Trapped in the Closet

One of the reasons why I’m not fond of National Coming Out Day is because it seems to be celebrated more by those who are NOT gay than those who are. Yes, I know it’s support, and it’s coming from a good place. But it’s blind support because no one, unless you are gay, can ever understand what it’s like to be in the closet. And all those who are in the closet have their reasons and I don’t think it’s wise or fair to push them out because of peer pressure.

With that out of the way, here’s an article about what it’s like to be trapped in the closet. It’s a series of photos with copy by anonymous men who can’t come out of the closet for whatever the reason…it’s not for anyone of us to question. It’s that personal.

Life isn’t meant to be lived in a closet. It’s dark, cramped and smells like moth balls.

The good news is that more and more, people are coming out earlier in life, saving them from years of internal oppression. It’s awful to lie to the people you care about, and in a perfect world we’d never have to.

Still, there are tons of guys still living secret lives, or worse yet, stuffing down their true identities to the point of destruction.

Here are twelve stories from people trapped within the closet on Whisper. For those who might be reading this who are still questioning whether or not to come out, there is light at the other side of the tunnel.

I do like the way that’s written because it gives hope, and there IS light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. I’ve said this before and I’ll continue to say it: I have never once heard anyone say he was sorry he came out of the closet once he did it. The same goes for women.  You can see the images here.

Black Gay Myths

I like this article because it addresses the ridiculous stereotypes about gay black men, one of which I’m not even going to bother commenting on because it makes no sense. A guy named Jeremy Helligar has written a book on the topic of black gay myths and he’s granted an interview to Queerty.  I don’t think he holds anything back and it’s been a long time since I’ve read anything this candid.

Here’s one of the questions I found interesting:

So you consider the question to be racist?

I do think it is a racist question. What people don’t realize is that by asking it, especially right out of the starting gate, by making us all about how we are in bed, they are stripping us of our individuality and equating us with our penises. After so many years of thinking of myself as a multi-dimensional human being, I realized that, for many, I was merely the size of my penis. In my experience with too many non-black men abroad, being with me has been more about satisfying their curiosity than getting to know the man beyond the skin color. Most gay white men never have to deal with that.

I actually do think it’s a racist question as well…passive aggressive racism. And for the life of me I just cannot understand why it comes up. I really don’t get it. I’ve dated black men myself before I met Tony and the only reason I was dating those guys is because they were a combination of many things I find attractive, several of which are funny, smart, and easy to talk to.

You can read the rest here. The other questions are just as interesting. Please read this if you’ve ever been guilty of this kind of racism. I love this guy already and I haven’t even read the book yet.

Mike Huckabee’s Dumb Bisexual Remarks

Here’s another one that’s just as bad as the racist stereotypes I mentioned above. Good old conservative pundit, Mike Huckabee, wants to know if bisexual people want two spouses…because, you know, they are attracted to both men and women. And it’s this kind of WTF-ery that makes headlines because it’s so ridiculous.   

‘Shouldn’t a bisexual be able to have both a male and female spouse,’ Huckabee asks, according to US News and World Report. 

‘Wouldn’t restricting that person access to both genders be denying the bisexual his or her marriage “equality,”‘ he continues. 

He also says this:

‘Marriage as an institution is not so much threatened by same-sex couples as it is by heterosexuals’ increasing indifference to it,’ he argues. 

Some could interpret this as straight people realizing gay marriage is not going to hurt them at all. It’s not going to change anything in their lives at all. Look at it this way: the same arguments against gay marriage that have been made by people like Huckabee were at one time made by others with regard to women voting and interracial marriages.

There are more insults here. Frankly, I think he’s pandering to his fan base and knows exactly what he’s doing by baiting them.