When I read the article to which I’m linking right now, my first thought was that this kind of thing could set feminism back three decades.

But, after I’d finished reading it occurred to me that each one of the 9 things listed that straight guys find attractive could be used for gay men as well. When I thought back to when I was single and dating, these are a lot of the things I was looking for in a partner.

Voice, walk, and sharp wit are big on my list of attractive features in a guy. And dancing is important, too, because there’s nothing that turns me off more than someone who thinks he can dance and can’t. That ridiculous bouncing around to music without any rhythm or skill will lose me all the time. If I’d seen Tony do that in the night club where I met him twenty years ago, I’d still be single today.

I love an adventurous spirit, but I also like a little shyness as well. Nothing ever turned me off more than a guy who was too pushy too soon. Aggressive is good. Strong is good. But don’t push me unless you know what’s good for you, especially in the beginning. Though I’m not sure about smell (that’s the one thing on the list that is a little dumb…to me), laugh is important to me. In fact, the sound of someone’s voice can either be a huge turn on or turn off. I have an ex-sister-in-law with a voice like a broken chain saw. How my poor brother lived with THAT for sixteen years will always pass me by.

And, communication is probably the most important factor. If you’re in a relationship with someone you’d better be able to communicate with them well. Because when the newness of the sex wears off, and it always does, you’re going to need something more to keep you from losing your mind.

I’m so glad I don’t have to do this anymore. Being in a twenty year relationship that’s like a marriage in every sense of the word makes me realize how lucky I am to have found not only my own HEA, but also the perfect life partner. But for those of you who are still single, I think these things listed in the article can be important when you first meet someone. And in this case, gay men aren’t that much different from straight men.