hitting on people at weddings

Horny Guy Wedding Theory Proves True Once Again

I’ve always had this theory that some people tend to get horny at weddings, gay or straight weddings. I don’t. But weddings seem to make some people crazy. And from my own personal experience, I have never been to a wedding yet where some guy didn’t hit on me. Sometimes it’s subtle, sometimes not. And it’s usually a straight guy who came to the wedding with his wife.

Tony and I were invited to several weddings this fall. Yesterday we went to one in Philadelphia for a straight couple, and for both it was a second wedding. It wasn’t a huge wedding, but it was large enough to have a wedding party that followed most of the traditional wedding protocol. The bride wore a nice white dress, but no veil. She kept it simple and tasteful and the ceremony was short and sweet. Kudos to her!

I even posted about going to the wedding on facebook and made a joke about Tony and I doing a slow dance at the reception just to see how many people we could shock. This was a family wedding…my side…and everyone knows we’re gay and have been together for twenty years so it probably wouldn’t have been a total shock. However, we tend to play it down when we’re in public and surrounded by people who are mostly straight. I think most gay couples do this. And to be honest, if I were straight I wouldn’t be the type to be hanging all over my wife in public. I don’t need to prove anything to anyone.

This wedding we went to yesterday reminded me of one I went to in Connecticut about six years ago. Tony didn’t come to that wedding because he was away on business. The wedding in Connecticut was also family (cousins) and at those weddings we all tend to run into people we only see at weddings and funerals. At that particular wedding the groom’s brother, who also happened to be the best man, hit on me so often I wound up leaving early because it started to get creepy (and I was bored to death because I was alone). I hadn’t seen this guy in years and I thought he was just being friendly at first. He was a nice looking guy, a cop in his early thirties. But he was also there with his pregnant wife. I can be a little dumb that way sometimes. It takes a while for things like that to sink in. That time I realized what was happening when he offered to get me a drink and then slapped me on the butt.

And something similar to this happened again yesterday, and this time I was there with Tony. One of the groom’s friends, there with his wife, seemed overly friendly at first. I didn’t give it a second thought because I’ve seen this guy at various family oriented events for the past fifteen years. He’s also a cop, about forty years old, and nice looking in a Ben Affleck way.

This was an interesting wedding because the bride and groom are both recovered alcoholics…kudos to them again…and there was no alcohol. To be honest, I have never been to a wedding without booze. This was novelty for me and many of the other guests. Though I’m not what you would call a heavy drinker, I do like a martini or two when I’m out at a social event. At one point, during the middle of the reception, I was standing next to the good looking married cop and made a comment that I would have killed for a drink. He agreed, laughed, and I forgot all about it.

But fifteen minutes later he showed up with two martini’s and gave one to me. He said he’d found a bar in the hotel and they’d allowed him to carry the drinks back to the room where the reception was. The reason I didn’t get my own drink at the bar was because I could have lived without it and didn’t want to insult the bride and groom. But when he set it down in front of me, I thanked him and I drank it. I think Tony was with my sister at another table during all this, so he had no idea what was going on.

Twenty minutes later, the cop brings me another martini, and this time when he handed it to me he put his arm around me and gave me a hug for no apparent reason. At that point I knew what was happening. I’d been through it before at weddings enough to know better. So I thanked him once again, and then I tried to stay as far away from him as I could for the rest of the evening.

When he brought me the third drink, he asked me if I wanted to go out to the parking lot to see his new car. I thanked him once again for the drink, and told him I was having a problem with my back and I didn’t feel like walking outside in the cold rain. He wasn’t creepy or anything. Actually, he was very subtle about it and didn’t do or say anything dumb or offensive. But he didn’t stop flirting and hitting on me until the end of the wedding.

I told Tony about it in the car on the way home and he laughed and said, “It’s because you have that dumb blond look.” We’ve never been the jealous types with each other, and at this point we trust each other completely. So we had a good laugh about it.

But I couldn’t help wondering if other people get horny at weddings, or if other people experience what I did yesterday. As I said, I don’t find weddings sexy at all. I don’t fully understand why these people get horny at weddings either. To me weddings are serious events that mark milestones in our lives. But after reading this article, I’m starting to think I’m in the minority. It’s older, but it still says basically the same thing I’m saying in this post: some people get horny at weddings.

I love to go to weddings because they make my husband super horny. Not sure if it’s the pretty bridal wear, bridesmaids, etc. Whenever we get home or back to our hotel he immediately wants to make torrid love. He also has frequent fantasies of having sex with a woman in a wedding dress. I’m thinking of picking one up just to help him live out his fantasy. In the past I’ve met him at the door in a veil, white stockings and pumps.

Do others (guys or gals) have this feeling about weddings?

The comment thread is very entertaining, and it backs up my theory about people getting horny at weddings. I think the next time I’m going to be on guard and prepared for anything.