Tops and Bottoms, Huh?
There’s an amusing article at Huff Po today, with an even more amusing video, that makes a few valid points but in the end fails to get right into the reality of the matter at hand: tops and bottoms.
One guy said this:
“I think a lot of guys are versatile or do both [positions], but I think there some people who just want to get f**ked or just want to f**ck! And so I don’t think we should take that away from them either,” said Michelson. “I agree with you that there’s probably too much of a concentration on these roles and what comes with them, but I don’t want to deny a total top the right to just top his little heart out!”
I think if he’d said the same thing about bottoms just wanting to bottom their little hearts out the entire set, including camera men, would have fallen down laughing, because I’d bet money he’s a bottom. Actually, it’s a group of bottoms talking about tops and bottoms, without top representation.
How do I know this? I have ten years on all of them and I’ve done and seen it all. I’m also past the point of PC in some cases and this is one of them. Very few bottoms will ever admit, openly, they are bottoms. But it’s not that hard to figure out. And there’s really nothing wrong with it.
I do, however, think they make some very valid points, especially when one mentioned not all gay men have anal sex. That’s very true in some cases and it’s not all that unusual for some gay men to abstain from anal sex altogether.
There is one point they missed in the quest to figure out tops and bottoms. If it weren’t such a big thing with gay men social media web sites where millions of gay men from all over the world meet wouldn’t be classifying gay men as tops or bottoms. This needs to be discussed if you’re looking to meet someone, especially for a long term relationship. Are there some who are versatile? I think there are. But not the majority. It’s been my experience the majority of versatiles are all bottoms, most are unwilling to admit it aloud because there’s a social stigma attached to being a bottom because it makes them less masculine, and most of those who claim to be versatile are using code for bottom. Trust me on this. You might not read it anywhere else. But I’ve known more than a few who claim to be versatile and when they get into bed the legs go up higher than any bottom you’ve ever seen.
And there’s nothing sadder than two bottoms trying to figure out what to do, so these things should be made clear up front so no one is disappointed. (Younger gay men who don’t know much need to know this so they don’t find out the hard way, so to speak.)
If you don’t know what a top or bottom is, you can google it. If you don’t believe anything I just wrote, you’re living in a PC dream world. But more important, this has nothing to do with gender politics…in most cases.
The comment thread is why I write these posts.
Secret Millionaire Dies
I love pieces like this next one because they come so few and far between. You have to wonder what motivates a person to make choices like this when there’s no need, and what kind of self-actuated mind set they have…or had. In this case a multi-millionaire, Jack MacDonald, lived a humble life and wore old worn clothes. The people who knew him best didn’t have a clue he was worth that much money. He guarded his privacy and a few family members knew the truth.