Best Lube For You

When I spotted this article I couldn’t help but smile because another author recently sent me a PM about this very topic. She had been reading a few gay romance novels and the characters either didn’t use lube at all during sex or they used saliva. I once had an editor at one of the older gay presses go on a rant about this in a mass e-mail he sent out to all his writers. And I think that’s because even though it might be a wonderful fictional concept to engage in anal intercourse without lube, the reality of sex this way without lube for most men is more like a trip to the dentist without Novocaine. In fact, you can feel the pain in your teeth.

In any event, here’s a list of the best lubes for you.

But how do you know which lube is right for you? Thankfully, our friends over at Astroglide have come up with plenty of types from which to chose. You might even want to switch up types from time to time. After all, everyone loves a versatile guy.

You can read all about them here. And if you’re young and not very experienced you’ll want to check this out. If you’re counting on saliva to work you’d better have a good strong pillow to bite.

Naked Gay Shower Selfie Challenge

This one is not as self-explanatory as you might think, and the reason behind it goes much deeper. I think it’s an interesting idea…one we need to concentrate on more.

 The idea is to challenge the notion that having HIV makes you “dirty” by contrast of the often used “clean” to describe a negative HIV status, and the hope is that participants will donate money along the way to help find a cure.

 I think everyone can participate in this, those with and without HIV. The photos are actually adorable. You can see them here.

There’s also more about it here at Pink News.

“Bar Code” Declares Straightness and Gay Bars Don’t Want Straight Bartender

Before I mention why this is interesting to me here’s some basic info.

There’s a straight bar in Lafayette, LA, called “Bar Code,” and there’s a gay bar in Virginia called “Bar Code.” The one in LA wanted to make it clear to everyone that they are NOT a gay bar. And what followed is a long PC twitter discussion about how wrong this was.

“Straight Bar? That’s got to be the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Honestly I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a place of business advertising themselves as being a bar for only straight people. Sounds about as reasonable as establishments being open to whites only.”

That’s just one comment from twitter. There are many more. It’s too long to paste so you’ll have to go here to check it all out in full.

Now I hate to be contradictory with fact and truth, but here’s a true recent story that’s not hearsay. It’s gossipy, but it’s true. Last weekend a friend e-mailed me to find out if I’d heard anything about a local gay bar hiring a straight bartender. The friend told me the bartender who’d been working there for years had been fired for reasons no one knew and the new owner of the bar hired this straight bartender as a replacement. Then the friend went on to mention how the new straight bartender invited all of his straight friends on his first night. And when all the straight people showed up (mostly women, from what someone else told me) the gays made a mad dash for the exit door. According to this e-mail, one gay man was physically ill from it. I’m not making this up. It’s all in an e-mail.

From my inbox, verbatim, with names and places removed:

Interesting news about XXXX: XXXX hired a straight, pony-tailed bartender to replace XXXX in the back bar and clearly told to get all his straight friends to go…y’day the back bar was filled with these loud mouthed straights who’d then go outside to smoke their cigarettes…don’t know if this is what XXXX wants to do–make the place more of a ‘mixed’ clientele? XXXXX was aghast and hurried on home!! 🙂 let me know if you hear anything…

Although the straight bartender wouldn’t bother me or Tony and we’ll continue to go there without any problems because Vodka is good enough in and of itself, I know a lot of gay men who aren’t too thrilled and their form of protest is going to be silence and not returning to that bar or that bartender who brought in all his straight friends.

My point here is that nothing is ever as it appears on the surface, and whenever something like this happens to a gay or straight bar, business owners are never quite sure how to deal with it. And please don’t be all peace, love, hope and change and tell me it doesn’t matter and everyone loves everyone else. I’ll agree that it shouldn’t matter, and I hope down the line it stops mattering, but frankly it matters a great deal right now, especially to gay men in gay bars where they think they’re being pushed out. I would imagine straight people feel the same way in their bars.