Bareback Sex; Hit the Floor: Gay Basketball; Rick Santorum on Marriage

Bareback Sex

There’s a new survey out that discusses when guys are more apt to have bareback sex…risky sex without a condom. Evidently, it seems to happen after using drugs or alcohol. The survey was conducted by Gay Times.

“We set out to ask our readers to be as frank as possible about their lifestyle choices so that, at last, there would be some facts to either backup or debunk the many notions that are frequently alluded to,” Scott said. “What we found was fascinating, and sometimes upsetting, but if just one person now takes extra care when mixing sex with addictive substances in future, then we know we’ve done something right.”

It’s a difficult article to parse, because it sounds as if they set out to disabuse a few misconceptions the mainstream media was promoting and wound up shocked that some of these things are, in fact, true. Maybe I’m reading this all wrong, but that’s how it sounds to me. Out of all the gay men surveyed, three quarters use recreational drugs.

This alone is startling:

Two thirds of respondents said they had sex while under the influence of recreational drugs, and 60 percent said they were more likely to have sex with a stranger while on drugs.

You can read more here, where they list more results. I don’t like to comment on these things because I’ve been married for almost twenty-two years and I’ve been living a married, monogamous life. However, when I was single I didn’t use recreational drugs either. Twenty-two years ago I was too terrified to let my guard down to have bareback sex because times were VERY different.


Hit the Floor: Gay Basketball

There’s a new basketball drama on VH1 called Hit the Floor, and the star player on this fictional TV basketball team in LA is bisexual. According to this link, this star player is having an intimate relationship with his agent. He also had an affair with a woman.

Since Zero had been involved in an affair with a scheming cheerleader, the relationship with Jude came as a bit of a surprise.

You can read more here. I haven’t seen it yet, but I’m going to put a DVR alert on. It seems to be getting more popular these days, adding a gay storyline. Or, in this case, a bisexual storyline. I wonder how long this will last.

Rick Santorum on Marriage

This is interesting to me because I have to wonder if Rick Santorum is really in touch with what’s happening out there these days with heteronormative couples…straight people. He’s always trying to push the argument that same sex marriage will cause marriage in general to devolve into horrors like polygamy. But yet he never actually addresses the issues with marriage that are going on with straight couples right now. For one, the divorce rate. Two, that young straight people aren’t getting married the same way they did twenty years ago. Most of the straight people I know between twenty and thirty are still single, still living alone, and have no plans to get married any time soon. Those who aren’t single live together and remain engaged indefinitely. They even buy property together without the legal benefits of marriage: a mistake. I don’t see how gay people can be held accountable for THAT hot mess. In fact, the gay people I know are far more conservative and traditional than the straight people I know when it comes to marriage in a general sense.

Yet Rick Santorum says things like this:

‘If marriage is simply a romantic relationship between two people, and by the way, that’s what it’s devolved to the minds of a lot of Americans, if that’s all that marriage is well then it’s hard to make the argument that any two people or any three or four people shouldn’t be able to get married.’

Yeah, well, not in my marriage…or in my home. And not in the homes of the many other gay couples I know who’ve been together for the long haul. If anything, I worry more about the straight community and how they seem to view marriage nowadays. Tony and I have nieces and nephews who seem so stuck and terrified to make that move toward marriage they don’t know how much they’re actually missing. They don’t seem to realize they’re going to be young for a short time and old for a very long time…or that once that proverbial ship has sailed it’s not coming back again.

If Rick Santorum really cares about marriage as much as he claims he does, he should get his head out of his ass and address the real issues, none of which include gay marriage as a huge threat. Start working on the divorce rate with straight couples. Tell them what I’ve learned after twenty-two years of marriage: be realistic. You’re going to get old, you’re going to change, and you’re never going to be the person you were at twenty that you are at forty. And, you’re gong to die. If you think you can avoid any of these things, I wish you luck.

You can read more here.

Chase of a Holy Ghost
 
by Ryan Field
 
 
The Ghost and Mr. Moore
 
by Ryan Field
 

Cover: The Virgin Billionaire’s Little Angel…"Think Wild"

Here’s the newest cover for the last book in the Virgin Billionaire series, THE VIRGIN BILLIONAIRE’S LITTLE ANGEL.

The reason why I added “Think Wild” to the title of this post is because that’s a slogan for an ad campaign in the book that has an interesting twist. In fact, this slogan, “Think Wild,” changes Luis’s life in more ways than one. And I know, “Think Wild,” is not grammatically correct. But this time I was going for a catchy ad and I was thinking the way an ad writer would think, not like an author would think. “Think Wildly” doesn’t work, and frankly, it’s not very catchy.

There’s also a bareback sex scene. It’s been done responsibly and the characters all have actual test results and papers to prove they are all, indeed, without sexually transmitted diseases. It wasn’t easy to work this into the book in a natural way that made sense. But I wanted to do it for a few reasons. First, gay men enjoy this. Second, if they can’t enjoy it in real life they can enjoy the fantasy of it in books. Third, I think it’s relevant to the story and the characters involved. For me, the balance in m/m romance comes when a certain amount of reality is mixed with the absolute escapism. Because if it’s just absolute escapism it’s not going to be very interesting.

To balance out the bareback sex scenes, I also added something which I think is integral to the book. There are a few chapters that get heavily involved in HIV/AIDS, and just how serious it is when someone goes into full blown AIDS. I can’t say any more because I’d spoil it for readers. But I didn’t hold back this time, and most of what I wrote was loosely based on things I’ve personally witnessed since I was in my early twenties. In a way, I almost didn’t want to do this with m/m romance. I wasn’t sure I wanted to share these stories in a m/m romance. But I think the readers will “get” it, and I’m glad I decided to do it.

But this book isn’t just about wild adventures and bareback sex. Because it was the final book in the series I wanted to tie things up in a way that I’ve been hinting at throughout the entire series. No spoilers. But here’s a hint. It’s something that Luis has been dreaming about all his life. It’s probably the most emotional thing he’ll ever experience and has nothing to do with sex.

The book will be released tomorrow, and I’ll post more then with links that will lead to where the book can be purchased. I’d like to thank the cover artist at ravenous romance for coming up with something so simple and elegant this time. One thing I’m not fond of are those old time looking book covers. I like book covers to depict the time period in which we live now, not time periods from the past that look as if the artist was trying too hard to be “artistic and creative,” or worse, “deep and literary.”