FREE Gay Fiction Excerpt: “Don’t Be Afraid of Virginia’s Woolf”
I’ve been wanting to do a parody book like this for a long time, but the whole thing always seemed so dark I kept putting it off. “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf” is not a cheerful heteronormative story, not by any means. I was also never a huge fan because it’s SO heteronormative. I could never relate to any of it.
However, I finally realized that it doesn’t have to be totally dark, and the dynamics with all gay characters make it very different in many respects compared to the heteronormative version. For one thing the sexual aspects are different because most gay couples don’t have the same rigid rules straight couples follow. The gender politics is different, too. I think there’s a certain amount of gender politics in any gay relationship, but it’s different…and nothing like the gender politics between a man and a woman. How do I know this? Because I’m married to my own husband over 25 years.
I don’t have links for this yet, but here’s the blurb and below is an excerpt. It’s different and not what I normally do. There are sex scenes but they aren’t as explicit as I would normally write them. This book just didn’t call for too much sex.
If nothing else, I tried to make it very contemporary.
Description Don’t Be Afraid of Virginia’s Woolf
A riveting contemporary novel that examines the lives of two modern gay married couples who decide to get together for drinks one night. However, just drinks turns into a lot more drama, passion, humor, and emotion than any of them had planned.
In Huckleberry Point, a small townhouse community where everything is manicured and landscaped to perfection, no one is more settled into married life than Preston and Dave. But it’s gay married life, which means there are certain distinctions.
When Preston invites his new younger neighbors, Bob and Tom, over for drinks, they aren’t prepared for what they are about to learn that night. It doesn’t take long for them to discover Dave’s mysterious past, Preston’s scorn for most things traditional, and the eccentricities of an open gay marriage.
While Preston attempts to seduce one of his handsome young guests, Dave allows him just enough space to get what he needs. As the evening quickly moves forward, secrets from their pasts are uncovered, hidden desires they’ve never told anyone surface, and shared experiences only gay men could understand are discussed in full detail.
It’s a modern love story as much as it is a story about modern lovers, and these two gay couples will never be the same again when this night is over.
Preston found an unwashed jock strap on the floor near one of the wing chairs beside the fireplace. He picked it up, sniffed it fast, lifted one of the wing chair cushions, and shoved it under the cushion. He noticed there were a few pairs of old socks already under the cushion. He’d have to remember to get them at another time. Besides, if they were going to renovate the entire house it didn’t make sense to clean it too thoroughly.
When Dave took his drink and headed for the staircase in the main hall, Preston followed. Preston had always loved this staircase. Even though it was a fairly ordinary town home, the staircase was grand and special and unlike any other he’d ever seen in a subdivision. It was semi-circular, with an elegant curve and a wrought iron rail that added a sense of design quality to the rest of the rather bland architecture. As he followed Dave up to the second floor he made a mental note to focus on the staircase during the upcoming renovation. He wanted the stairs to stand out more, to be a focal point, with detailed railings and interesting hardwood surfaces on the stairs, maybe something with an inlay design. Right now it was covered with old white carpet and the rails were basic black wrought iron.
When they entered the master bedroom Preston said, “You’re not going to change your shirt, are you?” There was no denying Dave was still a good looking man. He colored his salt and pepper hair with light ash brown, he’d had the puffy bags beneath his blue eyes surgically removed, and he’d maintained a 32 inch waist all his life.
“I don’t see the point,” Dave said. “It’s late and I’m hoping these people won’t stay too long. It just doesn’t seem fair and reasonable to have to entertain anyone at this hour at our age. Some things are just too social.”
The master bedroom was another example of the general condition of the rest of the house. The white wall to wall carpet had gone thin where they walked the most and now it resembled flat light gray flannel in certain sections. The bedroom furniture, which Dave had inherited when his grandmother died, was that heavy 1940s solid mahogany that had been mass produced after World War 2. It consisted of a full size bed, two matching night stands, a tall bureau, a low dresser, and a matching mirror framed in more mahogany that hung over the low dresser. The windows were covered with mini blinds that hadn’t been dusted since they’d stopped paying people to clean, and every flat surface in the room was filled with used water glasses Preston kept meaning to bring downstairs. In addition to all that, there were Satsuma antiques mixed with monkey statues, and personal grooming products no one had bothered to put back into the cabinet in the master bathroom.
While Dave glanced into the large mirror above the low dresser, Preston crossed to the bed to straighten out the covers. The only time he ever actually made the bed was when he changed the sheets about once a month, but he wanted to at least make it look presentable because they had guests coming over. So he pulled the covers to the edges, smoothed them out with his palm, and shoved a used pair of Dave’s underwear under one of the pillows. He then picked up two empty water glasses from the night stand and shoved them under the mattress.
After he made the bed look better and he hid all the dirty glasses, he kicked off his quarter boots and began to undress. He wanted to put on something a little tighter, and more casual, something that made him feel younger than 40. He’d been wearing the same jeans all day and he didn’t want to make a bad impression on new neighbors.
As he removed his jeans, Dave turned and said, “You certainly are going out of your way for these people. We might not even like them. I see no need to go overboard.”
He pulled off his shirt and said, “Well they are new in the neighborhood. I don’t want them to think we’re slobs.”
“But we are slobs,” Dave said.
Preston laughed. “Well of course we are, sweetie, but they don’t have to know that right away.”
Dave laughed. “Dirty house, dirty mind.”
“Exactly,” Preston said. “But I do want to work on these bathrooms when we start to renovate. They all look the same, with the same beige tile and beige sinks the builder put in 20 years ago. I want fresh, new bathrooms, with white subway tiles, light blue walls, and white marble counters.”
“We’ll discuss that at another time,” Dave said. “I can’t disagree with you. These bathrooms are glum and very dated.”
When Preston was totally naked he crossed to the master bathroom to brush his teeth and check out his hair. He also applied this new product he’d ordered that helped shrink the puffy bags beneath his eyes. It actually worked wonders and made him look and feel ten years younger. At a glance, with his light brown hair and his slim body he knew he could still pass for a guy in his early 30s. “I really wish you’d at least change your shirt. You look like someone’s grandfather.”
Dave just rolled his eyes and said, “I probably could be someone’s grandfather.”
Preston wiped his mouth dry and pushed his hair around with his fingers a few times. “If you want to let them think you’re unkempt, that’s on you. I’d like to look my best and I’m not ready to give in to middle age yet. I plan to fight it as long as I can.”
“Well you’d better enjoy that for as long as you can, because the clock is ticking my darling.”
“You don’t have to make this any more involved. I’m simply trying to look nice.”
Dave walked toward the open bathroom door and said, “Well of course you are. You wouldn’t want the tall one with the dark hair and the tight jeans to think you’re a mess. I saw the way you were looking him up and down. I’ve seen that look in your eyes before.”
“Oh please,” Preston said. “I didn’t even notice he was nice looking. But I did notice that his husband, the shorter one, is kind of plain looking. He didn’t seem to have much of a personality. I bet he’s one of those quiet little sexless bottoms that makes the taller one beg for sex.”
Dave turned and headed toward the bed that Preston had just straightened and sat down on the bed cover. “Of course youwould never make him beg for sex, or any man for that matter.”
Preston turned fast and sent him a sharp stare. “And what’s that supposed to mean?”
Dave climbed up on the bed and rested flat on his back and said, “Oh, nothing dear. I was just thinking aloud, is all. I know how you are with men, especially very masculine men. You can’t say no.”
Preston felt his face getting warmer. Dave was always insinuating that he liked men too much and that he’d do anything for a man. He walked to the bed, climbed up beside Dave, and said, “Well I’m not going to apologize because I find men attractive, and they find me attractive.”
“Oh, please,” Dave said. “Admit it. You like dick not men, you can’t get enough of it, and that’s all you care about.”
Preston climbed up on top of Dave, spread his legs, and straddled his waist. As he sat naked directly on top of Dave’s crotch and wiggled his hips, he said, “Don’t you dare slut shame me. I do like dick and I’m not apologizing for it.”
While Preston started grinding his hips slowly against Dave’s crotch, Dave laughed and said, “But sweetheart there isn’t a man alive who could satisfy your insatiable needs, and you are a slut.”
Preston laughed, too, and said, “Well of course I am. I just don’t like being shamed for it. Now shut up and fuck me before these people get here. I need a man inside me so bad right now I could scream.”
As Preston reached around to unzip Dave’s pants, Dave said, “Not tonight, dear. It’s been a long day. Let’s just suffer through the rest of this evening and tomorrow morning I’ll fuck your little brains out like a good little piggy.”
Preston Spread his legs a little more and arched his back. “Just one quickie, Dave, just slip it in and slip it out. I need a man desperately.” He was so worked up by then he could have ridden the bed post.
Dave slapped his ass and said, “Get off me. I have to use the bathroom and those people will be here any moment.”
Preston lifted his leg and climbed off. He sat naked in the middle of the bed on his haunches and said, “Why don’t you want to fuck me as often as you used to?”
Dave closed the bathroom door partially and said, “I do want to fuck you, just not tonight. You’d better finish dressing. They’ll be here any moment.”
Preston climbed off the bed and walked to his closet. He pulled out a pair of off-white skinny jeans and one of his favorite black polo shirts. He didn’t bother with underpants or socks. After he put on the clothes, he stepped into a pair of blue leather side buckle loafers, turned to face the full length mirror, and sighed aloud. These jeans were so tight they made his ass round out in a more exaggerated way. The last time he’d worn them the young guy at the supermarket carried his groceries to the car for him and asked if he wanted to hook up. Of course Preston said no because the guy was way too young, but in all honesty he couldn’t deny that it would have been nice to have a cute guy in his early 20s on top of him, even if it was just for a few minutes in the backseat of his car.
Gay Man Suspected of COVID and Fire Island Crowds
Whether we like it or not, many people…not just gay people…have decided that COVID is not going to ruin their summer and they are out there in full force. They’re going to beaches, boardwalks, and any other place their little hearts desire.
I saw this trending all over Twitter this weekend but I didn’t see any other crowded straight resorts trending anywhere.
Revelers attending parties on Fire Island, NY, over the July 4 weekend have prompted widespread condemnation online. Videos posted on social media showed little sign of social distancing and very few face coverings.
I’m repeating this again. It’s not just gay people.
You can read more, here.
Don’t Be Afraid of Virginia’s Woolf
“A wonderful story that I loved. The characters were well developed, and strong. Gus: A sweet young man. Doing something for all the wrong reasons. Craig: his boyfriend, he’ll go along with anything Gus say. Henry: Gus father a no nonsense man, who’s husband died last year. I enjoyed this story.”
What readers said about “Altered Parts”
“Best Gay Novel In Years. This story will stay with you and you will feel you know every character and the beauty of their home in the mountains of North Carolina.”
While the book is easily readable, it also addresses emotions stereotypes and relationships. I would have preferred it be 3 times as long and tragically most guys don’t find happy endings as depicted.. but in a short book, it provides food for thought, clarity and insight.. far more and better expressed than 99% of gay fiction . I don’t think it could have been done better.