Category: gay rape

Gay Baseball Player Who Was Raped; Anderson Cooper’s Mom’s Lesbian Affair; Lesbian Reporter Fired From Gay Publication

Gay Baseball Player Who Was Raped

Here’s a story about a coming out struggle, obstacles gay men growing up in rural places face, and a plot twist that turned into what only resembles most of our worst nightmares.

After driving for a while, the man “wrestled me out of the car. He sexually abused me. He drugged me. He raped me. He changed my life. It’s a struggle to just write a few lines about it, but it’s part of who I am now.”

Needless to say, the article continues with how this horrible thing set him back years.

You can read the rest here.

Anderson Cooper’s Mom’s Lesbian Affair

I went to Fairleigh Dickinson University in Florham Park NJ, which was one of the old Vanderbilt estates in the early part of the 20th century. It was magnificent…here’s a photo.  While I was there taking a fine arts course as an elective I met a few older students who were auditing courses, not matriculating. One of these older students claimed that when she was a child she knew Gloria Vanderbilt, as a child. The woman claimed her mother worked on the estate and she’d played with Vanderbilt in the summer months. I never knew how much of that was true, however, the entire campus was rich with Vanderbilt history. And, a lot of people don’t realize that Anderson Cooper’s mother is Gloria Vanderbilt.

In any event, this is interesting.

Anderson’s mother, Gloria Vanderbilt, made the revelation that when she was thirteen years old, she had what she calls a “lesbian relationship” with a fellow classmate at Miss Porter’s School, an all-girls’ boarding school in Connecticut (sounds expensive).

You can check that out here. 

Lesbian Reporter Fired From Gay Publication

This one is a little tricky because I think that if you’re working in the media and you’re trying to attract newer, younger readers, you have to keep up with technology and the times. And that includes all forms of social media, things like e-books, digital music, and basically every new change that happens each day. And sometimes these changes do happen daily. The changes that have happened within the LGBT community in the last five years are amazing alone. Gay bars are becoming extinct thanks to hook up apps.

With that said, I’m not trying to speculate or comment on this one and this has nothing to do with the woman they’re talking about in this article. For all I know she could be a tech genius tweeting at red lights like everyone else. However, I do know a lot of people over a certain age who have not embraced the most basic things younger people are doing nowadays…especially younger gay people. And by younger that could mean anyone under 60 years old. I have older friends who don’t even know what a DM is, which is fine for them because they’re not working in publishing or the media. They don’t need to know, unless, of course, they want to remain relevant. I know authors who brag about not having an iPhone and not knowing what texts are.   

In any event, a 66 year old lesbian reporter/journalist who has worked for LGBT Frontiers Magazine for many years was fired.

“Unfortunately, Karen fell where we realized we were moving toward a digital and millennial audience, and we wanted to give the generation of millennials a real shot at creating our content,” Blair told PressPassQ. “Karen did an incredible job and is very much missed. We would like to use her services in the future from time to time, if she would like to.”

The overall tone seems to suggest it was because of her age but being that I don’t know any of the details I obviously can’t comment specifically.   You can read the rest here

The comments are interesting. And frankly, I’m wondering how long any LGBT focused publication can remain relevant with younger gay people assimilating so much, not to mention technology. Back in the 90s I used to make a point of going to one of our local gay bars weekly just to pick up a print copy of the Philadelphia Gay News. It kept me informed; I loved the ads. I don’t think I’ve even seen a copy of that publication in the past ten years, thanks to the internet. When gay becomes so commonplace there are no more coming out stories, what will the gay media resemble? I don’t know.

But I do know everything changes.

The Rainbow Detective Agency Rancho Mirage

In Print and E-book

The Arrangement


Romance Genre HEA; Troy Aikman Chose Not Gay; Married Uber Guy Sex Assault; Gay In British Army

Romance Genre HEA

I’m not linking to anything now and I’m not offering my opinion. This is just the most basic information for anyone who is interested in what is often a hot button topic…Romance as a distinct genre with guidelines. With that said, if there were lines drawn and I had to choose sides between those who remain true to romance as a distinct genre and those who like to get creative and redefine romance on their terms, I’ll draw my proverbial sword and stand with the strict, pure romance people every time.

There are several elements that define romance as a genre, and one of the most important is a happily-ever-after ending…HEA. I’m amazed at how many people (and authors) don’t know this…and don’t even know what HEA means…and consider movies like Titanic romances. For avid romance readers, authors, and critics this HEA is what makes a romance, defines a romance, and is what fuels the ultimate emotional experience in reading a romance. Some call it escapism, others take the concept much deeper on an academic level. But more important, HEA is not something to take lightly in romance as a genre. 

And yet there are those who don’t know this, and those who want to get creative and redefine the genre with books that don’t always have HEA. Some do this because romance is a hot genre that makes money and they want to jump onto the money train so their books can be classified as romance. Others do this because they want to be unique and creative, because they are so different than everyone else. Their high school English teacher told them so. Unfortunately, they never consider the distinct difference between romantic fiction and genre romance.

Frankly, no one is ever going to change my opinion about HEA and romance as a genre is not going to change because some new indie author with a blog thinks it should. There is no argument strong enough to sway my opinion. For me it’s not even up for debate and I won’t waste my time discussing it with anyone. I get a kick in the ass at least once a day and I prefer HEA because it’s my escape from all the crap in life.

But for those of you who aren’t that familiar with all this genre talk and don’t really know what a romance is in the purest sense, tread with care with this one. If you decide to challenge this you are going to run up against some of the most aggressive people in the book community and they’re going to take you down as fast as you can tweet your fresh, new, and unique thoughts about how romance doesn’t always need HEA.

Troy Aikman Chose Not Gay

The retired pro NFLer, Troy Aikman, was referred to as allegedly gay in a book once and rumors are still following him 20 years later. He recently made this statement:

I’m upset about it because it was made up and there was nothing accurate about anything that was insinuated. And he did it, as he does everything, just for attention. I am probably more upset because I probably should have responded to it at the time it was going on. The advice to me was “Hey, just don’t address it. It’s not worth it. It doesn’t make any sense. It’s ridiculous. All it’s going to do is have people continue to talk about his book.” So I didn’t. But I probably could have responded differently and maybe that would have changed things. Maybe it wouldn’t have. But it is ridiculous, and, yeah, it bothers me. If that is a lifestyle people choose, so be it. It doesn’t affect me one way or another. But it is not my lifestyle.

Once again, a gay publication disappoints me. They focus more on the fact that Aikman “chose” his lifestyle instead of commenting about the fact that Aikman seems to think there’s shame in being considered gay.

All Aikman had to say was “I’m not gay, but there’s nothing wrong with that if I were,” and that would have made all the difference in the world…unless, of course, he does think that being considered gay is wrong.

You can read the rest to see what I’m talking about.  If you accuse me of being straight should I be embarrassed or hurt by it? Should I become defensive and deny it? It works both ways, guys.

I just don’t get it.

Married Uber Guy Sex Assault

Here’s something that’s not talked about often enough either: gay rape and gay sexual assault. In this article it’s being alleged that a “straight” married Uber driver with three kids and a wife sexually assault a 21 year old man in the front seat of his car.

According to Assistant State’s Attorney Jennifer Cooper, once the passenger was in the front seat, Nafasat, a married father of three, grabbed the young man’s crotch and put his tongue and fingers in his mouth.

The passenger begged Nafasat to stop then asked to be taken home, to which he replied he “was not going home” and that “nobody knew where he was.”

At a traffic light, Nafasat then grabbed the passenger by the throat and started choking him, nearly knocking him unconscious. After breaking free from his attacker’s grip, the passenger tried to jump from the vehicle, but Nafasat was driving too fast.

You can read more here. At least we’re hearing more about these incidents as crimes. Ten or twenty years ago I think something like this would have been kept completely covered up.

Gay In British Army

The British Army is now asking recruits if they are gay. The optional question is designed to disclose whether or not they are gay in an attempt to protect and know more about them. It’s considered a good thing.

James Wharton, who suffered violent attacks in the Household ­Cavalry’s Blues and Royals for being gay and who was once famously saved by Prince Harry, said:

“It’s fantastic news. But it’s important troops don’t have to reveal sexual ­preferences. I wasn’t ready to do that.”

I still think about that sometimes, and I even posted about it at the time…being saved by a hero like Prince Harry. I write romance; I’m big on heroes, especially princes and kings.

But I digress. As Wharton said, no one is forcing anyone out of the closet. They only have to disclose the information if they are ready.

The rest is here.  


Release Day: Too Hard to Handle; Gay Prison Sex; Philly Gay Bashing Suspects; Most Evil Women in History;

Release Day: Too Hard to Handle

Another book in the Glendora Hill series, Too Hard to Handle, is coming out tomorrow (I hope) and I’ll post the links as I get them. I know I’ve explained before how the launch of e-books can get tricky sometimes and it’s not like the release day of a print book where they unpack the boxes and set the books up on shelves. I’ve had release days with digital books where servers have done down, web sites have crashed, and sometimes larger places like Amazon just take their time. On the rare occasion, everyday life can hinder a launch if someone gets sick. It happens and I’ve learned to expect anything. But I will update with all the info as I get it, and you can always e-mail me with questions. My e-mail is on the sidebar in the about section.

This particular book in the series was interesting to write because the entire book is told from Sebastian’s son’s POV. This is a stand alone and it can be read alone, but in conjunction with the series it picks up after Kick’s rough trade boyfriend has a motorcycle accident. I can’t say anymore without spoilers.

Publisher Purchase Link $4.99 (always cheaper at the publisher)

Purchase Link to

Gay Prison Sex

This article is fascinating because it debunks the age old concept that gay prison sex almost always involves forced rape. Frankly, I could live without the left wing commentary, but the topic in general is on target with regard to the dynamics about how gay prison sex actually works.

It’s complicated in the sense that there is rape culture involved in some cases, at least a certain kind of rape culture with respect to men this time. It comes through intimidation, victimization, and in the simplest form, bullying. But there are a few different dynamics that a lot of people don’t know about. I’ve actually heard this discussed before and everything adds up.

Here’s an excerpt from the article, from a book titled, A Gentleman’s Guide to Sex in Prison.

Openly gay men are not as oppressed as one might fear. The feminine ones are often desired, and there is quite a bit of prostitution going on. I once saw oral sex performed in exchange for two cigarettes and a honey bun, a bargain offered by Dirty Tommy, who told people he had “the AIDS” as soon as they met him. There are many transsexuals (still called “shemales” in the system), especially in the maxes, for some reason. Some truly look like women, and as a consequence they are well taken care of by their admirers. Others just look like men with breast implants. There was one called Grandma who was quite a fright, but apparently had customers anyway, because his dentures came out. The old-timers call these guys “lizards” and have nothing to do with them, but the younger guys who grew up with Will and Grace and so forth are more easygoing about it.

You can read the rest here. Considering the highly controversial gay prison sex fantasy in adult entertainment, it’s a topic that is not without controversy…as you will see from the comment thread.

Philly Gay Bashing Suspects

Here’s more about the suspects that turned themselves in with regard to the gay bashing incident in Philadelphia last week that went viral nationwide. So far, three have turned themselves in and I’m not sure whether or not there will be more. One of them is the daughter of a police chief in Chalfont, PA…only about six miles away from where we live in New Hope. I know Chalfont is gay friendly because I have gay friends who live there. It’s not as progressive or artistic as New Hope, but the suspect is not a reflection on her community.

Here’s something about the woman charged, Kathryn Knott, who is the one from Chalfont, PA.

A Twitter account listed as belonging to Kathryn Knott, 24, who surrendered to authorities Wednesday along with Phillip Williams, 24, and Kevin Harrigan, 26, not only shows confidential photos of patients’ X-rays while working in an emergency room but tweets about getting drunk and “ew” gays.

“the ppl we were just dancing with just turned and [made] out with [each] other #gay #ew,” Knott tweeted in March, 2012.

She additionally appears to have used homophobic hashtags like #dyke and described a taxi cab driver as “shouting some jihad s–t,” according to a collection of tweets posted on website,

Neighbors were questioned and refused to comment, other than saying they weren’t surprised to hear she’s part of this.

You can read more here, where there are photos of the two young men charged. I would like to think this will set an example to the rest of the bullies out there who have something against gays. Be afraid. That’s right. We deserve to walk down the street anywhere in America without having to worry about getting beaten, bashed, or called names.

Most Evil Women in History

Men always seem to get the most attention when it comes to crime and the most vicious acts in society. In an ironic sense, women criminals are often discriminated against. I think that should be balanced out. In an attempt to disabuse people of this sexist stereotype, this next link will lead you to photos of some of the most evil women in history. These women are more along the lines of Mary Ann Cotton, the old fashioned killers who went after people with their own names. I thought it was interesting.

When Mary Ann found out that she would receive payments for the death of a family member, she wasted no time. She murdered 21 people via arsenic poisoning, 12 of which were her own children. She also killed several husbands and even her own mother just to make a quick buck.

You can see the rest here.

Neil Patrick Harris: Lady and the Tramp; Neil Patrick Harris Wedding Tears; Mr. Gay Iceland Raped

Neil Patrick Harris Lady and the Tramp

If you like schmaltz, you’ll love this one (I do…like schmaltz). Neil Patrick Harris and husband did a video parodying the spaghetti scene from Lady and the Tramp. I saw a tweet about this same scene the other day, totally unrelated to Harris, and I was amazed at how many people didn’t even get it.

In any event…

But what is getting the most attention is the adorable reenactment Harris and Burtka do of the classic spaghetti eating scene from the animated Disney film Lady and the Tramp.
Harris is also promoting a book I probably won’t get a chance to read. I usually wait for reviews to see what’s in any celebrity bio or memoir. It’s got to be a little edgy to keep my attention, and I’ve been burned too many times by celeb books that weren’t, that I thought were a complete waste of time and money (big publishers). Tell me something I didn’t know before, like Barbra Walters did in her book. I’ll still be watching Harris’ book.  
Neil Patrick Harris Wedding Tears
I didn’t want to turn this entire post into a Neil Patrick Harris tribute, but this is also the kind of schmaltz I love…because it’s true. Harris admits to getting very emotional during his wedding vows.

‘It was so crazy,’ he told Rosie O’Donnell and Whoopi Goldberg during an interview this week on The View.

‘When you watch other people say their vows and they get all choked up you think, “Come on, pull it together.” Then when you’re standing there and it’s you, you can’t help but get super duper choked up.’

And that’s exactly how it works. I didn’t think I’d get emotional during our wedding, especially because we had a film crew shooting the entire thing. I thought I’d be a nervous wreck. In fact, I was sorry I’d agreed to do it. As it turned out, I was gone the moment we started reciting the vows. The film crew was wonderful and I forgot they were even there. The magnitude of it all just hits, especially when you been together for over twenty years, and something weird happens that’s hard to explain.

You can read more here.

Mr. Gay Iceland Raped

These stories interest me because for so long male rape has been ignored and pushed under the proverbial rug. And the fact is that male rape is relevant and damaging, and the shame that goes along with it. In this next link Mr. Gay Iceland, Troy Jónsson,  talks about how he was raped as a child by his brother’s friend.

You can read the entire story here. This is just a small excerpt of the detailed experience, quoted exactly as it was published.

He told me “just bend over, bend over” and I said “no, no” and he put his hand on my shoulder and bent me over and said “I promise it won’t hurt, just try it”. And he had inserted and I was like, “this really hurts, I can’t do with it” but he kept repeating “just go with it, just go with it”.’

The rape lasted less than five minutes.

‘He was in control, he was “just go with it, it’s not going to hurt, stop complaining”. But you could see how scared he was. He was very afraid he would be discovered.

It really does hurt, even when you’re an adult and you’re not sure what you’re doing. It takes a while to figure out how to do it so you can enjoy it and it doesn’t hurt, especially with highly aggressive men. I can’t even imagine how horrible it would be to be forced into doing it that way. But I hope more men who’ve been assaulted this way…and have been assaulted by women because that happens, too…continue to speak up about it.

.99 Gay Romance
Jonah Sweet of Delancey Street
by Ryan Field

A real, honest Amazon review for Jonah Sweet of Delancey Street that wasn’t paid for or gamed to build the Amazon Rating…

4.0 out of 5 stars JONAH SWEET OF DELANCEY STREET, January 23, 2013

Verified Purchase(What’s this?)
This review is from: Jonah Sweet of Delancey Street (Kindle Edition)
Ryan Field, writes good stories. A story about someone who fails at everything, he has no light at the end of the tunnel. He lives with his parents, he has no hope in life. Read the book, you will love it.


OMG: Bad Reviews; Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie Wed; HIV Via Facebook Message; Writing African American Characters; He Bit Off His Penis, Michael Sam in the Showers

OMG: Bad Reviews

First, I don’t know this blogger/author, I came across this by accident on Facebook, and when I post about things like this on the blog they don’t reflect my own opinions…as an author or a blogger.

Second, I don’t really know what else to say…it’s one of those things you have to see to believe…other than I’ve never seen anything like this that was meant in a serious way. Maybe it is a joke? I’m not sure.

A one-star review adds a sense of authenticity. It shows that someone you don’t know has read your book, even if that person is clearly deranged.

Third, that’s the nicest one.

You can read the rest here.

Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie Wed

I’m posting about this because Pitt and Jolie once stated they wouldn’t marry until gay marriage was legal in the US. This was back when we were all so unsure about whether or not gay marriage would ever be legal. I thought that was one of the most genuine acts of support I’ve ever seen from a straight couple. (No straight couples I know did that in support of Tony and me.) And they didn’t get married. They put it off until just recently. I think the statement Pitt made was about as on target as it gets…about getting married. Tony and I have been together for twenty-two years and we didn’t “get” the magnitude of it all until we were married last year in Vermont by Supreme Court Justice, Beth Robinson. Most gay couples I know in long term relationships say basically the same thing.

“It’s an exciting prospect, even though for us, we’ve gone further than that,” Pitt told The Associated Press in an interview in November 2012. “But to concretize it in that way, it actually means more to me than I thought it would. It means a lot to our kids.”

You can read more about the wedding here.

HIV Via Facebook Message

This is piece of news stunned me when I first read it, and I’m still in disbelief. Evidently, a young man was infected with the HIV virus by a guy he thought he was in love with, and it only devolves from there. Through a facebook message, the guy who was infected discovered that the man he was in love with infected him on purpose. It was not only intentional, but there’s evidence that the guy was bragging about how many other people he’s infected with HIV.

His accuser claims that he and Guerra had been in a serious, year-long relationship and had been talking about getting married when he received a Facebook message from an ex-boyfriend of Guerra’s warning him about the man. He soon learned he was HIV-positive. He also claims to have found shocking text messages on Guerra’s phone, bragging to his friends about infecting people.

“Texts where he’s stating he’s negative to people then bragging to others about giving people his ‘positive load.’ It’s crude, it’s… I don’t know how someone could treat another individual like that,” he said.

Aside from the obvious moral and ethical issues here, it should be interesting to see how this is handled in court.

You can read the rest here.

Writing African American Characters

Earlier this week I shared a post on social media titled, If White Characters Were Described Like People Of Color In Literature. It’s an interesting article because it shows how ridiculous it would look to everyone if white characters were written the same way we often see people of color written…those cheesy descriptive sentences like these below, but this time they’re describing white characters poorly to show the insensitivity, and well, lack of writing skills in general…

9. He traced his fingers along her supple, cauliflower skin.
10. She stepped out of the car and was delighted by the cool summer breeze that brushed against her legs. She had been sitting in the sun earlier and welcomed the relief of this fresh air on her mayonnaise legs.
I think this could apply to all characters of all races. And this is only my opinion, but I have a strict rule about this whenever I write non-white characters. I don’t think it’s being too politically correct. I actually follow this rule in every aspect of my life. And the only thing I do is keep it simple. I don’t call attention to a character’s race unless it’s important to the storyline in some way. When, and if, I mention race I keep it short and simple and get right to the point. In other words, I don’t think it’s necessary to go into exaggerated details when writing any character of any race. Because when you do that you wind up with white people who have supple cauliflower skin and mayonnaise legs. Or even worse…
3. His eyes looked like eyes because they were eye-shaped, not almonds.
He Bit Off His Penis
This is something you don’t hear often, but you often wish you did. When an Australian man tried to rape another man by forcing his penis into the other man’s mouth, the other man bit it off. Yup. He gave him exactly what he deserved without waiting for karma to do it for him.
The story goes like this: Man #1 met Man #2 at a nightclub on Saturday night. After pounding back a few drinks, they went back to Man #1′s apartment in Chermside, a suburb outside of Queensland. And that’s when things took a turn for the worst.
Shortly after arriving at the apartment, Man #2 alleges that Man #1 tried to pin him down and rape him. Man #2 said “No!” and when Man #1 wouldn’t listen, he retaliated by clamping his jaw down on his penis, sinking his teeth into the flesh and causing serious injury and severe bleeding, before fleeing the apartment.
You can read more here. It should be interesting to see how this is treated in court, too. The prosecution wants an “intimate examination” of man #1’s penis injuries.
Michael Sam in the Showers
At first I thought this would be another dumb article, but when I started reading it and I saw how Michael Sam…and all gay men…are being treated (and insulted) I was stunned.
I once posted about how worried everyone was about having gay men in the showers with straight male athletes. This was one of the big concerns when openly gay Michael Sam first came out to the NFL and the world. Now I think we can all agree it’s still an issue and it’s not being put to rest.
Well thank god ESPN is around to ask the tough questions. Like whether or not Michael Sam waits to take a shower alone as to not make the team uncomfortable. Don’t make us send Daniel Radcliffe in there to give the team diversity training, because you know we will.
Of course the reporter is quick to point out that he could be waiting to rinse off for “a million different reasons,” like hanging back to get more practice time or “riding his bike.”
You can see the video here. And here’s what you’ll learn, in short:
Michael Sam is trying to be one of the guys. (Insult)
Sam is trying to feel his way through to see who he can relate to. (Condescending and presumptuous)
Sam allegedly waits to take showers after the rest of them have…this is only speculation right now. (Hearsay by an idiot)
I honestly don’t think I’ve seen a more insulting or condescending video about gay men since James Creepo’s last escapade. And if you don’t see why it’s condescending and insulting my explaining it will not make much of a difference. Fire them both…the reporters. Set an example and do it now so no one ever does this again.
The comments all seem to agree with me.
The Sheriff and the Outlaw
by Ryan Field 

Breaking Stereotypes: Gay Boxing; Grindr, Rape, Philly;

Breaking Stereotypes: Gay Boxing

There’s a new boxing club in New York breaking old stereotypes called Velvet Gloves where gay men can work out in a very different way now, and meet people in the process. Here’s an interview with Vance Garrett, the guy who started the club.

I’ve wanted to do something with and for my group of friends outside of the typical scene for a long time. All of us have been to the parties and clubs, and that can be great, but I think we collectively have wanted something else to do that’s fun — but won’t leave you with a hangover — and fits with our current lifestyles. Working out and wellness in general is important to many of them, and while conditioning for boxing requires being in the best shape possible, I don’t think many would want to step into a traditional boxing gym. Also, boxing has always been a tough man’s sport. It has been marketed as gruesome and intimidating yet it is one of the most beautiful sports to watch. The athletes are as graceful as dancers. It allows you to develop self-defense skills, builds confidence, and is physically AND mentally challenging. So I wanted a club that was tailored just for them-for fun, social guys who want the best workout possible in the best environment possible.

You can read more here. I would join. I jog four or five miles every morning because health clubs annoy me. I’m out to work out, not socialize. I don’t have time. But I’ve never been to a club where I don’t wind up either ducking behind something to avoid someone, or stuck in conversation for at least twenty minutes. Velvet gloves looks like serious working out.

And for those of you who think this is something new. It’s not. Gay men come in all sizes, shapes, and varieties…not just what you’ve seen on Sex in the City.

I’ve actually incorporated a gay boxer character in one of my books, The Actor Learning to Love. It’s a recent novel in the Bad Boy Billionaire series.

Grindr, Rape, Philly

I actually saw this on my local news the other night and was surprised I didn’t see it anywhere online. It took a while, but I spotted it this morning and thought I’d post about it for those of you take chances with web sites like Grindr or Craigslist. A man from Canada who was visiting Philly decided to hook up on Grindr and got more than he bargained for. He was held up at gunpoint, and sexually assaulted.

It didn’t end there. The men then walked together about 15 blocks through the city, with the victim being forced to purchase Visa gift cards and make ATM withdrawals totaling $3,000. Finally, inside a busy bar at 20th and Walnut, surveillance cameras captured the struggle between the two men as the victim escaped.

You can read more here.

I also saw that an Allentown, PA man was murdered while trying to sell his car on Craigslist last week. The guy met a potential buyer from Philadelphia at his place of business, and then he was shot to death and the car was stolen. I get my tenants through Craigslist, and I actually sold my Jag through them recently, too. However, you don’t know what screening is until you’ve contacted me through Craigslist. I turn down far more people than I accept because they did something offhanded during the e-mail process. A huge red flag for me is when someone wants to meet too soon, or call too soon. It’s e-mail and only e-mail in the beginning. Those who are serious don’t mind that. Those who are up to no good, back off. The back and forth e-mail process for me when looking for a tenant or selling anything on CL takes at least a week. And even then I always meet at a very busy, crowded public place for the first time.

You just can’t take anything for granted, especially if you’re visiting a rough, vicious city like Philadelphia. Those of you who live in different places don’t always realize how we live here, and what we have to deal with. All of your worst fears about cities like Philadelphia are most likely true. All of the worst things you’ve heard are probably true, and even worse now because most have never recovered from the economic depression. Don’t trust anyone, especially from an online hook up.