FREE Gay Book Excerpt: The Rainbow Detective Agency
The Rainbow Detective Agency is an erotic gay romance, with a light detective story. It’s not hardcore mystery or crime, but there is a story to each book that could stand on its own without the erotica.
Here’s the entire list of books in the series. And I always post this whenever I mention the series.
The book numbers in this series get confusing because there’s a box set, which Amazon considers “Book 4” in the series. The list above is the accurate version, not what you see listed on Amazon.
The Rainbow Detective Agency Series:
The Rainbow Detective Agency – Book 1
The Rainbow Detective Agency – L’uomo Magico – Book 2
The Rainbow Detective Agency – A Guy With Two Penises – Book 3
The Rainbow Detective Agency – On Fleek – Book 4
The Rainbow Detective Agency – The Scottish Duke – Book 6
The Rainbow Detective Agency – The Wedding – Book 7
Update: Rainbow Detective Agency – Saying Goodbye – Book 8
Each book in the series is a stand alone, and the excerpt below in this post is from Book 6.
The New Republic’s ‘Homophobic’ Pete Buttigieg Hit Piece
In case you didn’t see it, there was what’s being called a homophobic piece about openly gay Democratic Presidential hopeful, Pete Buttigieg, in The New Republic recently. And they received so much backlash about it they wound up taking the piece down and issuing an apology. I didn’t read it so I can’t comment. I only saw the controversy on Twitter. And I did see outrage.
With that said, here’s an article that talks about how the author of the article in question is now getting death threats.
Now, Peck says he’s receiving death threats.
Yesterday, he tweeted: “Apologies to all the people who sent me legitimate friend requests in the past couple of days. You can probably understand why I don’t want to go through them all to find out who’s real and who just wants to make sure their death threats make it to my inbox.”
Here’s the link to more. Pete Buttigieg is a brilliant man. I’m sure he won’t let anything like this bother him.
When Blair Huntingdon walked into Proctor’s office late in the afternoon, he found Proctor sitting behind his desk deep in thought. Proctor’s head was down so he didn’t notice Blair carrying a long rolled up piece of paper under his arm.
Proctor had been going over the last case they’d taken on, for a client who had been a man pretending to be a woman. If the client had been transgender it would have been fine with Proctor. This client, however, had only been masquerading as a woman in order to set someone else up for murder. Even though Blair and Proctor had solved the case and kept someone from being murdered, Proctor was still sorry he’d taken it on. They’d been promised twenty five thousand dollars and because the client turned out to be a complete fraud they hadn’t collected a dime.
“What’s up baby cakes?” Blair said, walking right up to Proctor’s desk. “You’ve been too quiet today. I usually start to worry when you’re too quiet. That usually means I’m in trouble.”
Proctor sat back in his chair and sighed. He noticed Blair’s beard had grown a little thicker since yesterday. Blair claimed to be growing one of those lumberjack beards because all the LA hipsters were doing it. “I’m just going over that last case with the fake cross dresser. You know we’re never going to get paid for our time and all that work we did.”
Blair shrugged. “It’s all in a day’s work, baby cakes. We solved a crime, the police got the bad guy, and we got some of the best free publicity we’ve ever had. I’d say that was a win-win. We did a good thing. Focus on the positive.”
Proctor made a face and shook his head. “First, stop calling me baby cakes. In fact, don’t ever call me baby cakes again. And I’m not being negative. I’m being realistic. We have employees to pay, even though they hardly do anything.”
“Okay, sweet lips,” Blair said. “Can I call you Bae, as in you my Bae?”
“Bae,” Blair said. “It means sweetie, or honey bunch on the Internet. I see it all the time.”
“No, you can’t call me Bae,” Proctor said. “It sounds stupid.”
“Maybe you’re right,” Blair said. “It’s also Danish for poop.”
“I’m serious,” Proctor said. He was not in the mood to deal with Blair’s banal Twitter humor. “We spent all that time working on that case for nothing, and we can’t afford to do that. We’re still growing and we need to generate more income otherwise we’re not going to make it. I take this very seriously and I wish you would, too.”
“We will get more clients,” Blair said. “I have no doubt about that. And I’ve got a great idea to help us get those clients.” He pulled the rolled up piece of paper out from under his arm and began to unroll it on Proctor’s empty glass desktop.
Proctor stood up and looked down at what Blair was doing. “Why are you doing this now?” He was unrolling one of the swimsuit posters that had made Proctor famous. Proctor hadn’t actually seen one of his own posters in a while. It always struck him as strange that something as insignificant as a swimsuit poster could change his life so much. Almost fifteen years later at thirty six years old and he still stayed up late at night wondering how it had all happened to him so fast.
Blair set a pyramid paperweight on one end of the poster and a white marble box on the other to keep it from rolling up again. He pointed to the poster on the desk and said, “There’s our answer. We’re killing ourselves for nothing. We don’t even have to hire an advertising agency or a public relations person. We can do all this ourselves for nothing.”
“Do what?” Proctor asked.
“We take this hot photo of you and we make it our official logo,” Blair said. “We can do billboards, pamphlets, and even the sides of public buses.”
Proctor rolled his eyes and shook his head. “First, no way. I’ve put all that behind me and I’m not going to use my modeling career to advance the agency. I want to be a good private detective, not a former model who is now a private detective. Even though my fame does overlap sometimes, at least my focus is always on the detective work, not the modeling work. And second, I couldn’t do that even if I wanted to do it. I don’t own the rights to the photo.”
“But it’s you,” Blair said. “It’s your likeness and you’ve made a fortune from it.”
“Yes, that’s true,” Proctor said. “But it’s more complicated. The photographer owns the copyrights now. I made a lot of money and I gained fame from the poster. I used that poster to my own advantage when it became so popular. It got me TV commercials, photo shoots for the best designers in the world, and even a dinner invitation with a member of the British Royal Family. But I signed away all the rights to it a long time ago.”
“I’m sure you could get permission,” Blair said. “Or you could work out a deal with the photographer. I’ll bet he would be interested in making some extra money.”
Proctor smiled. “I probably could. I’ve always remained on good terms with him. However, I don’t want to do that anymore. Let me put this in plain English that you’ll understand. I want this detective agency to grow based on its own merits, not on the merits of my ass.”
Blair made a face and removed the weights he’d placed on the ends of the poster. As it rolled up again on its own, he sent Proctor a look and said, “Well, I have another idea. It’s even better than this one.”
Proctor closed his eyes and smiled. “I doubt that, but since I’m your captive audience I guess I don’t have any choice but to listen.”
“We can do another ad campaign,” Blair said. “But this one will be with both of us. You and me, promoting The Rainbow Detective Agency as two gay owners who are madly in love with each other and planning to get married. They’re doing it all the time, these pushy gay guys. That actor and his husband, what’s-his-name, are always promoting the gay marriage thing, the adopted kids, and the whole normal family shtick. Hell, those two posed with pumpkins, goats, and kittens once at Halloween. We’re a lot more interesting than they are, and a lot better looking, too. We’ll have clients knocking down the door once they find out we are the new hot gay couple on the block.”
Proctor shook his head. “I’m sorry. I’m not in love with that idea either. I’ve been promoting myself as a model all my adult life and I’m tired of it. I want to promote the agency, not you or me. I want to be part of the agency, and I don’t want the agency to be me. For the first time in my life I’m not worried about my own ego anymore. And then there’s us. We’re not planning to get married. We’re not even sure what we are yet.”
“We love each other,” Blair said, without a hint of hesitation. “Those awful sounds you made in bed the other night while we were fucking weren’t my imagination.”
Proctor smiled this time. “Yes. We do have that. But we’re still getting to know each other, Blair. You know how I feel about rushing into anything too soon. We’re not kids anymore. We have to take these things seriously.” He walked around the desk and reached out for Blair’s hand. He didn’t want to hurt him, but he had to be honest. “I really do love you. I know you love me. I don’t want to exploit that for anything in the world. I’m not that Hollywood gay guy who will use you and my relationship with you to promote myself or this business. I’m not that Hollywood gay guy who will use the fact that I’m gay to get more attention. I want respect, not a label. And I want The Rainbow Detective Agency to be a respected, legitimate place of business just like any other business out there.”
Blair squeezed his hand and looked into his eyes. He took a deep breath, exhaled, and said, “I guess I can’t argue with that logic. I actually agree with you this time. We’ll figure out a better way to promote the agency.”
As Blair pulled him closer and put his arms around him, Proctor said, “I think this is the first time we’ve agreed on anything since we met. At least outside of sex.”
Blair’s hand slid down Proctor’s back and he rested it on Proctor’s ass. “It’s not the first time, not by any means. I’m not always sure why, but I usually agree with you. I just don’t let you know it.”
Proctor didn’t pull away. He liked being held this way. He wanted Blair’s hand to remain where it was. “Why?”
“Because you’re usually right about these things and if I let you know it I would be giving you too much power,” Blair said. He spoke softly, with a smile, to let Proctor know he wasn’t angry. “You already have too much power. Actually, you have all the power.”
Although Proctor found this slightly annoying, he didn’t want to argue the point. In his own way, he did the same thing to Blair all the time. When it came to ethical matters, and things like public relations, Proctor usually knew exactly what he was doing. However, when it came to the actual detective work, Blair was the expert and Proctor depended on Blair’s knowledge of the business to keep things running smoothly, only he didn’t always let Blair know how much he depended on him. He thought Blair had as much power as he did, if not more.
So Proctor lifted his arm and rested his palm on the back of Blair’s neck and said, “Let’s go home tonight and brainstorm after dinner.” He ran his fingers gently up the back of Blair’s head. “Maybe there’s a compromise here somewhere. If we promote ourselves as the owners of The Rainbow Detective Agency, and as a couple, and we do it with dignity and no nonsense, maybe it’s not self-exploitation if we handle it carefully. After all, we can’t hide who we are. We should be proud of ourselves, too. But no kittens, no pumpkins, no little munchkin kiddies, and no exploiting gay marriage. There are enough greedy idiots out there doing that already and I don’t want to be one of them.”
Blair squeezed his ass and said, “I say we should own it, but within reason. Let’s show them we’re a couple, but not the gay couple they see all the time. We’ll just put ourselves out there as a couple like everyone else in the world.”
Proctor rubbed his cheek against Blair’s wiry beard. He hadn’t been sure he would like the beard when Blair first started growing it, but he now found it unusually exciting. “See, we can agree on some things that don’t involve sex.”