Category: gay bottoms

How to Gay Bottom Well; Big, Bad and On Top by Ryan Field

How to Gay Bottom Well

I figured since I’m posting on this topic a lot lately I’d add this link for anyone interested. It’s a piece about how to bottom like a pro. I know when I was younger I didn’t have a clue and dads don’t usually take their sons aside and give them the facts of life about gay sex. I’m sure that’s going to change in the future. But I would imagine most gay men learned about sex the same way I did. Hit or miss.

I know this first link is really more like an advertorial for a book, but I’m breaking my rule about advertorials this once because I didn’t see anything on this web site that I didn’t agree with. It also gets into things like poppers, which are a big part of gay culture but rarely ever talked about.

Here’s a link to this one.

Now here’s a link that gets into more detail (and it’s less complicated) and you don’t have to buy a book. You don’t want to be a sloppy bottom. There’s nothing worse. This one example alone is something I’ve mentioned in my books because I think it’s important and it’s something that’s usually laughed at or ignored completely. For those who don’t think this is serious, think again. There are gay men out there wondering right now what it’s all about. I was watching a talk show with those two gay guys from Canada, Steve and Chris, earlier this evening and they talked about love, romance, and all kinds of crap with some therapist, but never once mentioned a thing about sex. And I’d bet money that at least one of them is a bottom.

Preparation is the most important step for a bottom. You take time to do your hair and pick your outfit, so you should also take time to prepare your sphincter. Many bottoms debate over douching, but some kind of cleaning is definitely appreciated. Prior to meeting up with your top, either douche, use an enema (neither of these should be done daily) or simply sit in a soap free bathtub and clean the area. Do not ever use soap to clean yourself with as this can cause massive irritation.

I’d just like to add three things: eat less if you know you’re bottoming, and don’t forget those condoms and lube. Never trust a guy who says he’ll pull out in time. Most men aren’t that gifted. But they’ll all tell you they’ll pull out in time. Don’t trust them. And you don’t want to do it without lube unless you’re very experienced. Just trust me on that one.

And, here’s a great video on the topic.

Big Bad and On Top by Ryan Field

This is my gay Top Gun book. There is plenty of talk about bottoming in this book.

Duke’s driven by his ambition to be the best fighter pilot in the Navy, not the fact that he’s a closeted gay man. But he’s garnered a reputation for being overly aggressive and far too impulsive. He likes to think the chances he takes are heroic and wise, but there are many in the Navy who think he’s reckless and irresponsible.

And when the Navy sends Duke to the most rigorous flight class in the world, he becomes even more aggressive in order to be the big, bad “top gun” everyone expects him to be. But while he’s working hard to be number one, he meets an attractive young civilian flight instructor named Jaime who turns his entire life upside down. Though it starts out as a harmless flirtation, their connection becomes so intense Duke begins to wonder whether or not he can continue to abide by the rules of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.

After a serious accident that leaves Duke so devastated he can barely fly a plane, Duke begins to question his goals, his ferocious need to be number one, and his unyielding devotion to a military that refuses to treat him with dignity and equality. He realizes the only good thing that has ever happened to him was falling in love with Jaime, and he discovers he has two choices. Both have the potential to change his and Jaime’s lives forever, and both come with serious consequences. But he can only choose one. And even while Duke is wrestling with the biggest decision of his life, his passion for Jaime burns hotter than ever.

Allromanceebooks Link

Hot Castro Cop; Bottoms Up; More Bottoms In NY? The Virgin Billionaire Series by Ryan Field

Hot Castro Cop

Remember my post about the hot cop of Castro in San Francisco that had Armistead  Maupin so weak? We now know his name and he even has a Facebook page.

Kohrs hadn’t done anything to draw attention to himself except for being hunky and doing his job as a patrol officer in one of the gayest neighborhoods in the US – the neighborhood where Harvey Milk launched his political career.

You can read more about him here where there’s a link to his Facebook page. He made a point of showing support for gay pride and he’s straight.

Bottoms Up

I have heard more comments in conversation about whether or not there are more gay bottoms or tops in my lifetime to fill volumes. Sometimes it’s in jest, other times it’s snarky. And the one thing that almost always seem to ring true is that very few ever want to openly admit whether or not they are tops or bottoms. This article gives a chart about which cities have more tops or bottoms.

So say statistics, anyway! Gayblog TheSword recently compiled some Craigslist data, and figured out that when men are looking online to do sex with other men, certain cities trend heavily toward the receiving end. Chief among them is Houston—where 70% of folks are looking to fill the void.

There’s more here. I once had a friend who claimed most gay men are bottoms. But we all know that’s not true. I also read once where it’s more like 92% are bottoms. And I’ll never forget an interview I saw once where a talk show host asked an older gay man why he liked to bottom. The older man said, “Stick your finger in your ear and move it around. Which feels better the finger or the ear?”

More  Bottoms In NY?

Tony swears he can tell a top from a bottom just by looking at a guy. I’ve never had that gift and I find articles like this interesting. Of course it does contradict other articles, and we’re still left wondering in the end, but this one does make a few excellent points about why there might be a surplus of bottoms in NY. As always, the comments must be read.

Some surmise that the Big Apple’s bottom surplus is a reaction to the daily grind of making it in the city. “I have to be on all day,” Jason says. “At night, I don’t want to have all the responsibility on me. And the responsibility is on the top because he has to have an erection in order for sex to happen.” Other men say it’s only natural to want to be a bottom when it’s the bottom who has the most fun. Contrary to what many straight people assume, bottoms are not necessarily submissive or masochistic; any man who’s done some exploring knows the pleasures of the prostate.

Some bottoms call themselves “power bottoms,” which means they take pride in bottoming and are extraordinarily picky about the anatomical endowments of their partners. “A power bottom,” says Stan, 38, a literary agent, “is somebody who can take it pretty easily and likes it a lot. I know a guy like that who’s only topped four guys in his life. I said to him, ‘That’s one per decade!’ ”

It’s a long article and you can read more here. I still think it’s almost impossible to calculate since most bottoms won’t really admit it…something I never understood in the first place.

But I have heard from other guys that in order for them to top they usually need Viagra.

And here’s a link to The Virgin Billionaire Series on Amazon. All books are stand alones and can be read individually. I’m not a big cliff hanger fan. I also like continuity and if you read the sixth or seventh book in the ten book series you won’t have an issue figuring out who the characters are.

The Virgin Billionaire Series
by Ryan Field
Amazon Link

Tops and Bottoms, Huh? Secret Millionaire Dies

Tops and Bottoms, Huh?

There’s an amusing article at Huff Po today, with an even more amusing video, that makes a few valid points but in the end fails to get right into the reality of the matter at hand: tops and bottoms.

One guy said this:

“I think a lot of guys are versatile or do both [positions], but I think there some people who just want to get f**ked or just want to f**ck! And so I don’t think we should take that away from them either,” said Michelson. “I agree with you that there’s probably too much of a concentration on these roles and what comes with them, but I don’t want to deny a total top the right to just top his little heart out!”

I think if he’d said the same thing about bottoms just wanting to bottom their little hearts out the entire set, including camera men, would have fallen down laughing, because I’d bet money he’s a bottom. Actually, it’s a group of bottoms talking about tops and bottoms, without top representation.

How do I know this? I have ten years on all of them and I’ve done and seen it all. I’m also past the point of PC in some cases and this is one of them. Very few bottoms will ever admit, openly, they are bottoms. But it’s not that hard to figure out. And there’s really nothing wrong with it.

I do, however, think they make some very valid points, especially when one mentioned not all gay men have anal sex. That’s very true in some cases and it’s not all that unusual for some gay men to abstain from anal sex altogether.

There is one point they missed in the quest to figure out tops and bottoms. If it weren’t such a big thing with gay men social media web sites where millions of gay men from all over the world meet wouldn’t be classifying gay men as tops or bottoms. This needs to be discussed if you’re looking to meet someone, especially for a long term relationship. Are there some who are versatile? I think there are. But not the majority. It’s been my experience the majority of versatiles are all bottoms, most are unwilling to admit it aloud because there’s a social stigma attached to being a bottom because it makes them less masculine, and most of those who claim to be versatile are using code for bottom. Trust me on this. You might not read it anywhere else. But I’ve known more than a few who claim to be versatile and when they get into bed the legs go up higher than any bottom you’ve ever seen.

And there’s nothing sadder than two bottoms trying to figure out what to do, so these things should be made clear up front so no one is disappointed. (Younger gay men who don’t know much need to know this so they don’t find out the hard way, so to speak.)

If you don’t know what a top or bottom is, you can google it. If you don’t believe anything I just wrote, you’re living in a PC dream world. But more important, this has nothing to do with gender politics…in most cases.

The comment thread is why I write these posts.

Secret Millionaire Dies

I love pieces like this next one because they come so few and far between. You have to wonder what motivates a person to make choices like this when there’s no need, and what kind of self-actuated mind set they have…or had. In this case a multi-millionaire, Jack MacDonald, lived a humble life and wore old worn clothes. The people who knew him best didn’t have a clue he was worth that much money. He guarded his privacy and a few family members knew the truth.

After the 98-year-old MacDonald died in September, however, much of that nest egg was donated to charity, with MacDonald leaving a combined total of $187.6 million to the Seattle Children’s Research Institute, the University of Washington School of Law and the Salvation Army.
You can read more here. It’s very inspiring.