Robbie Rogers Gay Masculinity; Twinks, Daddies, Jocks; Transgender Fairy Dolls

Robbie Rogers Gay Maculinity

It was hard to title this part of the post. I thought about using “Gay Stereotypes” and a variety of other interesting words often used with respect to gay men. I’ve often talked about how we usually see only one type of gay man portrayed in the mainstream, when the truth is that there are all kinds of gay men and if people really knew this there might not be any stereotypes at all.

But as it stands this is still a discreet topic and many gay men haven’t even come out at all. Many don’t come out because of stereotypes. It’s not a simple topic. The other day I posted on FB about Michael Sam mentioning there are other gay pro football players and one gay guy commented that Sam shouldn’t have said that. The guy who commented thought it might start a “witch hunt.” That floored me a little because even gay people don’t always see the importance of coming out…as difficult as it is to do for all of us. 

In any event, Robbie Rogers is a gay athlete and they’re doing a sitcom about his life. ABC is doing this, which doesn’t give us much hope that it will be either accurate or funny…because it’s network TV. But the main point right now is that Robbie Rogers has asked to have a masculine actor play him in the sitcom, and if this is done right it sounds as though it could be something different for a change…something with which other gay men can identify.

 We want to teach people through laughter and play with stereotypes.

“It’s gotta be someone funny, someone who doesn’t care and someone very masculine; someone you wanna grab a beer with. In a perfect world – he obviously wouldn’t do this and I don’t think I’m anything like him – but someone like Chris Pratt. You know, someone hilarious, good looking but not super fit, you know what I mean? So it looks like he doesn’t go to the gym kind of thing…”

Now you would think that was an innocent comment from Rogers. However, if you move down to the comment thread and see some of the vicious comments left by disgruntled people you would think Rogers killed a kitten. It’s also two-sided and it sparked an interesting discussion.

You can read the rest here.

Twinks, Daddies, Jocks

Here’s a link to an article about the various definitions often used to portray small groups of gay men. It’s interesting because it shows how the gay community can often be so diversified…and it’s hard to argue with any of them, except that they only define small groups. I don’t fit into any of the categories and no one I know does.

Here are two I didn’t even know existed:

Pocket Gay
Petite and small in stature, a pocket gay is a travel-sized homosexual who stands under 5’7, even in shoes, and is often highly sought after the moment he steps into a gay bar.

Short guy
Petite and small in stature, a short guy stands under 5’7, even in shoes, and is overlooked or assumed to be gay when he steps into a straight bar.

I probably could have lived a full and happy life never knowing these labels exist, however, I’m just passing the information on with this one. It’s just one of those topics where you’re not sure whether to laugh or kick something.


You can read the rest here. 

I’d like to know one thing: what about the gay men who own homes, pay taxes, vote, are active members of their communities, and have families? Guess what, they even go to church. You know, the majority of gay men out there in the world today. Your cousin, your neighbor, and even your facebook friend. Never see a name for them anywhere in these trashy clickbait articles.

Transgender Fairy Dolls

I’m not talking about a category or a stereotype this time. There’s a new toy doll out on the market that’s “shocking” parents because it’s a transgender fairy doll. But even that information is sketchy because it could have been a mistake. And I don’t really know enough about transgender people to comment honestly about this, but I would think this might be insulting on a certain level. I could be wrong about that. I really don’t know.

News about the doll broke after a mother claimed her three-year-old daughter discovered the penis under the doll’s skirt. She posted a picture of it on her Facebook account. The story quickly went viral, causing a stir across the country, before eventually turning into a worldwide pandemic among concerned parents.

The toy was made in China. It is unknown whether the penis was intentional on the part of the manufacturers or if was a factory defect, though we’re going to take a wild guess and say it wasn’t intentional.
I will say this. The transgender people I know don’t identify with fairy dolls. They identify with a specific gender, period. Unfortunately, as it stands the comments aren’t too helpful with this one. I was hoping to learn more, but didn’t.
You can read the rest here, with a photo of the doll. 

Chase of a Christmas Dream






420 Pound Gay Man; Meet Your Hot Daddy; Robbie Rogers Greg Berlanti Split; Dallas Grindr Scammer

420 Pound Gay Man

I think the thing that has always bothered me most about gay culture is the thin, perfect stereotype gay men have been promoting for themselves all of my lifetime. They used to parody this well on Will and Grace the TV show. And it’s not just gay culture anymore. It’s everywhere.

It’s why I’ve been on every diet there ever was, it’s why I spent two full years eating nothing but Atkins food, it’s why I still “feel” fat even though I range between 32 and 30 waist size, and it’s why I haven’t actually had ice cream or cake in about two years. It’s partly why I still run 4-5 miles every single morning in all kinds of weather. You reach a point where it becomes a way of life and body image is a huge part of that life. That kind of mentality goes deep into the subconscious. And even if you know better it’s hard to stop worrying about body image. It comes to define you. And nothing rings truer than this article to which I’m linking now.

A gay guy named  Stavros Louca is now talking about his experience as a 420 pound gay man, and very candidly.

“When I attend gay bars, clubs, and cruising areas, people are picking on me because of my obesity,” he said.

As a result, Louca has never had a “one-to-one relationship” with a gay man.

“When I have dated, it’s been with bisexual guys,” he revealed. “I’m looking for a one-to-one relationship with a gay guy now. That’s always been my dream.”

This year, however, he decided to enter the Mr. Gay UK competition and the reception was interesting.

But much to his surprise, the crowd was very supportive, cheering him on throughout the evening.

Louca noted that it was very hard to believe at first, but the icing on the cake came at the end of the night when he was awarded the top prize.

Unfortunately, that support didn’t go very far. Someone else won and his name wasn’t even mentioned…as if he’d never existed at all. They took him out of the competition because the underwear didn’t fit. I’m not sure what kind of underwear it was. That’s not mentioned. 

You can read the rest here. It may be extreme, but I don’t think I know a gay man alive who hasn’t worried about his weight at least once. Not surprisingly, some of the comments are not very sympathetic. They seem to miss the point. Yes, I maintain my weight and body for health reasons, too. But this one goes much deeper than most people seem to realize. Once in a while I’d like a little cake with my diet coke…guilt-free.

Meet Your Hot Daddy

This is another article that has always been important to gay men: age. This one talks about meeting a “hot” daddy. But if you ever watch most “daddy” porn you’ll see that what they consider daddy material is usually a guy in his early thirties. Anything over 36 is beyond the limits.

This one is a little different. They really are middle aged guys who are very attractive.

In a press release, CEO Carl Sandler says he views Daddyhunt “as part of larger trend in gay culture celebrating age, experience and knowledge.”

Emphases on the word experience. The app’s tag lines is “Experience Matters”, and we couldn’t agree more. That’s part of why we admire older guys so much: They know how to treat a man.

“When gay dating apps began replacing bars as the main point of interaction, our community lost some important things–social interaction, casual conversation, the ability to flirt over common interests,” Sandler, who recently turned forty, notes. “I realized that many people yearn for something more than a string of ‘hey’ pings from thumbnail torsos. The Daddyhunt app is a way to bring a sense of shared experience back to gay culture.”

Hell, I was born in 1970 and I think it’s wonderful to see something like this happening. Just watch out for those young rent boys, daddies. They may be after more than your experience. It’s been known to happen.  

You can read the rest here. 

Robbie Rogers Greg Berlanti Split

I haven’t got the foggiest clue in hell as to who these two queens are, but some of you might know them.

There’s some good news for single men, but sad news for one of the most photogenic gay couples on the pop culture front. Soccer star Robbie Rogers and TV producer Greg Berlanti are back on the market. The two have reportedly split after approximately 18 months as a couple, reports Perez Hilton. No reason has yet been announced for the breakup, but Hilton’s source confirms the decision to go separate ways was mutual and the men remain on friendly terms.

Unless the police are called, the odds are I won’t be following up with this one. Gay people can be boring, too.

You can read the rest here.

Dallas Grindr Scammer

The only reason we’re hearing about this guy is because it’s been reported. Many like this go without being reported because the victims want to avoid public scandal.

This one talks about the alleged Grindr scammer, Michael Bellah.

“We chatted for a while and eventually we met and had dinner,” he told the Dallas Voice.

When dinnertime rolled around, Bellah was late. Really late. He didn’t arrive until 10:30 p.m., claiming he had a flat tire. The two men went out to dinner anyway.

During the meal, Bellah lamented to Blake that he needed $100 to pay back the tire store manager by the next day. But not just that. He also said he was stressed out because he owed his ex-wife money for school supplies, and he was strapped for cash because the payroll department at his company was “messed up.”

Needless to say, “I paid for dinner,” Blake said.

Despite everything, Blake told the Dallas Voice that he and Bellah still hit it off, in part because Bellah claimed that he, too, had served in the Air Force.

“Being a divorced gay dad that lost everything when I came out, I knew what it was like to struggle to make ends meet,” Blake said. “I felt sorry for him, and gave him a check for $250 as a loan.”

First, who goes out to dinner with a total stranger who doesn’t show up until 10:30? I wouldn’t even answer the door and I don’t care if it’s Trevor Donovan in a loin cloth dangling the keys to a brand new Porsche Panamera. Second, who gives money to a total stranger without knowing a single thing about him? Seriously.

Evidently, quite a few. It only gets worse from there with a friend getting involved, having another one of those questionable Facebook fundraisers for Bellah, and getting allegedly scammed all over again. One more reason to be wary of Facebook and many of its dubious users.

Don’t give money out to strangers, especially a trick you met on Grindr. It’s not a good thing. There are plenty of reputable charities out there that really need the money for good honest causes.

The rest is here.  

Chase of a Christmas Dream



Fifty Shades for Fifty Cents; Daddy Week P’town



Fifty Shades for Fifty Cents

This isn’t anything all that significant, but this past weekend while running errands I stopped at two garage sales around town and found two copies of Fifty Shades of Grey being sold at different places for fifty cents each.

I wanted to take photos, but didn’t want to infringe on the homeowner’s privacy. But I did ask what they thought of the book and each one said they never finished it…and they’d expected something different.

Daddy Week P’town

This is something new for P’town. I asked two friends who live in P’town part time, and they verified it. There’s an event called “Daddy Days,” which will begin August 10th. It only stands to reason they should have something like this in P’town, with Women’s Week, Family Week, and other events like Bear Week. In this particular case, the event is being sponsored by Daddyhunt social media and will be focused around Crew’s Quarters on Commercial Street. (It’s a nice place.)

However, as with most posts like this, the comments that go along with the “Daddy” article are priceless:

Am I the only one who is creeped out by the term “daddy” ? I mean I call my actual father “daddy” so it’s really strange when it’s in a sexual/romantic context…

this is an honest question … are these daddies like mentors or friends yo younger men or is it strictly a sexual attraction?

This is how the term “Daddy” is defined:

A Daddy in gay culture is a slang term meaning an older man sexually involved in a relationship or having a sexual interest in a younger man. The age gap may differ, but the relationship involves the traditional parental hierarchy of father-son dynamics, the daddy providing emotional support and guidance along with sexual encouragement and nurturing to the inexperienced and vulnerable partner.

If you do a simple search, you can find many things related to this topic.

Photo here