Gay stereotypes

Benham Brothers On "Daddy" Issues; Is Model Austin Armacost Really Asexual? Shouty Billy Eichner In Your Face

Benham Brothers On “Daddy” Issues

Here we go again with the Benham brothers, those allegedly conservative twins who seem to enjoy speculating on gay men and gay culture…without knowing anything about gay men. It gives them a platform and exposure they normally wouldn’t get otherwise.

The twinsies appeared on Liberty Counsel’s “Faith and Freedom” radio show this week to talk about their favorite topic ever: Gay people! And the deep-seated daddy issues that drive them to seek comfort in the arms of other menfolk.

Someone should tell them about all the straight women I see tweeting about “daddies.”

You can read the rest here. Of course I’m only speculating now, but I wonder if there’s more to these two than what we can see on the surface.

Is Model Austin Armacost Really Asexual?

Maybe I’m wrong about this, but model Austin Armacost recently told the world he’s asexual and his story doesn’t quite match up to what I’ve posted about asexuality in the past.

Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction to anyone, or low or absent interest in or desire for sexual activity. It may be considered the lack of a sexual orientation, or one of the variations thereof, alongside heterosexuality, homosexuality and bisexuality. It may also be an umbrella term used to categorize a broader spectrum of various asexual sub-identities. A study in 2004 placed the prevalence of asexuality at 1% in the British population.

And this is what Armacost says…

Model Austin Armacost, who is currently appearing on “Celebrity Big Brother” and split with husband Jake Lees last year, has revealed that he is asexual.

He told show business reporter Andy West that he is a “very asexual” person, reports The Sun.

“I am probably in all honesty the least sexual person you will ever meet,” he said. “As much as I love getting my kit off and showing my bum everywhere, I am like a nun in bed.”

You can read the rest here. Armacost seems like a nice buy, and I’ll admit I’m not an authority on asexuality, but I do try to learn more about it whenever I get the chance. To me it sounds as if he’s telling everyone he’s not promiscuous and doesn’t have sex often, which I think is totally different from asexuality. But again, I could be wrong. Maybe what he’s talking about is just another degree of asexual?

The comments are not going to help you figure this one out. In fact, don’t bother to read them at all. I think the only people who would know for certain are people who identify as asexual.

Shouty Billy Eichner In Your Face

Sometimes I think it’s important to explain that not all gay men are the same. They don’t think the same way, they don’t act the same way, and they don’t react the same way. I also think talking about it helps break down some of the stereotypes about gay men.

With that said, I would have to restrain myself from throat punching Billy Eichner if he walked up to me on the street and did something like this…

Teaming up with James Corden, Eichner terrorizes unsuspecting New York bystanders — tickling, chastising, and congaing them into dazed, delirious submission, armed with only a Deadpool mask and a handful of maracas.

There’s more here, with an obnoxious video of Eichner. But it takes place in LA, not in NY as the article states. And I could only watch the first few minutes of this display of idiocy without gagging.

 New Release

Imperfect

Taiwan Gay Marriage; Sam Smith Ends Twitter Break; The Carrie Bradshaw "masc4masc" Meme

Taiwan Gay Marriage

It looks as if Taiwan is moving closer toward legalized gay marriage.

A Taiwan legislative committee approved preliminary amendment to the Civil Code that could lead to the legalization of same-sex marriage.

Different versions of an amendment to the Civil Code were carefully reviewed on Monday and includes rights and duties that will involve same-sex couples.

There’s more here. There have been polls taken, but frankly after the most recent polls in the US general election I’m having a hard time trusting polls now…and the media.

I think it’s interesting to see how the process works in other countries.

Sam Smith Ends Twitter Break

For those who’ve never been on Twitter, you can probably skip this. Twitter isn’t always simple, sometimes it’s downright mean, and you have to know how it works to fully understand everything that happens there. I’ve been there since the very beginning, back when most people were literally posting about what they had for lunch. Because what else could one post about in 140 characters? But since that time Tweeting has become something much more involved…for the most part.

In any event, Sam Smith took a Twitter break, which isn’t all that uncommon for people on Twitter to do. I’ve taken breaks over the years, too. Some people just stop altogether, which is called Twittercide. I knew one guy once who was a stock broker and his place of work made him stop tweeting sarcasm. Another one I knew left because of her Twitter Crush, some DMs, and a string of bad dick pics. And then there are those who are the grandest of us all who keep their tweets protected and hidden. I know a few book reviewers who do THAT. They are the special, elite snowflakes of Twitter, and their tweets don’t stink.

But I digress. Sam Smith came back for a reason this time.

George Michael’s death has brought Sam Smith out of his self-imposed break from social media.

The Grammy and Oscar winning singer and songwriter took to Twitter early Monday (26 December) to pay tribute to Michael who died unexpectedly over the weekend at the age of 53.

‘Words can’t express how much you and your music meant and means to me,’ Smith wrote.

It is the first tweet from Smith since the 12 June shooting massacre at the Orlando gay nightclub Pulse that left 49 people dead.

You can check that out here.

The Carrie Bradshaw “masc4masc” Meme

On hook up apps gay men often describe themselves as either “masc” or “fem.” I’m not drawing any conclusions with this one, but, coincidentally, I am making this a focus in my next book. In my book I’m more focused on tearing down the stereotypes. At least I hope that’s what I’m doing.

In any event, now there’s a meme circulating with a photo of Carrie Bradshaw working on her laptop, questioning the whole “masculine” thing in general.

Masc4masc? We think not. With fewer and fewer gay men feeling comfortable identifying as either “masc” or “fem,” the general consensus these days seems to be that the whole “masc4masc” thing is an outdated expression from the gay hookup culture of yesterday. Yet you still see plenty of guys writing it on their Grindr profiles. Why is that?

Here’s the rest. The comments aren’t kind to the article.

But I do think it’s a valid topic that leaves room for an open debate. The stereotypes that often accompany “masc” and “fem” don’t always fall neatly into place, especially not for gay men. And for those of you who think this is a gay male thing, it’s not. There’s plenty of this kind of thing with gay women, too.

It’s also not easy to write about this in fiction. And I’m either going to sink or swim with this one, but I’ve always wanted to tackle this debate, with characters in a book, and I’m ready to take the proverbial hits.

Valley of the Dudes




Stepbrothers In the Attic by Ryan Field

Boy Meets Boy Romance; Alex Minsky Strips; Addicted to YAS

Boy Meets Boy Romance

Here’s something you don’t see often. A romance story line about bisexual guys.

It often seems that nuanced explorations of bisexuality on screen are few and far between. The new romantic drama, In the Grayscale has been getting attention for its even-handed and thoughtful treatment of sexual self-discovery.

You can view a clip here. 

I’ll look for it on NetFlix. But you should read the comments. I think in cases like this it shows how gay men feel about film content with respect to what they’re getting…or nor getting.

Alex Minsky Strips

I haven’t posted about Alex Minsky in a while, but I think this will make up for it. He did a calendar for 2016 you’ll want to check out.

If there is a better way to kick off the ever-closer new year than with these stunning photos of tattooed veteran-turned-insanely good-looking model Alex Minsky, we’d love to hear about it.

Definitely check this out here. 

The photos have that artistic quality you don’t see all the time. In some cases possibly a little too “artistic” (there’s a fine line between real art and faux high school art), but they’re still good anyway. 

Side Note: You can follow Minsky on Instagram and he’s really very good with his fandom.

Addicted to YAS

For the record, I don’t dislike all gay stereotypes. I think some are endearing, some can be adorable, and some can depict gay culture as it is. In other words, it’s always been my own personal opinion that some stereotypes…in any culture…don’t make that much of a difference and people tend to take them too seriously sometimes. I know people will disagree with me, so I make it clear that’s my own personal opinion and I’m not advocating any negative stereotypes.

With that said, I think this guy is adorable. He’s talking about his addiction to saying “yaaaas” instead of “yes.” And he does it in a video in a very adorable way.  Yeah, I’m a huge sucker for this kind of adorable. I would definitely drink his Kool Aide.

It starts innocently enough.

Sharp new fade? Yaas.

That amazing Halloween look last weekend? Yaass!

An upcoming vacation to Mexico? YAASS Mama!!

But yaass has a dark, ugly side (besides just being annoying when used to react to any and all life situations). And nobody’s talking about it.

You can watch the video here and see for yourselves. 

So far there aren’t any comments.

Fangsters: Book 2

Gang Bang Fangsters

 
 

Bush Supporting Gay Marriage; Lesbian Love Story At Cannes; Jane Fonda’s Gaydar Off with Warren Beatty

Bush Supporting Gay Marriage

This really shouldn’t come a a huge shock to anyone, and it’s not really all that political anymore. Former President George W. Bush didn’t support gay marriage while he was President, but that all changed once he left office. This has been the same pattern we’ve seen with many politicians since gay marriage has gained more support in the mainstream. 

The Bush family have a compound in Kennebunkport, Maine. Jeb Bush is a patron of  HB Provisions, a general store owned by Bonnie Clement and Helen Thorgalsen.

The couple married in 2013. George HW Bush, also a former president, attended the wedding.

You can read the rest here. I have a feeling we’ll be seeing a lot more of this “safe” support in the months to come.

Lesbian Love Story At Cannes

A love story about two gay women starring Kate Blanchett and Rooney Mara recently won the Queer Palm Award at Cannes. According to this article, it’s a love story set in the 1950’s, in NY, when homosexuality was considered a crime.

Blanchett plays Carol, a wealthy married woman who falls in love with an ambitious shopgirl played by Mara.

Earlier this month, Blanchett revealed that she had ‘many‘ relationships with women but later denied having had any lesbian relationships.

The film is said to be a strong contender for the Palme d’Or which will be announced on Sunday.

You can read the rest here. I haven’t seen it and know nothing about it so I can’t comment.

There were tweets going around for a while where Kate Blanchett allegedly said she’d had relationships with other women. I honestly didn’t pay much attention to them at the time, and don’t care too much about it now. But this is interesting. 

Here’s a link to the article where Kate Blanchett denies having lesbian sex.

This quote is rich.

‘I think what often happens these days, if you are homosexual, you have to talk about it constantly; it has to be the only thing you put before your work and any other aspect of your personality.’

Well, yeah. I think that would apply to almost any minority who has been discriminated against. If she was gay she would have phrased that differently. But I’m not going to continue. Everything about this just makes me uncomfortable. I doubt I’ll be seeing this film. 

Jane Fonda’s Gaydar Off with Warren Beatty

If you’ve never seen an older Warren Beatty film, you should. At one time he was one of the hottest men in Hollywood. And his storied romances with many of Hollywood’s most famous women go on forever. This man has always been the epitome of heterosexuality. 

However, Jane Fonda thought he was gay.

But Jane Fonda, who rose to movie stardom in the early 1960s at the same time as Beatty, was apparently immune to his considerable charms.

‘I thought Warren was gay,’ the two-time Oscar winner tells W Magazine.

Why did she think so?

‘He played piano, and all his friends were gay.’

You can read the rest here. I know it’s only speculation on my part, but maybe Warren Beatty just wasn’t into Jane Fonda. You know, not everyone is.

I’ll ignore the part about gay and playing the piano. Fonda is an old woman and doesn’t know any better. It’s generational.



14 Gay Negative Statements; Honoring Stonewall in London

14 Gay Negative Statements

This article claims there are 14 things you should never say to a gay man. Of course it’s a tongue-in-cheek piece and none of it’s written in stone, however, I noticed a few things I’ve posted about over the years myself and it’s interesting in a general sense to see I wasn’t the only one thinking this way. I thought this line was interesting: “the factory of Sex in the City tokenism.” I’ve used the old TV show Sex in the City so many times as a point of reference I have too many posts up to link to one thing in particular.

In any event, I agree with some of the statements, I’m not so sure about others. The gay community is very diverse. Just last night Tony and I were watching the TV show House Hunters where a gay couple was looking for a property in NJ within commuting distance to Manhattan. They looked at one place in Jersey City in Trump Tower and one of them actually said he would like to live there because he could tell all his friends he lives in Trump Tower…as if that’s the most important thing in the house hunting process for him. We switched channels after that comment. It was too Sex in the City for us. We’re more interested in space, views, future property values, and the pragmatic issues that accompany becoming a home owner, not whether or not we can brag about living in Trump Tower. And, last I heard, Donald Trump wasn’t supporting gay people.

3. “I’m like a gay man trapped inside a woman’s body.”

I know you’re trying to connect with me, but what does that even mean? Does that make me a straight woman trapped inside a gay man’s body? Trust me, there’s a lot more to being gay than enjoying nice clothes and hooking up with dudes.

4. “How do you know you’re gay if you’ve never been with a woman?”

Did you need to experiment with women to know you were straight? What about porcupines? How do you know you wouldn’t enjoy sex with a porcupine if you don’t at least try it?

These are just two of the 14 I thought were interesting, and two I’ve personally heard many times myself. The rest are just as informative and entertaining. There are gay men who love Sex in the City. I don’t understand why. But they do. It’s all about diversity.

You can read more here.

Side note: This one below is for Joan and Melissa Rivers They had a wedding shower (or bachelorette party thing) episode on their reality show last year where the token gay guy went along as one of the girls. Of course I’m sure he’s being paid well, and some gay guys will do anything for a buck. But seriously. It’s time to knock it off.

7. “Come to girl’s night!”

If I’m invited then it’s not girl’s night. Stop calling it that! I’m not a girl!

Honoring Stonewall in London

This is the kind of thing I love to see. When the LGBT community comes together on a global level the way they are doing in London at the 2014 Pride event.

Pride in London 2014 will pay tribute to the 45th anniversary of the Stonewall Riots in New York, a turning point for the LGBTI liberation movement.

You can read more here.

2012: 50 Gays Who Came Out This Year

It seems that 2012 was a big year for gays coming out, at least for the following 50 people. Some didn’t surprise me too much. I’d either already figured or heard through the proverbial grapevine. Others did make me stop and think.

As a rule, I’m not fond of this huge pressure we tend to put on gay people to come out. I think that’s a personal thing, and no one should be forced or intimidated to come out. Privacy is also a huge concern nowadays with social media, even if you’re not a celeb. I never actually had the big “coming out” speech. I always knew who I was, I never lied about who I was, and I minded my own business.

“The fact is, I’m gay.” Anderson Cooper’s long-awaited announcement sums what it meant to come out in 2012. Again and again we heard the same sentiment — from pop singer Mika’s equally anticipated confirmation, “If you ask me am I gay, I say yeah,” to actor Andrew Rannells casually remarking about relating to a gay character, “I am gay in real life, so I definitely get it.” — proving that coming out today is in many cases a non-event, and certainly secondary to other achievements.

This one didn’t surprise me. In the same respect it never mattered to me one way or the other what his sexual preference was. It still doesn’t; I think he’s the best at what he does. And it’s nice to see that this is actually a “non-event” in many cases.

Although sometimes it is surprising when you had no idea someone was gay. I didn’t know this until I read the article.

Sherman Hemsley, the actor famous for his role as George Jefferson on All in the Family and The Jeffersons, never came out in life.

Hemsley didn’t actually come out, so this article is a little misleading. If you want to get technical, he was “outed” posthumously against his wishes. All I know is I feel a little guilty. I never thought of him as a good actor. In light of this information I now have a new level of respect for his acting abilities and what he did with his life…cuz it can’t be easy playing straight. It couldn’t have been easy keeping his sexuality a secret either. I can’t even imagine.

This one just leaves me speechless and makes me wonder how dumb they think we are.

“I am gay in real life, so I definitely get it,” actor Andrew Rannells said about his newly out character Elisha on HBO’s Girls.

It was the first time Rannells, who was nominated for a Tony for his Broadway turn in The Book of Mormon and also plays gay on NBC’s The New Normal.

It doesn’t always work this way. And I’m glad it doesn’t. But in this case was there ever any doubt?

Now this one below surprised me as much as George Jefferson. I’m actually a fan of Honey-boo-boo, and I wouldn’t have guessed Uncle Poodle was gay if I’d seen him on the street. At least not until we made eye contact anyway. The eyes are always the dead give-away for me. As a side note, I would never be attracted to Andrew Rannells if I met him on the street or in a club. I’m sure he’s a great guy, but not my type by any means. But if I met Uncle Poodle I’d be so attracted I might be rendered speechless, which doesn’t happen often.

 Alana’s Uncle Lee, affectionately called “Uncle Poodle,” became a breakout star after appearing, open, out and proud, alongside his supportive family. And like Rosie Pierri, Thompson keeps his sexual philosophy real: “I’m gay, but I’m as redneck as I can get. If you want people to accept you, you have to show you don’t have a problem with yourself and just be up front about who you are. If you do, you earn people’s respect.”

For those who don’t know, I have another blog on Word Press that’s basically everything I import from this blog. I keep it for specific reasons, and I might move there one day permanently. I recently had a comment from a young gay man who seemed slightly upset that I’d criticized “The New Normal” and other network TV shows for always portraying the stereotypical gays…men and women…for the sake of ratings and entertainment. And I tried to explain to him I’m not knocking the stereotypes at all. I’m not knocking effeminate gay men. I’d just like to see more gay men of all kinds represented in the mainstream. Because yes, there are “redneck” gay men. And all kinds of other gay men. Just as all groups or minorities have different types, so to speak. But if you watch reruns of “Sex In The City,” all you’re going to see is a very small segment of the gay community. And it’s not a segment with which I can identify as a man just as I’m sure someone like Bill Cosby couldn’t identify with the African-American stereotypes we used to see all the time in the mainstream. Thankfully, that’s ended for African Americans (for the most part). I think we’ll see the end of gay stereotypes as well. I just hope it’s in my lifetime.

Someone told me “The New Normal” was not renewed, and if this is true I’m not surprised. I tried to watch and I tried to give it a chance. But it just didn’t work for me.

A huge bravo for JoCasta Zamarripa for coming out as bisexual. The B in LGBT is probably the most unrecognized group in the world, and also the most underestimated. They tend to take a lot more unfair criticism as well, from both the straight and gay communities.

Wisconsin State Rep. JoCasta Zamarripa also helped elevate the B in LGBT this year when she came out as bisexual. And it was all in the name of full transparency, said the Democrat “It has always been my goal in office to be transparent and honest with my constituents. But before the primary in 2010, I didn’t have the valor and courage to come out. I feel remiss that I didn’t come out then.”

It’s also interesting to see someone in politics come out. As I stated earlier, I don’t think we should pressure anyone into coming out. But if you are living a public life this is one of the prices you pay sometimes. And Washington is probably the second most closeted town outside Hollywood when it comes to people guarding their public images.

In any event, it’s an interesting article and there were a few more surprises for me. You can get there from the link I provided above and read them all in detail at Towerload.

  

A Dumb Insulting Video about Gay Men by College Humor

I just watched the dumbest video about gay men by College Humor I’ve ever seen before. I’m treading lightly here and I’m really trying to keep an open mind about this. On the one hand it’s funny and even I laughed when I first started watching. On the other, the more I watched the more I saw that it’s about as insulting as any stereotype of any minority I’ve ever seen before.

Here’s the link to a video that’s titled, “Gay Men Will Marry Your Girlfriends.” I’m guessing it’s supposed to be a political statement about legalizing gay marriage on a state by state level, and it’s pointed at straight men. To date, I have failed to see anyone in the mainstream media mention Fred Karger and all the work he’s been doing to legalize gay marriage. But I see this nonsense about gay men marrying “your girlfriends” all the time and it is getting tired now.

I do get the humor. I like to think I have a good sense of humor. But whenever I see something like this I have to wonder WTF because the gay men I know are more like the straight men I know in more ways than one. And videos like this hurt more than they help with the way the general public sees the gay community at large.

There may have been gay rights victories in Maine, Maryland and Minnesota this past election, but there are still states out there doing their best to keep couples from getting married.

For those states, the men of College Humor have an ultimatum: Let them get hitched, or they’ll bite the bullet and start marrying your girlfriends.

The biggest misconception I find here is the implication that straight men are all against gay marriage and their girlfriends support it.  And that’s just not the way it works. There are as many straight women against gay marriage as there are straight men, at least that’s how it works from my own personal experiences as a gay man. In fact, the straight women who are against gay marriage tend to be both condescending and militant about it at times. In other words, Anita Bryant wasn’t the only one. I also have many straight males friends who really don’t care one way or the other.

But what I find even more insulting is that gay men have to fight these stereotypes constantly while they are also fighting for equality. And that’s just not something I’m willing to accept without speaking up about it anymore.

First, I don’t cook or arrange flowers. I don’t even eat quiche…never have and never will. The kitchen is my least favorite room in the house and I’m not even sure how to use the big hot thing they call a range. I know gay men who do cook and arrange flowers and there’s nothing wrong with that, but I know more who work as corporate executives during the week making six figures and they spend their weekends putting in hardwood floors and building decks. I could write pages about this alone, but you see where I’m going with this with respect to insults and stereotypes.

This time the dumb video hurts more than it helps because it not only objectifies gay men in a general sense as being prissy and effeminate, but also too dumb to stand up and understand the political implications behind the scenes. Some of us do “get” it. We are well informed politically and we know who is going to help us and who is going to hurt us. You just don’t hear from us often because we are the discreet silent majority. But we’re getting fed up and starting to talk more. Unfortunately, a lot of people out there who don’t know much about gay men and don’t get the parody in the video will actually think all gay men are like this…because this is all they ever really see!!

Try doing this with any other minority in America and you’d be slammed before you could even get your first “like.”