Category: Jonathan Groff

160K Respond to Christian Couple; "Looking" Fight Over Monogamy; Pope Francis on Gay Marriage, Again

160K Respond to Christian Couple

In short, a Christian couple in Australia vowed to get a divorce if gay marriage ever becomes legal in Australia. In response to that 160 thousand people responded with this:

More than 160,000 people plan to throw a massive party the day a Christian couple files for divorce if Australia adopts marriage equality later this year.

There’s even been a facebook page created:

Now, a Facebook event page has been created celebrating the Jensen’s impending divorce.

The party is being hosted by one Jesse Mount, who writes: “I invite everyone who supports marriage equality to come celebrate the DIVORCE of Nick & Sarah Jensen!”

“They have decided that being married together in a country where it’s legal for a man and a man to marry, or a woman and a woman, is just too horrible,” the invitation continues. “They’d much rather be divorced and I think we should all support and celebrate in their decision when the date finally does come.”

You can read the rest here. The couple makes a statement about why they don’t want gay marriage, which is the typical statement we’ve seen so far that only promotes ignorance and hate. One, they obviously don’t know any gay couples. Two, maybe they really do want a divorce and this is the best excuse they can come up with.

In any event, it is history and I think newsworthy so that we can revisit this time twenty or thirty years from now and remember people like them.

“Looking” Fight Over Monogamy

I’ve seen a few posts about this lately and I’m not all that surprised. Evidently, gay men of all ages “discuss” monogamy and relationships and not everyone agrees with everyone else. That’s the most delicate way I know how to put that.

In fact, I know gay couples who have been together for over thirty years and it’s not uncommon to hear that one or the other was “spotted” at a local cruise area looking for afternoon sex…on the down low. I also know gay couples who’ve been together for many years and they are completely monogamous. The examples I could give are infinite, including one where I’m writing about two fictional characters who have an agreement where they will bring a third sex partner into their relationship every so often but they won’t have sex with anyone else on their own.

Here’s the statement Jonathan Groff made:

I would say probably the epic fight over monogamy I had with Russell [Tovey] in the final episode. It really hit close to home. I had the monogamy conversations a million times with boyfriends and friends. Will we? Won’t we? What would it be like? It’s just something that’s been talked about a lot in different facets of my life.”

I doubt there’s a gay couple alive who hasn’t at least approached the subject. I’ve been there and so have most of my friends.

I also think this is a good example of how gender politics isn’t as important in some gay relationships as it is in straight relationships. We’re talking about two men discussing open sex. Not a man and a woman.

Pope Francis On Gay Marriage, Again

Oh yeah, the Pope is at it again. 

I tend to look at this a little differently because I was raised Catholic, I know how the Catholic Church deals with things, and I’m familiar with the don’t ask don’t tell silent rule. In other words, I went to a religious ceremony in a Catholic Church a few months ago and I would bet money that every priest on the alter was gay. I kept poking Tony and pointing the gay priests out. I’ve posted before about the two gay Catholic priests I knew, and also the time we were in a gay bar and a group of Catholic priests who taught me in school walked into the bar. In fact, I could literally write a long book on what I know about gay Catholic priests who sneak and lurk in the darkness. If you notice, the Pope never addresses these things.

So when the Pope makes statements like this I don’t take them to heart. I also know many Catholics who have no problem with gay marriage or anything LGBT.

On the heels of Rome’s LGBT pride parade last weekend, Pope Francis immediately marched out and made some blandly offensive proclamations regarding the sanctity of marriage. “Children mature seeing their father and mother [happy],” he droned airily, to an audience of 25,000 dozy worshippers. “What great richness this diversity is, a diversity which becomes complementary, but also reciprocal. It binds them, one to the other.”

I’ve also known a few nuns I would swear were lesbians. So while that does make things a little more complicated due to the official Church ruling on LGBT people, it doesn’t mean that all Catholics agree with, or support, everything the Pope says. He seems like a nice man, and we just pretend we do and we kiss his ring as a show of tradition and respect.

And then there’s this. Now the Pope is getting into climate change. I never weigh in on this because I do believe we have to take care of the environment, but I’m also on the fence about some things because the “science” says two different things most of the time. The argument continues, and now the Pope is getting involved in this, too.

You can read about that here.

For those of you very left wing liberals who are on a crusade to save the environment from all that is wicked and evil, you might find this quote from the Pope interesting. I’m not being glib about this either, so don’t shoot the messenger. I didn’t say this. The Pope did. Here you go:

Within the church, many conservative Catholics have questioned the pope’s heavy emphasis on the environment and climate change over other issues such as abortion and marriage.

Francis does address abortion and population issues in the encyclical, criticizing those in the environmental movement who show concern for preserving nature but not human lives.
I wish I could get the Pope to read this:

The Rainbow Detective Agency 

Box Set Series $5.99

Jonathan Groff’s Anal Cover; Gay Soccer Player Won’t Come Out; Pastor Preyed On Women

Jonathan Groff Sex Scenes

In this article Looking star, Jonathan Groff, talks about how his sex scenes are really filmed. He wears an “anal cover” for the rimming scenes, and a “dick sock” in other scenes.

‘The intimacy on Looking is challenging because we are in nothing but like a dick sock and an anal cover and our legs are in the air,’ Groff explains.

He adds: ‘I feel like in some ways those scenes are the most challenging and easiest at the same time.’

You can read more here. Looking, in spite of some snarky reviewers who can’t relate to a certain kind of gay man, has been renewed for a second season.

I know what a dick sock is, but I’ve never actually heard the term “anal cover” before.

Gay Soccer Player Won’t Come Out

This article is particularly interesting to me because I read a commentary today about m/m romance and it sounded a little glib with regard to how much things are changing and how gay men aren’t facing quite the same obstacles anymore. I don’t think it meant to be glib. But that’s how it sounded to a gay man. It made me wonder, as a gay man, if I had stepped into an alternate universe for a moment. I’m still debating about whether or not to post about it. Not that it would do any good. When I read these things I always feel like the only woman who has actually experienced giving birth in a room full of straight men who are talking about what it’s like to give birth. It’s an odd place to be. But then gay discrimination…and lack of respect for gay people…comes in many forms these days.

In any event, there’s a soccer player who spoke anonymously about why he won’t come out in public, and he gives an example of what happened to him when his team found out he was gay.

“By chance the team I was in found out that I was gay.

After a training session I walked into the shower and I realized all of my teammates weren’t naked,but were wearing underpants.

Of course I was totally shocked, and first I didn’t know why. Then I slowly realized: It’s because of me. In that moment I thought my career was over. I didn’t want to go to training anymore.

But after a week I went back to training. By the end of the season though, I was out of contention because I’d been playing badly. Nevertheless, I thought I’d played a good season.

That showed me that being gay just isn’t accepted in football. And that won’t change in the near future.”

There you are. I’m certain he’s not the only gay man in professional sports, corporate America, or any other walk of life where straight men still dominate that feels this way. For most, it is still too risky to come out. You can get a great part playing gayface these days in Hollywood if you are a straight actor, which is fine. But we don’t see many openly gay actors playing straight romantic roles yet.

You can read the rest here.  

Pastor Preyed on Women

This is the kind of hypocrisy that always guts me. There’s a pastor in Texas who claimed transgenders were predators and he didn’t want them around children. It was discovered he was actually preying on women himself.

Baker added to KHOU news sation: ‘The imagery that I have in my mind is a grown man going into the restroom with a six-year-old girl, sitting alongside behind her, using the restroom.’

 But city records have revealed Baker was placed on indefinite suspension from the city after the Office of the Inspector General (OIG) reportedly found Baker had sexually harassed female employees.

There’s more here.

Side note: there’s a fascinating cover story this week in Time Magazine about civil rights and transgender people. I can’t link to anything because I read it in the print version and Time only posts newer articles for those with online subscriptions. But when it’s up online I’ll look for it again.

Gay Survivor Benefits; Facebook Gay Emoticons; Jonathan Groff on Social Media

Gay Survivor Benefits

The Bayer company is being sued by the survivor in a same sex marriage because Bayer is refusing to pay survivor pension benefits. Gerald Passaro and Thomas Buckholz were legally married in Connecticut in 2008, and before that together for 13 years. Buckholz was a twenty year employee of Bayer and he died in 2009 only months after the wedding. At the time, there were legal complications they wouldn’t have faced today.

Passaro sought the benefits the company’s pension plan is supposed to pay out to surviving spouses of employees but Bayer told him he was not eligible because of the US federal government’s Defense of Marriage Act.

Even though gay marriage was legal in certain states, it was not recognized on a federal level which made these things more complicated, thanks to Bill Clinton’s DOMA. (Remember me posting that without federal support the state by state marriages meant very little legally?)

In any event, Passaro was part of the court case that struck down DOMA and now he’s asking Bayer to give him survivor benefits again, five years later. Bayer has refused and he’s suing them.

I’m not sure how something like this would work five years after the death of a spouse. Legally, he might not have much to go on. Because if that were the case than every single gay survivor in the US who was ever cheated out of money for taxes, pensions, or whatever would be getting compensation retroactively. And I doubt that’s going to happen. In 2009 Bayer was most likely following the law and gay couples were basically screwed.

There are a lot of legal issues popping up now that gay marriage is being recognized in more states as each month passes. I recently read where couples should make a point of changing certain things in deeds if they own property together.

You can read more about Bayer here.

Facebook Gay Emoticons

This is particularly interesting to see because of all the uproar last month when Facebook suspended the account Queer as Folk writer, Del Shores, for 30 days for posting what they claimed, “doesn’t follow community standards.” All Shores did was post about gay marriage. When this happened Del Shores, who obviously isn’t as familiar with Facebook as others, went berserk and claimed Facebook was discriminating against him because he’s gay. As a result, Facebook reached out to him with a full apology and said it was a mistake.

The problem with Facebook isn’t that they are anti-gay…or anti-anything. They just have a very poor policy with regard to reports and suspending accounts. But because Del Shores is famous and something like this happened to him the issue set off some of the strongest reactions I’ve seen in years. Of course no one bothered to mention that this sort of thing has been happening to gay people on Facebook since Facebook started. And oddly enough it has nothing to do with Facebook being anti-gay.

In any event, Facebook now has a set of brand new emoticons to celebrate gay pride month. I’m sure this has something to do with the Del Shores fiasco. I just wish Facebook would reevaluate its report policies so people are NOT guilty until proven innocent.   

These 28 different emoticons include a football player and his boyfriend, two moms and their kids, a dad embracing his gay son.

This is how you can get them:

click on the smiley face button in the right hand corner and then the shopping cart. The ‘Pride’ pack should be free and one of the first choices. Click on the ‘free’ button, and they’re yours.

The full article is here, with images of the emoticons.

Jonathan Groff on Social Media

Unlike Ellen DeGeneres who can’t tweet enough, Jonathan Groff has absolutely no interest in social media. I think this is why I like his style so much.

The star of HBO’s Looking says in the new issue of Scene Magazine: ‘I haven’t googled myself in five years. I stay completely unhooked when it comes to social media.’

That’s not only healthy, but smart. I often get odd looks from other authors when I tell them I stopped all Google alerts about five years ago myself because they were really getting under my skin. One vituperative asshole on a book review blog posted a negative article on her blog about one of my publishers, with the intention to not only harm the publisher but also harm so many new and inexperienced authors who were unfamiliar with that kind of irresponsible online behavior, without even giving the publisher a chance. And I decided that since I had no control over misinformed content like that (or vituperative assholes) I wouldn’t bother to read that kind of tripe unless it was absolutely necessary. Five years later, the publisher never did one unethical thing and the article was never updated or retracted. The blogger, however, has since been branded an online bully and was kicked out of RWA for basically being an asshole for this and other unrelated events.

You can read more here on Jonathan Groff. I hope he remains a class act.

Jonathan Groff to Critics; He Hates Condoms; Vintage Gay Art

Jonathan Groff to Critics

I posted my thoughts in a review of a review about the new LGBTI show, Looking, last week and most of my readers seemed to agree with me. It’s all subjective, which is important to take into consideration. But in this case what the critics of Looking who call it boring don’t seem to understand is that gay men like me and thousands of others aren’t sitting back anymore while only a handful get to voice their opinions.

In other words, the gay community is highly diverse and those select few in the gay community who have represented us in the past often find themselves being challenged now in ways that wouldn’t have happened ten or twenty years ago. No one challenged Truman Capote because no one ever admitted to being gay back then. In this case, though small when you think about all the issues we still face, it’s with the TV show Looking.

The star of Looking, Jonathan Groff, isn’t sitting back either, and he’s responded to a few comments about Looking that I think are highly significant with respect to many gay men and situations these gay men often find themselves in these days.

“The way that, potentially, this show is moving in the next direction, [is that] while all of the characters are gay, nobody’s sort of grappling with the fact that they’re gay,” he explained. “This show is about a group of gay men where their sexuality is kind of the least of their worries. Their problems are more their work environment or their love relationships or their friendships. Or they’re moving out of town, or you know, it’s about many other things in addition to being gay. Hopefully, its a reflection of where we’re at, which is where being gay is a huge part of who you are but it’s not the definitive thing about who you are.”

I think Looking, in a way, is a lot like Sex in the City, but with gay characters, and without the bad gay stereotypes Hollywood has been cramming down our throats since the beginning of film.

You can read the full article here, where there are vocal excerpts from the interview.

He Hates Condoms

The condom topic always creates highly charged discussion in any forum, but this article is a little different because the author, Matthew Ebert, discloses his HIV poz status in the first line.

I have always struggled with condoms. They remind me of something I hate, my HIV-positive status. My bad, you say? Nope. I just love barebacking. But I will not have anal sex without condoms. Which means I have not had intercourse in 18 years. But recently I met a younger guy who is HIV-negative, and I don’t want to risk transmission, so I decided to start loving the condom and learned to stop dropping those mind bombs that kept me down on the farm.

I can’t tell you how much I love this entire article.

You can read more here. It’s the first thing I think I’ve ever read that not only gets into the reality of condom phobia but also the reality that it doesn’t have to rule your life.

 Vintage Gay Art

During the ten years I owned my art gallery in New Hope I carried a number of newer artists who focused on gay art, but my favorite pieces…and those that usually sold the best…were always vintage. And this next article gets into not only gay vintage art, but magazine art.

In the 1950s, art admirers were hard-pressed to find images of gay male life adorning the walls of major galleries and museums. Instead, the beautiful work of photographers and illustrators like Bob Mizer and Tom of Finland were often exhibited within the pages of gay magazines. Diverse depictions of private male life — particularly erotic life — were thus made available only to the people who knew where to find it.

Knowing where to find it was an important phrase up until recently. For those gay men who were in the closet and had little access to large cities it was almost impossible to find anything even related to gay art.

You can read more here. There are also visual examples.

Photo attribution here.

Second Chance: His Only Choice; Ryan Field; Gay Sex in Films

Second Chance: His Only Choice, Ryan Field

Tonight, Second Chance: His Only Choice, was released on and will be released at all other venues where e-books are sold very soon. I’ll continue to update as I get links.

I’ve posted about it many times, here, with detailed explanations that include the book description and word count. Feel free to e-mail with questions as usual. This is the third book in the series and I had a blast writing it.

You can check it out here on Smashwords.

Gay Sex in Films

According to this article about gay sex in films, the video was spawned as a result of a comment made by the new TV show “Looking” starring, Jonathan Groff.

Jonathan Groff, one of the stars of HBO’s new show “Looking,” about a group of gay men living in San Francisco, recently told Out magazine, “I hope that our sex scenes are sexy — and I think that they are — but I think even more than that what we’re trying to display is a reality of gay sex as opposed to the salaciousness of gay sex.”

You can view a video here of sex in gay films. It’s supposedly NSFW, so you’ve been forewarned 🙂