Category: gay divorce

Trans Teacher in Texas; Fist of Awesome Gay Bear; Johnny Weir Again

Trans Teacher in Texas

Last week a posted about a trans substitute teacher in Texas who was fired because a parent complained about her. This article mentions she’s been allowed back, but with a few very discriminatory stipulations, one of which is they won’t allow her around children.

She agreed this week to accept a full-time position outside the classroom that will last through the end of the school year.

‘I said I’m willing to do whatever because I really need a paycheck,’ Klug tells Lone Star Q. ‘It doesn’t make me very happy, but I think it should placate them [the parents] somewhat.’

You can’t blame her for taking the job. She needs the money. At least I can never fault anyone for doing whatever they have to do to make a living, especially in times like this where most people are making barely enough to survive and people like Hillary Clinton are making two hundred thousand dollars plus for each speech they give on the topic of income inequality.

In any event, you can read more here. It’s very disturbing.

Fist of Awesome Bay Bear

I don’t play video games much, but the title of the game, “Fist of Awesome,” sounds so familiar to me. But I just can’t place it. In any event, there’s a video game out called “Fist of Awesome” and the creator of the game says that he intended the main character in the game to be a gay bear. And he did this for some very important reasons.

‘When I started making Fist of Awesome I always intended for the main character, Tim Burr, to be gay,’ Hunt said.

‘It wasn’t something that affects the gameplay in anyway, it was just something the player would discover at the very end of the game. For a game that sells itself pretty hard on the whole beards and bears thing, ending the game with the understanding that Tim was a ‘bear’ all along somehow seemed appropriate.’

You can read more here.

He also says it’s his way of creating equality in games. Bravo!!

Johnny Weir Again

The divorce battle continues with Johnny Weir and husband, Victor Voronov. And this time Voronov is talking about Weir’s behavior…trust me, you won’t be shocked.

‘What he’d done to me is unforgiveable. Morally irrepressible,’ he says. ‘The most conniving behavior I’ve ever seen anybody do. But that doesn’t take away from the fact that I love him.’


You can read more here if your stomach can take it. And here are a few previous posts about Weir and why he thought it was more important to support the Russian Olympics than it was to support equality.

These people never seem to go away.

Johnny Weir’s Single; Anne Rice, Bully Petition, Amazon Anons

Johnny Weir’s Single

Johnny Weir is making the news again, and this time it’s about a separation from his husband and domestic abuse charges filed in New Jersey where Weir allegedly bit his husband.

Further details of the split were scarce, as pointed out, Weir’s Twitter handle has been changed from “Weir-Voronov” back to “Weir.”
News of the split comes just weeks after Weir reportedly appeared in a New Jersey courtroom on charges of domestic violence against his husband. At the time, Weir-Voronov asked the judge to dismiss the charges, in which he alleged that Weir had bitten him during a dispute, according to Radar Online. The dismissal was granted, according to the report.

There’s more here.

Weir-Voronov, Weir’s husband, once made comments about his marriage to good old Bethenny Frankel who tends to treat gay men like pet poodles. I posted about that here.

In one scene, Bethenny and an older woman with a very negative attitude go shopping. And guess where they go? That’s right. To the gay guys who own a posh high end furniture gallery in New York. I think Ms. Frankel even commented about how much she loves to visit her “boys,” (meaning her gay male friends) on her way into the gallery. This scene mirrored every single offensive “Sex in the City” scene with gay men being treated like women…just one of the girls…I’d ever witnessed. Tony and I watched for a few minutes, rolled our eyes, and promptly changed the channel.

In any event, here’s what Weir said about his marriage, and what Weir-Voronov said to Frankel.

Weir, whose NBC stint was generally well received, told Access Hollywood last month that his marriage was “constant fireworks,” adding, “We’re both constantly trying to fight to wear the pants in the relationship.”

Side note…here’s a link to a photo of Weir allegedly “wearing the pants.”

Meanwhile, Weir-Voronov, who tied the knot with the U.S. figure skater on New Year’s Eve in 2011, told Bethenny Frankel last year that he had not come out of the closet to his family until one month before the wedding.

“I told my family a month before we got married, and my friends only found out in People magazine,” Weir-Voronov, who claims he knew he was gay as a child, told Frankel. “I didn’t come out of the closet, I chainstormed the door down … I’m a masculine guy, people [didn’t expect it].”

You can read more about that here.

My only comment about any of this is that I hope no one out there really thinks all gay men are like Weir. We’re nothing like that, so please just trust me on this. Weir doesn’t represent anyone in particular in the gay community. He’s just there.

Anne Rice, Bully Petition, Amazon Anons

I haven’t thought much about the petition at I posted about previously that author, Anne Rice, seems to be endorsing. I haven’t seen much posted about it either, at least not in my online travels. And I tend to focus on LGBTI issues and publishing related pieces. But with a simple search I saw that it hasn’t disappeared. In fact, it’s gained more signatures and is only a few shy of the original goal. But even more important, there was a bully related issue regarding something else I posted about recently that I didn’t even know fell under the bully category at the time I posted about it. It never even occurred to me this might happen.

In this post of mine titled, J.K. Rowling Gets Slammed, I wasn’t fond of a few comments author Lynn Shepherd made about Rowling…in a general sense. (You can find more links at my post.) But I used my own name, and at the end of the piece I even updated with info linking to Shepherd’s web site with a few compliments about the site. I still stand by what I posted, and I did it with my own name. I respect Shepherd’s right to an opinion even though I disagreed with her. But as a result of Shepherd’s article slamming Rowling I recently read that her Amazon pages were bombarded with one star reviews left by anons who admittedly didn’t even read her books. This isn’t the first time I’ve seen this happen, sadly.

 Author bullying has long been a problem on online sites Amazon and Goodreads, where users can hide under pseudonyms while they attack authors they dislike. Numerous authors have reported organized campaigns against them, which has led to sites such as Stop the Goodreads Bullies and the opposing site Readers Have Rights. Amazon bullying was most recently in the news when U.K. mystery writer Lynn Shepherd called upon Harry Potter scribe J.K. Rowling to stop writing and reviewers flooded her Amazon pages with one-star reviews while admitting to never having read her books.
Read more at ONTD:

As a result of what happened to Shepherd I’ve heard that many people who were on the fence about signing the petition broke down and signed it anyway…claiming the abuse of power with anonymous commenting has gotten way out of control and they are sick and tired of dealing with it. I hear more are planning to sign it. I’m still not certain the petition will do anything, but at this point I do agree that something should be done. It’s not just books and authors and Amazon. It’s everywhere online you find anonymous commenting.

You can read the full petition here and sign if you are so inclined. Or, you can simply just dismiss all Amazon reviews as being ridiculous as so many have already done. Which is a shame because I’ve left my own Amazon reviews and I hate to see that happen.

As of now the petition has 7,265 supporters. And, they make it very clear this isn’t about leaving bad reviews.

Overwhelming Irony; Legal Gay Divorce

When it comes to getting a legal gay divorce, there are so many new issues popping up, and it gets so complicated, I’m not going to even try to grasp all the issues in one small post. One thing is certain right now: if you don’t live in a state where gay marriage is legal and you marry in a state where it is legal things can get complicated if you ever decide to divorce. If this article is correct, there could be a few serious ramifications.

The article from The Washington Post mentions a few interesting points that I didn’t know (or understand). Tony and I are still trying to figure out how the recent SCOTUS ruling is going to relate to us because we live in the State of PA. Our attorney is gay, and he practices in Princeton, NJ, and in Bucks County, PA, so at least we’re getting good advice for both states if gay marriage should become legal in NJ and we decide to move there (NJ is only a mile away).

But when it comes to divorce for gay couples, I think we’re only beginning to see the first of many issues to come.

Currently, none of the 50 states requires residency as a prerequisite for a marriage license. In other words, straight people can drive to Las Vegas from anywhere and get married at the Elvis chapel.

BUT it’s different with gay couples:

Divorce is solely the province of state law. If a couple who were wed in New York but live in Philadelphia want to be divorced, well, they can’t be. Not only is same-sex marriage prohibited in Pennsylvania — the court’s landmark ruling in United States v. Windsor does nothing to change that — but Pennsylvania’s “mini DOMA,” passed in 1996, provides that such a marriage entered into elsewhere is “void in this Commonwealth.” And if Pennsylvania doesn’t recognize you as being married, its courts have no authority to divorce you.

This is why I say that Tony and I are waiting right now: because we live in the Commonwealth of PA. I’ve been asked by several people if we are getting married now that the SCOTUS ruling changed the lives of so many other gay couples. But if we did go to New York and we were married there, we want to know what that means for us because we live in PA. So for many gay couples the SCOTUS ruling was a huge event. Yet for others who live in states like PA, we still have to worry. And from what I’m gathering, the complications go deeper than what I can write in this one post. This is why we have been talking with our attorney, whom we trust completely.

This next part is very interesting, and yet another reason we’re talking to our attorney.  Tony and I have several good friends who are PA residents and they are going up to Provincetown to get married this summer, where marriage is legal in MA, and I have to wonder if they really know what they are doing. I know that no one ever gets married with the thought of getting divorced, but I’m also a realist and I know that life happens sometimes. Cute, attractive young gay guys come along and middle aged gay men go through mid-life crisis just like straight men and women (trust me on this). The biggest shock of my life so far was when my ex-sister-in-law divorced my younger brother…an even bigger shock to him!! So shit does happen, and it can happen to all of us.

So the unhappy couple is stuck unless one of them moves to a state that will a) recognize their marriage; and b) lives there long enough to satisfy the residency requirement. What happens if neither spouse does this and one of them wants to marry someone else? She can’t. Because she’s still married. The irony is overwhelming: Gay people have fought so hard for marriage equality and now, when some of those marriages fail, they need to fight for the right to get divorced.

The irony IS overwhelming, and I can only suggest one thing to any gay couples who are thinking of getting married right now. Make sure you know where you stand legally if you live in a state where same sex marriage is NOT recognized. Don’t listen to idiots who don’t know what they are talking about either. Get good solid legal advice first. I’ve been with Tony for over twenty years and even though we’ve always been diligent about legal matters that involve power of attorney in all forms, I still am not sure what the SCOTUS ruling means for us at this particular time. And I wouldn’t even begin to hand out any advice…other than get legal counsel…at this point in time.

Gay Couples Getting Legal Issues In Order, Including Divorce

This post about gay couples getting wills in order wasn’t planned today. But I recently witnessed a situation that made me think about this more than usual and I figured I’d post something for those gay couples who have not taken the time to deal with wills and estates. Without legalized marriage on a federal level…I repeat: a FEDERAL level…this is extremely important.

And I’m not talking specifically about covering each other if one person in the relationship passes away or gets sick. I’ve gone there before with things like power of attorney and I’ll do it again at some point. That’s just as important as what I’m going to mention now, because if you don’t deal with these things while you’re alive and healthy you’re going to wind up screwed over big time….and so is your partner.

This post is more about your intentions, and how you’d like things to be carried out when you’re gone. About thirteen years ago Tony and I lost two very good old friends who had been together for forty years. They literally died within a year of each other, in spite of a fifteen year age difference, and I always thought the last one died from a broken heart. I’ve seen this often in long term gay relationships, especially when there are no children involved. Thankfully, these two men had their affairs in order, so to speak. When the first one passed, the survivor was protected and covered from money grubbing nieces and nephews…or those distant cousins you never hear from unless there’s money involved. Tony and I watched carefully, and we followed what they did with our own wills. Without this legal protection gay couples have nothing. And even with legal protection things can get confusing if family members decide to contest. At least it’s not easy for them.

But what about if something happens to both people in a gay relationship at the same time? Suppose the gay couple is killed in a car accident, or something just as bad happens. This is one of those issues that isn’t always addressed, and it’s just as important for straight couples who don’t have children and haven’t planned ahead (I’m assuming those with kids do this without thinking about it). Most of the gay couples I know who have been together for a long time have accumulated assets and I think it’s important to be prepared for anything. I would hate to think all Tony and I have worked for all our lives would wind up going to people we weren’t close to at all. So you need someone you can trust completely to handle these things and make sure your wishes and intentions are carried out. And that doesn’t always have to be a family member. It just has to be someone you care about and trust.

It’s just as important for single gay men, too. I know a gay man who isn’t in a relationship at this point and he decided to bypass his brothers and sisters in case anything happens to him and leave his entire estate to nieces and nephews. That’s his choice; there’s nothing wrong with that. And at least it sounds as if he’s prepared. In our case, Tony and I have one person appointed as executor, and then whatever we have would be divided between brothers and sisters. I personally don’t feel an obligation to nieces and nephews at this point in my life. I love them all, but I believe the next in line should be the people I grew up with: brothers and sisters. But everyone feels differently. We know one couple who can’t stand anyone in their family and they’ve left everything they have to charity in case something happens to both of them at the same time. We know another couple who left everything to friends. I see nothing wrong with that either.

You just have to be sure you’re prepared. So don’t put it off, and don’t forget about your pets. If something happens to both people in a gay relationship and they have pets they want them to be placed in good homes with people they trust. Your intentions are important, and when you’re gay and you don’t have children no one ever seems to consider this.

I’m not even going to get into gay divorce right now. That’s for a future post. But here’s a hint of what that will be about. I know a straight couple who got divorced recently and everything was divided 50/50 right down the line. It was the law; they didn’t have a choice. I also know a gay couple who got “divorced,” but because their marriage wasn’t recognized on a FEDERAL level everything they had was divided 80/20, including what was left after the sale of their home. And the one who wanted the divorce…the one who left his partner in mid-life crisis for someone twenty years younger…wound up getting 80% of everything they’d accumulated in twelve years. And the one who got dumped wound up with 20%. Not fair at all. If they’d been legally married it would have been 50/50. But that’s how it works because gay marriage is NOT legal.

Here’s a link to Rainbow Law in case you don’t have an attorney, where you can read about all this in more depth.

Don’t put it off.

Rainbow Law’s legal documents provide you with the right to:
  • Advance Directives let you authorize your partner (or some other person who is not your legal relative) to make medical and financial decisions for you when you are not able to speak for yourself;
  • A Medical Power of Attorney will authorize your partner to have primary rights to visit you in the hospital;
  • A Disposition of Remains will let your partner to make arrangements for your burial, cremation, funeral or memorial services;
  • A Will or Trust allows you to leave your house and/or other property to your partner or someone else;
  • A Will or Trust lets you disinherit someone who would otherwise have legal rights to inherit your property;
  • A Nomination of Guardian lets you choose your partner or someone else you trust to raise your minor children, and/or to make medical, educational and financial decisions for them until they are old enough to take care of themselves;
  • A Will or Trust lets you make arrangements for the care of your pets;
  • And more…