gay parody

Valley of the Dudes FREE Gay Excerpt; Drag Queen Ghostbusters Parody; George Takei Welcomes Gay Characters On Star Trek

Valley of the Dudes FREE Gay Excerpt

I haven’t done a free excerpt in a while, so it’s long overdue. I stopped because life was getting really busy and there was only so much time to fulfill work obligations and family obligations. But things have calmed down lately with the family obligations.

Here’s the blurb and I’ve posted the excerpt below at the bottom of this post.

I’ll post a new introduction to the book that explains more about it (and why I wrote it) tomorrow. And, I’ll put up links as soon as I get them. I don’t have them all yet.

Side note: this is a gay erotic romance parody.

This is the story of several talented young gay men, of their fight for recognition, and of the unexpected price they will pay for getting the fame they so desperately crave. Their lives are charmed in many ways, the secrets they keep hidden rule them, the sex never seems to end, and the gay lives they lead appear magical on the surface. However, beneath all the orgasms and glamour, are the addictions to alcohol, pills, and substances that help them survive in this jungle of ecstasy and fortune…the “Dudes” of the stars. They are the real secrets to success and exploitation and survival in the Valley of the Dudes.

Drag Queen Ghostbusters Parody

Speaking of gay parody…a huge part of gay culture that straight people don’t always understand, or want to understand…this looks like fun. And why not? They’ve been parodying us for years, especially in Hollywood. And it works. 

When there’s something strange in the neighborhood, who you gonna call? Jackie Beat, Lady Red Couture, Bianca Del Rio and Sherry Vine, of course!

The new Ghostbusters movie has been on everyone’s lips for weeks, so what better time than now to release a hilarious drag queen parody? Then, to add a cherry on top of it all, the video guest features RuPaul‘s Drag Race fan favorite Alyssa Edwards.

You can check the video out here.

George Takei Welcomes Gay Characters On Star Trek

In all fairness, I thought it was important to post this about George Takei as a follow up to other stories I’ve posted this week. He’s not okay with Star Trek making an existing character gay for artistic reasons, but he is okay with having gay characters on Star Trek. He claims that most accounts of what he said recently have been “misleading.” Of course I believe him, and I was hoping he would make a statement to clear it up.

Here it is, in part:

On the specific question of Sulu being gay, when I was first approached with the concept, I responded that I hoped instead that Gene Roddenberry’s original characters and their backgrounds would be respected. How exciting it would be instead if a new hero might be created, whose story could be fleshed out from scratch, rather than reinvented. To me, this would have been even more impactful. While I understand that we are in an alternate timeline with the new Trek movies, for me it seemed less than necessary to tinker with an existing character in order to fulfill Gene’s hope of a truly diverse Trek universe. And while I am flattered that the character of Sulu apparently was selected as an homage to me, this was never about me or what I wanted. It was about being true to Gene’s vision and storytelling.

You can read it in full here. It’s a long statement, and I think I agree with it. I was recently placed in a position with Valley of the Dudes where I was asked to change the characters, and I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t think it could be done. We compromised and we reached an agreement and I made a few changes that did work. Whenever something is complete, it’s not always a good idea to change it.

But most of all, I think Takei is spot on when he mentions that this kind of controversy makes for better sales. And they did get attention. I’m not saying it’s right or wrong, but it works.

So while I don’t think anyone will hold this against Takei for feeling the way he does about his art, I thought it was important to post his statement to clear up some of the rumors.

FREE Gay Excerpt Valley of the Dudes

You all know I only post things here on the blog that are SFW. But the book itself is an erotic romance. 

This is from Chapter One…

Rush Goodwin had lived his entire life in a small New England town. He was an only child living with his widowed mother and her spinster sister, and always dreamed of the day he would begin a new life in New York City.

He kept his wavy brown hair at a medium length and wore a thin, well-manicured layer of facial hair on purpose that looked more like five o’clock shadow than an actual beard which he trimmed daily to achieve a scruffy look on purpose. In the right light, his brown hair took on a reddish tint that grew more pronounced in the summertime. And when he wasn’t working, he often wore knitted caps on his head all year long.

He could get away with a lot: he had a handsome face, with a strong square chin, full lips,and deep brown almond-shaped eyes. Though he wasn’t extremely athletic, he had the tight,sculpted body of a young baseball player. When he walked into a crowded room, both men and women looked in his direction.

He didn’t want to move to New York because small town life was bad. Rush had been very fortunate. His mother and his Aunt Julia rarely discussed the fact that he was gay, but they’d accepted his lifestyle, quietly, without any arguments or complaints. They greeted his boyfriend,Harold, with smiles and invited him to dinner on Sundays. When Rush went away on long weekend trips with Harold, they didn’t roll their eyes and look in the other direction. But Rush was eager to experience more in life than what he’d always known. He craved these new experiences with such fortitude there were times he couldn’t sleep at night.

So one cold snowy day, not long after he’d received his law degree, he told his mother and his aunt he was moving to New York. (He’d been planning the move in his head for a while and he’d already passed the New York Bar Exam so that he could legally practice law in New York.)This happened on a Friday evening. They had just finished dinner and Rush was waiting for Harold to pick him up. Rush sat down on a footstool in front of his mother’s favorite wing chair and leaned forward. He told her he’d applied to an entertainment law firm, he’d gone on a series of interviews, and they’d offered him a job in New York. He even knew where he could sublet a small apartment; all he had to do was sign the lease. Rush said he hadn’t mentioned his plans earlier because he wasn’t sure whether or not he’d get the job. He’d just found out it was all definite that morning.

His mother stopped knitting and stared at Aunt Julia. She lowered the knitting needles to her lap and raised her eyebrows. Aunt Julia glanced back with large blue eyes as she sat in another wing chair beside a blazing fire, reading a novel she’d already read a dozen times. His mother pressed her lips together and turned her head toward Rush. “Are you absolutely certain about this?” she asked. “You already have a stable position here in Connecticut with an excellent law firm. This sounds awfully impulsive.”

Rush nodded and reached for her hands. “I’m sure. This is something I’ve always wanted to do. The only thing I’m worried about is leaving you both here alone.”

Rush had always been the man in the family. His father had been killed in a car accident when Rush was 12 years old. Since then, Rush had been the one who’d dealt with the plumber,the electrician, and the auto mechanic. The house where he’d grown up was one of those big old brick colonials, with white trim and no shutters. There were white dormers on the third floor and two wide chimneys on both ends of the house. It had been in his mother’s family for over 200years. Supposedly, the basement had been used as a shelter during the days of the Underground Railroad.

His mother took a deep breath and sighed. “We’ll be fine,” she said, nodding at her sister, raising an eyebrow. “But moving to a place like New York is a big decision.”

He smiled. “I know it is. This wasn’t an impulsive decision. I promise. I’ve been thinking about it for a long time.”

“I see,” she said. “When do you leave?”

He squeezed her hands and hesitated for a moment. Her face was still tight and expressionless. “In a couple of weeks,” He said. “I’m worried about you, though.”

“Ah well,” she said, taking a quick breath, allowing her face to soften. “We’ll be just fine.” Then she tilted her head to the left and asked, “What about Harold?”

Rush knew his mother was wondering about whether or not he and Harold were moving to New York together, as a couple. Rush had been with Harold since he was a freshman in college and he’d never dated anyone else. “I haven’t told Harold about this yet.” Part of the reason he wanted to move to New York was Harold. But he didn’t mention this to his mother or his aunt. His mother frowned and gave his aunt a look. She said, “I suggest you tell him as soon as possible.”

“We’re going to the movies tonight,” Rush said. “I was planning to tell him afterwards.” He released his mother’s hands and stood up. He squared his shoulders and asked, “So you’re okay with this?”

His mother shrugged and lifted the knitting needles. As she poked the tip of one needle into a loop of red yarn, she smiled and said, “If this is what you want to do, I’m fine with it. And you’re not moving to the end of the world. You’re only moving to New York. We’ll be just fine here in Connecticut.”

Later that night, while Rush and Harold were leaving the movie theater, Rush told Harold about his plans to move to New York. The theater had been empty and the few people that had been there were bundled up and trotting toward their cars to get out of the cold. Rush’s voice was low and soft and he spoke without a hint of concern. He made his announcement while they were crossing the snowy parking lot to Harold’s car. Harold was still talking about the movie. Harold stopped walking; he faced Rush and furrowed his eyebrows. “You’re doing what?” he asked. His head went up and his strong, patrician chin jutted out.

Rush took a deep breath and stared down at his shoes. In the years they had been together, Harold had always been the one who took control, in a very passive aggressive way. He’d practically planned every moment of their lives, and Rush had let him do it. “I’m moving to New York in a couple of weeks. I have a new job with an entertainment law firm that represents celebrities and I’ll probably sublet an apartment in Chelsea.”

“Have I done something wrong?” Harold asked. His hands were still in his pockets and he was looking directly into Rush’s eyes. He was reacting like a scorned employer when his best worker quits, not like a jilted lover.

Harold had a tendency to think everything that happened between them revolved around him. “It’s not about you, Harold,” Rush said. “It’s me. I’m restless. And you know I’ve always talked about moving to New York.”

There had been many times he’d mentioned how much he wanted to leave New England and move to New York. But Harold was a dentist, and he worked in his father’s established dental practice in New Haven. Whenever Rush suggested Harold could start his own practice in New York, Harold thought he’d lost his mind. There was no way Harold was giving up a successful position to start all over again in New York City. He told Rush they could visit New York any time Rush wanted. But they weren’t moving there full time.

“I know you’ve mentioned it,” Harold said. “But I never thought you were serious about it. After all, we can go to New York whenever we want. We’re not living in Kansas.”

This was part of the problem. Harold liked being a small town boy, and he never seemed to take anything about Rush seriously. But Rush didn’t want to argue. “Don’t be mad, Harold. This isn’t about you. It’s about me. I need to do this. If I don’t, I think I’ll suffocate here. There are times I wake up in the morning to face another day and I honestly don’t think I can breathe.” Harold removed his hands from his pockets and took a step forward. He put his arm around Rush and said, “Let’s get in the car.” Then he lowered his head and nibbled on Rush’s earlobe. “I know how to make you feel better.”

This was another part of the problem. Harold was extremely good looking. He stood over six feet tall, he had the defined, muscular body of a professional athlete from competing in triathlons, and he had droopy, steel blue eyes. His hair was sandy blond and his face looked as if it had been chiseled out of stone. Though Rush and Harold were two very different people who wanted very different things in life, there was a sexual connection between them that went beyond all sense of reason.

Rush pulled away from Harold and said, “I think we should both just go home and talk about this tomorrow. My mind is made up and I’m moving to New York. I have to do this.” He wasn’t officially breaking up with Harold that night. And he wasn’t moving to New York to meet new men. His restlessness went much deeper than that. But he wasn’t sure having sex with Harold tonight was a good idea.

Harold raised an eyebrow and smiled, and then he reached for the back of Rush’s head, in the middle of the snow covered parking lot, and kissed him on the mouth. When he finally removed his tongue from Rush’s mouth, he said, “Let’s get into the car. We haven’t fooled around inside the car in a long time.”

Rush was ready to take another step back. But when Harold reached down and placed his strong hand on the small of his back, he leaned into the left side of Harold’s strong body and followed him to the car. The best part about being with conservative, dependable Harold was that they were both adamantly monogamous, so there was no need for condoms, and it was safe and familiar.

When they reached the car and Harold clicked the locks, Harold opened the back door instead of the front door and practically shoved Rush into the back seat. Harold drove a large, black Yukon; the backseat was spacious and all the windows were tinted with dark film. If anyone had been walking around in the empty parking lot, they wouldn’t have been able to see anything that was happening in the backseat.

Harold followed him into the backseat and pulled off his coat. He leaned forward and switched on the engine to get the car warm. When he sat back, he grabbed Rush’s coat, unzipped it, and pulled it off his body. Rush’s pants were already tight and his erection pointed up so far it reached the waistband. Even if having sex with Harold that night was a mistake, things had already gone too far to end it.

Unabated

Gay Erotic Fiction: Free Excerpt

With so many things happening in the world, I often back away from promoting my own books and focus on issues that deal with things either publishing related or LGBT related. I also don’t like to promote too much because it always feels so awkward. Actually, it feels creepy and declasse.

So I often do the exact opposite and don’t focus much at all on book promotion. Which isn’t fair to readers either. To rectify this, one of my New Year’s resolutions will be to post unpublished excerpts from published works that I think might be of interest. And, offer an explanation as to why I wrote the book and what the general theme behind the book is. I find it much easier to do this after the book’s been pubbed and sold what I’d hoped it would sell at the time. That distance for me is important because I can talk about the book more candidly.

Here’s one from “Ricky’s Business.” This book was a parody of the old film, “Risky Business,” with Tom Cruise. I’d like to emphasize the word parody this time. What makes it a parody is that it’s highly erotic with detailed sex scenes, and the characters are gay. And while it does NOT go scene by scene from the film, and I did deviate from most of the storyline in the film because it didn’t work for the book, I’ve always been up front about it and never kept it a secret that I’ve done this with gay fiction.

If I had been trying to hide it I wouldn’t have titled the book “Ricky’s Business.” That wouldn’t make sense. But more important, I would never parody a *gay* film…unless I were to write a book with straight characters. I would NOT try to re-tell the “Brokeback Mountain” story because that wouldn’t work. My focus with these het mainstream romance films is to give gay readers something they didn’t get for so long. And, to try to do it with a sense of humor. Not all sex scenes have to be taken seriously, especially with books designed purely for escapism.

In any event, here’s the excerpt. It’s g-rated because this blog is g-rated. But the book itself has more than a few explicit gay sex scenes. If I had to describe the book in a sentence, I would focus on the fact that it’s a gay coming of age story with a character who finally discovers what he truly loves in life: men and money.

Chad exhaled and released Ricky. He pushed Ricky forward and took two steps to the right. “Look, Ricky, if you want to be friends, I don’t want you judging me. I did what I had to do after I graduated from high school. And I’ve worked hard to be good at what I do. It wasn’t easy losing the Staten Island accent. But I did that by watching and listening to wealthy male clients.”

Ricky looked into his eyes. “I didn’t mean anything. I wasn’t judging.” He was telling the truth, he didn’t understand Chad’s sudden change in tone.

“We’re standing next to your father’s expensive boat, at your father’s expensive yacht club, and your father’s expensive foreign car is parked over there. It’s easy for you to judge me. You have it all.” Then he turned his back on Ricky and walked toward the club house.

Ricky let out an exasperated sigh. He stood there, naked, with his arms spread wide, and asked, “What did I do?”

Chad continued walking; he didn’t look back.

“C’mon, Chad,” Ricky said. “I didn’t mean anything. Don’t get mad.”

When he realized Chad was not going to turn around, he slapped his forehead and stomped on the grass. Then, without thinking, he bent down to get his jeans and his naked ass bumped into the rear fender of the Porsche. He heard crunching twigs; his head went up, his eyes widened. And when he turned and saw that his father’s Porsche was slowly moving forward toward the dock, he dropped his pants and ran to the driver’s side.

Only the door was locked and the keys were still in his pants pocket. So he ran to the back of the car and fumbled with his jeans. The faster his fingers moved the harder it seemed to grasp the keys. Did his hands grow or did his pockets shrink? He heard the keys jingling around, but he’d forgotten which pocket he’d put them in and had to check them all. Of course they were in the last pocket he searched, and by that time the car had slowly crept up to the dock and was heading toward the lake.

On the way down, he ran so fast he tripped over a rock and the keys went airborne and landed in a row of azalea bushes that had a fresh fertilizer/horse-farm smell, as if they’d been recently mulched. He knew there wasn’t enough time to find them in the dark, so he ran down to the dock in his bare feet, stepped in front of the Porsche stark naked, and tried to stop the car with his hands. The car was in the middle of the dock and it was moving faster.

He pressed hard on the hood and started shouting. “No! Someone help! This can’t be happening!” His parents had only gone away on a short trip. And in the time they’d been gone he’d lost his mother’s putto, become tangled with a male prostitute, been threatened by a pimp, gone on a high speed chase through mid-town Manhattan, and now he was about to sink his father’s car in the lake. “Fuck no.”

He pushed the front of the car until his hands ached. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get a good enough stance. His bare feet kept sliding on the rough dock, the car continued to inch forward. And as it reached the end of the dock, he jumped up on the hood and went down on his back to avoid being run over.

When the car reached the edge, with less than an inch to spare, it stopped moving. Ricky remained sprawled across the hood dead still, on his back, with his arms and legs spread wide, exposing his entire body. Everything around him turned silent. His heart pounded in his ears; his stomach felt as if it was in his throat. He looked up at the sky and exhaled with relief. Then he gazed down at the water with his mouth open wide. There was hope; this wasn’t so bad. All he had to do was carefully get up and find the keys in the bushes. It was all good and he still had time to save the car from ruin.

But as Ricky lifted his shoulders and moved his right leg, he heard a crunch from below the dock. Then he heard two or three splits and one large crack. The end of the dock collapsed, there was a sudden jerk and Ricky’s legs went up. He screamed for help as loud as he could. But it was too late for anyone to save him. The Porsche rolled forward and slipped into the lake with a quiet splash, almost as if it had crawled into the water in slow motion. As it sank to the bottom of the lake nose first, Ricky slid off the hood, tumbled to his side, and landed face first in the ice cold water.