When Self-Loathing Gay Men Straight-Wash Their Own Lives and Erase Their Own Gay Culture
The other day a gay author I know and love posted something on social media about how straight people straight-wash gay culture all the time in books, movies, and TV shows. I’ve even seen it done on social media. We’ve all seen this done, and always with the same old stereotypes.
With that said, there are some gay people out there who are just as guilty as straight people. In their desperate need to fit in and be part of the mainstream just like everyone else, they straight-wash their own lives and erase their own gay culture without even thinking twice. There’s nothing wrong with assimilation. I’m talking about the outright erasure of all gay culture in their lives.
There’s this one openly gay man from the TV market I follow on Facebook and Twitter. He’s been around for at least 15 years that I can remember and I’ve been following his gay saga since he came out as gay in public.
I like this guy, too. I’m not knocking him or what he’s done with his life. But since he came out he’s publicized his personal life, from his husband to his marriage to his 2 kids, and there is not one single solitary sign of gay culture in his entire life. There will be posts of his kids sitting in front of the fireplace eating a homemade cake he just baked. Or a family photo of his kids and husband. And they’re all wonderful photos, but they have nothing to do with gay culture as I have always known it. As a gay man who’s been married for over 25 years, I cannot relate to a single thing in his life.
And I believe it has a lot to do with shame. I found this wonderful article that I think could be applied to many different things with regard to the way things are shifting in society.
Talking about gay shame and self-loathing is not easy. It flies in the face of the message of gay pride that has dominated the gay rights movement of the last 50 years. But we must talk about it. Most people wrestling with shame hurt themselves.
Amazon“A wonderful story that I loved. The characters were well developed, and strong. Gus: A sweet young man. Doing something for all the wrong reasons. Craig: his boyfriend, he’ll go along with anything Gus say. Henry: Gus father a no nonsense man, who’s husband died last year. I enjoyed this story.”What readers said about “Altered Parts”“Best Gay Novel In Years. This story will stay with you and you will feel you know every character and the beauty of their home in the mountains of North Carolina.”Altered Parts