He’s NOT Gay
Frankly, the only reason I’m posting about this debacle is to show how there are still people out there who find shame in being referred to as gay. You can call these blithering idiots anything from vapid douche-bags to brainless buffoons, but don’t call them gay. It pisses me off. In this case it’s an actor, Sahil Kha, who is mixed up in some kind of trashy litigation no one cares about with his former female business partner and the female business partner is telling everyone he’s gay. She needs a kick in the ass, too. He’s claiming he had an affair with this woman and he has photos to prove it.
Khan however is claiming that she spent the money on him as they were having an affair.
‘Ayesha has said so many things about me – that I am gay and that we did not have physical relations – and she has left me no choice but to take all these things to the public,’ Khan was quoted as saying in the Times of India.
Ayesha told Mid-day, ‘There cannot be any personal pictures for the simple reason that there was never a personal relationship. I think his ex-wife was the best person to clarify that.’
Khan’s former wife Negar reportedly said in an interview in July 2005 that she caught her former husband in a ‘compromising position with a man’ in Bangkok when she returned early from her film-shoot.
Whether he’s gay or not isn’t the issue as far as I’m concerned. It’s the strong denial that he’s NOT gay that bothers me the most. Once again, there’s nothing wrong with being gay and why this even comes up makes me want to punch something.
You can read the rest here in more detail. I didn’t really care about the facts in this case. I just wanted to show another example of people who think there’s something wrong with being gay.
In Love With Straight Best Friend
I think this is something that’s been happening since the beginning of time…a gay man falling in love with his straight best friend. In the past this has always been unrequited love, never to be mentioned aloud. In almost all cases the straight friend never even knew it was happening. Evidently, things are changing to a certain degree.
Star-crossed love is one thing, but falling for someone who isn’t interested in romance with your entire gender is an impossible hurdle to jump. And it’s sadly all too often a scenario when gay guys fall for their straight best friends.
Things get confusing, and fast. The male bonding that the straight friend enjoys so much can easily turn into butterflies in the stomach for the gay friend, always wondering if the friendly affection might one day mean more.
They list fifteen anonymous comments on the topic from people who have experienced this first hand. You can read them here.
At least we’re talking about it now, and without shame.
Leelah Alcorn’s Mom Speaks
Leelah Alcorn is the transgender teen who recently died after writing an online suicide note. She was run over by a tractor-trailer and police are investigating this as a suicide. In the note she left she went into detail about how hard it was to deal with her parents and her sexual identity. This is really one of the saddest stories I’ve heard in a long time.
This is part of what she wrote:
‘The only way I will rest in peace is if one day transgender people aren’t treated the way I was, they’re treated like humans, with valid feelings and human rights. Gender needs to be taught about in schools, the earlier the better.
‘My death needs to mean something. My death needs to be counted in the number of transgender people who commit suicide this year. I want someone to look at that number and say “that’s fucked up” and fix it. Fix society. Please.’
This has been so compelling and has had such a strong reaction from so many people Leelah’s mom is now speaking out…in a lame attempt to defend herself.
‘We don’t support that, religiously … But we told him that we loved him unconditionally. We loved him no matter what. I loved my son. People need to know that I loved him. He was a good kid, a good boy.’
Carla Alcorn says her child came to her only once to talk to her about being transgender, and that she had never asked to be called Leelah. She says the first time she heard the name Leelah was when she read the suicide note.
She said that she knew her child was depressed, and had seen counselors and a psychiatrist, who had prescribed Leelah medication, but after that time, ‘He just quit talking about it [being transgender]’.
This conflicts with Leelah’s suicide note, which paints a picture of a trans teenager who had been at odds with her parents for some time over her desire to transition.
It has also emerged that Leelah posted a message on Reddit two months ago in which she also talked about wanting to see a gender therapist but was instead sent by her parents to see Christian therapists who she felt didn’t understand her.
She ended that note by saying: ‘Please help me, I don’t know what I should do and I can’t take much more of this.’
I don’t doubt for one instant that Leeah’s parents loved her. Of course they did, but with conditions. I think it’s significant to notice that in her mom’s statements her mom never once uses “she” as a pronoun. It’s always “he.” That tells me everything I need to know in only one word.