Gay men are men, not women. They think like men, they process like men, and they react like men. I’m not sure that makes writing gay romance any easier. In fact, in some cases I think it’s harder because a good deal of the conflict that exists between straight women and straight men is not there with gay couples. However, all you have to know is that there is far less gender politics in a gay marriage than there is in a straight marriage.

I’m sure there are extremes where the gender politics in some gay relationships/marriages is more evident. But it hasn’t been like that for me or for the hundreds of other gay couples I know.

Now, if you’re writing gay fiction and you’re creating characters that are larger than life, I do think adding some gender politics to a storyline not only creates more conflict, but also a little humor and excitement.

Bottom line: if you are a woman writing gay fiction and you read something online from a nasty blogger who thinks she knows it all about gender politics and gay relationships, don’t pay that much attention to it. The odds are she’s getting her research from limited sources. And those sources are limited because most gay men in relationships like me haven’t even begun to speak up yet.

Channing Tatum Split His Pants

Channing Tatum has been making headlines for joining Matt Bomer at LA Pride in WeHo, on a float. It’s a big deal…and it really is…because Tatum is straight and Bomer is openly gay, married, and has kids. You wouldn’t have seen this happen twenty years ago.

When I see gay public figures out there like Bomer, and straight public figures supporting them openly, I find that remarkable and I hope younger gay people don’t take this all for granted.

In any event,

Reports also claim that Tatum split his pants open during the event — we’d love to hear from people who were up front for that action.

Speaking to ET, Tatum said: “Sincerely, I only judge people on the way they are in their heart and that’s all.”

I find it amazing there are so many other straight public figures like Tatum who do support gay men this way without a hint of awkwardness. Trevor Donovan is another straight male actor who always makes supportive comments and never backs away from supporting gay issues.

You can check out the rest here, with photos of Tatum and Matt Bomer. I have to admit LA Pride is one event I would love to attend next year.

New York Gay Bar Closes

Here’s another one. A gay bar on the Upper West Side of Manhattan that’s been there for 50 years is now closing its doors. The trend continues.

It’s the end of an era. On June 22, the Upper West Side’s Candle Bar will be serving its very last vodka cran. The roomy dive, located on Amsterdam Avenue near the corner of West 75th Street, is a popular destination for legions of locals, many of whom are older gay men who’ve been haunting the spot since it opened in the mid-1960s. The regulars are “family to each other,” says manager Amonte Demarko, 37. “It’s like a gay Cheers. Where will they go?”

This seems to be almost expected now, and like brick and mortar bookshops closing we can blame some of it on the Internet. But not all.   

The rest is here. 

Rapper Mykki Blanco on HIV

Transgender rapper, Mykki Blanco, has opened up about his HIV status.

I’ve been HIV-positive since 2011, my entire career. Fuck stigma and hiding in the dark, this is my real life. I’m healthy I’ve toured the world 3 times but I’ve been living in the dark, it’s time to actually be as punk as I say I am.”

You can see that here.

This was a huge thing for Blanco to do. Huge. I know gay men who’ve been HIV positive for years and they won’t even discuss it intimately. I hope more start to open up about it. This is the only way we’ll get rid of the stigma.

The Rainbow Detective Agency: On Fleek


History Channel’s Texas Rising: Review; Jerry Seinfeld’s Gay Joke and PC Comments; Matt Bomer and Channing Tatum At LA Pride Parade;

History Channel’s Texas Rising: Review

I’m not much for reviewing films or TV shows because I always feel so presumptuous doing it…out of my element…but since I posted so much about the History Channel’s mini-series, Texas Rising, I figured I would link to a review with which I support. It’s short and simple, well edited, and what I believe the most professional reviews should be like.  

This one is from The New York Daily News. Here’s an excerpt:

Once you sort out who’s on first, “Texas Rising” gives you a mighty fine ride.

This five-night miniseries aims to rekindle the excitement of History’s “Hatfields and McCoys,” another sprawling, brawling tale from America’s wild-child past.

“Texas Rising” retraces the path by which Texas first declared itself an independent republic and then, in 1845, accepted annexation into the United States.

You can read the rest here. The only thing I can add is that Texas Rising is a pure dramatization, with plenty of action, and a romantic POV that for me was pure escapism. I get a slap in the face almost daily and I liked the entertainment this show provided me. I’m loving it, especially the performances and the all star cast.

You can check out my previous posts here for dates and times. I would imagine it will be on demand, if it already isn’t.

Jerry Seinfeld’s Gay Joke and PC Comments

I almost hate to comment on this one because I do think we often go overboard with what is and isn’t politically correct. I self-censor daily in order to avoid aggravation. But I will comment below, because I don’t agree with Seinfeld completely on this one.

In short, Seinfeld made a gay joke that tanked. It tanked BIG time. It tanked so badly they were holding back tomatoes. Instead of dropping the mic and leaving quietly, Seinfeld’s been complaining that we’re all too PC now…kind of like that way you blame auto-correct when you’re texting and something doesn’t come out right.
‘I did this line recently in front of an audience … and they thought, “What are you talking about gay?” “What do you mean gay?” And I thought, “Are you kidding me?’ Seinfeld told Seth Meyers on NBC’s Late Night this week.

‘Comedy’s where you can like feel an opinion,’ he said. ‘I can imagine a time when people say “Well that’s offensive to suggest that a gay person moves their hand in a flourishing motion and you now need to apologize.” There’s a creepy PC thing out there that really bothers me.’

The biggest problem with this is that not everyone is familiar with old gay stereotypes and hand gestures, especially not younger gay…or straight…people. I’ve said this before with other old comedians who think “that’s so gay is funny.” Comedy, like everything else, evolves with time. What was funny in 1910 was not funny in 1950, and what was funny in 1980 is not always funny now. Jewish humor doesn’t go over much anymore, just like gay stereotypes and gay humor that once got more than an awkward chuckle. In this case I don’t think it’s a matter of being too PC. I think it’s a matter of how people feel and comprehend various types of comedy…and how it’s communicated. I also think Seinfeld should keep up with the times.

You can read the rest here. The comments are interesting.

With that said, I don’t think Seinfeld is guilty of anything other than telling a painfully bad joke that bombed. In fact, a lot of people didn’t even get the joke, that is how much it bombed. I don’t think he intended to insult anyone. If I were him I would smile, bow, and show myself out.   

Matt Bomer and Channing Tatum At LA Pride Parade

I have to admit that I’m never tempted to travel to places like Florida or Los Angeles this time of year, however, it’s actually killing me that I didn’t get a chance to see what’s been going on in WeHo for LA Pride. Just the tweets alone from people I follow in WeHo have been tempting.

Channing Tatum and Matt Bomer surprised crowds at Sunday’s Los Angeles Pride Parade in West Hollywood when they danced their way down Santa Monica Boulevard on a Magic Mike XXL float.

The participation of the two heartthrobs as well as co-star Adam Rodriguez had not been advertised but once parade goers realized who was on the float, they could barely contain themselves.

The rest is here, with a photo of Bomer and Tatum.

The Rainbow Detective Agency: On Fleek