Category: Gay Culture San Francisco

Sorry If I Don’t Cry; Michael Sam’s First Time; Dad Stabs Alleged Trans; Gay Leather Park San Francisco

Sorry If I Don’t Cry

Let me set this up by mentioning a little about my own background. I began working toward a writing career in high school. I majored in English in college and I started submitting short stories to anthologies before I even graduated. Over the course of twenty years (plus) I never once said no to a job, no matter how small, no matter how little it paid, and no matter far down on the publishing chain it fell. I never once said no, and still don’t. Why? Because I only wanted to write. It’s not about being an author; it’s about being a writer. I’ll stop here, without mentioning the rejection I have had and still deal with on a daily basis. I’m really not complaining; I love what I do.

With that said, I’ve noticed this seems to be the year that many authors who were part of the e-book boom have decided to call it quits. Now that e-book sales have leveled off and the e-reader hype is coming to an end, authors who became “writers” because it looked like something fun to do seem to be tiring fast and moving on to other venues. There’s nothing wrong with that. I tell myself at least once a week I’m chucking it all and opening that gourmet cheese shop I always wanted to own. We all make choices and we all have to do what is right for us.

However, you’ll have to pardon me if I don’t sit and cry the blues with you when you decide to give up your “writing career,” especially those of you who’ve been writing for about three days. I’ll sit and cry with my mom who has bile duct cancer, has had Whipple surgery this year, and has been doing chemo since September. I’ll sit and cry with my good friend who just lost her husband to cancer. I’ll even sit and cry with a friend who just had to put her dog down. But there’s no way in hell I’m going to sit and cry with a disillusioned wannabe writer because things didn’t go the way he or she wanted.

Get over yourself. Not everyone is going to be E. L. James and become rich and famous overnight with fan fiction…not everyone wants to be her either. There is nothing easy about writing and publishing and there never was, not in the twenty plus years I’ve been around. It’s filled with rejection and frustration. For every two people who support you there are ten who don’t. So you either buck up and continue, or you fade quietly into the proverbial sunset. I’ll wish you the best, I’ll encourage you when you’re down, but I’m not crying with you. There just isn’t enough time for that.

Michael Sam’s First Time

After being with a man for the first time, Michael Sam claims he knew he was gay. Don’t think that’s unusual. Not every gay man wants to admit this until there’s some kind of epiphany. Sam also gives credit to his fiance for giving him the courage to come out in public.  

‘Vito has been with me for a long time and actually it is because of Vito that I am here tonight to talk to you guys,’ he said.

‘He is the only one who made me comfortable to be who I am; to be comfortable in my own skin. And without him, this would never be possible. I owe him everything.’

Sam proposed to his college boyfriend at the Vatican in December.

The footballer said that he knew he was ‘different’ growing up but he did not know as gay.

‘I didn’t know I was gay, I just knew I was different. But I always knew I had football. So, I was like, you know, when I go to college I will experiment. I will see if – maybe, I’m not gay. Maybe, it’s a phase,’ he said

It’s interesting to note that most gay men feel this way. I did. It’s a phase, it will pass, there’s nothing wrong. But it doesn’t pass and sooner or later you have to face it. And once again, I’ve met a lot of gay men who are in the closet and very unhappy, but I’ve never met one who came out and said he was sorry he did it.

Frankly, I think this just adds more to Michael Sam’s hero appeal.

You can read the rest here.

Dad Stabs Alleged Trans

In what appears to be the stabbing death of a 22 year old trans woman, the alleged trans woman’s father has been charged. 

Bri Golec, an artist and drummer from Akron, Ohio, is the seventh known trans person to murdered this year. 

The Golec family say Bri was actually Brian, a man, and was not trans. (Note, our policy is not to use previous names for trans people but in respect for the grieving family’s wishes and the fact the identity can not be confirmed beyond all doubt, we are including this reference.) 

Police charged Kevin Golec, 52, with murder and domestic violence and is being held at the Summit County Jail. 

It gets more complicated with allegations about the victim being part of a pagan cult and the father acting in self-defense. Nothing in this article seems to be concrete at this point. In fact, nothing can be confirmed, not even whether or not the victim was actually a transgender person.

You can read more here. The article also has an update:

UPDATE: The language in this report has been updated to reflect family members’ clear statement that Golec was male and not a trans woman. We continue to note, as we did before, that Golec’s gender identity can not be 100% confirmed based on conflicting evidence currently available.

Gay Leather Park San Francisco

I have to admit that as a gay man I’ve never identified with leather or BDSM. But it is part of gay culture and people are trying to keep this alive. In this case, they’re planning a gay leather park in San Francisco.

The developed public space, currently taken up by a car park, would be transformed into a leather-themed pedestrian plaza under the new proposals.
‘I am super excited about it. I think it is beautiful,’ said one supporter of the proposals, as quoted by the Bay Area Reporter.
Eagle Plaza, as is it would be called, would fall within an area already designated by the city as an LGBTI cultural heritage district.
I think this might be the beginning of more things like this to come.

The Rainbow Detective Agency Book 2