college humor

Alleged Charlie Sheen Gay Sex Tape; The Sex You Never See In Films; Modern Family’s Reid Ewing and Plastic Surgery

Alleged Charlie Sheen Gay Sex Tape

There’s an alleged gay sex tape going around about Charlie Sheen.

Less than a week after making national headlines for coming out as HIV-positive on Today, Charlie Sheen is making news once again. RadarOnline claims it has obtained bootleg video of the actor engaging in a sex act with another man.

The minute-and-a-half long video, which was purportedly shot in 2011, shows Sheen smoking crack in a Las Vegas hotel room and then grinning up at the camera before performing oral sex on the man.

You can check out the rest here.  And the comments. Some actually surprise (and embarrass) me because I know they’re coming from gay men.

Sheen’s attorneys made this statement.

the “alleged video” had absolutely nothing “to do with the above referenced lawsuit which was filed and subsequently dismissed more than five years ago.”

The Sex You Never See In Films

I saw a discussion yesterday about intimacy and sex in gay romance novels. It was an opinion and you can’t dispute an opinion…even if it’s misguided and wrong in so many ways. One huge problem with sex in books or in films is that there are always people claiming there’s too much sex and never enough people claiming there’s too little sex. In other words, the very loud sexless people don’t mind talking openly about it, but those who like sex still live with a stigma that silences them…unfortunately.

Another huge problem with sex in gay books is that gay men (and I mean only gay men, not B, L, T or even asexual people) are not usually part of the discussion. There’s something wrong with that scenario and as a gay man I find I’m a lot more compelled to speak up about it nowadays than I was in the past. I think it’s fine if a group of asexual people want to talk about asexuality, however, I’m gay and don’t make me part of that discussion, at least not without making that distinction first. 

But right after I saw that discussion, I ran across the article I’m linking to now and it resonated with me because one of the things I’ve always tried to do with sex scenes in novels is not leave out the most interesting parts like they do in films and in other erotic novels. The things that really do happen. For me these “things” are just as intimate as “cuddling.” In fact, too much “intimate cuddling” makes me physically sick to my stomach. It’s creepy in that let’s both wear matching outfits way. 

The things I’m talking about are the little things we all experience during sex…the things that keep it real. Like a lamp falling off the table when the sex is so strong and so good the bed rocks. Or, what happens the moment after climax. I think those things are not only sexy, but they also portray intimacy as well. Especially for gay men. Sex is intimacy, too, in spite of what those who aren’t getting any…or don’t want any…will tell you.

I don’t have a quote from this web site, but you can check out the cartoons here at college humor. And keep in mind you have to have a sense of humor about sex to “get” these things. If you don’t you probably shouldn’t continue. Basically, it’s a series of funny cartoons that discuss the more intimate things that you really don’t ever see in films…or in most books. But they happen.

Modern Family’s Reid Ewing and Plastic Surgery

And…Reid  Ewing came out on Twitter and we’re all thrilled for him. 

If that sounds sarcastic I think it’s because the shock of actors coming out is wearing off for most people by now. It’s still newsworthy and I still believe that no matter who comes out in public it’s not something that is meant to be taken lightly. However, it’s not as much of a novelty anymore.

Reid Ewing, who I’m not familiar with because I never watched Modern family, is now talking about coming out and his body/looks issues. He had some kind of plastic surgery problem. But it’s interesting to note that his coming out isn’t the focus of this story, it’s his plastic surgery issues.

“I told the doctor why I felt my face needed cosmetic surgery and told him I was an actor,” he added. “He agreed that for my career it would be necessary to get cosmetic surgery.”

“He quickly determined that large cheek implants would address the issues I had with my face, and a few weeks later I was on the operating table.”

Ewing says he underwent several procedures over the next few years, but ultimately realized his problem wasn’t one that could be solved by scalpels and botox injections.

I don’t know what kind of doctor he went to but I’ve had plastic surgery…my nose…and I screened three plastic surgeons before I decided on one. None of them talked me into it, none gave me unrealistic goals, and not one of them told me I needed to do it. I guess Ewing had a bad experience. For me any plastic surgery I’ve had was an excellent experience and if I hadn’t mentioned it now no one would even know I’d had it done. My reasons for going to a plastic surgeon were the same reasons why people go to good hair stylists. Simple to figure out.  

You can read more of this here.  I’m a firm believer in plastic/cosmetic surgery as long as the patient doesn’t go too far or get too obsessed, and there are people who will take it to the extreme. However, if you’re not one of those people, cosmetic surgery makes you feel better about yourself and very few people even realize you did it. I think it’s important to make that distinction about cosmetic surgery, speaking as someone with personal experience who doesn’t have any horror stories to tell.

Fangsters: Book 2


Gang Bang Fangsters


A Dumb Insulting Video about Gay Men by College Humor

I just watched the dumbest video about gay men by College Humor I’ve ever seen before. I’m treading lightly here and I’m really trying to keep an open mind about this. On the one hand it’s funny and even I laughed when I first started watching. On the other, the more I watched the more I saw that it’s about as insulting as any stereotype of any minority I’ve ever seen before.

Here’s the link to a video that’s titled, “Gay Men Will Marry Your Girlfriends.” I’m guessing it’s supposed to be a political statement about legalizing gay marriage on a state by state level, and it’s pointed at straight men. To date, I have failed to see anyone in the mainstream media mention Fred Karger and all the work he’s been doing to legalize gay marriage. But I see this nonsense about gay men marrying “your girlfriends” all the time and it is getting tired now.

I do get the humor. I like to think I have a good sense of humor. But whenever I see something like this I have to wonder WTF because the gay men I know are more like the straight men I know in more ways than one. And videos like this hurt more than they help with the way the general public sees the gay community at large.

There may have been gay rights victories in Maine, Maryland and Minnesota this past election, but there are still states out there doing their best to keep couples from getting married.

For those states, the men of College Humor have an ultimatum: Let them get hitched, or they’ll bite the bullet and start marrying your girlfriends.

The biggest misconception I find here is the implication that straight men are all against gay marriage and their girlfriends support it.  And that’s just not the way it works. There are as many straight women against gay marriage as there are straight men, at least that’s how it works from my own personal experiences as a gay man. In fact, the straight women who are against gay marriage tend to be both condescending and militant about it at times. In other words, Anita Bryant wasn’t the only one. I also have many straight males friends who really don’t care one way or the other.

But what I find even more insulting is that gay men have to fight these stereotypes constantly while they are also fighting for equality. And that’s just not something I’m willing to accept without speaking up about it anymore.

First, I don’t cook or arrange flowers. I don’t even eat quiche…never have and never will. The kitchen is my least favorite room in the house and I’m not even sure how to use the big hot thing they call a range. I know gay men who do cook and arrange flowers and there’s nothing wrong with that, but I know more who work as corporate executives during the week making six figures and they spend their weekends putting in hardwood floors and building decks. I could write pages about this alone, but you see where I’m going with this with respect to insults and stereotypes.

This time the dumb video hurts more than it helps because it not only objectifies gay men in a general sense as being prissy and effeminate, but also too dumb to stand up and understand the political implications behind the scenes. Some of us do “get” it. We are well informed politically and we know who is going to help us and who is going to hurt us. You just don’t hear from us often because we are the discreet silent majority. But we’re getting fed up and starting to talk more. Unfortunately, a lot of people out there who don’t know much about gay men and don’t get the parody in the video will actually think all gay men are like this…because this is all they ever really see!!

Try doing this with any other minority in America and you’d be slammed before you could even get your first “like.”