An author friend of mine, A.B. Gayle, turned me on to a great blog (the whole blog, not just one post) written by adult entertainment star, Conner Habib. One post in particular, The Virtues of Being an Object, was something I couldn’t stop reading the moment I started it. I’ve probably mentioned before how I think we tend to objectify both men and women nowadays…depending on who you talk to. It also gives a first hand impression of adult entertainment, and it’s not the hype we often see from people who only sensationalize these things.
Habib is also an author. From what I’ve read in his various bios, he started out as a writer and then went into adult entertainment. And he doesn’t write fluff. The following is from an essay he wrote for a pubbed book titled, Exploring the Edge Realms of Consciousness.
The essay is about all sorts of things; but all relate to the charge that porn “objectifies” people. We’ve all heard that argument, but I wasn’t so sure it made any sense. When I tried to figure out what porn critics were getting at, I figured out that they were even more confused than I thought.
Again, this isn’t hearsay. It’s coming from someone who works within the industry. The blog post to which I’m linking is a condensed version of his original essay from the book, presented as a post in the form of mini-essays.
The first time I masturbated thinking of a man, I was barely a teenager. I’d masturbated before, but I never really understood why – it was just a feeling contained in myself. I’d push myself into my mattress and consider the strange, warm feeling. Waves up my chest and in my spine, a peaceful feeling afterward. It was unrelated to anything but me.
What I always find interesting, from my own POV, is that we naturally assume that men think differently about porn than women. But in speaking privately with more than one of my female readers about erotic romance, especially gay erotic romance, I’ve learned that’s not always accurate.
You can read the post in full here. I also find it interesting the way so many adult entertainment stars are always so underestimated by the mainstream. It even happens with erotic romance authors.
The Joey Stefano Story
The same author who told me about Conner Habib’s blog, A.B. Gayle, also mentioned The Joey Stefano Story to me a couple of months ago and I’ve had an e-mail with a link sitting in my inbox all this time because I wasn’t sure I wanted to post about it. I’ve posted about Stefano before because I met him and knew him briefly in the early 1990’s. And the “Joey” I knew wasn’t quite the way I’ve seen him portrayed all the time. But I haven’t seen this play, so I can’t comment. And I figured I’d post about it because I think “Joey” would have loved to have seen a play all about him.
“For those unfamiliar with the Stefano legend, Stefano, born Nick Iacona, ran away from his Philadelphia home at the age of 16 and became a gay porn sensation with the aid of adult film director Chi Chi LaRue. Lowe’s play is a successfully layered work that begins by focusing on Stefano’s boyish charm and limitless libido, even though it concentrates primarily on narrative exposition rather than dramatic tension. Instead of exploring Stefano’s psyche. Lowe has opted for a wittier stance, revealing inside tricks of the porn trade and by writing lines such as, “When it comes to bottoms in this industry, I’m the top.”
This first line in the above paragraph is one reason why I’ve been apprehensive about mentioning this play. From what I recall, “Joey” came from Chester, PA, not Philadelphia. I’m also from the Philadelphia area, all my life. And although Chester, PA isn’t far from Philadelphia, it’s not the same thing. I live in New Hope, Bucks County, PA, which is also not far from Philly. But I don’t live in Philly. There’s a difference, a big difference. Wiki even backs me up on this, here. Am I being too pedantic? Maybe. I’m just being honest.
The play was written by author Barry Lowe, whom I’ve never met, but seen around because he’s also an author with one of my publishers, Loveyoudivine.com. As I said, I haven’t seen the play so I can’t comment on it. But if you read my own previous posts about “Joey” you might get a different impression of the man I met in person, and knew briefly in my life, than the one you’ll get at the web site about the play to which I linked above. I’m not saying one is more accurate than the other, and I don’t want to give that impression. I don’t know how Lowe went about getting material for the play or how he researched it. I’m only saying that I knew “Joey” on a different level, and not from what I read or heard about. I didn’t see that dark side I hear about all the time. And, “Joey” was the kind of guy who would treat me differently than he would others. If he liked you you had nothing to worry about. If he didn’t, he just dismissed you as an idiot.
But most of all, I think “Joey” would have liked knowing there’s a play about him, and that we’re still here talking about him. I don’t think he ever thought he would become as well known, or reach the magnitude he’s reached. The only unfortunate thing is that there isn’t an actor on the planet who can ever match his looks. It’s like trying to find a Liz Taylor double. It’s not going to happen.
List of Bad Boy Billionaire Books
When I write these lists, I often do them so I have a place where I can go to see the list myself. I’ll admit that sometimes when I finish a book and the book is released I don’t think about it again for a long time. I don’t know why that is. It’s just the way I’m wired and I always like to move forward. Readers will sometimes mention books and characters to me in e-mails and I’ll have to go research them because they’ve completely slipped my mind. So here’s a list with link of the complete books in this year’s Bad Boy Billionaire Series. I’ll update it again when I get closer to completing the entire series.
Bad Boy Billionaires: The Actor Learning to Love (soon to be pubbed)
Bad Boy Billionaires: The Silicon Valley Gay Sex Scandal (updated)