Gay Guy Has Sex With 400; The Gay Adult Theater; Prince Harry’s Nipple Tweak

Gay Guy Has Sex With 400

A guy named Dylan Jones no one has ever heard of wrote an op-ed piece…because that’s what you do now…about all the sex partners he’s had, and how he’s proud of it, and why he hates slut-shaming. Yes, slut-shaming, again.

Jones estimates his number of paramours falls “somewhere around the four hundred mark. An average of two every week for four years. And that’s not even counting weekends.”

I’m not remotely insecure about it,” he writes. “I have absolutely no shame.”

He goes on to mention how one guy slut-shamed him …by using a really bad stereotype to define this guy, which I think negates his point because that is a form of looks-shaming. And he claims that he only gets the slut-shaming thing from gay men.

Frankly, I couldn’t care less who, or how many, he screws around with. 

You can read the rest here. I’m also not fond of kissing and telling. There’s this thing called discretion and good taste. You don’t have to tell the world how many men you’ve been with.

You’ll want to check out the comments with this one. 

The Gay Adult Theater

This is something I’ve never done…gone to a gay adult theater. That’s before my time. However, I think it’s interesting from a cultural POV. And, this is another part of gay culture I hate to see disappear during a time when almost all of gay culture is vanishing.

This time a gay adult theater in San Fransisco called, The Tea Room Theatre, is closing down. For those who don’t know what a “tea room” is in gay culture, you can read more about that here. I know a lot of you don’t know what that means because I once mentioned “tea dance” in a forum and most people didn’t even know what that was. And “tea dance” and “tea room” are not the same thing. Here’s more about tea dance. (I get into a lot of these things in my next book, yet to be titled.)

Blame goes to the usual suspects: the internet, hookup apps, and a more open culture that no longer forces queer people to hide. These days, porn is practically something you can find out in the open — especially in San Francisco.

There was a time when porn theaters like these were one of the primary ways that men hooked up. You’d spend a few bucks to slip into a grubby theater, or loiter in a hallway, or watch a live dancer. If theaters weren’t your thing, you could also poke your head into certain bathrooms; or hide in the bushes down by the ocean. Half a century ago, for a lot of men, there simply weren’t any good clean wholesome ways to meet each other — and for some people, that was just fine.

You can read the rest here. I think it’s a huge part of gay culture, and once again, it has nothing at all to do with any other aspect of LBTQ. This was predominantly about gay men, only gay men, and gay culture. 

The comments are interesting because one gay guy who is 30 left a comment that it is so off base about what these theaters were all about, it’s as funny as it is sad. He thinks guys went there to watch movies. He wants to see “events” held at gay adult theaters now. He thinks that’s what gay adult theaters need: events. 

Bless his little gay soul. Someone should tell him.

Prince Harry’s Nipple Tweak 

I think everyone can agree that Prince Harry does a lot for good causes, and he inspires a lot of people all over the world. And, he’s great with people.  

While attending a volleyball event at Britain’s Invictus Games, the Paralympic-style games that Harry himself founded in 2014 in which wounded, injured or sick armed services personnel and their associated veterans take part in sports, the young Prince of Wales could just couldn’t resit tweaking the nipple of participant.

You can check that out here,  with a video of the incident. Someone in the comments claims this is pretty normal for straight guys to do.

 

Unabated





The Arrangement

Free Gay Excerpt: The Scottish Duke; Five More Things About Gay Sex; Gay Rights, Global Scale

Free Gay Excerpt: The Scottish Duke

I’m posting a quick excerpt today from the most recently pubbed book in The Rainbow Detective series, The Scottish Duke. 

Here’s the blurb, and here’s a link to Amazon. I’ve already posted more links to places like Smashwords, here. 

In this installment of The Rainbow Detective Agency, Blair and Proctor’s passionate relationship has moved forward to the point where they begin a small family and don’t even realize it. And that’s because they’re busy trying to solve the case of a well-known gay romance author, E. Q. Montana, who was so obsessed with Proctor he lined the walls of his unkempt West Hollywood apartment with Proctor’s photos. 

But E. Q. Montana wasn’t just any best-selling gay romance author. E. Q. had a few deep dark secrets and enemies of his own that Proctor and Blair have to figure out, one of which has to do with The Scottish Duke of Huntley. It’s a peculiar case of dangerous literary subterfuge, with sudden twists and vicious, ambitious authors, that has them both stumped emotionally and intellectually, and in the end Proctor’s worst nightmare comes true.

I promise, no spoilers.You can scroll down to the bottom of this post for the excerpt.

Five More Things About Gay Sex

Supposedly, here are five more things about gay sex “you didn’t know.” No need to get your smelling salts with this one. It’s another Queerty advertorial, but it’s funny…I think.

Here’s one “fun filled fact you didn’t know.” 

Gentlemen prefer kissing (and BJs) to anal sex

Researchers at George Mason University and Indiana University conducted a sex study with nearly 25,000 gay and bisexual men. Participants were asked about their most recent same-sex encounters. 75 percent reported giving oral sex compared to 74 percent who reported receiving oral sex. 74.8 percent reported kissing on the mouth. But only about 35 percent reported having full-blown anal intercourse. The takeaway from the study? Apparently the question, “Are you a top or a bottom?” only matters one-third of the time.

Someone should tell this to all the guys I dated when I was single. That wasn’t my personal experience. The moment they pin you down, you know exactly what they want, and they are eager to get it.

Here’s the link. As usual, with anything printed by Queerty, you’ll want to read the comments with this one. And I’m not knocking Queerty. It’s free content.

Gay Rights, Global Scale

I always think it’s important to know…and care…about LGBTI people in other parts of the world. Mainly because so many don’t have the rights we have here in the US. It’s the only thing I ever get political about.

Here’s an article that talks about the best and worst places for gay rights, on a global scale.

Where are LGBT rights improving?

Parts of Latin America remain the standard for equality for LGBT rights. Argentina‘s Gender Identity Law 2012 allowed the change of gender on birth certificates for transgender people. It also legalised same-sex marriage in 2010, giving same-sex couples the same rights as opposite-sex couples, including the right to adopt children. Uruguay and Mexico City also allow equal marriage and adoption, and last week Colombia recognised its first legal same-sex civil union (not “marriage”).

And it’s still a concern here in the US, too. I had a conversation with someone recently about the Republican debates. Granted, this is someone older and not as informed because he doesn’t have access to Internet news, so I did make an allowance for that. When I stated that I wasn’t fond of a few Republican candidates because of their stand on gay marriage, he said, “You can’t base your vote on one issue.” Clearly, he didn’t get it and I didn’t bother to explain. That one issue, however, is what I base my votes on these days because that one issue is one of the most fundamental aspects of my life.


You can read more here.

The Scottish Duke…

Here’s the excerpt. It’s hard to post anything longer because I would be giving out spoilers. With a book like this a lot matters in that department. This comes from the middle of the book and I don’t think it gives away too much. But if you’re worried, you might want to skip it. And, Constance, of course, is a large Bengal cat, and Snowden is a new puppy that I introduced in this book.



When they pulled up to the house, Blair climbed out of the car without waiting for Proctor to invite him inside. Proctor didn’t say anything that night. It was almost ten o’clock, they hadn’t eaten anything all day, and Proctor was planning to make salad. Although he loved pizza, and he joked about eating pizza on Twitter with his fans, he didn’t have it often. He was model who always focused on his body and his weight. And although eating pizza and doughnuts tempted him every day of his life, he knew that it was salad that would keep him in skinny jeans and skimpy tight swim trunks.

He also knew Blair wouldn’t complain. He’d eat anything as long as he didn’t have to cook it himself. Blair seemed to have this attitude toward food in general that always amazed Proctor. Blair ate to live. He didn’t live to eat. It wasn’t even something he focused on consciously. If there was a lot of food around Blair would eat it. If there wasn’t, he didn’t seem to mind. 

Proctor unlocked the front door and he entered first, with Blair in tow. Before Proctor even switched on the hallway lights he looked down and saw Snowden at his feet, wagging his little tail. Then he heard a growl and saw Constance sitting on the bottom step.

Proctor turned to Blair and said, “Why isn’t Snowden in his crate in the kitchen?” Constance had free run of the entire house, but he knew Jane would never have allowed a small puppy to roam freely that way.

Blair seemed to sense something unusual, so he headed toward the living room and flipped on the main light switch.

Proctor picked Snowden up and glanced into his living room. He gasped and said, “What happened?” The tables were turned sideways, chairs and cushions rested upside down all over the place, and one of his best crystal lamps had been shattered into a million little pieces.

Blair put his arm around Proctor and said, “Either you’ve been burglarized or we missed the earthquake.”

Proctor held Snowden tighter. His first thought was relief, knowing that Constance and Snowden were safe. Then he looked at his crystal lamp again and sighed. “Why would anyone do this to me?” He had an alarm system, but Jane rarely activated it at the end of the day because she naturally assumed that Proctor would be home by seven o’clock. He preferred not dealing with alarms and code numbers. Now he was sorry he’d been so lazy about it.

Before Blair could answer him, a nasal voice spoke from a dark section on the other side of the living room. “Where’s The Scottish Duke of Huntley?”

Blair blinked. “The Duke of what the fuck, man?”

The Scottish Duke of Huntley,” said the nasal voice, again. “I want to know where he is this minute. I know you’ve got him here and I’m not leaving without him. Release him to me this instant.”

As a short, thin man stepped out of the shadows on the far side of the room, Proctor saw he was pointing a handgun at them. The guy had short red hair, with tight kinky curls, and a long thin neck. Proctor held Snowden tightly to his chest and said, “I don’t know anything about this Scottish Duke. Who are you and what do you want?”

Blair stared at the gun and said, “Just stay calm, man. We don’t know anything about a Scottish Duke. You’ve mistaken us for someone else. I think the people across the street are Scottish, you should check that out.”

Proctor’s first thought was the man pointing the gun at them was unhinged and possibly dangerous. He obviously had an unrealistic delusion that Blair and Proctor had kidnapped The Scottish Duke of Huntley and they were hiding him somewhere in the house. Proctor had a great uncle once who thought he was Napoleon. He decided the only way to keep this man calm was to placate him and ask more questions. “I’m sorry, but we don’t have the Scottish Duke. We’ve never even seen him. What does he look like? Why would you think we kidnapped him?”

Straight Guy Secret Man Crushes; Obama’s Gay Jokes; Prostate Pleasure

Straight Guy Secret Man Crushes

Here’s another one about straight guys apparently having secret man crushes on other guys. It seems to be trending in gay presses.

We’ve heard that straight men are a lot more bisexual than you might think, and science has even tried to explain why so many straight dudes fantasize about having gay sex, but when it comes to hetero daydreams about a same-sex encounter, who tends to pop up naked?

We asked Whisper to do a little digging. Here’s what they found:

You can see the photos here. It’s funny. And, maybe there is some accuracy to it as well. 

Obama’s Gay Jokes

This is actually funny, too. It looks as if President Obama is opening up a little more now that he has the freedom to do this. And he’s doing it with a little snark.

He delivered a laser-sharp barb at the expense of Michele Bachmann and her recent prediction that rapture was upon us. “Michele Bachmann actually predicted that I would bring about the biblical end of days. Now, that’s a legacy. That’s big. I mean, Lincoln, Washington, they didn’t do that.”

Here’s the rest of the article. 

Prostate Pleasure

This one is about as simple as it gets. “The Ins and Outs of Prostate Pleasure.” I really wish there were more exciting stories in gay news, but lately they seem to be scrambling for material. Michele Bachmann better say something soon or we’ll be reading about nut sacks next.

2. It makes your orgasm
Or at least, a significant part of it. In a small 2011 study, almost 40 percent of men who had their prostate removed reported being unable to orgasm. A larger 2014 study found only five percent were unable to orgasm after prostate removal, but 60 percent of men reported less intense orgasms. So while the science is unclear, the evidence suggests prostates are necessary for orgasms to be their best. Which leads us to …

There is more here, with a video. Actually, all sarcasm aside, it really is important for all men to know more about this. Any little bit helps, no pun intended. 

Human Penis Transplants; First Gay Bar Experience; Five Things About Your Ass

Human Penis Transplants

This one is pretty self-explanatory, no matter how shocking it sounds.

And it’s not just for cosmetic purposes. Doctors in S. Africa performed a penis transplant on a 21 year old who lost his penis to a bad circumcision. Another reason I’m not fond of the entire concept of circumcision, at least not without giving the man a choice. Most of us don’t get that choice.

“We’ve proved that it can be done — we can give someone an organ that is just as good as the one that he had,” Frank Graewe, head of the Division of Plastic Reconstructive Surgery at Stellenbosch University, said in a statement. “It was a privilege to be part of this first successful penis transplant in the world.”

They don’t say where they got the organ, but I’m assuming it’s like any other organ donor program.

You can read the rest here. I think it’s wonderful for people who need it. My one question is would they be able to use an artificial penis? And next, what are the odds of the body rejecting it?

First Gay Bar Experience

I remember my first gay bar experience very well. It was absolutely wonderful. I was still in college and I drove all the way from Madison, NJ to New Hope, PA where there were three gay bars at the time. It was the first time in my life I felt as if I could be comfortable, and I’m not exaggerating this. I knew I’d found a home, so to speak. It wasn’t about sex, alcohol, or even dancing. It was the absolute comfort of being with my own kind. I didn’t have any expectations that night; that came later.

In any event, here’s an article that talks about first gay bar experiences. As you can see, they are varied, which is understandable because so much has changed in the past twenty years. I also think they’re from very young gay men who don’t know a world of complete homophobia…like it was in the 1990’s.

“Yesterday I went to my first gay bar for the first time and I felt like a total different person.”

You can read the rest here. I think it’s interesting how some of them reacted.  I’d like to see the question presented to gay men who went to their first gay bar prior to 2000.

Five Things About Your Ass

This is one of the most obtuse articles I’ve read in a while, but it’s not completely without merit. For one thing it’s great clickbait, and for another the ass is important to gay men. Yes, that ass.

Queerty spoke to expert fanny physician Elie Schochet, MD, of Ft Lauderdale, who has become a popular go-to man on anal health. His town hall events on the subject are swarming with gay men, and his “Team Happy Hineys” is even the largest AIDS Walk group in south Florida this year.

“I’m a straight man who tells gay guys how to use their ass right,” he told us. “It’s been a real education on both sides. But the medical facts are way too important not to talk about this openly.” The good doctor definitely has no anal shame.

You can read the rest here. I didn’t know a few. In fact, I never knew that in some cases some men will never physically be able to bottom. And I never knew gay men were supposed to get pap smears. I’m still on the fence about all of it, though. Do I need to be told to eat fiber?

 
The Way We ALMOST Were

A Gay Parody  

 
 

Best Lube For You; Naked Gay Shower Selfie Challenge; "Bar Code" Declares Straightness & Gays Don’t Want Straight Bartender

Best Lube For You

When I spotted this article I couldn’t help but smile because another author recently sent me a PM about this very topic. She had been reading a few gay romance novels and the characters either didn’t use lube at all during sex or they used saliva. I once had an editor at one of the older gay presses go on a rant about this in a mass e-mail he sent out to all his writers. And I think that’s because even though it might be a wonderful fictional concept to engage in anal intercourse without lube, the reality of sex this way without lube for most men is more like a trip to the dentist without Novocaine. In fact, you can feel the pain in your teeth.

In any event, here’s a list of the best lubes for you.

But how do you know which lube is right for you? Thankfully, our friends over at Astroglide have come up with plenty of types from which to chose. You might even want to switch up types from time to time. After all, everyone loves a versatile guy.

You can read all about them here. And if you’re young and not very experienced you’ll want to check this out. If you’re counting on saliva to work you’d better have a good strong pillow to bite.

Naked Gay Shower Selfie Challenge

This one is not as self-explanatory as you might think, and the reason behind it goes much deeper. I think it’s an interesting idea…one we need to concentrate on more.

 The idea is to challenge the notion that having HIV makes you “dirty” by contrast of the often used “clean” to describe a negative HIV status, and the hope is that participants will donate money along the way to help find a cure.

 I think everyone can participate in this, those with and without HIV. The photos are actually adorable. You can see them here.

There’s also more about it here at Pink News.

“Bar Code” Declares Straightness and Gay Bars Don’t Want Straight Bartender

Before I mention why this is interesting to me here’s some basic info.

There’s a straight bar in Lafayette, LA, called “Bar Code,” and there’s a gay bar in Virginia called “Bar Code.” The one in LA wanted to make it clear to everyone that they are NOT a gay bar. And what followed is a long PC twitter discussion about how wrong this was.

“Straight Bar? That’s got to be the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Honestly I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a place of business advertising themselves as being a bar for only straight people. Sounds about as reasonable as establishments being open to whites only.”

That’s just one comment from twitter. There are many more. It’s too long to paste so you’ll have to go here to check it all out in full.

Now I hate to be contradictory with fact and truth, but here’s a true recent story that’s not hearsay. It’s gossipy, but it’s true. Last weekend a friend e-mailed me to find out if I’d heard anything about a local gay bar hiring a straight bartender. The friend told me the bartender who’d been working there for years had been fired for reasons no one knew and the new owner of the bar hired this straight bartender as a replacement. Then the friend went on to mention how the new straight bartender invited all of his straight friends on his first night. And when all the straight people showed up (mostly women, from what someone else told me) the gays made a mad dash for the exit door. According to this e-mail, one gay man was physically ill from it. I’m not making this up. It’s all in an e-mail.

From my inbox, verbatim, with names and places removed:

Interesting news about XXXX: XXXX hired a straight, pony-tailed bartender to replace XXXX in the back bar and clearly told to get all his straight friends to go…y’day the back bar was filled with these loud mouthed straights who’d then go outside to smoke their cigarettes…don’t know if this is what XXXX wants to do–make the place more of a ‘mixed’ clientele? XXXXX was aghast and hurried on home!! 🙂 let me know if you hear anything…

Although the straight bartender wouldn’t bother me or Tony and we’ll continue to go there without any problems because Vodka is good enough in and of itself, I know a lot of gay men who aren’t too thrilled and their form of protest is going to be silence and not returning to that bar or that bartender who brought in all his straight friends.

My point here is that nothing is ever as it appears on the surface, and whenever something like this happens to a gay or straight bar, business owners are never quite sure how to deal with it. And please don’t be all peace, love, hope and change and tell me it doesn’t matter and everyone loves everyone else. I’ll agree that it shouldn’t matter, and I hope down the line it stops mattering, but frankly it matters a great deal right now, especially to gay men in gay bars where they think they’re being pushed out. I would imagine straight people feel the same way in their bars.

The Sheriff and the Outlaw

by Ryan Field

 
 


Hachette Paperback Fail; Gay Virginity Loss; How Gay Men Lose Virginity

Hachette Paperback Fail

This article discusses the recent comment made by big 5 publisher, Hachette, in response to a letter Amazon sent out to readers and KDP authors. I’ve already posted a little here. Hachette makes a broad generalization about the invention of the paperback, but fails to mention a few important, interesting details that most people wouldn’t know.

Well, technically, it isn’t false — it’s true that mass market paperbacks weren’t invented to replace hardbacks. But they weren’t published in the modern fashion, with a publisher releasing them months after the more expensive hardback. Rather, paperback rights were purchased by competing publishers who were able to sell their paperbacks for 10% of the price of the original hardcovers.

In other words, they were invented to disrupt the hardcover industry.

You can read the rest here. This is a very articulate piece and I don’t want to excerpt more than I already did because the blogger deserves full credit for doing this. If you know nothing about Amazon vs Hachette, or about the origin of the paperback, I highly suggest clicking this link and reading it in full. It’s concise and thorough at the same time. I thought it was fairly objective, too.

Gay Virginity Loss

I came across this blog post recently and thought my readers might find it interesting. It’s a post about how a gay guy lost his virginity and some of the comments aren’t what you might expect.

‘Well, I guess for man-on-man action, there are two V-cards you could lose. My friends and I have discussed this several times…and almost all of us have come to the conclusion that oral sex IS sex, but penetrative intercourse results in the loss of a V-card (this includes my LGBTQ and straight friends).  We haven’t done a scientific study to back it up but I guess from personal experiences we’ve found the penetrative act to be more intimate.’ He also made this rather interesting point. ‘Also, had I been a heterosexual woman offering up my wares for free to a heterosexual man, I almost guarantee that it would have been a different outcome, and I would have hung my V-card up six years earlier…’

I have to agree with him.

 You can read more here.

How Gay Men Lose Virginity (Gay Men Don’t Have Coitus!)

A couple of years ago a fairly well known romance book review web site that does reviews in the form of a letter to each author posted a rave review for a m/m romance historical that left me gaping in a few places. I didn’t read the book, but I did read the review in full. It was a five star stellar review that most authors would kill for. But when I read a part of the review where there was an excerpt about two gay male characters in love and “sharing coitus” I nearly gagged on the cluelessness of that passage and the WTF-ery that accompanied it. I would be remiss if I didn’t add that this same mostly all women review site has always been the first to use passive aggressive homophobia against gay male authors. How do I know this? I’m the gay guy and you’ll just have to take my word for it (smile).

Why was this so wrong? Because two gay men do NOT share coitus. Not now, not ever, and not even in a historical. Here’s the definition of coitus. It’s not up for debate with me. This next article to which I’m linking points this out well. And for anyone to review a gay book of any kind and not bring this up in the review…unless the author refers to coitus as a joke in the book…is highly irresponsible and insulting to gay men. Not one person in the comment section of the review had enough basic knowledge of gay men to question the review. Not one.

Hard and dry, sex means coitus: 1 penis + 1 vagina = 1 ejaculation.

In any event, this same article I linked to above talks about how gay men tend to view the loss of their virginity differently sometimes. I thought this was interesting.

Anal sex can be so insanely personal that it exists in a different realm. It’s like there is sex and then there’s anal sex.

Personally, I think the entire concept of sex of any kind…even kissing and making out…is so terrifying to most gay men in the beginning a simple erotic hug could be considered a loss of virginity to some. The taboos have been around for so long it’s going to take a few generations to lose them.

You can read the rest here. One guy thought having unprotected anal sex for the first time was losing his virginity. And it sounds as if he’d been around the block a few times already and didn’t even know he’d lost it.

I get into gay virginity in this book…it’s loosely based on the old movie, Breakfast At Tiffany’s, and I parodied what I always thought was a Cinderella storyline that’s been done time and time again. The only difference is that I did the gay erotic version, because, you know, sometimes we gays like to read this fun dirty stuff, too. I know that’s hard to believe. But it’s true. Most of us got nothing growing up. Nothing but suicide and depression in gay novels. And why can’t we have a little Cinderella once in a while, too…with GAY characters and a very happy ending? And, a closeted gay billionaire who was once married to a woman loses his gay virginity in the process. The title of this book was NOT an accident.

The Virgin Billionaire
 
 
by Ryan Field
 
 
 
 
 
 


Gay Sex Roles: Tops and Bottoms; Be A Better Gay Top; Davey Wavey on Good Tops

Gay Sex Roles: Tops and Bottoms

This is one of those posts I’m keeping more clinical because I think it’s important to the discussion of m/m romance and almost all gay fiction. Even if this doesn’t come up in any particular book, it is dormant between the lines no matter how hard someone tries to dispute it (or ignore it). We often read a great deal about gender politics with regard to gay relationships that discuss the fundamentals, with respect to heteronormative couples, and most of that is a huge waste of human time. I think another fundamental aspect of any relationship…gay or straight…are sex roles. And there’s absolutely nothing dirty or obscene about this.

This article dates back a few years, but I think it’s one of the best I’ve read about gay sex roles in a long time.

Most psychology research that deal with gay men dichotomize the sex roles as Top and Bottom (if they differentiate among gay men at all) – preference for insertive anal intercourse and preference for receptive anal intercourse respectively. This paper summarizes a study that tested a more elaborate categorization, and finds that sex role preference is correlated with differences in physical preferences for a sexual partner among gay men, suggesting that the hypothesized categorization is meaningful. The data suggests that sex roles should be thought of as a continuous spectrum that map onto a continuous spectrum of physical preferences.
 
The new categorization tested includes 6 categories:
1) Only Bottom
2) Versatile, but prefer Bottom
3) Versatile, equal
4) Versatile, but prefer Top
5) Only Top
6) Never had anal sex / Don’t Know
 
In other words, diversification. I also think there could be a few more added to this list, but for now it’s simple and accurate. Of course I probably wouldn’t get into this in fiction unless the main character were a psychologist or something related, but these “things” are always in the background of any book whenever there is a situation that involves two people involved in a relationship that is even remotely sexual.
 
You can read the rest here. I think it’s worthwhile reading. It disputes a lot of myths, for one thing.
 
Many gay men feel that there are more Bottoms than Tops, and the point of the study wasn’t to prove this one way or another. The milieu of gay.com may have skewed the proportions. But the point of the study was to see whether preference for certain physical traits were different among individuals among the different categories rather than finding out the actual distribution (which is a much tougher question because it’s hard to remove the bias of where you solicit your respondents).
 
To put this into an even more interesting (and simple) perspective, think about the most recent episode of True Blood. The flamboyant gay character who is always gender bending with clothes and image wound up in a situation with one of the more masculine vampires. In the next scene we find the more effeminate character topping and the more masculine character on the bottom. I’ve known many couples in real life like this, too. A lot of what we think we know on the surface only promotes the old stereotypes.  
 
Be A Better Gay Top
 
Since I’m posting on this topic, and I have posted about how to be a better gay bottom, I thought I would be remiss if I didn’t post something about being a better top. This is really important, especially if the top is responsible for a bottom’s first time.
 
Anal sex can hurt. I sometimes think that the best Tops are guys who also Bottom because empathy always makes a better lover. The biggest problem most Tops have is that they don’t pay attention to their partner. They start the joust at full gallop. If you are going to Top remember that if you injure your partner before you even get started nobody is going to have a good time.
 
You can read more here. The article gets into a lot of other issues I think are important. It states that it’s not just the bottom’s responsibility to bring the condom. It’s everyone’s responsibility and if you’re a good top you’ll pay attention to this. It’s true. Then again, I also know from personal experience that if you’re a smart bottom you’ll bring that condom anyway because the odds are the top guy won’t have one. When I was single I never met one who did carry one. He’ll tell you he’ll pull out. He’ll tell you he’s safe. He’ll tell you anything to get you to do what he wants. Just bring the condom and don’t trust anyone you don’t know well. This might not be the most clinical advice, or the most politically correct advice. But it’s like defensive driving…it’s the most logical advice if you want to remain disease free. And I’m not just talking about HIV. There’s a long list of sexually transmitted diseases that require medical attention you don’t want to get.
 
Davey Wavey on Good Tops
 
Davey Wavey, youtube star, has weighed in on this issue in a less clinical sense. But the first thing he gets into is something I’ve seen even in clinical articles: the best tops have also been bottoms and they know how things work, so to speak, from personal experience. I’m not sure that’s always true, even though it does make sense. There are plenty of good tops out there would never even consider bottoming. But it’s a fun video if you take it on surface value.
 
If you can’t see the video here, here’s the youtube link. If you haven’t seen any Davey Wavey videos you’ll find more links on other related topics on that page to which I linked.
 
 
 
 
 Small Town Romance Writer
 
by Ryan Field