Category: He’s Not Gay

He’s NOT Gay,Again; In Love With Straight Best Friend; Leelah Alcorn’s Mom Speaks

He’s NOT Gay

Frankly, the only reason I’m posting about this debacle is to show how there are still people out there who find shame in being referred to as gay. You can call these blithering idiots anything from vapid douche-bags to brainless buffoons,  but don’t call them gay. It pisses me off. In this case it’s an actor, Sahil Kha, who is mixed up in some kind of trashy litigation no one cares about with his former female business partner and the female business partner is telling everyone he’s gay. She needs a kick in the ass, too. He’s claiming he had an affair with this woman and he has photos to prove it.

Khan however is claiming that she spent the money on him as they were having an affair. 

‘Ayesha has said so many things about me – that I am gay and that we did not have physical relations – and she has left me no choice but to take all these things to the public,’ Khan was quoted as saying in the Times of India. 

Ayesha told Mid-day, ‘There cannot be any personal pictures for the simple reason that there was never a personal relationship. I think his ex-wife was the best person to clarify that.’ 

Khan’s former wife Negar reportedly said in an interview in July 2005 that she caught her former husband in a ‘compromising position with a man’ in Bangkok when she returned early from her film-shoot.

Whether he’s gay or not isn’t the issue as far as I’m concerned. It’s the strong denial that he’s NOT gay that bothers me the most. Once again, there’s nothing wrong with being gay and why this even comes up makes me want to punch something.

You can read the rest here in more detail. I didn’t really care about the facts in this case. I just wanted to show another example of people who think there’s something wrong with being gay.

In Love With Straight Best Friend

I think this is something that’s been happening since the beginning of time…a gay man falling in love with his straight best friend. In the past this has always been unrequited love, never to be mentioned aloud. In almost all cases the straight friend never even knew it was happening. Evidently, things are changing to a certain degree.

Star-crossed love is one thing, but falling for someone who isn’t interested in romance with your entire gender is an impossible hurdle to jump. And it’s sadly all too often a scenario when gay guys fall for their straight best friends.

Things get confusing, and fast. The male bonding that the straight friend enjoys so much can easily turn into butterflies in the stomach for the gay friend, always wondering if the friendly affection might one day mean more.

They list fifteen anonymous comments on the topic from people who have experienced this first hand. You can read them here. 

At least we’re talking about it now, and without shame.

Leelah Alcorn’s Mom Speaks

Leelah Alcorn is the transgender teen who recently died after writing an online suicide note. She was run over by a tractor-trailer and police are investigating this as a suicide. In the note she left she went into detail about how hard it was to deal with her parents and her sexual identity. This is really one of the saddest stories I’ve heard in a long time.

This is part of what she wrote:

 ‘The only way I will rest in peace is if one day transgender people aren’t treated the way I was, they’re treated like humans, with valid feelings and human rights. Gender needs to be taught about in schools, the earlier the better. 

 ‘My death needs to mean something. My death needs to be counted in the number of transgender people who commit suicide this year. I want someone to look at that number and say “that’s fucked up” and fix it. Fix society. Please.’

This has been so compelling and has had such a strong reaction from so many people Leelah’s mom is now speaking out…in a lame attempt to defend herself.

‘We don’t support that, religiously … But we told him that we loved him unconditionally. We loved him no matter what. I loved my son. People need to know that I loved him. He was a good kid, a good boy.’ 

Carla Alcorn says her child came to her only once to talk to her about being transgender, and that she had never asked to be called Leelah. She says the first time she heard the name Leelah was when she read the suicide note. 

She said that she knew her child was depressed, and had seen counselors and a psychiatrist, who had prescribed Leelah medication, but after that time, ‘He just quit talking about it [being transgender]’. 

This conflicts with Leelah’s suicide note, which paints a picture of a trans teenager who had been at odds with her parents for some time over her desire to transition. 

It has also emerged that Leelah posted a message on Reddit two months ago in which she also talked about wanting to see a gender therapist but was instead sent by her parents to see Christian therapists who she felt didn’t understand her. 

She ended that note by saying: ‘Please help me, I don’t know what I should do and I can’t take much more of this.’ 

I don’t doubt for one instant that Leeah’s parents loved her. Of course they did, but with conditions. I think it’s significant to notice that in her mom’s statements her mom never once uses “she” as a pronoun. It’s always “he.” That tells me everything I need to know in only one word.

You can read the rest here.  

Chase of a Holy Ghost

New York Sex Club; Big Brother 13 HIV; Mark Ruffalo Stand on Gay Marriage; But He’s Not Gay He’s Really a Straight Guy

New York Sex Club

From what I gather, there’s a sex club in New York’s financial district that isn’t gay this time. It’s being dubbed as a “swingers” club, where I’m assuming they party and swap and do all sorts of other things. But the neighbors aren’t too thrilled with them. Unfortunately, the neighbors hear all kinds of noises that drive them to virtual distraction. So far, the police haven’t been able to nail them on much because the swingers all hopping, swapping, and singing for free.

Here are some of the more entertaining comments from the article.

This is an office building. We saw them move eight mattresses up there! That was horrendous.”


“If they can go that long, God bless them, but we shouldn’t have to hear it,” one tenant complained.

This one I didn’t even know existed…sexy karaoke.

“They often will do sexy karaoke, so you can hear that quite clearly through the wall.”

You can read more here. There’s a photo of the building and if you’re even remotely familiar with Manhattan real estate you can see these are not poor swingers.

I just thought I’d post and sensationalize about straight people having hot, dirty, sleazy erroneous sex for a change.

Big Brother 13 HIV

In the past I’ve posted about racism, gay hate, homophobia, and even gay baiting on Big Brother. Now Dick Donato, a former houseguest on Big Brother, Season 8, recently disclosed that he was asked to leave the Big Brother house during season 13 early because he’s HIV positive.

I remember season 13 on Big Brother very well. Yes, I watch each year. I’ll admit that. Dick, better known as “Evel Dick,” won the half million dollar grand prize during season 8, and he was asked back to the game during season 13, with his daughter, to play again. During that season, I remember being stunned that he disappeared completely from the show. And as I recall the only mention was that something family related had happened and he had to leave for personal reasons. We all knew there was more to THAT story.

Here’s what Evel Dick has to say about it now in People Magazine:

Donato was competing on season 13 of Big Brother when producers called him into the house’s Diary Room. “They told me that something was wrong with my blood test,” he says. “They had done two HIV tests. One had come back positive and the other had come back negative.” The show’s doctor took more blood. Two hours later, Donato learned the life-changing news. “When they told me, I just went numb,” he says. With little explanation, Donato left the show.” They had a car take me from CBS to my mother’s house. She was the first person I told.”

Donato is now speaking up because he’s trying to help break the stigma associated with HIV.

You can read the rest here. I have so many mixed emotions on this topic I’d rather not even get into them because I don’t think we’re getting the full story here.

Mark Ruffalo Stand on Gay Marriage

When I posted about The Normal Heart, I thought Mark Ruffalo took the film and ran with it. It’s not always the case when an actor owns his character the way Ruffalo did. And now he’s taking a public stand against Brazilian President, Marina Silva, because of her stand against gay marriage.

It all happened, once again, on Twitter. The interesting thing is the way Silva replied to him.

‘I cannot, in good conscience, support a candidate who takes a hard right approach to issues such as gay marriage and reproductive rights, even if that candidate is willing to do the right thing on environmental issues,’  he said.

‘I have fought for marriage equality in my country and see it as a reflection of the quality of a candidate.’

In response to Ruffalo, Silva posted on her Twitter account that she supports ‘gay civil marriage and expresses this in her government program.’

You can read the rest here. It’s unclear to me what “civil marriage” is considered in Brazil. It is more like domestic partnership? I have a feeling from the comment thread it’s more like civil unions. Not good. It’s also pointed out in the comments that some people are not fond of the term “gay marriage.” I only use it because people recognize that, and so do search engines. Search engines are important to anyone blogging these days. I prefer marriage equality.

But He’s Not Gay He’s Really Straight

This is one of those articles that make bloggers blink when they first see them. A guy named Michael Hoffman claims he’s humiliated. Why you ask? Because a few gay jack off videos of him recently surfaced and he’s not sure he wanted that to happen.

‘Hi guys, it’s Michael Hoffman,’ he says. ‘Most of you know me by now. I just want to say I know there are videos going around of me. I wanted to say a few things. I’m not gay. Those videos I can understand making me look that way – and I respect gay people completely – but I’m not gay, I’m straight.’

Hoffman explained why he made the videos: ‘I need the money, plain and simple. I made over $10,000 selling those videos.’

There’s more here, and it only devolves from where I left off. Why you ask again? Because he’s not only humiliated for doing jack off videos, he also humiliated and very defensive about being thought of as gay. (It’s okay that you’re gay, but make it clear that I’m not.) And that’s the real insult to all gay people everywhere. The shame he feels is the same shame they’ve made us live with all our lives.

I wish these straight guys would just get a clue for once. He could have handled this so differently and no one would have cared. What he should really be humiliated about is coming off so homophobic.

If you don’t really get that, try thinking about it this way. A gay guy has photos of himself published and makes long, detailed explanations that he’s NOT straight. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever heard a gay person do that. …”Yeah, those nude photos are me, but I’m not straight. Get that. Don’t give me weird looks. There’s nothing wrong with straight people. But I’m not one of them.”

I hope you get the point, because, you know, I’m not straight either. There’s nothing wrong with those straights. But I’m not one of them.

Glendora Hill: Too Hard to Handle

by Ryan Field

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