Category: gay tops and bottoms

What If There Were No More Gay Tops and Bottoms? 95 A Year Old Comes Out As Gay

What If There Were No More Gay Tops and Bottoms?

When I write fiction I like to think about the world with a “what if” thought process. In other words, I could write about characters in a world where being a top and bottom meant nothing at all to gay men. I could create two gay male characters who fall in love, and they’re both bottoms. It’s fiction. I could make it work, but I’m not sure anyone would believe it. However that’s not even something I would do with fiction, because it’s just NOT believable. Actually, I find it absurd to even think this way because it’s a passive aggressive insult to gay culture as I’ve always known it.

With that said, here’s an article that explores the possibility of a world where there are no tops or bottoms.

Baker goes on to say that when it comes to dating and sexual role preference, which partner is penetrated or and which does the penetrating “surely just depends” on the situation and the people involved.

If he believes this is possible, I wish him well.

You can read more of this nonsense here. 

The comments seem to agree with me.

95 Year Old Comes Out As Gay

I’m watching the Netflix show right now titled, Sense8. There’s a storyline in the show where a gay film star can’t come to terms with coming out of the closet. And it shows his pain well. It shows the lengths he will go to so no one ever finds out he’s gay.

This film star it just like millions of other men, and sometimes it really does take this long to come out.

On the other hand, Roman’s story is also deeply emotional and, at times, quite difficult. At some level, it’s the story of lost opportunities. You can’t help but wonder, had the circumstances been different, how Roman’s story could have ended differently. And you also feel for Roman’s wife. While they undoubtedly loved each other in a deep way, both Roman and his wife deserve passion and sexual intimacy. Did they have that despite Roman being gay? I don’t know.

You can read it in full here. Unfortunately, I see it all the time, even in publishing. But I don’t think anything is harder on a gay man than having a large public profile and living a complete lie, I can’t even imagine what kind of vapid life that is. I can imagine it on a smaller scale, and I never judge that. We can all blend in if we live quiet modest lives. It’s not easy, but it’s doable. But to be in the public eye daily, and lie with that kind of magnitude, just passes me by completely.

New Release


Free Gay Excerpt: Valley of the Dudes by Ryan Field; Jonathan Groff and Russell Tovey On Coming Out; Gay Tops and Bottoms, Again

Jonathan Groff and Russell Tovey On Coming Out

Here’s a piece about Jonathan Groff and Russell Tovey talking about how their careers improved after they came out as gay.

So, in a time when homophobia in the entertainment industry may not be so overt but still commonplace, Jonathan Groff and Russell Tovey should consider themselves #blessed. The stars of HBO’s Looking: The Movie, which premieres on Saturday, told Queerty that they have not had any personal experiences with homophobia in Hollywood (at least that they’re aware of). In fact, Groff and Tovey both agreed that their careers only got brighter after coming out, even if they have not ascended to the Hollywood A-list as of yet. A sentiment that has been echoed by Quinto. It’s ironic then that the actors in Looking, one of the bluest shows (both literally and figuratively), are the ones comforting us – that being a famous gay man is not always so tragic.

There’s more here.  I still think a lot of actors remain in the closet for valid, solid reasons. It’s the same for gay men in almost every single profession out there. I’m not advocating that by any means, but I don’t judge it either.

Gay Tops and Bottoms, Again

The queer presses never seem to get enough of this topic. Here’s another one of those stories about gay tops and bottoms that most definitely will not change your life, however, it’s interesting in a general, glib IDGF kind of way.  

“In my experience the ratio is about 2:1 with bottoms in the lead,” one person says.

How exactly does he know this?

“Go look at sex ads in various cities,” he explains. “I know in most of the CA Bay Area, you’ll actually find a ratio more like 3:1. Up where I live now it’s closer to 4:1.”

Four bottoms for every one top? Sounds exhausting.

The odd thing is that there is a little truth to all of this. You can check it out here

Free Gay Excerpt Valley of the Dudes by Ryan Field

Here’s another excerpt from Valley of the Dudes. I had to censor this one a little for google blogger, but the uncensored book is up for sale at all the links below. It’s been re-released as a gay parody this year by Riverdale Avenue Books to coincide with the 50th Anniversary of Valley of the Dolls. I’ve posted a lot about it in the past week, from the press release to the new introduction I added to the book, which you can check out here. 


On Saturday night, Rush and Lance went to the talent show in the local high school gymnasium. Rush hesitated about going, but he’d promised his aunt he’d do her this favor before she’d left for Florida. The talent show was being held to raise money for college scholarships, and the knitting circle his mother and aunt belonged to was sponsoring the event. There was a bake sale afterward, which meant Rush had to bring two cakes: one on behalf of his aunt, and one on behalf of his late mother. And his aunt had left explicit instructions on the kinds of cakes she wanted him to bring: two white coconut layer cakes. She told him, with a stern voice, people depended on those cakes.

Rush felt awkward about asking Lance to go to a small town talent show. Lance was a well known entertainment attorney and talent agent all over the world. So Rush figured he’d make the cakes, deliver them on behalf of his mother and his aunt, and then he and Lance would spend a quiet evening together roasting chestnuts in front of the fire.

 But when Lance saw him making the cakes, he sat down at the kitchen table and asked, “What are you doing? I had no idea you knew how to cook.”

Rush measured out two cups of sugar and poured them into a bowl with room temperature butter. He thought Lance was still up in his bed napping. After they’d had sex that morning, they’d both gone back to bed. Rush smiled and said, “I don’t really know how to cook. I know how to bake. There’s a difference.”

 Lance folded his arms across his chest and said, “I didn’t know there was a difference.” 

“There’s a huge difference,” Rush said, switching on the mixing machine. “Some people can do both, but mostly you’re either a great baker or a great cook. I’m neither, but I know how to bake. “

Lance noticed four layer cake pans on the counter. “Why are you baking all this right now?”

Rush smiled and told him about the talent show and the bake sale. He assured Lance he wasn’t going to ask him to go. He’d just drop the cakes off, make an appearance for the sake of his aunt, and then come right back home.

Lance rubbed his jaw and frowned. “Are you embarrassed to be seen with me?”

Rush dropped a wooden spoon and said, “Of course not. I’m proud to be seen with you. I just didn’t think you’d be interested in going to a small town talent show. You’re a huge agent from New York. I don’t want to bore you to death with something like this.”

“There’s something about me you don’t know,” Lance said. “First, I’m not a snob. I’d love to go. Second, I’m also an amateur musician and singer. I’ve written a few of my own songs, and trust me, I am an amateur. So I won’t be judging anyone else.”

Rush smiled and shook his head. He had no idea Lance was a musician. Evidently, there was a lot about Lance Sharp he still didn’t know. “Well then, we’ll go. I’m sure the women in the knitting circle will love you.”

At 7:00, they arrived at the high school gymnasium with two fresh coconut layer cakes on cardboard rounds covered with pink cellophane. Though Rush hadn’t baked anything in a long time, he was proud of what he’d accomplished that afternoon. The cakes looked very professional.

They set the cakes down on a folding table covered with a pink paper tablecloth and Rush introduced Lance to the women in the knitting circle. Lance smiled and flirted with them, while they blushed and batted their eyelids. And the talent show wasn’t half bad either. It turned out to be a karaoke show, and some of the local singers had decent voices. One older guy sang a great version of Fly Me to the Moon. At the end of the show, when the announcer asked if anyone else would like to perform a karaoke song, Lance stood up and raised his hand. They were sitting in the back row. As Lance stepped out of the aisle and crossed toward the stage, Rush pressed his palm to his throat and stared in amazement. He watched Lance choose a specific song. And when the music began to play and Lance started singing a slow, romantic version of his song, Rush sat back in his seat and smiled. Lance had a deep, smooth voice. His pitch was excellent and he didn’t miss a lyric or a note. By the time he was finished singing, the entire room was standing and applauding him.

On the way home, the weather changed. The wind had increased and the heavy old car rocked back and forth. But Rush was a good driver and he knew the roads well. He laughed and said, “I had no idea you were that good. You could have been a performer instead of an entertainment attorney.” And he wasn’t just saying this because Lance was his lover and he wanted to boost his ego. He meant every word.

Lance shrugged. “I’m okay,” he said. “But I don’t have what it takes to make million dollar records. I know who I am. I’m much better at what I do. But I do enjoy writing music. One of these days I just might try to get one of my own songs published. I’d love to see Cody record it, too.”

Rush nodded. He watched a heavy branch snap from a tree and fly across the road. He was about to say something about Cody and Roy, but he gripped the wheel, hit the breaks and the car swerved to the right. Before he came to a full stop, there was a thump on the front bumper.

Who Has the Most Tops…and Bottoms?

I don’t know any gay men who aren’t at least slightly interested in this topic. You won’t hear it on TV discussed much. But I can’t be certain because I haven’t seen many of the TV shows like Modern Family. Maybe they do discuss it. I remember innuendos from Will & Grace that made me laugh. Maybe it’s there and I’ve missed it.

But it is discussed within the gay community, especially between gay men. And someone’s written a book about it for gay men who travel. Here’s the link, and the article is below. I know I’m curious to see what it says.

And there are other links on the post, so there’s even more detail.

Book Review: The Gay Travel Guide for Tops and Bottoms

The Gay Travel Guide For Tops And Bottoms (ISBN 978-0-9869297-8-6) by Drew Blancs has set the record for new release sales at Icon Empire Press. The tongue in cheek look at gay travel based upon the sexual performance of the locals is a unique approach in travel review books. The research is done by two promiscuous gay male travelers (one exclusively top gay male and one exclusively bottom gay male).

The idea was created by Drew Blancs who became tired of the complaints of his top and bottom friends of their lack of finding compatible sex partners. ” I wrote this book so that gay men can set out and find the city the fits them best and yes, that pun was intended” says Drew Blancs, a frequent Los Angeles blogger and now first time author.

The book took over five years to complete due to the travel schedules of the two featured travelers. As the two narrators visit each country, they rated the local top or bottom gay men by sexual performance with up to a 5 point rating system. The book was able to determine which country had the best top and the best bottom gay male locals.