Are Engagement Rings Anti-Feminist; TransAmerica Reality TV; Gay Superdads

Are Engagement Rings Anti-Feminist

When I read the following article about a young straight man getting stuck with a $10,000 engagement ring, I couldn’t help thinking in terms of gay marriage and gay relationships. I think that with most gay couples at this point in time, at least from what I’m hearing with friends and from what I’m doing with Tony, we are all equals in our relationships, at least when it comes to rings. In other words, I’m not buying Tony a $10,000.00 engagement ring, and he’s not buying one for me either. We’ve had rings already for a long time. But if we didn’t have them we would buy wedding rings or engagement rings for both of us, and not just one huge ridiculously expensive ring for just one in the relationship.

I’m sure there are gay couples who might think differently somewhere (especially if one is much, much older than the other…those younger second husbands of gay mid-life crisis relationships make out like bandits), but this is what I’ve always known in the circles where I travel. This all gets into a more complicated area, and how in this case there is no gender power in most gay relationships…or gay romances…but I’ll save that for another post.

In any event, in this article a young man who was engaged to a young woman came home one day and found she’d left him, canceled the wedding plans, and decided she wasn’t ready to get married. No problem there. We all have the right to change our minds. Good thing she realized it before they got married. However, as is the case in most of the straight relationships I know, the young man was left holding a $10,000.00 engagement ring that he’d purchased for her with his life savings. And these rings are not investments, at least not unless you have the Hope Diamond or there’s some significant storied famed that comes with the ring. The retail mark up with jewelry is a crime.

When he tried to sell the ring he’d spent most his life savings on, he found that he could only get a third of the original price.

“The offer was staggeringly low,” Opperman says on his website. “Rather than get mad I decided to break even.”

The article goes on to discuss how young men who have been taken this way, and left holding an item that had been marked up tens times its worth, can get back something so they aren’t at a staggering loss. And there’s an emotional investment here, too, that can’t be ignored. If a guy is willing to part with his life savings to buy a tiny little hunk of metal with a clear stone, he’s definitely in love and he’s willing to do anything.

And I can’t help thinking how counter-productive this is to feminism and all the things we hear about these days when it comes to equal rights for women. It just seems to me there’s a double standard when the man is expected to spend thousands of dollars on an engagement ring and he doesn’t receive something of equal value in return. In the same respect, this tradition of engagement rings is just as antiquated as the tradition of the bride’s family paying for the wedding.

TransAmerica Reality TV

From the producers of Ru Paul’s Drag Race, comes a new reality show that might be titled TransAmerica

According to a press release sent to the Huffington Post, Doron Ofir Casting is seeking “beautiful,” “dynamic” and “fashionable” transgender women to take part in a new reality series that will explore the personal and public lives of modern day women who self-identify as trans. “TransAmerica” hopes to redefine stereotypes by exploring the complex world of dating and careers for transgender women, in an effort to both entertain and educate audiences.

You can read more here. I hope they do this right, in the sense that it’s not something that resembles a carnival or sideshow, like TV producers tend to do with anything LGBT, especially with the T part. There are a lot of misconceptions about transgender people out there, and I would hate to see anything that would only promote more misconceptions. I also think there is a hidden aspect that’s rarely discussed often. More straight men out there who aren’t willing to admit it find transgender women highly attractive. If that weren’t the case, the transgender adult entertainment industry wouldn’t be doing so well.

I wish we would see more of this in LGBT romance.

Gay Superdads

This is truly one of the nicest pieces I’ve read in a long time. A gay couple in Arizona, a state like Pennsylvania that doesn’t allow legal same-sex marriage, is adopting fourteen kids.

Despite living in a state where gay marriage is still prohibited, the longtime foster parents have successfully cleared several legal hurdles on their way to adopting a family that requires a 15-seat van just to go to the park, reports.

The Hams’ journey began back in 2003, when the Phoenix couple took in Michael, then 5, a victim of abuse who was living in a group home.

This is another example of real life heroes who often go unnoticed.

You can read more here. The article goes on to explain one of those things that many people consider real life coincidences, or twists of fate. I’ve been studying metaphysics for a long, long time, and I don’t believe there are any accidents.


Tim Mooney Gay Marriage Enemy Flip Flops; West Virginia Gays Speak

Tim Mooney Gay Marriage Enemy Flip Flops

This is one I haven’t been following, but I thought it was interesting because Tim Mooney seems to have always been against gay marriage. And now more than a few advocates for gay marriage are questioning his motives.

Mooney is a republican strategist, he’s worked in anti-gay marriage campaigns in Utah, and he’s always been on record as a supporter of those who are against gay marriage.

In an odd move, he’s now behind an effort to not only legalize gay marriage in Florida and Arizona, but he’s supposedly behind the groups called Equal Marriage Florida and Equal marriage Arizona. He allegedly started these movements after hooking up with libertarian, Gary Johnson, who has always been for gay marriage. But many are still questioning Mooney’s motives. Some are even saying he’s pushing gay marriage in states like FL and AZ that aren’t ready for it.

But most gay rights advocates said they see it differently. Marc Solomon, the national campaign director of Freedom to Marry, a leading advocacy group devoted to legalizing same-sex marriage, is among the dozens of veteran gay rights advocates who have expressed skepticism about Mooney’s strategy.

“We want to be involved in every kind of marriage campaign that results in a victory,” Solomon said. “From our vantage point, the first step is to demonstrate a clear pathway to victory.”

You can read more here. Maybe I’m too cynical, but Mooney is a strategist, not a clergyman. There’s also an old saying in politics that only the amateurs remain mad. His morals are in his bank and whoever endorses him is going to sway his opinions in the direction that benefits him the most. People may not like to hear his, but that’s how the world works and life is not all hope and peace. And if the flip flop happens to be support of gay marriage in this particular case with Mooney, which I hope it is (speaking pragmatically), he can wave the rainbow flag as high as he wants. No one gets anywhere in politics without sacrificing something. They all flip flop. Or, maybe he has a gay nephew.

West Virginia Gays Speak

In an attempt to gain equality for West Virginia gay couples, Lambda Legal of WV is putting out a call to all gay WV couples to tell their own personal stories. It’s in the form of a digital question and answer, with room for comments.

We need couples who are willing to come forward publicly and share stories about their love and commitment, along with their real world struggles as a result of having their government treat them as legal strangers.

If this were PA, I would be doing it there, and here on this blog. So for all you in WV, this might be your chance to help in the fight for equality and make history in your own way. We’ve never been more connected than we are now, and your voices are as important as the people fighting on the front lines.

You can get there from here.

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