Category: Chase of a Lifetime by Ryan Field

Gay Victims of Holocaust; Michael Urie on Gay TV Sex; Mark Ruffalo Wins Sag Award for Normal Heart

Gay Victims of Holocaust

I remember the first time I ever heard about gays and the Holocaust. Because my generation didn’t live through it I only know what most people know through media, films, and the most commercial books released. And I knew nothing about gays and the Holocaust until I read an article in the 1990’s about how gay people were treated. It’s something we don’t hear about often enough…mainly because the media’s history of covering up and downplaying anything gay related has always been so prevalent.

Human rights campaigner, Peter Tatchell, writes about it here:

‘We must exterminate these [homosexuals] root and branch…We can’t permit such danger to the country; the homosexual must be entirely eliminated.’ 

With these chilling words, the head of the SS, Heinrich Himmler, set out the Nazi master plan for the sexual cleansing of the Aryan race. 

Heinz F was a care-free young German gay man in the early 1930s. He had no idea of what was about to happen. ‘I didn’t fully understand the situation,’ he admitted with pained regret. One morning, out of the blue, the police knocked on his door. ‘You are suspected of being a homosexual,’ they told him. ‘You are hereby under arrest.’ 

It’s a fascinating piece and the rest is here. I highly suggest reading it when you have a moment to spare.

In semiotic terms…signs and symbols representing something within a culture…the pink triangle is what the Nazis made homosexuals wear to distinguish them from heterosexuals. It’s become a significant symbol still worn today to show protest. You can read more here.

Michael Urie on Gay TV Sex

Openly gay actor, Michael Urie, spoke up about gay sex on TV. He has some fairly strong words.

‘I don’t think it’s overexposed. If gay sex on TV is too much for you, change the channel and don’t watch it, it’s not for you.’ 

Urie was asked about the topic by NewNowNext in light of Billy Crystal’s comments last week about gay scenes on TV today ‘going too far.’ 

Says Urie: ‘I think there is far too much football on TV. But I’m not going around saying they should take football off the air; I’m changing the channel.’

Even though I “get” where Urie is coming from, I think his argument is weak and it makes the rest of us look a little dumb. I guess he didn’t show up for debate practice in college on a regular basis. The problem with his argument is that you can’t compare sex to football and expect to be taken seriously…apples to oranges. There are a lot of people out there who think there’s already too much sex in general on TV…gay and straight. I’m not one of them, but in the same respect I don’t think it was the wisest move to compare sports to screwing. 

You can read the rest here. I’m not even commenting in Billy Crystal or what he said. It was gayface the made Billy Crystal a star. If it hadn’t been for Billy Crystal playing gayface early in his career in the TV show, Soap, he wouldn’t even be on the fucking map. For the record, his character on Soap was the MOST insulting gay clown and court jester stereotype ever to hit television.And yet at the time it was significant because there were NO gays on TV.

Mark Ruffalo Wins Sag Award for Normal Heart

To show that not all straight actors who play gay roles are atrocious, this announcement is something I believe is well-deserved…and so long overdue I’m ecstatic. Mark Ruffalo, who I think owned his part and took the entire film for himself, recently won a SAG Award for playing AIDS activist, Ned Weeks, in The Normal Heart. It’s one of the best portrayals I think I’ve ever seen.

Ruffalo played writer and AIDS activist Ned Weeks in the film based on the play by Larry Kramer. The character of Weeks is a fictionalized version of Kramer.

The award was accepted on Ruffalo’s behalf by presenters Jared Leto and Lupita Nyong’o since the actor did not attend the ceremony at the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles.

Julia Roberts, Ruffalo’s co-star and fellow producer on the film, later took the stage to present another award and dispensed with her prepared remarks to praise Ruffalo’s acting abilities and to say ‘I am so absolutely tickled to my toes that he won tonight.’

If anyone in Hollywood ever deserved to win an award, it was Mark Ruffalo. And, I think it’s important to note that during promotion and marketing for The Normal Heart, Ruffalo didn’t say or do one stupid insulting thing with regard to playing a gay character…unlike Matt Damon and a few others I could mention. He truly is the best. And I say that because we’re still living in times when we get slapped in the face daily. At least Ruffalo didn’t slap us, too.

Here’s the rest.

Chase of a Lifetime


Anti-Gay Message Cake; School Denies Admission to Gay Dads; Patick Stewart Flattered to Be Gay

Anti-Gay Message Cake

Along with the discrimination, hate, and unrest that’s been happening with a few so-called good Christian bakers right here in the US who have refused to bake gay wedding cakes, there’s now another spin to add to the story of free speech, religious freedom, and really nasty people. And aside from everything else, that seriously is what it comes down to…nasty people who carry pitchforks in the name of religion…the holy ones.

This particular holy one went into a bakery in Colorado and asked the baker to make a cake with a bible. She had no problem with that. But when the holy one asked her to write some kind of vituperative statement about gays on the cake, the baker declined and now she’s facing legal issues as a result.

The holy one claims the baker discriminated against his religious beliefs for not putting a hate message on the cake. The holy one filed a complaint.

She said she would make the cake, but declined to write his suggested messages on the cake, telling him she would give him icing and a pastry bag so he could write the words himself. Silva said the customer didn’t want that.
“It’s just horrible. It doesn’t matter if, you know, if you’re Catholic, or Jewish, or Christian, if I’m gay or not gay or whatever,” said Silva, 40, adding that she has made cakes regularly for all religious occasions. “We should all be loving each other. I mean there’s no reason to discriminate.”
If I were the baker, I would have handled this much differently. I’d rather not comment on that in writing. 
School Denies Admission to Gay Dads
I want to make it clear that I’m not siding with the Christian school that denied admission to a child because the dads are gay. I think the school should be avoided at all cost. I think they are the scum of the earth. With that said, I can’t help wonder why two gay dads would even want their kid exposed to that kind of emotional abuse from the Christian school. Are they trying to make a statement?
In any event, two gay dads are now going berserk because some Christian school wants no part of them.

Married couple Brian Copeland and Greg Bullard have been searching for the perfect school to send their young son. Their first priority in seeking a quality education, was a place that would be safe for their child — a school where their family would be welcomed. Additionally, as Greg is Senior Pastor at a local church, a school where a focus on faith was also important.

So Brian asked a friend about Davidson Academy, a Christian school with no direct affiliation to any religious organization or church. The friend seemed to think the school would be very amenable to a family like theirs, in fact a representative from Davidson had told this friend exactly that when they inquired.

I’m sure the two gay dads are very good people. I don’t doubt that at all. I’m sure they believe in what they are doing, for whatever reasons that I’ll never fully understand. But why they would subject an innocent kid to that backward kind of thinking just passes me by. It’s not like fucking Harvard rejected them. Plus, I’m a strong believer in the public school system and the separation of church and state. Get your faith and bible at home.

You can read the rest here. 

Patrick Stewart Flattered to Be Gay

Those who follow me have been listening to me harp about the way some straight men always seem to take offense when someone mistakes them for being gay. It’s like the world ends, their dicks fall off, and nothing else could be worse than calling them gay. And that kind of gay shame freaks me out more than the honest holy one who wants to write gay hate speech on cakes. At least I know where I stand with the holy one. He’s telling me the truth. But these straight guys who claim to support gays and then go batshit whenever someone suggests they might be gay really bothers me.

But that seems to be changing. This is the second time today I’ve seen a comment like this from a straight guy who was mistaken as gay.

Patrick Stewart says he was “flattered” when The Guardian mistakenly identified him as gay in a 2014 article. 

The 74-year-old “X-Men” star tells The Advocate he was ultimately proud of the assumption, which appeared in a Feb. 17 article detailing Ellen Page’s coming out, penned by writer Jane Czyzselska.

“Indeed the first contact I had was from Ian McKellen, who sent me an email saying, ‘Congratulations!’ And I accepted the congratulations and said, ‘I think this is a very distinctive honor that I’ve been awarded,’” he recalls in a new interview with Jase Peeples of The Advocate.

Now that’s how you handle the situation. Take note, little Harry Potter man. When this topic was discussed with Daniel Radcliff and I posted about it here, I was amazed at how many times Radcliff had to let the world know he had a girlfriend. But even more amazed at how many gay men were willing to let him off the hook. Self-loathing comes in many forms and takes years to understand.

Here’s a quote from Radcliff:

 ‘I’m pleased my girlfriend (Erin Darke) comes up before alcoholic or gay,’ Radcliffe says.

He’s pleased….because you know he’s not gay, of course.

You can read the rest of the Patrick Stewart article here. 

Chase of a Lifetime

Will Gay Bathhouses Return? The I’m Gay Text; No to Gay Play in High School

Will Gay Bathhouses Return?

This article talks about the history of bathhouses, how they reached peak in the 1970’s, and how they started closing down during the 90’s due to health concerns about HIV. I’ve never been to one, but I do recall the headlines in local gay publications in the 90’s when they started shutting down. Frankly, from a cultural POV, I’ve always found them interesting.

But will bathhouses make a comeback? This guy thinks they will.

It was a social place then. That’s what I believe our function is even today. Yeah, there was sex, of course, but the clubs we were building had swimming pools, gyms—they had a lot to offer. We have people who have been going to one of our clubs for 20 years, 30 years. It’s part of their social thing. There are plenty of people I know just by there being there so much. It’s part of their routine.

I actually agree to a certain extent that bathhouses are social places, especially for closeted gay men who are married and have kids. But I’m not sure I agree with the way they play down the sex. Let me put it this way. Would anyone bother going to a bathhouse for all that social fun if sex were prohibited? Trust me, no gay man ever went to a bathhouse to swap recipes and decorating tips. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. But let’s be real.

I don’t think they’ll ever make a huge comeback, not with the way gay men are assimilating into mainstream heteronormative society with such excitement. The other reason bathhouses were so popular was that they catered to a closeted crowd of a different generation and I don’t think younger gay men are willing to put themselves in that position again…the position of hiding and being on the fringes of society.

You can read the rest here. 

The I’m Gay Text

This is interesting because I talk about passive aggressive homophobia here on the blog a lot lately…because I see so much of it happening and most gay people don’t even realize it’s happening. In some cases this kind of homophobia can be as simple as a straight guy saying, “I’m not gay, just so you know, but it’s okay to be gay. I don’t have a problem with that.” That statement implies there’s something wrong with being gay, and I’m not willing to deal with that anymore. Or, even closer to home, when straight people tell gay men how to write gay books. And they do…and they shoot us for mentioning it aloud. 

This next article talks about a teen who had his phone stolen and the four asswipes who stole it texted his mom from his phone with, “I’m gay, you know that.” The four asswipes obviously thought this was funny and they knew it would instill shame…because you know how horrible it is to be gay. And after he was roughed up and he returned home, his mom’s reaction was even more interesting:

When the 16-year-old returned home, his mother was waiting for him, her eyes filled with concern. When the teen asked what was wrong, she held up her cellphone to display the text message she had just received from him.

The victim isn’t even gay. I can only imagine the conversation he had with his mom after that text. In the comment section no one even mentions this is the worst kind of homophobia out there and it’s never addressed. To make this clear to all moms and teens: if someone sends a text stating someone is gay there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Go back to life and enjoy it.

You can read the rest here. 

No to Gay Play in High School

In North Carolina the principal of a high school cancelled the rehearsals and production of a play with two gay characters because of too much alleged inappropriate content. It’s a play that’s been done in high schools already all over the US for many years. But the principal claims this:

“As principal of Maiden High School, I have an obligation to ensure that all material, including drama performances is appropriate and educationally sound for students of all ages,” he said.

The theater department is protesting the decision on multiple grounds.

The rest is here. 

The play, Almost, Maine, isn’t actually considered LGBT themed, at least not from what I can gather (I’m not familiar with it). It just has two gay characters. And, it’s been one of the most produced plays in high schools for almost ten years. I found this at Wiki…

The New York Times review of the play in 2006 was mixed: “A comedy comprising almost a dozen two-character vignettes exploring the sudden thunderclap of love and the scorched earth that sometimes follows, John Cariani’s play will evoke either awww’s or ick’s, depending on your affection for its whimsical approach to the joys and perils of romance.”

Chase of a Lifetime

By Ryan Field

.99 Gay E-book

Gay Sailor’s Dream; Real Life Gay For You; Daniel Ashley Pierce: Painful Coming Out Story

Gay Sailor’s Dream

In conservative S. America, a Chilean sailor found the strength to come out. It’s not something that happens often. He’s hoping that by coming out in this environment he will help break some of the myths about gays…in all respects and pave the way for others. I talk about this kind of thing all the time here, the way the mainstream public has some misguided impressions about all LGBTI people.

Ruiz was accompanied by gay activists for his announcement, which he said was not an easy step to take but one he felt was necessary.

“Personally, I hope that this is a contribution to non-discrimination in my society,” he said.

Men like this can only be applauded, because in doing this they help other gay men in similar positions feel freer to come out, which leads to less shame and less stigma…ultimately breaking the stereotypes.

You can read more about him here.

Real Life Gay For You

I find everything about this next article fascinating. In short, it’s about a straight guy who fell in love with his best friend…a man. And the way he fell in love with him is about as good as it gets in life. It happened slowly, while the straight guy was going through a serious illness the docs couldn’t seem to diagnose properly. His best friend stood by him, nurtured him, and even rubbed his back. Keep in mind, the best friend asked for nothing in return, not once. He did this purely out of love.

It’s a fairly long piece, and this is just a snippet of the kind of dialogue that will bring you to the edge:

“Garrett, I think I’m in love with you.”

His expression changed to that of confusion.

“Well, you’ve been so great and taken care of me, and I know it doesn’t make much sense. But, if I’ve ever felt love, this is it. And, well—I think I’m in love with you.”

He stopped and thought for a moment. It was a long moment. Then he opened his mouth again and asked, “Do you miss me when I’m away?”

I nodded my head slowly—uneasily.

“Do you get excited to see me?”

I nodded again, this time with a hint of uncertainty.

He looked back timidly. “Well, then I think I might love you too.”

I highly recommend reading the full story here. It talks about things I think we’d all like to see questioned more, and maybe even see more of this happen with other men or women. I have always said (and written in my books) the relationship between a straight man and a gay man should never be underestimated, and I don’t mean in a sexual way. There’s an interesting bond and when a straight guy and a gay guy find that bond it’s hard to break it apart.

It’s also an excellent web site. 

Daniel Ashley Pierce: Painful Coming Out Story

As wonderful as the previous piece was, I can’t say this next link is anything even remotely comparable. When a 20 year old came out to his family last October, everything seemed calm enough at first…but what happened afterward that was captured in a video, in part, will leave you wrecked.

“No, you can believe that if you want to,” a woman, presumably his grandmother, can be heard saying, “but I believe in the word of God, and God creates nobody that way. It’s a path that you have chosen to choose. … You go by all the scientific stuff you want to. I’m going by the word of God.” She goes on to say that since Pierce has “chosen that path” they will no longer support him and he needs to move out because she “will not let people believe that I condone what you do.”

Pierce asks his stepmother if he can stay in the house, but she refuses.
“You’re full of s**t,” she says. “You told me on the phone that you made that choice. You know you wasn’t born that way. You know damn good and well you made that choice. You know that [your father] has done everything he can to raise you. … He didn’t need to blame himself.”

And there you are. It happens all the time and it never ends well. It reminds me of a commentary I read about m/m romance books a month or so ago where three women on a romance book review web site talked about how the old trope of coming out and being rejected wasn’t working in gay romance anymore because so much has changed for gay men. They obviously don’t know what they’re talking about, but there’s no point linking. These big mouths never shut up, and that’s partly because no one has the guts to tell them how irrelevant they actually are. Young gay men being rejected happens all the time, and if it still happens all the time it’s still going to work in a m/m romance novel.

In any event, there’s more here, with a video clip. They’ve started a crowdfunding page to help support him. All links are there.

Three .99 E-books in the Chase Series

Chase of a Lifetime Book 1
Chase of a Dream Book 2
Chase of a Holy Ghost Book 3

Bad Term Bottom; Iranian Modern Family; Gay Masculinity? Chase of a Lifetime by Ryan Field

Bad Term Bottom

I’ve been posting about this all weekend…not really planned. And I came across this next article about the negative associations that go along with being a bottom in “our” community. But there’s a huge question mark all over this. In fact, the article claims that the most wonderful thing you can say about a man in “our” community is that he’s a top.

This is the single biggest emotional stumbling block gay men have about bottoming — being labeled less than a man. For many of us, bottoming isn’t an opportunity to enjoy a pleasurable sexual experience but an act that threatens our sense of masculinity and the respect that goes with it. Many gay men believe that if they bottom they will become “a bottom.” They fear that bottoming will create a new unwanted identity for them; that they’ll become, ahem, the butt of everyone’s jokes.

The piece continues talking about bottoms and being effeminate. I don’t know how to comment on this one…other than the author of the article isn’t all that experienced? I’m leaving a question mark there because I’m stumped. It’s always been my experience that most gay men just don’t talk about it at all very openly, and rightly so. Most won’t say anything. It’s a very private thing. I don’t think most straight couples talk about it in public. And from what I’ve heard there are many straight relationships where the woman is often the more dominant in bed. I could go into detail but I’d rather not.

There’s more here. As usual, the comments are more interesting than the article, and way more honest. This must have been one of those freebie articles Arianna Huffington has made her millions on.

Iranian Modern Family

Even though I never cared much for Modern Family I know a lot of people do and I thought this post was interesting for that reason. It seems they’ve come up with an Iranian version of Modern Family but with one huge difference.

Iranian TV has impressively remade American TV classic “Modern Family” essentially frame by frame — except the frames containing the gay characters.

Called “Haft Sang” and produced by the “Islamic Republic of Iran Broadcasting,” the stage direction, props, and sight gags are all the same. However, the gay characters, such as Mitch and Cam, have been erased from the show entirely.

Well get my smelling salts.

Is anyone really surprised? Seriously? Did anyone really think they would include a happy gay couple raising a family like the two on the American version?

You can read more here.

Gay Masculinity?

There’s a new project about how we understand masculinity and “queer” culture. I guess they are including all of us in this because they use the word “we.” And I guess they’ve just assumed we all embrace the word “queer” and that we don’t find it as offensive as the “N” word or the “T” word (tranny).

From photographer Erik Cater comes “Be Masculine,” an exploration of how we understand ourselves as physical and virtual beings conducted through portraits and interviews. The project is an attempt to start a larger conversation about what masculinity means today, and why so many gay men expect and verbalize the need for this ideal from one another.

Here’s why Cater thinks this is important:

I feel this project is important because I think that by putting limitations on the idea of what is masculine, we are halting our own progression. So much is lost by essentially asking another person that if you want to share my company you need to be less gay, and that loss not only affects those that make such requests but those who receive it as well, because the temptation to give in to that character can be high.

Here’s what I think:

This guy is selling a NSFW book with photos of naked men.

Huff Po is promoting his book.

“We” have enough pressure on us right now and we don’t need more.

And this guy is so full of crap I’m sorry I linked to him.

But, they are good images of naked men.

You can read more here.

.99 E-Book
Chase of a Lifetime
by Ryan Field

Gay Prides; M/M Rom Kerfuffle; Will Young Homphobia; Chase of a Lifetime by Ryan Field

Gay Prides

Even though June is winding down, gay pride parades are still in full swing. This AOL article mentions a sort of Gay Pride in Singapore, with a hugely colorful photo. This one in particular draws thousands of gay rights activists, which in turn has Christian activists asking for a ban on the event.

Previous Pink Dot rallies have been held without much opposition. But as they grew in numbers from less than 3,000 people when the first event was held in 2009 to more than 20,000 last year, so did their disapproval. Organizers said a record 26,000 people showed up Saturday.

26,000 is a lot of people and more support than ever before. This is interesting because the March for Marriage…an anti-gay march…on Washington recently garnered a handful of people compared to most gay pride events.

You can read more here. The article goes on to discuss more opposition. It’s the same old tired argument that gays are trying to persuade people, when in reality all gays are trying to do is get equal rights. If we had them were wouldn’t NEED gay pride events like this.

I also find it interesting that this article came from a mainstream source, not a gay news publication. I always support gay news first, however, I like seeing these things make mainstream publications.

M/M Rom Kerfuffle

I don’t know how else to title this part of the post. I didn’t want to use the title “Women Who Write M/M Romance” because I think that’s insulting at this point…to women writers and the genre. So I’m keeping it simple. And there was a bit of a kerfuffle recently on a blog where a few fairly well known authors were interviewed about why they like to write M/M Romance. As far as I can tell, the post is only a fraction of the full interview, with short quotes.

Evidently, the short quotes posted from these M/M Romance authors didn’t resonate well (for lack of a better way to phrase that) with some people and the comment thread expanded into a lengthy discussion that covered several interesting topics.

I interviewed three groups of m/m romance authors at the Romantic Times convention in May, asking the authors primarily the same questions. I let the discussions go in any direction the authors wanted with the idea that the mix of authors would put a different spin and focus on the topic.

One author said this:

Amy began by saying that “love is redemptive” and if any group needs the redemptive qualities of love, it’s gay men.

I don’t know about anyone else, but I can’t argue with that comment. I did, however, find some of the others questionable.

However, I tend to look at these things from a blogger’s POV. And as a blogger who started out ten years ago interviewing gay bloggers for bestgayblogs, one of my goals was to make sure the interviews had a higher quality/integrity of sorts. I wasn’t actually protecting the bloggers I was interviewing, but if I thought they said something that might be questionable I usually asked them to rethink their comments before I published the interview. If they saw nothing wrong with what they said, I published it. I never censored or edited quotes, but I did feel a certain responsibility to the people I was interviewing. Maybe I was too kind.

In any event, you can read more here. As I said, the comment thread is interesting because the discussion gets into a lot of topics I think most writers care about while writing fiction, especially these days. My only other comment is that sometimes I think we should focus more on entertaining and telling stories than analyzing everything social or political to the last detail. And, if all authors and all fiction went without a little controversy things would be about as interesting as an afternoon with a sociology professor. Some day I’ll post my thoughts on THAT topic, and how I once had to suffer through the fresh hells of the worst sociology course in the history of higher education. And, the most mundane professor to ever open her big, boring sociological mouth (smile).

Will Young Homophobia

There aren’t many details about this one, but singer UK Will Young was allegedly the victim of some kind of homophobia on the day London Gay Pride begins.

Would you believe on the day of Gay Pride I have been the victim of homophobia. I am SO mad. #pride2014,’ tweeted the singer.

His followers ran to support him with more tweets.

Frankly, we’re all victims of homophobia in one way or another almost daily. Think Theresa Santai-Gaffney of the small town Pennsylvania Clerk fame who recently tried to appeal gay marriage by going over the Republican Governor’s head. Oh yes, good old St. Theresa of the Santai-Gaffney has been promoting homophobia by denying gays equal rights with her son-in-law, Hank J. Clarke, all week. She recently censored her facebook page with a lengthy message about how much vitriol she’s received. Well, forgive me for not feeling sorry for her. For every single action there is a reaction. And when you try to deprive people of their basic civil rights you deserve everything you get and more.

There’s more here about Will Young.

Chase of a Lifetime
By Ryan Field