authors posting about gay marriage

North Carolina Ban on Same Sex Marriage…

This morning I turned on the TV while having coffee and Fox News came on. Gretchen Carlson said something to the effect of this: “North Carolina votes to protect the sanctity of marriage.”

I looked at Tony and smiled. “So she’s talking about the same ‘sanctity of marriage’ that applies to all the straight couples we know. You know, the couples who have been divorced two and three times. She’s not talking about the gay couples we know who have been together for twenty and thirty years and plan to be together for the rest of their lives. I just want to get this right so I can process it.”

Tony changed the channel. We both know and understand it’s more complicated than this…but this is how the mainstream discusses it.

Since high school, almost every single person I went to high school with has gone through two or three divorces by now. I witnessed a family member go through a divorce three years ago that devastated three children. And, for those who think they know it all, the forty year old *husband* fought to save the marriage, not the forty year old wife. She just didn’t want to be married anymore. She wanted to be single and continue to date her twenty-five year old boyfriend. She said, and I quote her directly, “The kids will get over it. Everyone’s divorced nowadays.” So far, the kids are in therapy, all are having problems in school they didn’t have before the divorce, and they spend their time traveling back and forth between their mom and dad’s house because the husband fought tooth and nail to get 50% custody. He would have fought for 100% but didn’t want to make it harder on the kids.

So when Gretchen Carlson is talking about the “sanctity of marriage,” I can only assume she, and those at Fox News, are living in a world with which I’m not familiar. A world where all straight couples fall in love, get married, go to church on Sunday, and live their lives focused on protecting the “sanctity of marriage.” But more than that, she clearly doesn’t know any gay people at ALL if she thinks they are trying to harm the “sanctity of marriage.”

But we’ve been through this before and we’ll go through it again. Clearly, North Carolina spoke yesterday and that’s all that matters. And it wasn’t just about marriage. They don’t even want civil unions.

It also strengthens the state’s position against same-sex civil unions, often considered a precursor to the marriage issue, Bradley said.

Here’s a link to more about the vote in North Carolina. It gives a good overview of what happened yesterday, with quotes from people who are on both sides of the issue. Even President Obama said he was “disappointed” in the vote, which doesn’t happen often. The good thing is that we’re not ready to give up yet in North Carolina, or anywhere else for that matter.

Any comments that don’t agree with this post will be deleted. This is my blog, not a democracy, and if you’re not for same sex marriage I really don’t care what you have to say.

First Gay Marriages in New York


The photo of this couple was taken at the first gay marriages in New York. I’ve been following this and reading other m/m author blogs and I’ve been seeing interesting blog posts about it.

One thing we can all agree on is that it’s a wonderful thing for all gay people in New York to be able to legally marry. They’ve been fighting and waiting for this for a long time and they deserve to enjoy the moment for as long as they can.

But…and you knew there was a but coming…I’m surprised at how little I’ve seen mentioned about the real issue at hand, which is legalized gay marriage/unions, on a federal level. And when I see this lack of understanding on m/m author blogs for all gay Americans on a federal level it leads me to wonder whether the blogger just isn’t up on what’s happening within the gay community nationally, or whether they just don’t get it because they are only getting their information on the surface.

I’m thrilled for the women in the photo above. I’m thrilled for everyone else who was married in New York. But I personally know hundreds more like them here in Bucks County, PA, where gay marriage is still illegal and probably will be for a long time. Same goes for New Jersey.

So while I’m thrilled about legalized gay marriage in New York, I’m not jumping up and down right now. Even if ten more states in the union legalized gay marriage tomorrow, it still wouldn’t be recognized on a federal level and gay Americans are still not going to be treated with the equality they deserve…on some very important levels, too.

So for those authors writing m/m fiction who think they are helping gay people when they post about how wonderful gay marriage in New York is, I wish you’d take the time to fully learn the ramifications of what gay marriage means to us on a federal level and start posting more about that in the future. That’s where it really counts. That’s where we really need your support and your loud voices. That’s when gay couples in the military will receive benefits and when gay couples won’t have to pay federal inheritance taxes on their own homes when their lifelong partner passes away.