Category: Gay Men Speaking Up

Thank You Tuc Watkins; Straight Guys Kissing; Washington Florist Gay Hate

Thank You Tuc Watkins

Update Below

Remember yesterday’s post, where I linked to a piece about Jesse Ferguson of Modern Family responding to a negative comment made by another actor, Tuc Watkins? Evidently, Watkins isn’t letting Ferguson get the last word. This time Watkins offered a brilliant apology, plus an explanation that I found excellent.

Dear Jesse,
I’m glad to see that a FB post can stoke a fire that burns in the LGBT community, and supporters of our community.

Many doors have opened in gay people’s fight for equality. Civil rights, marriage rights, and depictions of us individually and collectively on television. Great strides have taken us from tolerance into acceptance and towards true equality.
Stereotypes still exist. They probably always will. And while the truth is usually somewhere in the middle, stereotypes polarize us. No news there. But while an explanation of a stereotype can make good, logical sense, it still leaves the stereotype intact.
I’m glad to have played gay characters, but at the same time have been frustrated by the stereotypes I feel I’ve been party to in playing those roles. I’ve begged wardrobe designers so I wouldn’t have to wear paisley shirts, directors to reconsider a “snap” at the end of a scene, and writers to remove ‘Hey, gurl!’ from dialogue.
I did it because when I was growing up, trying to figure out where I fit it in, I couldn’t seem to locate a role model. The stereotypes I saw made me think, ‘Well, I don’t identify with that so I must not be gay.’
I can appreciate that one man’s roadblock may be another man’s role model. I feel like my growth was stunted, but understand that another person’s may have been bolstered. I believe that, as a community we want to make the path easier for those who come after us. I want that. I’m certain you do to.
Some audience members can laugh through a character, but it can also distance others. We each come to the fight with our own baggage…as well as our own weaponry. ‘Revolutionary times call for revolutionary means.’ My comments were extreme, and my use of the word ‘blackface’ inexcusable. I regret creating dissension among the ranks, especially when we’re all in this fight together.
I see your point. I hope you’ll consider mine.

I think that was well done, and now I know who Tuc Watkins is…very attractive and smart. I don’t think either of them are wrong, but I do understand Watkins’ POV better than Ferguson’s simply because I can identify better. But, the bigger picture here is that at least we’re seeing this dialogue happening now. I’ve been waiting all my life to see this. I used to wonder, aren’t there any other gay people out there with whom I can identify?And I know I’m not the only one who feels that way.

Thank you Tuc Watkins for getting this out there.

You can check out the link here where there’s a photo of Watkins.

Update: I think it’s interesting to note that since Tuc Watkins made his statement I’ve watched his facebook page and it seems as though other gay men sent him friend requests. It’s the first thing I did when I read what he had to say. Maybe it’s coincidence, maybe not. But it is interesting. This is from Watkins timeline: “How does a person accept 11365 friend requests with one click?”

Straight Guys Kissing Men

This is pure clickbait, but I think interesting.

They’ve imagined what if would be like if straight people had to come out, pried self-professed straight guy to dish on hot male celebrities, and even convinced straight besties to look at each other naked for the first time. You know, for science.

But that was all just a warmup for this — straight guys kissing men for the first time

You can check out the rest here. Some of the comments are interesting, too. One doesn’t understand why Buzz Feed is so interested in this or why it’s of significance to gay men. I do. Gay men find it fascinating, and for many it’s even a sexual turn on. No one else is willing to admit that aloud. 
Here’s one comment I love: 
These are friends. Not strangers. It’s within the context of their social relationship. Given the situation in a public environment and strangers, not even the gays would want to kiss a total stranger.
Actually, it’s the other way around for me. I’m not into kissing friends in an intimate way like that. I think it’s a little creepy. I have, however, kissed total strangers and loved it…depends on what the guy looks like. I guess to each his own.
Washington Florist Gay Hate
There’s a woman florist in Washington D.C. who won’t greet gay wedding guests in spite of the fact that no one really asked her in the first place. It’s really a confusing article with mixed messages…but I get it.
She’s had a couple of gay men for customers for years and when they asked her to do the flowers for their wedding she refused based on her religious convictions. So the gay customers are suing her.
Before filing a suit against her, state attorney general Bob Ferguson gave her the opportunity to reconsider her stance, but she stood her ground, citing artistic freedom. (If you’re scratching your head on that one, her claim was that making floral arrangements “is a creative process [that] takes artistic talent” and that “all artists consider what they do to be an expression.”)

Now, nearly two years later, Stutzman is back in court. On Friday, attorneys for both the state and the couple asked a judge to find her guilty of discrimination without going through with a trial, arguing that all parties agree on the relevant points of the case.

The strange part about all this is that the gay guys who have been her customers for years liked her, they interacted with her, and thought of her as a friend…until the marriage issue came up.

You can read the rest here. Frankly, I just think people like this are insecure, and very poor businesspeople. No one’s challenging her right to believe whatever she wants to believe. They’re just asking her to treat people with respect and dignity. But the hate goes so deeply it’s hard to rationalize.

Chase of a Christmas Dream