Category: Grindr

Mexican Football Officials: Anti-Gay Chants NOT Insulting; WeHo Mayor, Grindr, and Meth; Watch Adele with Gay Dads and Baby;

Mexican Football Officials: Anti-Gay Chants NOT Insulting

Over the years, I’ve posted about all these anti-gay slurs that always tend to happen at professional sports events, and this time it’s interesting because Mexican Football Officials seem to have a defense. The obligatory apology isn’t being offered this time.  

While you might have been wounded by homophobic jeers at soccer games, sports officials have determined they are “not insulting,” so you no longer have to be offended. What a relief!

This comes after Mexican fans shouted slurs during a game in September against Honduras. FIFA, which regulates professional soccer, issued a fine of around $30,000 to the Mexican football organization, which they are now appealing.

You can read more about this here. They claim the word “puto” means coward and it’s not an anti-gay slur. It should be interesting to see how this turns out. I don’t really know enough about the language to comment on this one, but I do speak book Italian and I know that things often get lost in translation.

WeHo Mayor, Grindr, and Meth

With absolutely no knowledge of Grindr or meth, this article is surprising for people like me…those of us who don’t do illegal drugs and aren’t familiar with that kind of lifestyle. I never realized people were doing this on hook up apps. Evidently, it’s a serious issue that needs to be addressed.

Okay, Grindr, we need to have an intervention. The West Hollywood based app is coming under fire for facilitating drug sales, and now city officials are demanding a meeting with the CEO.

More here

Watch Adele with Gay Dads and Baby

This is the kind of thing I love to see. I think it shows something positive for a change, and I think it’s the future for many gay men. It brings people together.

Some stories have all the elements: a gay couple, a little baby, and Adele taking a break from belting out “Hello” in order to cuddle with said baby.

You can check that out here, and watch the video

 HUGE thanks to everyone who helped get “Uncertainty” a star.

Judge Judy on Grindr; 35 Worst Sex Acts; Instagram Homophobia? Small Town Romance Writer by Ryan Field

Judge Judy on Grindr

Judge Judith Sheindlin  recently found out what gay hook up site, Grindr, is all about through an episode of her courtroom TV show, Judge Judy.  She was in the middle of a dispute between a 47 year old man and his 23 year old “friend” when she found out they’d met on Grindr. Her comments, as always, are classic.

‘Um, we met on a, um … social website,’ Murphy explained. ‘It’s actually called Grindr. … It’s an app for your phone or your iPad. It’s a social app that tells you where homosexual males are and their proximity to where you are.’

The judge then asked: ‘Mr. Murphy, so, what you’re telling me, sir, is you went on this website in order to find someone who had the same sexual predisposition you did?’

Murphy then tried to say this with a straight face: ‘Um, no, actually, it was just to make friends.’

The always blunt judge replied: ‘If I was looking just to make friends, I wouldn’t go on a website that said it’s just for little, old Jewish ladies. I would try to expand my horizons a little bit, do you understand, Mr. Murphy?’

It gets better. Judge Judy told the older guy he should be with someone closer to his own age…”at least out of school.” Ha!! There’s usually only one reason why a 23 year old is with a 47 year old and friendship has nothing to do with it.

You can read more here. This is why I have a DVR alert for Judge Judy running twenty-four hours. The thing that always amazes me is that there are people so willing and eager to get in TV they’ll do anything, even if it involves a certain amount of public humiliation.

35 Worst Sex Acts

Here’s a harsh little piece that seems to criticize the sex acts on the TV show, Californication, starring David DuchovnyBrian Feldman calls it soft core porn.  I’m not sure why Feldman feels he is qualified to judge what porn actually is, but that’s another post. What does bother me is that we always hear from the “I hate sex crowd” but you never hear anyone say there wasn’t enough sex in a TV show, book, or film. Just the big mouth “I hate sex crowd.”

In any event:

Last night, Showtime’s Californication rode off into the sunset after seven long seasons. It should surprise nobody that a show called Californication spent much of its time contriving embarrassing sex acts for its characters to perform. What resulted was basically 84 episodes of soft-core porn masquerading as premium cable drama. Thanks, Showtime! Here are 35 of the worst sexual encounters or mishaps that David Duchovny’s Hank Moody, Evan Handler’s Charlie, and the Californication crew participated in.

Here are a few examples:

  • Hank pukes on a valuable painting while having sex with someone.
  • Charlie masturbates in his office, repeatedly and vigorously …
  • … Videos of Charlie repeatedly and vigorously masturbating in his office get him fired.
  • Charlie gets his nipple torn off by a sex toy.
  • Hank and Charlie have a threesome with a boxing trainer, during which she squirts on Charlie’s face just as both of Hank and Charlie’s significant others walk into the room.
  • There are more here. I thought the show was done well and I always like to remind people they don’t have to watch or read anything with too many sex scenes if they don’t want to. You can always knit a sweater instead…or read something by Brian Feldman. 

    Instragram Homophobia?

    This article is interesting because I’ve seen the same thing happen with other social media and I’m not sure it’s a matter of homophobia. I’m not sure it isn’t either. I just think most social media outlets seriously need to rethink their actions in the mad rush to tear people down without even giving them the benefit of the doubt. Facebook is the biggest culprit of all time. If someone posts gay content and someone else doesn’t like that gay content by the person who made the post can be reported and his or her account can be suspended. In this case, a photo of a newly married gay couple was taken down on Instagram without even sending out a take down notice…or checking the facts correctly.

    This is the kiss that sealed their wedding vows. Vows that under state and federal protection offer them 1500 rights and responsibilities. ‘@instagram we expect an apology for taking this pic down and flagging it as inappropriate.

    PLEASE REPOST PLEASE REPOST PLEASE REPOST!’ Instagram has apologized for the mistake, and restored the photo. ‘When our team processes reports from other members of the Instagram community, we occasionally make a mistake,’ an Instagram spokesperson told The Huffington Post.

     ‘In this case, we wrongly removed content and rectified the error as soon as we were notified. We apologize for any inconvenience.’

    You can read more about how all this transpired here. But I think the point of all this is that social media outlets should have a better control with regard to what is and is not considered harmful content. This photo of two married men is about as harmless as it gets. In the same respect, I have seen some images on Instagram that leave a great deal to be desired. A few are taken down, but no one rushes to do that.

    Small Town Romance Writer

    Here’s a preview of another upcoming book, Small Town Romance Writer. It’s part of the bad boy billionaire series, and this one is longer than my other books. It runs about 110,000 words, which is over twice the required word count in my contracts, but it just couldn’t be helped this time. I actually edited it down from over 150,000 words. I’ll post more tomorrow. There’s a blog hop post I’m doing for the 4th of July on my first gay experience and I’m going to tie this in somehow.



    Unhung Hero Patrick Moote; Million Moms Freak; Grindr Dating; Hillary Snaps on Gay Issue

    Unhung Hero Patrick Moote

    Here’s an interview I found with Patrick Moote, the star and creator of the film, Unhung Hero. I reviewed UH here, and thought it was a nice film. The only thing that bothered me was that we saw no male full frontal nudity in a film that was all about a man’s penis.

    Seriously. If the film had been about the guy’s small feet wouldn’t they have shown a few shots of his feet? Again, I like the film and I would recommend it to anyone, but it was hard not to get frustrated because Patrick Moote is so adorable.

    Even Michael Moore liked the film.

    This is from the interview to which I’m linking:

    Uncertain what the future holds for Patrick and his smaller size pal, he is hoping this film will spark discussion, not just about dick size but about anything else that we’re uncomfortable with ourselves.

    “By me talking about the things that I’m insecure about, I kind of have diffused them as things that could potentially hurt me. Yes, that’s me and if you don’t like it, jog on. I want people to talk about all the things they’re insecure about it. Go down the list and if there are things you can fix then fix them. If there are things you can’t fix, you don’t have the time or energy to put into them. You’ll still be insecure about it but don’t let it dictate your behavior and your personality and the way you interact with the world.”

    You can read more here about Unhung Hero, and my review with the link above goes into more detail about this as a “cockumentary.” I also suggest doing a simple google search for photos of Patrick Moote. There are no full frontal shots of his penis, but there are a few photos that are worth viewing.

    Million Moms Freak

    Sometimes it feels like we’re living back in the I Love Lucy 1950’s where Lucy and Ricky weren’t allowed to be shown sleeping in the same bed thanks to overzealous censors. And they weren’t doing anything but sleeping. Yet they still had to show twin beds so the million mom types wouldn’t freak out the way these new generation million mom gay haters are freaking out now. There’s an ad for Hot Wire featuring gay dads and these moms are going BERserk.

    Consumers should be aware of the offensive ad because there are many other travel sites to choose from if parents are warned about this indecent ad,” officials for the right-wing group, which is a division of the American Family Association, write on their website. “The commercial is about a couple going away for their anniversary while the grandparents take care of their kid for the night. But while one partner is dreaming of sleep and says, ‘It’s all about sleep,’ the other partner says disappointedly, ‘Not all about sleep!'”

    They don’t think Hot Wire should be discussing what anyone does in bed, especially two men. They are worried about their children seeing this. You know, those little darlings who know more now at 10 years old than I knew at 20. Mostly, these million moms go after gay content.

    You can read more here, where there’s a link to the full million mom gay hate rant.

    I actually don’t think this sort of thing is going to end until their sons eventually tell them they are gay, or someone else shocks the hell out of them more than the Hot Wire commercial. Which is one more reason why all gay men coming out is so important. I know it can’t be rushed. But it is important. It’s the only way we’re ever going to shut these gay hating women up. And in my lifetime I’ve seen a lot, but never anything as vindictive as a woman who hates gay men.

    Grindr Dating

    This is important to read for gay men who are out there hooking up on web sites like Grindr. There was a study done that says certain STIs are more common among gay men who use these web sites. They found no connection to HIV in this case. But even still, who wants all those other ugly messy things?

    Compared with men who met partners online or in person, men who used social apps had 25 percent greater odds of being infected with gonorrhea and 37 percent greater odds of being infected with chlamydia, the study found. However, there seemed to be no difference between the groups when it came to syphilis or HIV infection.
    “As technology has benefits, it also has certain risks,” said Matt Beymer, the lead researcher and an epidemiologist at the Los Angeles LGBT Center. “We want to educate gay and bisexual men about the potential risks that they may face with these apps.”

    Not to mention murder, robbery, beatings, and rape. I’ve posted about that before here.

    You can read more here. Never assume anything. Dating with apps these days is like driving a car. Be defensive.

    I would, however, like to know the statistics about straight people using the straight hook up apps, too. From what I hear STIs like herpes run rampant in the straight community and it’s a well kept secret. In other words, I don’t think this STI deal is isolated to gay men and apps only.

    Hillary Snaps on Gay Issue

    Secretary Clinton had a classic “Hillary” exchange with NPR host, Terry Gross. When Gross tried to goad her into stating her opinions on gay marriage had changed over the years because of political reasons instead of personal reasons Clinton responded with the kind of reply I think we need to hear more often from our political leaders.

    “You know, I really — I have to say, I think you being very persistent, but you are playing with my words,” Clinton said several minutes into the conversation. “And playing with what is such an important issue.”

    “I’m just trying to clarify so I can understand,” Gross said, but was then interrupted by Clinton.

    “No, I don’t think you are trying to clarify. I think you are trying to say that I used to be opposed [to gay marriage], and now I am in favor, and I did it for political reasons. And that’s just flat wrong. So let me just state what I feel like you are implying and repudiate it. I have a strong record. I have a great commitment to this issue and I am proud of what I’ve done and the progress we’re making,” Clinton said.

    There’s more here. You can also listen to the interview. They get into more detail about DOMA and how things were in 1993.

    Gay Grindr Murder/Rape; Yelp Review Controversy; Penis to Rooster Leash

    Gay Grindr Murder/Rape

    I posted about a young man from Canada who was raped and robbed in the Philadelphia area a few weeks ago after he hooked up with someone through Grindr  and now there are two more incidents in the Philadelphia area to report that are even more frightening. This time an adorable, talented young guy was murdered, and a public prosecutor was arrested for allegedly raping a sixteen year old boy…all allegedly through Grindr.

    Here’s the incident that involved the murder:

    It was awful. I don’t think there are any words that could actually describe what I felt or even my family,” Dino’s sister Una Dizdarevic said.

    Dizdarevic, who lived on North 13th Street in Spring Garden, disappeared Wednesday.

    On Friday, his body was discovered with blunt force trauma to the head on Parker Street near 9th Street in Chester.

    His sister, Una, came in from their home state of Kentucky.

    “He would just light the entire room up itself. He was so intelligent and so many people cared about him,” Una said.

    Police sources say it appears Dizdarevic met up with someone on the social app, Grindr.

    You can read more here. Chester, PA, where the body was found, is about a twenty minute drive south on I95 from center city Philadelphia where the victim lived. It’s also one of the most dangerous places in the Philadelphia area.

    And this next piece about the male public prosecutor allegedly raping a sixteen year old boy he met through Grindr happened in the Wilmington, DE area, not far from Philadelphia.

    New Castle County police say 34-year-old Daniel Simmons faces four counts of fourth-degree rape. Simmons is a deputy attorney general assigned to the county’s Misdemeanor Trial Unit.

    Police say Simmons met the boy through a social media app called Grindr and not during the performance of his public duties.

    The attorney general’s office says in a statement that Simmons has been placed on administrative leave. The office approved warrants for Simmons’ arrest on Friday. Attorney General Beau Biden did not make any comments.

    You can read more here. For those who don’t know, good old Beau Biden is the son of our esteemed smiling Vice-President, Joe Biden. I don’t know if that statement about this creep meeting the kid through Grindr instead of while on duty is supposed to make this better somehow, and frankly I don’t even know why they would make that comment. It makes no sense. But then good old Beau wouldn’t want to be associated with something like this.

    In any event, you guys who are out there working the net with Grindr and other hook up sites like it should really pay attention to things like this. We’re living in a very dangerous world now and the Internet is the old wild west where anything that can happen will happen. Don’t assume anything. And never trust anyone you meet online. You just can’t be too careful. All that hope and change and happy dance stuff you’ve been hearing about online is not going to help you out when you meet up with a sociopath who doesn’t care whether you live or die.

    Yelp Review Controversy

    I’m not linking now because I’m too lazy, but I have posted about Yelp reviews several times, with respect to fraud and fakery and all kinds of gaming. But this is the first time I’ve seen something like this in public. Business owners are now claiming that if they don’t pay Yelp to advertise on a monthly basis their reviews dip from five star to one star, and it hurts their businesses tremendously.

    “We do get a lot of traffic from out-of-towners,” Bevilacqua said.

    Bevilacqua says a big part of his business was driven by positive online reviews – that is, until last year.

    “I went from being 4.5 stars to 1 star,” Bevilacqua said.

    Multiple glowing reviews on his profile were suddenly hidden, filtered in a hard-to-find section Yelp says are “not recommended” The reason, Bevilacqua believes, is he turned down advertising pitched to him by a telephone salesman from Yelp.

    “It was a lot of money; it was like over $300 a month just to do advertising,” Bevilacqua said.

    Brian Dunn from Dunn and Danese Insurance in Drexel Hill has also been battling with Yelp after he stumbled across a negative review, the only one on his site from a disgruntled customer.

    None of this surprises me. I once had a bad experience at this shop, in Doylestown, PA, and I left several reviews in several different places letting people know just how bad the experience was. One of the places where I left my review was Yelp and they didn’t even put it up. At the time, this led me to believe that the business was paying Yelp to advertise and to balance reviews in their favor and I stopped leaving reviews on Yelp altogether after that.

    So I guess it works both ways, and just like on Amazon or any other place where reviews are being left you can’t trust a thing anymore. I know I’ll never bother wasting my time with Yelp after my own personal experiences there as a consumer. But I would like to know where the FTC is?

    Don’t. Trust. Any. Online. Reviews. Anywhere. People who are in business for themselves and who aren’t getting a weekly paycheck depend on a certain amount of business in order to survive. They aren’t getting government handouts. They are working seven days a week in most cases to survive. It’s the same thing with authors and career writers. And I know that I wouldn’t want to be responsible for hurting someone’s income because of a corrupt review system. It’s bad luck to hurt people that way. It’s bad karma. You could wind up going broke yourselves, or you might even drop dead the next day. Karma works.

    Penis to Rooster Leash

    A performer was recently found guilty of exhibitionism in Paris because he did something that involved hooking a leash to his penis, and then hooking the leash to a rooster. Doesn’t that sound artistic?

    South African born performance artist Steven Cohen has been found guilty by a Paris court over a September 2013 public performance in which he danced in platform shoes in the shadow of the Eiffel Tower with a rooster tied to his penis by a leash.

    The 51-year-old Artist danced for around 10 minutes before being arrested by police but maintains the performance was not intended in any way to be sexual.

    You can read more here. There’s a photo of him in a headdress, but nothing with the penis tied to a cock. The comment thread seems to think he’s either an idiot or unhinged. You know how I’m always talking about those gays on the fringes getting the loudest voices, and how they often make the rest of us look bad, well this guy is the perfect example.

    Breaking Stereotypes: Gay Boxing; Grindr, Rape, Philly;

    Breaking Stereotypes: Gay Boxing

    There’s a new boxing club in New York breaking old stereotypes called Velvet Gloves where gay men can work out in a very different way now, and meet people in the process. Here’s an interview with Vance Garrett, the guy who started the club.

    I’ve wanted to do something with and for my group of friends outside of the typical scene for a long time. All of us have been to the parties and clubs, and that can be great, but I think we collectively have wanted something else to do that’s fun — but won’t leave you with a hangover — and fits with our current lifestyles. Working out and wellness in general is important to many of them, and while conditioning for boxing requires being in the best shape possible, I don’t think many would want to step into a traditional boxing gym. Also, boxing has always been a tough man’s sport. It has been marketed as gruesome and intimidating yet it is one of the most beautiful sports to watch. The athletes are as graceful as dancers. It allows you to develop self-defense skills, builds confidence, and is physically AND mentally challenging. So I wanted a club that was tailored just for them-for fun, social guys who want the best workout possible in the best environment possible.

    You can read more here. I would join. I jog four or five miles every morning because health clubs annoy me. I’m out to work out, not socialize. I don’t have time. But I’ve never been to a club where I don’t wind up either ducking behind something to avoid someone, or stuck in conversation for at least twenty minutes. Velvet gloves looks like serious working out.

    And for those of you who think this is something new. It’s not. Gay men come in all sizes, shapes, and varieties…not just what you’ve seen on Sex in the City.

    I’ve actually incorporated a gay boxer character in one of my books, The Actor Learning to Love. It’s a recent novel in the Bad Boy Billionaire series.

    Grindr, Rape, Philly

    I actually saw this on my local news the other night and was surprised I didn’t see it anywhere online. It took a while, but I spotted it this morning and thought I’d post about it for those of you take chances with web sites like Grindr or Craigslist. A man from Canada who was visiting Philly decided to hook up on Grindr and got more than he bargained for. He was held up at gunpoint, and sexually assaulted.

    It didn’t end there. The men then walked together about 15 blocks through the city, with the victim being forced to purchase Visa gift cards and make ATM withdrawals totaling $3,000. Finally, inside a busy bar at 20th and Walnut, surveillance cameras captured the struggle between the two men as the victim escaped.

    You can read more here.

    I also saw that an Allentown, PA man was murdered while trying to sell his car on Craigslist last week. The guy met a potential buyer from Philadelphia at his place of business, and then he was shot to death and the car was stolen. I get my tenants through Craigslist, and I actually sold my Jag through them recently, too. However, you don’t know what screening is until you’ve contacted me through Craigslist. I turn down far more people than I accept because they did something offhanded during the e-mail process. A huge red flag for me is when someone wants to meet too soon, or call too soon. It’s e-mail and only e-mail in the beginning. Those who are serious don’t mind that. Those who are up to no good, back off. The back and forth e-mail process for me when looking for a tenant or selling anything on CL takes at least a week. And even then I always meet at a very busy, crowded public place for the first time.

    You just can’t take anything for granted, especially if you’re visiting a rough, vicious city like Philadelphia. Those of you who live in different places don’t always realize how we live here, and what we have to deal with. All of your worst fears about cities like Philadelphia are most likely true. All of the worst things you’ve heard are probably true, and even worse now because most have never recovered from the economic depression. Don’t trust anyone, especially from an online hook up.

    Penis Politics; 1-800-Flowers, Rush Limbaugh; Huge Tech Firms Ruling Us

    Penis Politics

    This article to which I’m linking talks about the way some gay men tend to exaggerate when it comes to penis size. And, how studies have shown penis size has a direct correlation to capitalism and money. It also discusses Grindr and how it’s hard to depend on anything at a glance, so to speak. But most of all, it talks about the unrealistic expectations most gay men have when it comes to penis politics.

    Instead of holding out for an unrealistic fantasy, Justin Huang believes gay men should start embracing each other for exactly who they are. “Gay men need to stop expecting each other to be porn stars,” Huang said. “If you dump a guy just because of his penis size, you are an asshole. So if you love your man, tell him that you like his penis. After all, when you’re dating a guy, you’re dating two people: You’re dating him and you’re dating his penis. We need to start valuing and appreciating both of them.”

    What Huang says makes perfect sense, and for the most part I think this is something gay men learn as they grow and mature. In other words, after you’ve gone through enough bad partners because of your unrealistic expectations (and judgments) there comes a time in life when you start to realize you have to stop thinking that way. It happens to most of us under the age of thirty. My grandmother, in her blunt way, used to have an old saying about this: if you want to live happily ever after you’d better lower your God damn standards or you’re going to wind up old and alone.

    You can read more about penis politics here.

    1-800-Flowers, Rush Limbaugh

    I guess you can’t be too careful about anything these days. Last week I ordered a flower arrangement for Valentine’s Day from to be delivered to my mom from Tony and me. I’ve used them before, most recently in December for two gay friends…a couple who’ve been together for over thirty years…who got married in New Jersey. When my mom got the arrangement she sent me an e-photo and I posted that on Facebook with a comment about One of my FB friends saw it an commented that 1-800-Flowers is a major advertiser for none other than anti-gay Rush Limbaugh.

    I did a simple search and found this:

    On the eve of Valentine’s Day, this is to remind consumers, that after spotlighting these three Limbaugh sponsors last week, they have all chosen to ignore the thousands of requests to move their ads from just one show. They have opted to support his racism, sexism, bigotry, gay-hating and smut for the chance to make a few more dollars. In the end, they lose.

    One of the three sponsors is 1-800-Flowers.

    Then I found this:

    Many of you may be contemplating ordering flowers for Valentine’s Day, and I wanted to remind you that when you place an order with 1800Flowers you are helping to support Rush Limbaugh.
    Help spread the word and buy your flowers elsewhere.

    I only wish I’d known before I placed the order. There are plenty of  supportive florists right here in Bucks County, PA I would have used had I known 1-800-Flowers supports anti-gay pundits. And while I have no issue with Limbaugh or 1-800-Flowers exercising their right to free speech, I personally will never support 1-800-Flowers again in response to their free speech. I think I have a right to free speech, too, last I heard.

    I’m not a huge fan of boycotts. I’m not sure they work and they aren’t always productive. However, in this case, knowing how Rush Limbaugh takes advantage of his platform to sensationalize and spread hate for money (because he knows he can), it would be counter-productive to support any business affiliated with the likes of Rush Limbaugh. And for the record, I’m not a huge fan of any pundits or circus clowns. I’m not even fond of Rachel Maddow. They will do anything for money, and unlike prostitution what they do is legal.

    Stay away from 1-800-Flowers and pundits making millions of dollars at our expense.

     Huge Tech Firms Ruling Us

    This next article talks about how large tech companies like Apple, Amazon, and Google are continuously branching out into new fields and slowly taking control of everything in sight. It’s reaching a point where it’s getting harder for smaller companies to compete.

    Increasingly, American technology is dominated by a handful of companies allied to a small but powerful group of investors and serial entrepreneurs. These firms and individuals certainly compete but largely only with other members of their elite club. And while top executives and investors move from one firm to another, the big companies have constrained competition for those below the executive tier with gentleman’s agreements not to recruit each other’s top employees.

    This is a long and in-depth article that covers a lot of ground, from the way Amazon is getting into space travel, to the way our geographical power centers like NY and LA have shifted to places like Silicon Valley, to how journalism and news is changing almost daily.

    While there is no way to stop this kind of progress, I don’t always understand why consumers are so faithful to some of these companies. It’s just as easy to order from a smaller online business as it is from a mega tech firm. Maybe it’s time for a consumer watch for all purchases online, where there are guides and examples to show consumers they are NOT at the mercy of these big companies and the more they fuel them the harder it’s going to be for smaller online retailers.

    You can rad more here.