Category: Gay stereotypes

Benham Brothers On "Daddy" Issues; Is Model Austin Armacost Really Asexual? Shouty Billy Eichner In Your Face

Benham Brothers On “Daddy” Issues

Here we go again with the Benham brothers, those allegedly conservative twins who seem to enjoy speculating on gay men and gay culture…without knowing anything about gay men. It gives them a platform and exposure they normally wouldn’t get otherwise.

The twinsies appeared on Liberty Counsel’s “Faith and Freedom” radio show this week to talk about their favorite topic ever: Gay people! And the deep-seated daddy issues that drive them to seek comfort in the arms of other menfolk.

Someone should tell them about all the straight women I see tweeting about “daddies.”

You can read the rest here. Of course I’m only speculating now, but I wonder if there’s more to these two than what we can see on the surface.

Is Model Austin Armacost Really Asexual?

Maybe I’m wrong about this, but model Austin Armacost recently told the world he’s asexual and his story doesn’t quite match up to what I’ve posted about asexuality in the past.

Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction to anyone, or low or absent interest in or desire for sexual activity. It may be considered the lack of a sexual orientation, or one of the variations thereof, alongside heterosexuality, homosexuality and bisexuality. It may also be an umbrella term used to categorize a broader spectrum of various asexual sub-identities. A study in 2004 placed the prevalence of asexuality at 1% in the British population.

And this is what Armacost says…

Model Austin Armacost, who is currently appearing on “Celebrity Big Brother” and split with husband Jake Lees last year, has revealed that he is asexual.

He told show business reporter Andy West that he is a “very asexual” person, reports The Sun.

“I am probably in all honesty the least sexual person you will ever meet,” he said. “As much as I love getting my kit off and showing my bum everywhere, I am like a nun in bed.”

You can read the rest here. Armacost seems like a nice buy, and I’ll admit I’m not an authority on asexuality, but I do try to learn more about it whenever I get the chance. To me it sounds as if he’s telling everyone he’s not promiscuous and doesn’t have sex often, which I think is totally different from asexuality. But again, I could be wrong. Maybe what he’s talking about is just another degree of asexual?

The comments are not going to help you figure this one out. In fact, don’t bother to read them at all. I think the only people who would know for certain are people who identify as asexual.

Shouty Billy Eichner In Your Face

Sometimes I think it’s important to explain that not all gay men are the same. They don’t think the same way, they don’t act the same way, and they don’t react the same way. I also think talking about it helps break down some of the stereotypes about gay men.

With that said, I would have to restrain myself from throat punching Billy Eichner if he walked up to me on the street and did something like this…

Teaming up with James Corden, Eichner terrorizes unsuspecting New York bystanders — tickling, chastising, and congaing them into dazed, delirious submission, armed with only a Deadpool mask and a handful of maracas.

There’s more here, with an obnoxious video of Eichner. But it takes place in LA, not in NY as the article states. And I could only watch the first few minutes of this display of idiocy without gagging.

 New Release


Taiwan Gay Marriage; Sam Smith Ends Twitter Break; The Carrie Bradshaw "masc4masc" Meme

Taiwan Gay Marriage

It looks as if Taiwan is moving closer toward legalized gay marriage.

A Taiwan legislative committee approved preliminary amendment to the Civil Code that could lead to the legalization of same-sex marriage.

Different versions of an amendment to the Civil Code were carefully reviewed on Monday and includes rights and duties that will involve same-sex couples.

There’s more here. There have been polls taken, but frankly after the most recent polls in the US general election I’m having a hard time trusting polls now…and the media.

I think it’s interesting to see how the process works in other countries.

Sam Smith Ends Twitter Break

For those who’ve never been on Twitter, you can probably skip this. Twitter isn’t always simple, sometimes it’s downright mean, and you have to know how it works to fully understand everything that happens there. I’ve been there since the very beginning, back when most people were literally posting about what they had for lunch. Because what else could one post about in 140 characters? But since that time Tweeting has become something much more involved…for the most part.

In any event, Sam Smith took a Twitter break, which isn’t all that uncommon for people on Twitter to do. I’ve taken breaks over the years, too. Some people just stop altogether, which is called Twittercide. I knew one guy once who was a stock broker and his place of work made him stop tweeting sarcasm. Another one I knew left because of her Twitter Crush, some DMs, and a string of bad dick pics. And then there are those who are the grandest of us all who keep their tweets protected and hidden. I know a few book reviewers who do THAT. They are the special, elite snowflakes of Twitter, and their tweets don’t stink.

But I digress. Sam Smith came back for a reason this time.

George Michael’s death has brought Sam Smith out of his self-imposed break from social media.

The Grammy and Oscar winning singer and songwriter took to Twitter early Monday (26 December) to pay tribute to Michael who died unexpectedly over the weekend at the age of 53.

‘Words can’t express how much you and your music meant and means to me,’ Smith wrote.

It is the first tweet from Smith since the 12 June shooting massacre at the Orlando gay nightclub Pulse that left 49 people dead.

You can check that out here.

The Carrie Bradshaw “masc4masc” Meme

On hook up apps gay men often describe themselves as either “masc” or “fem.” I’m not drawing any conclusions with this one, but, coincidentally, I am making this a focus in my next book. In my book I’m more focused on tearing down the stereotypes. At least I hope that’s what I’m doing.

In any event, now there’s a meme circulating with a photo of Carrie Bradshaw working on her laptop, questioning the whole “masculine” thing in general.

Masc4masc? We think not. With fewer and fewer gay men feeling comfortable identifying as either “masc” or “fem,” the general consensus these days seems to be that the whole “masc4masc” thing is an outdated expression from the gay hookup culture of yesterday. Yet you still see plenty of guys writing it on their Grindr profiles. Why is that?

Here’s the rest. The comments aren’t kind to the article.

But I do think it’s a valid topic that leaves room for an open debate. The stereotypes that often accompany “masc” and “fem” don’t always fall neatly into place, especially not for gay men. And for those of you who think this is a gay male thing, it’s not. There’s plenty of this kind of thing with gay women, too.

It’s also not easy to write about this in fiction. And I’m either going to sink or swim with this one, but I’ve always wanted to tackle this debate, with characters in a book, and I’m ready to take the proverbial hits.

Valley of the Dudes

Stepbrothers In the Attic by Ryan Field

Boy Meets Boy Romance; Alex Minsky Strips; Addicted to YAS

Boy Meets Boy Romance

Here’s something you don’t see often. A romance story line about bisexual guys.

It often seems that nuanced explorations of bisexuality on screen are few and far between. The new romantic drama, In the Grayscale has been getting attention for its even-handed and thoughtful treatment of sexual self-discovery.

You can view a clip here. 

I’ll look for it on NetFlix. But you should read the comments. I think in cases like this it shows how gay men feel about film content with respect to what they’re getting…or nor getting.

Alex Minsky Strips

I haven’t posted about Alex Minsky in a while, but I think this will make up for it. He did a calendar for 2016 you’ll want to check out.

If there is a better way to kick off the ever-closer new year than with these stunning photos of tattooed veteran-turned-insanely good-looking model Alex Minsky, we’d love to hear about it.

Definitely check this out here. 

The photos have that artistic quality you don’t see all the time. In some cases possibly a little too “artistic” (there’s a fine line between real art and faux high school art), but they’re still good anyway. 

Side Note: You can follow Minsky on Instagram and he’s really very good with his fandom.

Addicted to YAS

For the record, I don’t dislike all gay stereotypes. I think some are endearing, some can be adorable, and some can depict gay culture as it is. In other words, it’s always been my own personal opinion that some stereotypes…in any culture…don’t make that much of a difference and people tend to take them too seriously sometimes. I know people will disagree with me, so I make it clear that’s my own personal opinion and I’m not advocating any negative stereotypes.

With that said, I think this guy is adorable. He’s talking about his addiction to saying “yaaaas” instead of “yes.” And he does it in a video in a very adorable way.  Yeah, I’m a huge sucker for this kind of adorable. I would definitely drink his Kool Aide.

It starts innocently enough.

Sharp new fade? Yaas.

That amazing Halloween look last weekend? Yaass!

An upcoming vacation to Mexico? YAASS Mama!!

But yaass has a dark, ugly side (besides just being annoying when used to react to any and all life situations). And nobody’s talking about it.

You can watch the video here and see for yourselves. 

So far there aren’t any comments.

Fangsters: Book 2

Gang Bang Fangsters


Bush Supporting Gay Marriage; Lesbian Love Story At Cannes; Jane Fonda’s Gaydar Off with Warren Beatty

Bush Supporting Gay Marriage

This really shouldn’t come a a huge shock to anyone, and it’s not really all that political anymore. Former President George W. Bush didn’t support gay marriage while he was President, but that all changed once he left office. This has been the same pattern we’ve seen with many politicians since gay marriage has gained more support in the mainstream. 

The Bush family have a compound in Kennebunkport, Maine. Jeb Bush is a patron of  HB Provisions, a general store owned by Bonnie Clement and Helen Thorgalsen.

The couple married in 2013. George HW Bush, also a former president, attended the wedding.

You can read the rest here. I have a feeling we’ll be seeing a lot more of this “safe” support in the months to come.

Lesbian Love Story At Cannes

A love story about two gay women starring Kate Blanchett and Rooney Mara recently won the Queer Palm Award at Cannes. According to this article, it’s a love story set in the 1950’s, in NY, when homosexuality was considered a crime.

Blanchett plays Carol, a wealthy married woman who falls in love with an ambitious shopgirl played by Mara.

Earlier this month, Blanchett revealed that she had ‘many‘ relationships with women but later denied having had any lesbian relationships.

The film is said to be a strong contender for the Palme d’Or which will be announced on Sunday.

You can read the rest here. I haven’t seen it and know nothing about it so I can’t comment.

There were tweets going around for a while where Kate Blanchett allegedly said she’d had relationships with other women. I honestly didn’t pay much attention to them at the time, and don’t care too much about it now. But this is interesting. 

Here’s a link to the article where Kate Blanchett denies having lesbian sex.

This quote is rich.

‘I think what often happens these days, if you are homosexual, you have to talk about it constantly; it has to be the only thing you put before your work and any other aspect of your personality.’

Well, yeah. I think that would apply to almost any minority who has been discriminated against. If she was gay she would have phrased that differently. But I’m not going to continue. Everything about this just makes me uncomfortable. I doubt I’ll be seeing this film. 

Jane Fonda’s Gaydar Off with Warren Beatty

If you’ve never seen an older Warren Beatty film, you should. At one time he was one of the hottest men in Hollywood. And his storied romances with many of Hollywood’s most famous women go on forever. This man has always been the epitome of heterosexuality. 

However, Jane Fonda thought he was gay.

But Jane Fonda, who rose to movie stardom in the early 1960s at the same time as Beatty, was apparently immune to his considerable charms.

‘I thought Warren was gay,’ the two-time Oscar winner tells W Magazine.

Why did she think so?

‘He played piano, and all his friends were gay.’

You can read the rest here. I know it’s only speculation on my part, but maybe Warren Beatty just wasn’t into Jane Fonda. You know, not everyone is.

I’ll ignore the part about gay and playing the piano. Fonda is an old woman and doesn’t know any better. It’s generational.

Bobby Cannavale Soft Porn; Davey Wavey Measures His Penis; 8 Stupid Things About Being Gay

Bobby Cannavale Soft Porn

I’m a fan of Bobby Cannavale, and was long before he did the male full frontal nude scene in Boardwalk Empire. In fact, I stopped watching Boardwalk Empire after they killed off his character. It was a good series of fiction wrapped around real life, but in the end they kept killing off the characters I loved the most, which frustrated me. And the big problem was they didn’t introduce new characters that could compete with the old.

In any event, here’s a link to information about a film with Bobby Cannavale that was based on the life of Linda Lovelace. The title is Lovelace, and oddly enough our good gay baiting buddy, James Franco, was up for the lead but didn’t get it.

Lovelace is a 2013 American biographical drama film about porn actress Linda Boreman, better known as Linda Lovelace. It covers the part of her life when she was “20 to 32”.[8] Directed by Rob Epstein and Jeffrey Friedman, the film was written by Andy Bellin and stars Amanda Seyfried, Peter Sarsgaard, Sharon Stone, Adam Brody, and Juno Temple. The film had its world premiere on January 22, 2013, at the 2013 Sundance Film Festival and opened in a U.S. limited release on August 9, 2013.

You can check that out here. It’s a great film and Cannavale plays an interesting part.

Davey Wavey Measures His Penis

This one is a little old, but it’s kind of amusing. I saw it last night and I don’t remember posting about it at the time. Davey Wavey and Pornster, Jake Bass, did this online inches deal and measured their dicks. Davey Wavey claims normal is 5 1/4 inches while Bass says it’s 7 inches. I’m more inclined to agree with Davey, at least from my experience.

In any event:

But at least there’s one thing these boys can agree on: Most men don’t know how to measure their dicks at all, regardless of their size. That’s why they’re offering a handy tutorial on how to measure your dick in “online inches,” which basically amounts to doubling whatever measurement you’ve taken.

Sounds kind of like something people do for Grindr to get dates or hook up.

You can watch the video here.    

The comments won’t surprise you.

8 Questionable Things About Being Gay

Here’s another article written about gay men that could be questioned by gay men who don’t fit the description. I don’t even like to post about these things anymore, but I do it so that somewhere, somehow, someone might “get” it. In this case the real title of the piece is Here Are Eight Great Things About Being Gay.

In one section he posts gay men can’t get pregnant…stating the obvious.

This could be questioned:

8. Gay bars

Face it, gay bars are superior to straight bars. The music is more fun, the drinks are more potent, and the people are in better shape (except for maybe at bear bars), not to mention better dressed (ditto). Most importantly, there’s not that awful denigration towards women you see at douchebag straight bars. Sure, we oogle each other, but no one feels subjugated (unless, of course, they want to).

He not only implies all gay men go to gay bars, he insults straight people, too. Not to mention the fact that gay bars are, and have been, closing down little by little all over the US thanks to hook up apps and lifestyle changes.

How about this one:

6. Open relationships

While there are certainly plenty of gay couples who practice monogamy, open relationships are much more common (or at least commonly discussed) among gay couples than among straight ones. And, no, that doesn’t mean the gay guys in said relationships are sluts (unless they want to be) or that they aren’t still deeply committed to one another. It just means they’re able to separate NSA sex from real love, and they know how to appreciate both simultaneously without all the petty drama.

Maybe this is sarcasm I’m not getting?

I could continue to dispute every word this guy writes, but it’s not worth it. The rest of the mess is here.

This comes from the comment thread and I think this guy is the one who really speaks for many of  us:

Wow. 8 shallow, ridiculous points. Are we really that plastic?

And anyone can dress well or dress poorly. I’m gay. I don’t dress in expensive clothes… I sometimes find nice stuff to wear, but I also have my style (considering urban). 

And gay bars aren’t all that great from my experience. Some gay clubs are good in Los Angeles (Arena+Circus for one… but they are said to be shutting their doors this year).

And there you go. This isn’t just me questioning all these things. There are millions of gay men all over the world who are getting tired of this kind of stereotypical article filled with inaccuracy and misinformation.

The Rainbow Detective Agency Book 2




STUDlebrity Hot Men; Your Urban Culture Buff; The Underwear Expert Kickstarter Campaign

STUDlebrity Hot Men

This is an interview with Documentary filmmaker, Charlie David, who was a former boy band member. He’s put together a film about really hot guys and I think the theme is centered on why we find them so interesting…they rarely do anything other than look good. At least that’s what I think it is. There doesn’t seem to be any deep underlying message.

How do the economics work? Who is actually paying them to live like this?
I think there are a very select few Studlebrities who actually make a living through their social presence and fewer who make a very good living at it. I’ll quantify ‘very good living’ by setting the benchmark at six figures. There is generally a lot of noise online and so it takes a special type of personality who has proven a consistent audience for a corporate brand to take notice and to invest in them. How that works has a huge range of possibilities from traditional product placement in their videos or photos, ‘shout out’ endorsements, club or public appearances, Adsense on YouTube videos, monetization reward levels linked to views, non-cash support such as gear or swag, or exclusive deals which require the personality to do a certain number of posts within a time frame for a certain amount of money. Some Studlebrities, especially those involved in the digital video world, have proven themselves worthy of million dollar offers but these are absolutely the anomaly and not the norm. Most of these guys may not actually directly make any money off social media at all. It’s simply a marketing platform that they hope will translate into cash at some point.

I don’t know how to comment on this one. There are a lot of good looking guys out there and it seems as though David is reaching a little too far with this theme. But maybe not. I know he’s only talking about a select group of the most “elite” but even in that case who really takes them all that seriously unless they’ve actually done something of substance? In other words, you can only look at a pretty man for so long until you get bored, and if there’s nothing else but looks you move on to something better. And I really hate to say that because I feel as if I’m doing a huge injustice to at least some of the men that are being objectified as the most elite. I live few miles from a well known female model in Solebury, PA. She’s one of the biggest names in NY and is contracted with one of the biggest cosmetic firms in the world. Although close to forty she’s still working. But her husband was a former male model and he’s retired…in his forties. He’s still great looking, but considered too old to compete. It’s really not the easiest life to live.

You can read the rest of the interview here.

Your Urban Culture Buff

I swear I’m not making this up, and yes, these things about gay men just keep getting worse in some gay publications. I don’t even know what the fuck an urban culture buff is…nor do I really care.

Get this:

If there’s one thing we know and love, it’s the arts. Music. Theater. Dance. Architecture. You name it.

I’d rather not name it, because I know plenty of gay men who drink beer, eat pizza, and watch football on TV this time of year.

But this does read like an advertorial, so I guess it can’t be helped because they are selling something. So if you are interested in a trip for “your urban culture buff” you can check out the links here.

Have fun with “your urban culture buff.”

The Underwear Expert Kickstarter Campaign

I figured since the first two parts of this post were slightly ridiculous, I might as well end with something as odd. There’s now something called the Curated Underwear Club, where you can take your underwear personality test and they can hook you up with the best underwear that will suit you…because plain black and white briefs just don’t do the job anymore. But trust me, there’s more to this and it’s actually a great gimmick. I think sometimes you have to applaud a smart businessperson. Questionable, but smart. 

They will ask for your likes and dislikes on different factors. From pouches, waistbands, and underwear styles, they get an idea of the man before choosing his underwear. More custom options will also be available upon the club’s launch. With their proprietary technology, they focus on both your personality and tastes in underwear, and no other subscription on the planet will curate your underwear drawer in the same way.

If you actually give a shit about whether or not you’re wearing last year’s underwear, you can read more here. This is another one of those kickstarter campaigns and they have already raised close to thirty thousand put you into the right pair of underwear so you won’t be stressed out. 

When there are thousands of real charities out there that need help desperately, not to mention homeless people all over the US, 288 people donated money to this.

Side note…this is why they need the underwear money:

Every start-up requires a lot of money to get off the ground, and we’re asking for your help to finish building out the rest of the custom technology and meet our minimum orders with each brand we’re carrying to get started. We need a ton of underwear in various styles, sizes, colors and trends in order to be able to curate your individual subscription with products you’ll love. We know that once you experience our curated underwear program – you will never go back to traditional underwear shopping.

New Adult Love Story

Published through Ryan Field Press

Thank You Tuc Watkins; Straight Guys Kissing; Washington Florist Gay Hate

Thank You Tuc Watkins

Update Below

Remember yesterday’s post, where I linked to a piece about Jesse Ferguson of Modern Family responding to a negative comment made by another actor, Tuc Watkins? Evidently, Watkins isn’t letting Ferguson get the last word. This time Watkins offered a brilliant apology, plus an explanation that I found excellent.

Dear Jesse,
I’m glad to see that a FB post can stoke a fire that burns in the LGBT community, and supporters of our community.

Many doors have opened in gay people’s fight for equality. Civil rights, marriage rights, and depictions of us individually and collectively on television. Great strides have taken us from tolerance into acceptance and towards true equality.
Stereotypes still exist. They probably always will. And while the truth is usually somewhere in the middle, stereotypes polarize us. No news there. But while an explanation of a stereotype can make good, logical sense, it still leaves the stereotype intact.
I’m glad to have played gay characters, but at the same time have been frustrated by the stereotypes I feel I’ve been party to in playing those roles. I’ve begged wardrobe designers so I wouldn’t have to wear paisley shirts, directors to reconsider a “snap” at the end of a scene, and writers to remove ‘Hey, gurl!’ from dialogue.
I did it because when I was growing up, trying to figure out where I fit it in, I couldn’t seem to locate a role model. The stereotypes I saw made me think, ‘Well, I don’t identify with that so I must not be gay.’
I can appreciate that one man’s roadblock may be another man’s role model. I feel like my growth was stunted, but understand that another person’s may have been bolstered. I believe that, as a community we want to make the path easier for those who come after us. I want that. I’m certain you do to.
Some audience members can laugh through a character, but it can also distance others. We each come to the fight with our own baggage…as well as our own weaponry. ‘Revolutionary times call for revolutionary means.’ My comments were extreme, and my use of the word ‘blackface’ inexcusable. I regret creating dissension among the ranks, especially when we’re all in this fight together.
I see your point. I hope you’ll consider mine.

I think that was well done, and now I know who Tuc Watkins is…very attractive and smart. I don’t think either of them are wrong, but I do understand Watkins’ POV better than Ferguson’s simply because I can identify better. But, the bigger picture here is that at least we’re seeing this dialogue happening now. I’ve been waiting all my life to see this. I used to wonder, aren’t there any other gay people out there with whom I can identify?And I know I’m not the only one who feels that way.

Thank you Tuc Watkins for getting this out there.

You can check out the link here where there’s a photo of Watkins.

Update: I think it’s interesting to note that since Tuc Watkins made his statement I’ve watched his facebook page and it seems as though other gay men sent him friend requests. It’s the first thing I did when I read what he had to say. Maybe it’s coincidence, maybe not. But it is interesting. This is from Watkins timeline: “How does a person accept 11365 friend requests with one click?”

Straight Guys Kissing Men

This is pure clickbait, but I think interesting.

They’ve imagined what if would be like if straight people had to come out, pried self-professed straight guy to dish on hot male celebrities, and even convinced straight besties to look at each other naked for the first time. You know, for science.

But that was all just a warmup for this — straight guys kissing men for the first time

You can check out the rest here. Some of the comments are interesting, too. One doesn’t understand why Buzz Feed is so interested in this or why it’s of significance to gay men. I do. Gay men find it fascinating, and for many it’s even a sexual turn on. No one else is willing to admit that aloud. 
Here’s one comment I love: 
These are friends. Not strangers. It’s within the context of their social relationship. Given the situation in a public environment and strangers, not even the gays would want to kiss a total stranger.
Actually, it’s the other way around for me. I’m not into kissing friends in an intimate way like that. I think it’s a little creepy. I have, however, kissed total strangers and loved it…depends on what the guy looks like. I guess to each his own.
Washington Florist Gay Hate
There’s a woman florist in Washington D.C. who won’t greet gay wedding guests in spite of the fact that no one really asked her in the first place. It’s really a confusing article with mixed messages…but I get it.
She’s had a couple of gay men for customers for years and when they asked her to do the flowers for their wedding she refused based on her religious convictions. So the gay customers are suing her.
Before filing a suit against her, state attorney general Bob Ferguson gave her the opportunity to reconsider her stance, but she stood her ground, citing artistic freedom. (If you’re scratching your head on that one, her claim was that making floral arrangements “is a creative process [that] takes artistic talent” and that “all artists consider what they do to be an expression.”)

Now, nearly two years later, Stutzman is back in court. On Friday, attorneys for both the state and the couple asked a judge to find her guilty of discrimination without going through with a trial, arguing that all parties agree on the relevant points of the case.

The strange part about all this is that the gay guys who have been her customers for years liked her, they interacted with her, and thought of her as a friend…until the marriage issue came up.

You can read the rest here. Frankly, I just think people like this are insecure, and very poor businesspeople. No one’s challenging her right to believe whatever she wants to believe. They’re just asking her to treat people with respect and dignity. But the hate goes so deeply it’s hard to rationalize.

Chase of a Christmas Dream


TLC TV Gay Mormon Men; Cheap Undies Christmas Underwear Party; Jesse Tyler Ferguson On Gayface

TLC TV Gay Mormon Men

Evidently, gay Mormon men don’t consider themselves gay because they’re married to women…or have girlfriends. There’s a new TLC TV show airing on the topic. Once again, reality TV; it is what it is.

I’m not going to try to figure this one out. Here’s an excerpt:

This January, The Learning Channel is set to air My Husband Is Not Gay,” a show that features openly gay Mormon men who date and marry women. Apply palm directly to forehead. The show features three men who are supposedly happily married to women despite being gay and one single gay dude, looking for a nice woman to settle down with. 

The very existence of this series indicates the need to address the general bigotry surrounding a man understanding his sexuality as a hindrance, something to “overcome” with faith in god, and forcing himself into a relationship with a woman to whom he’s fundamentally not a attracted. The fact that (as Towleroad points out) the Mormon Church just reiterated its opposition to same-sex marriage in April, stating that succumbing to homosexuality is a sin, makes this even more disturbing.
Of course I agree with the last paragraph. It is bigotry and homophobic. And what this does to women is as bad as what it does to gay men. However, again, it’s also reality TV and I have never once heard of reality TV that wasn’t staged for exploitation and sensationalism. In other words: think James “Flacco” on social media.
Just to be clear. I do know and understand there are gay men married to women and they have good marriages. This show doesn’t seem to be about that. This is something different altogether, which, unfortunately, also diminished yet another segment. 
Cheap Undies Christmas Underwear Party
There’s a company that sells cheap underwear… I think I’ve posted about them here before. I’m one of their best customers. I really do love them and I truly have made several purchases there this past year. Now they have a video out that’s a Christmas underwear party. 
Colby Melvin kicks off the CheapUndies holiday video by explaining that instead of sending out Christmas cards, he decided to invite some friends over to make a “holiday card, come to life.” In underwear, obviously.

It quickly becomes a showcase of Colby’s friends performing a variety of acts. Also in their underwear, obviously.

There’s a video you can check out here. As I said, I love the undies…and they are cheap. You’ll love the video…make you happy 🙂

Jesse Tyler Ferguson On Gayface

I don’t even know how many times I’ve posted about sitcom Modern Family, how I don’t watch it, and why I don’t watch it for specific reasons. I’m not going to link to that, but if you do a search on the blog you’ll find a few posts.  One of the actors who plays a gay character, and who is gay in real life, reacted to a comment another actor recently made on Facebook:

Modern Family star Jesse Tyler Ferguson responding to out actor Tuc Watkins‘ Facebook post in which he said “I have a hard time laughing at the gay guys. In fact, I kinda cringe. It feels a little bit like the gay equivalent of ‘blackface.’”

I don’t even know who Tuc Watkins is. Ferguson responded this way to the facebook post:

Sorry you feel that way Tuc. I know lots of guys who are just like Cam and lots of guys who are just like Mitch. We can’t be expected to represent every gay person. We can only represent these two people. Also, Mitch is basically a version of me…so I never know how to take it when people say that he is stereotypical. And in defense of Cam, I still can’t figure out how a clown & football coach who also happens to be gay is a stereotype. When all is said and done, it’s a family sitcom. I feel our writers do a fantastic job of servicing 11 characters each week in just 22 minutes. I am incredibly proud to play Mitch and I have a lot of pride in our show. As a closeted kid of the ’80s I would have loved to have had a show like Modern Family to watch with my parents. It would have meant a lot to me to see who I secretly was reflected on television. TV has come a long way and it continues to forge new ground. I am thrilled with the work that you did on Desperate Housewives. It opened the door for shows like ours and hopefully we can hold that door open for many more shows to follow us. At the end of the day we can’t please everyone..and we shouldn’t try to. Kinda just like life, right? Take care. Jesse Tyler Ferguson.”

There are a few things I can’t dispute. Ferguson is right. He can’t represent every gay man on the planet, and I want to make it clear I actually do support the show…as a comedy/parody of sorts. I don’t watch it, but I’m glad it’s on TV. In the same respect, I was also a kid growing up in the 80’s and watching two gay men like the two on Modern Family would have been my worst nightmare, and would have kept me in the closet even longer. I can’t identify with either of them at all. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Not every straight person can identify with every straight character on TV. However, let’s balance things out a little for the gay men who don’t feel represented by the gay characters we see on Modern Family. That’s when things to become stereotypical.

But, again, Modern Family is comedy. Not meant to be taken seriously…I hope. We seem to be losing our sense of humor more and more these days.

Here’s the link. 

Chase of a Christmas Dream


Religion & Gay Hate; Daniel Radcliff on Michael Sam; AIDS Film & Gay Dancers

Religion & Gay Hate

A guy named Victor Sadet allegedly followed a group of gay men out of a restaurant and started shouting hateful slurs at them. But more than that, he quoted from the bible and then said that his deep religious beliefs led him to behave this way. He felt he was right doing what he did.

Calling Tweedie a “f*cking fa**ot”, the holy roller was certain to clarify that the book of Leviticus called for Tweedie’s death. The man was later interviewed by WILX 10 News and confirmed that it was indeed his religious principles that drove him to act like an utter lunatic.

There’s more here, with a video.

I don’t think I’ll ever live long enough to understand this kind of hate coming from so-called religious people who claim to be acting in the name of their respective religions. If you look at this all from a logical POV, one thing completely cancels out the other.

My only other comment is that it’s a good thing he didn’t pull this act on another type of gay man. I think if he’d pulled something like this on me, or even on Tony, he would have been left standing in that parking lot in tears. And, he never would have done something like that to a gay person again.

Daniel Radcliff on Michael Sam

I recently read something J.K. Rowling did that was very generous. I can’t remember exactly what it was, but I always find that like Rowling, Daniel Radcliff from the Harry Potter films always does or says the right things. In this case, he’s commenting on how much he admires Michael Sam, the NFL player who recently came out in public and literally changed the landscape for all gay athletes.

Radcliffe is impressed with how Sam has handled the scrutiny and being one of the last picks.

‘I think he’s amazing, frankly. In interviews, at no point does he allow himself to be portrayed as a victim or someone who deserves extra sympathy. He’s brilliant at shutting that down. I think everybody else just hopes he does fucking brilliantly this year, and that there’s [going to be] a list of quarterbacks who got sacked by a gay defensive end.’

He makes more comments here. He’s evidently a fan of the sport, too. Take note, James Franco, this is how you act and react the right way. I never see anyone in the press going after Radcliff.

AIDS Film & Gay Dancers

This is an interesting link because it’s about a film that deals with AIDS, but it’s not a depressing film. The title of the film is Test and it’s about professional dancers dealing with AIDS. Director Chris Mason Johnson claims the film is uplifting and it’s not something we would normally expect from a film about AIDS. He talks about how difficult it’s been to market a film like this to the mainstream because they expect depressing when it’s related to AIDS. But I think I like this comment he makes the most…more than any other comment I’ve read in a long time because I’m always talking about this here on the blog, and it falls mostly on deaf ears.

 ‘I think one of the things we like about TEST is because the characters are gay but they’re not stereotypes.

 ‘I think we’ve made a huge amount of progress but I think there’s still one way the mainstream is comfortable with gay people being portrayed and that’s the clown and the court jester and I’m kind of tired of that.

 ‘I do think it’s easier to cast a straight actor in a gay role. It becomes a badge of honour, it gives them status. Ultimately, Johnson wants Test to speak for itself.

I’m tired of it, too. I think most of us are tired of it. Though I’ve never used the terms clown and court jester, I’m tired of the way they treat us like pet poodles. Either that, or as if we’re lab rats put on this earth to be picked and examined to see how we work.

There was a discussion about this last week on social media and one person made the comment that he/she thinks he/she doesn’t have to be gay to understand what it is to be gay. Interesting.

You can read the rest here.

Cage James
By Ryan Field

Until the Sun Rises
Short Story by Ryan Field
Sexual Transitioning

Breaking Stereotypes: Gay Boxing; Grindr, Rape, Philly;

Breaking Stereotypes: Gay Boxing

There’s a new boxing club in New York breaking old stereotypes called Velvet Gloves where gay men can work out in a very different way now, and meet people in the process. Here’s an interview with Vance Garrett, the guy who started the club.

I’ve wanted to do something with and for my group of friends outside of the typical scene for a long time. All of us have been to the parties and clubs, and that can be great, but I think we collectively have wanted something else to do that’s fun — but won’t leave you with a hangover — and fits with our current lifestyles. Working out and wellness in general is important to many of them, and while conditioning for boxing requires being in the best shape possible, I don’t think many would want to step into a traditional boxing gym. Also, boxing has always been a tough man’s sport. It has been marketed as gruesome and intimidating yet it is one of the most beautiful sports to watch. The athletes are as graceful as dancers. It allows you to develop self-defense skills, builds confidence, and is physically AND mentally challenging. So I wanted a club that was tailored just for them-for fun, social guys who want the best workout possible in the best environment possible.

You can read more here. I would join. I jog four or five miles every morning because health clubs annoy me. I’m out to work out, not socialize. I don’t have time. But I’ve never been to a club where I don’t wind up either ducking behind something to avoid someone, or stuck in conversation for at least twenty minutes. Velvet gloves looks like serious working out.

And for those of you who think this is something new. It’s not. Gay men come in all sizes, shapes, and varieties…not just what you’ve seen on Sex in the City.

I’ve actually incorporated a gay boxer character in one of my books, The Actor Learning to Love. It’s a recent novel in the Bad Boy Billionaire series.

Grindr, Rape, Philly

I actually saw this on my local news the other night and was surprised I didn’t see it anywhere online. It took a while, but I spotted it this morning and thought I’d post about it for those of you take chances with web sites like Grindr or Craigslist. A man from Canada who was visiting Philly decided to hook up on Grindr and got more than he bargained for. He was held up at gunpoint, and sexually assaulted.

It didn’t end there. The men then walked together about 15 blocks through the city, with the victim being forced to purchase Visa gift cards and make ATM withdrawals totaling $3,000. Finally, inside a busy bar at 20th and Walnut, surveillance cameras captured the struggle between the two men as the victim escaped.

You can read more here.

I also saw that an Allentown, PA man was murdered while trying to sell his car on Craigslist last week. The guy met a potential buyer from Philadelphia at his place of business, and then he was shot to death and the car was stolen. I get my tenants through Craigslist, and I actually sold my Jag through them recently, too. However, you don’t know what screening is until you’ve contacted me through Craigslist. I turn down far more people than I accept because they did something offhanded during the e-mail process. A huge red flag for me is when someone wants to meet too soon, or call too soon. It’s e-mail and only e-mail in the beginning. Those who are serious don’t mind that. Those who are up to no good, back off. The back and forth e-mail process for me when looking for a tenant or selling anything on CL takes at least a week. And even then I always meet at a very busy, crowded public place for the first time.

You just can’t take anything for granted, especially if you’re visiting a rough, vicious city like Philadelphia. Those of you who live in different places don’t always realize how we live here, and what we have to deal with. All of your worst fears about cities like Philadelphia are most likely true. All of the worst things you’ve heard are probably true, and even worse now because most have never recovered from the economic depression. Don’t trust anyone, especially from an online hook up.