Category: internal desires

Gay Male Secrets; Top Or Bottom Quiz; Internal Desires by Ryan Field

Gay Male Secrets

This article talks about assimilation, heteronormativity, and how with gaining more equality gay culture has shifted a little. But it also gets into a few secrets no one talks about much anymore. According to this article, secrets gay men don’t tell straight people. I’m not quite sure about all of them. But some are accurate.

Of course bottoming is number one on the list:

There, I said it. Bottoming is fucking great. Yes, it hurts every time. Yes it is sometimes messy (Santorum is just not a candidate in Iowa). But it is always fucking worth it. There are lots of guys who only like to bottom. There are lots of couples that are both bottoms and they take turns begrudingly topping. There are also lots of tops who only like to top. Topping is fun too. But if topping is like a merry-go-round, then bottoming is like the best fucking roller coaster you’ve ever been on in your life. The weird thing is “power bottom” isn’t just some stupid straight boy insult, the gays use it too. There’s some sort of shame about being a bottom, like it makes us less manly and that straight people won’t take us seriously. That is probably true, but those feelings are wrapped in all this heteronormative, patriarchal bullshit that straight society has thrust upon us, and we hate you for making us feel bad about something that is better than chasing a million dragons. And, yes, straight guys, let your lady stick a finger up there sometime, and you’ll know what I’m talking about. I promise not to make you feel like less of a man for it.

This is where I question a few things. I’m not saying it’s inaccurate; just a little one-sided. There is NO reason why bottoming should hurt EVERY single time if you know what you’re doing and you’re into the man you’re doing it with. That’s one of the biggest well-kept secrets: being into the top guy so much you can’t wait to do it. But I don’t disagree with the general point of this paragraph.

You can read the rest here. I found the one about gay men not liking drag queens as much as straight people like them interesting. I only like good drag. If it’s bad, I’m out the door.

Top Or Bottom Quiz

I have always found that some gay men aren’t exactly sure whether they are tops or bottoms. I know that sounds hard to believe, but it isn’t always in black and white. There are gray areas and I’m sure a lot of gay men would agree with me. This quiz is supposed to help gay men who are confused about this come to a conclusion. It’s also NSFW. You’ve been warned. I also add one more question from my personal experience.

Question number six is interesting:

Have you ever fingered yourself?

Yes, I liked it. (and still do it occasionally)
Yes, but I didn’t like it
No, but I really want to/ I know i will enjoy it.
The thought never even crossed my mind.  NO WAY

So is this one (I’m not posting the answers here):

Your mate and you are kissing and naked.  What happens next?

Frankly, I didn’t see the one question I think is most important. It’s also the simplest and the least vulgar. From my personal experience:

When you’re making out with a guy and still fully clothed, are you on your back and do your legs naturally spread and go up?

I’ve never seen it fail.

You can read more here and take the test.

Internal Desires
by Ryan Field
.99 Amazon E-book
Amazon Review:Ryan Filed knows how to write short stories that are hot. This was a quick read with steamy sex. Mr. Field impressed me with his “Chase of a Lifetime” series. I look forward to more books like that from him.

IKEA Bows to Russia; Obama Signs HOPE; FREE Gay Excerpt

IKEA Bows to Russia

Swedish furniture company, IKEA, had an article with a lesbian theme in their customer magazine. Because of Russia’s anti-gay propaganda law IKEA pulled the article from their Russian customer magazine because they want to remain neutral. The interesting thing is that IKEA has always targeted the gay dollar. I know they call it being “gay-friendly,” which I always find amusing, but IKEA’s bottom line rests on money and getting everyone they can to spend money at IKEA.

The chair of Swedish Federation for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Rights (RFSL) Ulrika Westerlund felt IKEA could have achieved more by standing their ground against potential penalization from Russia.

She said in a statement: ‘I find it disappointing that Ikea has simply laid down flat. ‘No one is really sure what “propaganda” is and if IKEA had left the article in, that could have served as a test case.’

Russian government officials maintain the new law is not anti-gay, as it only prohibits ‘homosexual propaganda’ to minors and not same-sex activity.

What bothers me most is that I’ve seen so many weak excuses about how important it is to follow the law. But we’re not talking about following laws that are fair and just. We’re talking about laws that violate human rights and an entire segment of the world’s population.

You can read more here.

Obama Signs HOPE

I didn’t know it wasn’t possible for one person who is HIV+ to receive an organ from another who is also HIV+.

‘Improving care for people living with HIV is critical to fighting the epidemic, and it’s a key goal of my National HIV/AIDS Strategy,’ Obama said in a statement. ‘The HOPE Act marks an important step in the right direction, and I thank Congress for their action.

You can read more here. This is something that won’t be mentioned in mainstream news because there are so many other things happening in Washington right now. But Obama continues to do these things without getting much recognition, and he continues to support equal rights. I’m not very political and I’m not a huge supporter of any politician, but I think he’ll go down on the right side of history. I just hope he gets that healthcare web site figured out.

FREE Gay Excerpt

This excerpt is from a more recent novella I published on my own titled, Internal Desires. This was also one of the few books I’ve had banned, and not because of content. Because of one or two words in the blurb that got caught in the crossfire of censorship and search engines. In this case, I get into the concept of rape culture. I don’t, and never have, glorified rape in the story…or any story. But I do mention rape culture from an academic POV and the search engines banned me for those words. So I’ve been wanting to post this excerpt for a while to show what I’m talking about. Readers can be the judges in this case.

This is a raw excerpt before final edits. Please take into consideration the final book has been well edited and I’m only posting this here because it’s easier to copy and paste from Word than a PDF file on google blogger. The book is on sale here for .99. It’s also at and other outlets where e-books are sold. It’s a gender-bending story where a young gay man who is not a transgender but likes a little feminine kink finds out how women are often treated by straight men.

He laughed and waved at the money. “Don’t worry about it, babe. This one’s on me. It’s not every day I get to wait on a sweet little thing like you. You doing anything later tonight.”

Although I wanted him to think I was a real woman, I didn’t know how to respond. “Well, I’m kind of busy. I’m meeting my boyfriend. But thanks anyway.” Then I tried to give him the money again.

This time he took my hand very gently and pushed it back into the car. He refused to take the money. “No problem. This one is still on me.” He stood up, tapped the hood twice, and said, “You have a good night, and stop back any time you want with those pretty legs. I work here every night of the week.”

His aggressive approach made me swallow hard and gulp. I knew I’d made a mistake and I shouldn’t have been sitting there with my legs open, but in the same respect I hadn’t given him any verbal signals to show I was interested in him. I glanced into his eyes, smiled, and said, “You have a good night, too.” Then I hit the gas and got out of there as fast as I could. I had a feeling he wanted to reach into the car and put his big greasy hand up my skirt.

As I pulled away, I heard him whistle and say, “Damn, bitches. Now that’s what I’m talking about.”

When I was back on the main road, my heart stopped racing and I felt more secure about going to the country western bar. It would be dark in the bar and so crowded I could blend in. And if I could pass that way all alone under the bright lights of a gas station, I knew I could pass anywhere. My only regret was that I hadn’t asked that horny guy to fill up my tank. If I’d known he wouldn’t charge me I would have kept my legs open longer. At the time, the full impact of his abusive gestures and comments had not registered with me. I wondered if this sort of thing happened often to good looking women in short skirts, because nothing like that had ever happened to me as a dude in jeans.

About twenty minutes later, I pulled into the parking lot of a western bar called, Cowboy’s Delight, and parked in a dark section in the back. Before I climbed out, I glanced into the rearview mirror and put on more pink frosted lip gloss. I checked my hair and made sure my breasts were even. I hadn’t worn a lot of make-up that night. I didn’t want to look like a drag queen or a hooker. And with the spray tan on my face I didn’t even need foundation or powder. All I needed was lip gloss, a little blush, eye-liner, and mascara. I’d added a little white frosted eye shadow for effect, but only enough to make my brow bones glimmer. I didn’t overdo anything. I wanted to look as natural as any other young woman in her early twenties.

When I climbed out of the car, I smoothed out my skirt and headed to the entrance of Cowboy’s Delight. I could hear the twang of a familiar country song coming from inside, and the muffled sounds of people talking over each other. This wasn’t one of those nightclubs where they charged a cover, and I walked in through the entrance behind two other young women as if we were all together. Most of the people were busy talking and they didn’t notice me, and the bar was dark once I was inside. I continued to follow the two women past groups of men and women of all ages until the women decided to turn to the right. When they turned, I went to the left and found an empty barstool in front of a long bar that was set off to the side of the main action. You could see the dance floor from there, but everyone at that bar seemed to be observing more than participating.

When I sat down on the barstool, this time I crossed my legs and made a mental note to keep my knees together. The bartender walked over and asked me what I wanted and I ordered a beer. I would have killed for a dirty martini, but I didn’t want to drink anything too strong. The thought of getting stopped by a cop on the way home for drunken driving sent a chill up my spine. I couldn’t even imagine the excuse I would have to conjure up if something like that happened. I would have to move out of town and never return. I could see the expression of shock on the face of Chief Ludlow, my dad’s best friend, when he discovered that I really wasn’t a woman.

After the first half hour, I felt more relaxed. The people around me continued on with their conversations, the bartender served his drinks, and the music continued to play. I didn’t mind being an observer and I had no ulterior motives. I saw a few good-looking girls in shorter, sexier skirts than mine and they were getting more attention than me. But I soon discovered I wasn’t invisible. A nice looking guy in his thirties walked up to me and put his hand on the back of my barstool as if he were claiming his territory. He seemed nervous; he spoke with a slight stutter. “You wouldn’t want to dance, would you?” he asked.

I didn’t really want to dance, but I felt so bad for him I nodded and said, “Yes, I’d love to dance.” They were playing a new song that had recently been released by Kenny Chesney. I liked the song, and I’d never actually danced with a guy before. I also would have felt terrible if I’d turned this poor guy down. He seemed so nice and kind, as if he’d mustered up every ounce of courage he had to ask me to dance. Up until then my experience with men in this regard had always been with polite, cautious gay men on the down low. I had no idea what I was in for with straight men. Let’s just say I gained a whole new sense of respect for straight women that night.

He helped me off the barstool and set his palm on the small of my back. It felt awkward at first, but I remained expressionless and let him make all the moves. He guided me to the dance floor and reached for my hand. He gently pulled me to the dance floor, and then he reached down and held my waist. I glanced around quickly and noticed the way everyone else was dancing. This was one of those slow songs and people were just standing in one place rocking back and forth. I lifted my arms like the woman beside me who was dancing with a guy and rested my hands behind my dance partner’s neck just like her. Then I rested my head against his chest just like her and we started rocking back and forth like everyone else. It felt unusual to be in his arms and I had a feeling I didn’t have much control anymore. I liked the way he smelled of aftershave, though. He had a trimmed, but slightly scruffy, beard and he reminded me of the actor, John Cusack. He was by no means male model material, but definitely a nice-looking guy in a sexy, masculine way.

We danced for a while in silence, and then he pulled me closer and said, “You’re very pretty. I’m Mickey.” His hands went lower and he rubbed the top of my buttocks in what I thought was a harmless way at first.

I ran the long pink fingernails across the back of his neck slowly and said, “I’m Randy.” I figured it’s a unisex name, and I wasn’t going to give him my last name. I’d never seen him before, and I doubted I’d see him again after that night.

“You’re a great dancer, Randy,” he said. “You’re very easy to move around. You’ve got great legs, too. You’re so damn hot.” His hands went lower and he patted my bottom a few times in a more aggressive way.

I didn’t know how to respond to him. And I didn’t scratch the back of his neck with my fingernails that time to encourage him. But I didn’t want to piss him off either, so I smiled and said, “That’s because you’re such a great dancer yourself, Mickey.” I figured if I was nice to him he would be nice to me.

But his hands only went lower and he continued to pat and rub my bottom without asking for permission. “I’ll bet you’re great in the sack.”

“I like this song,” I said. I wanted to change the subject and I wanted to stop dancing. As far as I knew the only thing I’d done to encourage him was touch his neck with my fingernails. I didn’t think that was an aggressive gesture.

He grabbed me harder and the back of my skirt went up a little. “You smell so pretty and soft.”

When the song ended, they started to play something faster. Mickey patted the small of my back and said, “Let’s go back to the bar and sit down. I don’t feel like dancing fast.” I noticed he’d stopped stuttering and he seemed less timid now.

I nodded yes and removed my arms from his shoulders, relieved to get off the dance floor. He took my hand and I followed him back to the barstool where he’d found me. There were all kinds of images running through my head by then. He thought I was a real woman and I knew this could get dangerous. He kept looking at my chest, my legs, and my lips as if he wanted to rip off my clothes and throw me down on the floor. I decided to be more aggressive myself, and to keep it as casual as possible at the same time. I figured that because I was pretending to be a woman, and he thought I was a woman, this would be simple enough to do. But boy did I get the surprise of my life.

When we reached the bar and I lifted my leg to climb up on the stool, he put his hand up my skirt and grabbed my ass without any warning whatsoever. This time it wasn’t in a playful way. I had a feeling he meant business. And when he realized I wasn’t wearing panties and I was only wearing a thong, he squeezed harder and said, “That’s hot, baby. No panties. I had a feeling you were a very dirty girl when I saw the way you were dressed.” He emphasized the word dirty.

I froze for a moment, and he continued to grope me. I wondered what had happened to that nice shy man who had been stuttering. I finally reached for his hand, pulled it out of my skirt, and sat down. In a playful way, I smacked his arm and said, “You be a good boy. I’m wearing a thong.”

He smiled and moved closer. He lowered his hand and grabbed my thigh. “Open those pretty legs for me. No one can see us. I know what girls like you want.” His hand started to slide up between my legs.

I removed his hand from my leg and smiled again. I wanted to keep this friendly. “I said be a good boy. I don’t even know you, Mickey.”

He ignored me and grabbed my leg again. His hand moved up, only inches from my penis…or what he thought was my vagina. “Let’s go outside. My truck isn’t far.”

“I think I have to go to the bathroom,” I said. “I’ll be right back.” It was the first excuse that popped into my head.

“I’ll come with you,” He said. “We can go to my truck after that and you can sit on my lap. I’d like to see that pretty thong up close.”

I took a deep breath and exhaled. “Mickey, you seem like a nice guy, but I’m really not interested in anything more than dancing tonight.” I figured I would be honest; he would be okay with this and he would appreciate my honesty.

He squeezed me leg harder and said, “I know what girls like you want. Don’t play innocent with me.”

I got a sick feeling in my stomach. I didn’t know how to handle him. No gay guy had ever treated me this way. I couldn’t be too aggressive because he would find out about me and that would have been disastrous. So I pushed him away gently and said, “I think I’m going to go home now.” I stuttered a little then.

“I’ve got something nice to show you,” he said. He refused to let me get up. “You know you want it. It’s nice and big. You wouldn’t be dressed that way if you didn’t want guys coming on to you. Let’s stop playing games, sweetie.”

What an asshole. The things he tried to do to me that night reminded me of a sociology elective I’d taken in community college that had focused on rape culture, where they blame the victim instead of the asshole douchebag who objectifies her. If I’d been a real woman I would have kicked him in the balls and started to scream. If I’d been in a gay bar and he’d been a gay man I would have hit him in the jaw. But I couldn’t take that chance dressed as a woman with all those people around me, so I continued to be nice and hope I could get through to him. “I’m really not playing games,” I said. “You seem like a nice guy, but I just want to sit here alone for a while. Thanks for the dance, seriously.”

“I know what a girl like you wants,” Mickey said.

“What do you mean, a girl like me?” I asked. “I didn’t say or do anything to lead you on.” My faced started to grow warm. I had a feeling he was about to cross the invisible line and I would have to do something to stop him.

As Mickey leaned forward this time, his hand went down between my legs again and someone behind him grabbed his arm. A deep voice said, “She’s not a girl. She’s a young woman. And she is trying to be nice you, buddy. Can’t you take a fucking hint? She’s not interested in you, dude. Now get lost.”

FREE Gay Romance: Internal Desires on

FREE Gay Romance: Internal Desires on

This past weekend I posted about my gay romance, Internal Desires, having issues with Amazon. And since the KDP select exclusive with Amazon recently expired around the same time, I decided to opt out of KDP select altogether put Internal Desires up on for free until Sunday night. I also wanted to do this for those who can’t attend the Gay Rom Lit conference in Atlanta this weekend because they have full time jobs, family obligations, or kids in school. Most of us don’t have the freedom to take off. So this is sort of a consolation prize you don’t have to do anything to receive, I’m not looking for anything in return, and it’s my way of saying thanks to the readers who are always there supporting me all year long.

I also think it’s really, REALLY important to support smaller retail web sites where e-books are sold, as well as supporting small publisher web sites where e-books are sold. I have personally been a customer of for years now, and I’ve never been disappointed with the customer service or the product. If you have never shopped at allromance before and you’re getting tired of the way larger retail web sites are treating you, here’s a chance to go over there and sign up now and get a book for free without having to enter any contests or sign up for any blog hops.

I’ll be distributing Internal Desires in as many places as I can, but it’s only free at ARe right now.

Here’s the link where you can get the e-book for free until Sunday night.

Aide Fired; Insinuates Corey Booker’s Gay; Amazon Ban Internal Desires

Aide Fired; Insinuates Cory Booker’s Gay

A media consultant for Steve Lonegan was fired recently for insinuating that Lonegan’s opponent, Cory Booker, is gay. I’ve been following this senate race in New Jersey for a while, and I’ve posted a few times about Corey Booker and the questions about his sexuality, including the publicity he received when he started tweeting a female stripper who refers to herself as “stripper model weirdo.” I know this sounds like junior high, but I swear I’m not making any of this up.

This is what the aide, Rick Sheftan, said:

“It’s the way he was talking to her,” said Shaftan explaining Booker’s responses to Lee’s tweets. “It’s just like there was no sexual interest at all. I don’t know. To me, if I was single and you know like some stripper was tweeting me, I might take advantage of the perks of the office, you know?”

Sheftan was fired that same day, and this is how Garden State Equality replied:

Others like Troy Stevenson of Garden State Equality found Shaftan’s comments “homophobic, misogynistic, and pornographic and a disgrace.” Stevenson said that Shaftan needs to apologize to Booker and the people of New Jersey.

Fact: Corey Booker claims he’s not gay. I personally don’t care about whether or not Corey Booker is gay. I only care about what kind of senator he’ll be. His sexuality is his business and I think that’s a private matter. But what I do take issue with is the fact that someone can get fired because they insinuated someone else is gay. In other words, why is it a crime to insinuate that someone is gay? Is there something wrong with being gay? Does Troy Stevenson of the Garden State Equality group think there’s something wrong with being gay, as if Corey Booker should be ashamed to be gay? Personally, I think Stevenson needs to apologize to the gay community. I find Troy Stevenson’s comment to be far more homophobic and gaycist than anything Sheftan said. It sends out all the wrong messages to gay youth, as if there is shame in being gay.

Amazon Ban Internal Desires

Yesterday I posted about an issue I’m having with Amazon for banning one of my books with gay content, Internal Desires. Since that time, I’ve contacted Amazon twice to ask why the book was banned because I can’t see any viable reason. It contains nothing that violates any guidelines. And now I’m wondering if Amazon is banning gay content. It’s been almost twenty-four hours and I have not received a reply from Amazon yet.

 All characters are of legal age, and I followed the standard guidelines all publishers follow with respect to content. The same guidelines I’ve been following for twenty years with all LGBT publishers.

For those who don’t know, almost all publishers follow a set of what is considered basic guidelines with regard to erotica and how far an author can go. Here’s one from Ravenous Romance that most publishers follow. You can’t do this:

Anything with pedophilia, which involves sexual situations between adults and children. We are not interested in “barely legal” situations, either.

Anything with necrophilia, which is sex with a truly dead body. If your vampires and zombies are having sex (with the living or each other), it better be lively.

Anything with bestiality, which is sex with animals. Sentient beings, including shapeshifters, centaurs, and the like must be adequately anthropomorphized.

Rape or incest. If it’s a necessary part of a story, its purpose should not be to arouse.

These are the same guidelines I have followed with my books for Ravenous Romance, and the same guidelines I have followed for over twenty years with other publishers. They are also the same guidelines I follow with my self-published books and stories.

So in order to prove this to readers, I’ll be putting Internal Desires, the book Amazon banned, up for free on this week. I’ll post more when it’s live on ARe.

Is Amazon Banning Gay Content Now?

Is Amazon Banning Gay Content Now?

I posted about an indie novella I published on Amazon a few months ago, here. It’s titled Internal Desires, it’s gay erotic romance, and it was set in the l960’s. Although this isn’t the first time I’ve had a book banned for tech reasons (search tags, etc…), it is the first time I’ve had a book banned for no specific reason. Below is the e-mail from Amazon, verbatim. As you can see from the cover image above, this doesn’t make sense, because if this is what’s considered going against their content guidelines we’re all in trouble. So this leads me to wonder if Amazon is banning gay content now. All characters are of legal age, and I followed the standard guidelines all publishers follow with respect to content. The same guidelines I’ve been following for twenty years with all LGBT publishers.

This particular book was part of the KDP Select program, where Amazon locks you in for three months. So I can’t give you any other links right now for Internal Desires. I was in favor of doing KDP Select at the time. It seemed like a good idea. But this is one more reason why I won’t be using KDP Select again. And I highly advise any other authors who are self-publishing to avoid this, too. When a book is banned this way (and that’s really what this is: book banning) and you haven’t distributed it to any other web sites where e-books are sold because you’re locked into an exclusive, you’re screwed. And, once again, this is also why authors should seriously start thinking about selling their own e-books on their own web sites like J.K. Rowling did with the Harry Potter e-book.

From my inbox:


During our review, we found that the following book(s) is in violation of our content guidelines (see list below for details):

Internal Desires (ASIN: B00DFB7UNQ) – Cover Image

If you wish, you may make changes to your book (images, title, description, and interior content) to comply with the KDP Content Guidelines and re-submit it for publishing.

You can find our content guidelines on the Kindle Direct Publishing website:

We’ve set your book to “Draft” status. Upon changing your content, please re-submit your book for publishing in order for your book to be made available for sale in the Kindle Store.

We appreciate your understanding.

Kindle Direct Publishing
I have contacted Amazon to see what’s up with this. I’ll post a follow up on this issue very soon, once it’s resolved. I truly hope it’s not because of gay content.

New Release Today: Internal Desires

I’m late to the blog today because it’s Sunday and I had like ten million things to do around the house I never get a chance to do during the week. I keep telling Tony that town house life is looking better and better to me these days.

In any event, my new novella Internal Desires is up on Amazon. You can check it out here at this link. It’s a .99 e-book and it’s part of the lending program KDP select. This means readers that are part of the lending program will get a chance to do this:

What is the Kindle Owners’ Lending Library?

With an Amazon Prime membership, Kindle owners can now choose from thousands of books to borrow for free once a month, with no due dates. For more info, click

This is the book description for Internal Desires:

When young Randy’s mom and dad leave the ranch in Montana for a week long road trip, he remains home alone because of a baseball game and his job as a part time cowboy on a dude ranch. But Randy really has plans that week to experiment with his secret internal desire. It’s something he’s kept hidden for years beneath his old baseball gloves and athletic cups, and something he’s never told anyone aloud.
After gathering up all the courage he can, he sets out for an epic night of adventure only to discover the darker side of his secret fantasy that includes a misogynist idiot at a country western bar and serious brand of rape culture he’s only studied about in community college. Randy panics and he isn’t sure what to do. But when the man of his dreams shows up and turns out to be his real life hero, Randy winds up discovering internal desires he didn’t even know he had


Internal Desires; Nude Channing Tatum; Jane Lynch Gay Divorce

Here’s my new book cover for the upcoming release, Internal Desires. This one is another indie, it’s a long short story that runs 13,000 words, and it will be a .99 e-book and I’ve opted into the kindle select program for the next three months. What that means is I will have a three month exclusive with Amazon because this is a lending program. I hate the exclusive as a writer, but I love the lending program as a reader, and if you don’t have a kindle app and you’re not part of the program as a reader you might want to check it out. Just a suggestion. I know everyone has an opinion about this.

In any event, here’s the book description…it’s LGBT new adult:

When young Randy’s mom and dad leave the ranch in Montana for a week long road trip, he remains home alone because of a baseball game and his job as a part time cowboy on a dude ranch. But Randy really has plans that week to experiment with his secret internal desire. It’s something he’s kept hidden for years beneath his old baseball gloves and athletic cups, and something he’s never told anyone aloud.

After gathering up all the courage he can, he sets out for an epic night of adventure only to discover the darker side of his secret fantasy that includes a misogynist idiot at a country western bar and serious brand of rape culture he’s only studied about in community college. Randy panics and he isn’t sure what to do. But when the man of his dreams shows up and turns out to be his real life hero, Randy winds up discovering internal desires he didn’t even know he had. 
Nude Channing Tatum
From the Oh No They Didn’t blog, here’s an article about Channing Tatum. If you scroll down to the bottom of the post you’ll find an excellent, artistic portrait of Channing Tatum in the nude. The article gets into an experience a guy once had with Tatum.
Back in 1998, I was spending the summer in the dorm at Glenville State College to help with the student newspaper. I met a football player who was there for summer practice. His name was Chan Tatum, and I paid him $30 to pose for my wallpaper site.

I decided to Google his name, and I found out he’s now a famous model. I’ve drooled over his professional work for years and somehow never connected the dots to realize it was him. The closest I got was thinking the actor driving the car in the Mountain Dew commercial seemed familiar.

In retrospect, his shock that I could sell photos of him seems really really funny.

Read more at ONTD:

Jane Lynch Divorce
I’ve been meaning to write a long post on gay divorce for a long time, but it’s tricky to do because from a legal standpoint there is no such thing in most states because gay marriage isn’t legal. This post about Jane Lynch getting divorced made me think about a few things I’ve seen in the past with other gay couples I’ve known. I would assume Lynch and her wife will have to follow the divorce laws in MA because marriage is legal there. But not all gay couples have that right now.
Glee star Jane Lynch has announced that she and her wife of three years, Lara Embry, are getting divorced. The couple, who were married in Western Massachusetts, met at a fundraiser in 2009. “I thought she was cute,” Embry told People magazine when she and Lynch married.
I wish I could say that all gay marriages last forever and end in HEA. But the fact is that just like straight couples, gay couples get divorced, too.
The only big difference is that straight couples who get divorced have legal rights. Gay couples in most states don’t, so they have to work it out alone. And sometimes that can get very messy…or be very unfair. I’ve seen it happen more than once.  

Emile Hirsch Full Frontal Nudity; Full Frontal Japan; Free Excerpt Internal Desires

It’s Friday and I like to keep it lighter on weekends, so here are a few more links about full frontal nudity in films and some info on actor Emile Hirsch’s full frontal nudity. I’ve been focusing on this for a variety of reasons, one of which has to do with the double standards in the movie industry between men and women.

This article/post talks about Emile Hirsch where he discusses doing nude scenes in films.

He needn’t worry. Hirsch may have played a horndog teen in love with a porn star in The Girl Next Door, but after his career-making turn as Christopher McCandleless in Sean Penn’s recent Into the Wild, no one is going to mistake this twenty-two-year-old actor for a celebutante.

This web site actually has full frontal nude photos of Emile Hirsch.

I’m sure you remember Emile Hirsch from his impishly sexy turn as Cleve Jones in last years’ MILK, and the angelic Zachary Booth played an openly gay teenager on the N’s WHAT GOES ON.

Under Creative Commons License: Attribution Non-Commercial No Derivatives

I love these “read more at” articles, as if I’m not going to link to them and I’m going to steal their precious, brilliant content and make millions of dollars. Get real. You’re screwing up my blog posts and I’m going to link to you anyway. It’s not as if I can hide anything online.

In any event, small rant over and you can click the link above to read more. As a side note, if you get a chance to see the film “Killer Joe,” you’ll see how well Hirsch can act. He’s not just another pretty face.

Full Frontal in Japan

A web site called Naver Matome from Japan recently started to catalogue a list of male full frontal nudes scenes in films. I found this on Rocket News24, a clever web site I always enjoy. I’m also curious about this because I have a following of readers in Japan and I’m curious about what interests people all over the world.

With summer, the season of blockbusters, it can be hard choosing a film to watch. Perhaps you want to base your movie selection on the appearance of a guy’s junk on screen. Whether you’re looking to catch or avoid some, penises are popping up in comedies like Forgetting Sarah Marshal, super hero flicks such as Watchmen, and sports movies such as Any Given Sunday at an ever increasing rate.

You can read more here. It’s very entertaining. This is how they will be classifying penis, and those who own one.

Penis Owner: Kevin Bacon
Penis Gauge: 5
Blurring: Yes

Free Excerpt: Internal Desires

I have a new indie book coming out soon on Amazon titled, Internal Desires. I’m opting into the lending program this time, which means the book will be only offered at Amazon for three months. It will also be a .99 e-book. I’ve posted my thoughts about this before, both good and bad, and I like to experiment all the time. I honestly never know what to predict and experimenting is the only way to figure out what readers want most.

This is a short story/novella that’s almost 13,000 words. I use the term short story loosely because I come from the school of thought where short stories are usually shorter than 7,000 words. I know there’s debate on that. I’m only going by what I’ve been doing for publishers for many years.

Here’s a short excerpt, in raw version without final edits:

One warm Thursday morning a few years ago I helped my mom and dad pack their new pick-up truck at six o’clock, with suitcases they’d bought for their twenty-fifth anniversary cruise, a silver and white gift-wrapped box that held a crystal bowl, and the blue and white insulted cooler my mom had always used for picnics and family road trips.

            Then I kissed them goodbye, watched them climb into the cab, and stood in the driveway next to the back door in my bare feet. I’d just crawled out of bed and I was only wearing dark blue basketball shorts that went below my knees. My short dark hair was sticking up and my eyes still hadn’t fully adjusted to the bright Montana sunshine. As I watched them pull out of the driveway and disappear down the long gravel road that would lead them to the main road, I waved until I couldn’t see the taillights anymore.

            I went back into the house and up to my bedroom. I fell into bed face down and went back to sleep. My folks were going to a wedding in South Dakota for a second cousin I’d only met twice in my lifetime…once at my grandfather’s funeral and another time at a family reunion in West Yellowstone. They’d wanted me to come along with them but I’d backed out with what I thought were two excellent excuses: I had to be home for the last baseball game in a league I’d been part of since high school, and I had to help break in a new horse at the dude ranch where I worked part time.

            Both excuses, however, could have been avoided and I could have gone to the wedding with them if I’d really wanted to go. The baseball league I’d been playing with since high school had lost every single game that season and the final game on that second Saturday in July didn’t even matter. We were only going through the motions by then and I didn’t need to be there. But more than that, I’d already decided I would not go back and play with them after this season ended.

            That same summer I’d graduated from community college and I was planning to attend a four year college in the fall. And the excuse about breaking in the horse was almost as lame as the baseball excuse. I’d been working part time as a cowboy at a dude ranch since I’d graduated from high school and the horses weren’t exactly bucking bronco rodeo material, if you catch my drift. They were old and tired, weak and friendly. They were bought and maintained to entertain overweight tourists from all over the country who wanted to experience the Wild West in Montana in a gentle, inauthentic way. The horse I told my mom and dad I had to help break in was so mild and so even-tempered he ate right out of my hand.

            The truth is I didn’t want to go to the wedding. My mom and dad rarely travel. They never even leave the property. They had me later in life and they’re both retired now. So I’d never actually been all alone in the house. I’d been too young to leave alone when they’d gone on the twenty-fifth anniversary cruise and I’d gone to stay with my grandmother. I knew it would take them two days to get to their destination, they would be there for two days, and then it would take two more days for them to return. I wanted to take advantage of being home all alone for almost a week. And even though I gave them lame excuses, I did have an excellent reason for not wanting to go with them.  

            When I finally did climb out of bed that Thursday I checked my phone to see if my mom and dad had left any text messages. We’d already agreed that texting would be the best way to communicate while they were gone. They knew I couldn’t talk long if I was working at the dude ranch, and I had a bad reputation when it came to answering the phone. But I never missed a text and they knew it. If it hadn’t been for me I don’t think they ever would have bothered to learn how to text message anyone. They were in their early sixties and none of their friends texted.

            I glanced at my phone and saw one incoming message. I tapped the screen and read it aloud. “Just checking in to see how you are, sweetie. Your dad doesn’t like stopping for restrooms, but other than that we’re fine. Keep in touch. Love, Mom.”

            I replied the same way I usually reply to them. “K.” 

            I smiled when I set the phone down on my computer desk, relieved that I’d decided not to join them. My dad was the type who liked to keep driving until he needed to stop for gas. My mom was the type who needed to pee every twenty miles. I’ll never forget the last road trip I took with them to West Yellowstone. My dad actually threatened to get an empty mayonnaise jar at one point so my mom could pee in that instead of stopping every half hour. You can imagine the look she sent him.

            After I showered, I went down to the living room stark naked and turned on the TV. I felt so free and adult because I’d never walked around naked that way in the house before. I didn’t have to work that day and I knew all my friends were busy. I wanted to rest up, too. I had big plans for that night, something a little outrageous and possibly dangerous. I wanted to do something I’d never done before and I was so nervous about it I could hardly concentrate on the movie I was watching. I couldn’t even eat. I wound up falling asleep on the sofa sometime around five in the afternoon out of sheer frustration. When I opened my eyes and glanced at the time on the cable box under the TV it was almost seven-thirty.

            I went into the kitchen, ate a candy bar, and gulped a can of diet soda. My mom had left prepared meals on the freezer with little notes on them, but I didn’t want to eat anything too heavy that night. Then I went back up to my bedroom and checked my messages again. My mom had left another text that read, “We’re stopping for the night. Your dad’s legs are getting stiff. Hope all is well. Love Mom.” It was only about a twelve hour drive from Great Falls, Montana to Hot Springs, South Dakota. But I knew my dad couldn’t deal with more than six hours in the car at a time. I also knew that with all that stopping and going along the way thanks to my mom’s bladder, not to mention an hour to stop for lunch, a six hour drive with them could turn into eight or nine hours.

             I replied with, “It’s all good here. Love, Randy.” I added the love part because I knew my mom would like it.