Pride Month: FREE Gay Romance Excerpt "Meadows Are Not Forever"; Gay For Pay Made In Heaven Actor Talks About His DMs; Ryan Field Books

Pride Month: FREE Gay Romance Excerpt “Meadows Are Not Forever”

Meadows Are Not Forever by [Field, Ryan]Here’s another excerpt from my PG rated gay romance, Meadows Are Not Forever. This time it’s chapter 2, and again, nothing has been censored. This book has plenty of romance, but there’s no explicit sex. I posted Chapter 1 yesterday. I’ll be posting Chapter 5 tomorrow, to show how the story progresses.

Here’s the link, and here’s what one reader reviews says:

The story has a solid conclusion, no cliffhanger. Everything is resolved and all loose threads wrapped up. I would have enjoyed an epilogue about the new TV show, and a check in on Cade and his love interest. So I guess I want more of the book! It would have been satisfying to see Cade moving forward in his career and commitment to his partner, as we saw him move forward in his sense of self during the story.





When Cade first applied for his unusual job in The Valley and he found fifteen great looking straight guys loping around the condo in their underwear and jock straps, he pressed his palm to his throat and gulped.  He’d knocked on the door and a guy in white boxer shorts and a white T-shirt who looked like a young Tom Cruise let him in and escorted him into the living room.
The help-wanted ad on Craigslist had read: “Good looking young gay guy with soft touch and a lot of patience needed for new production company in adult entertainment.  Willing to work long hours with other men.  No attitude.  No divas.  Excellent pay and benefits.”
Cade almost turned and walked out to his car.  But then one of the other guys came up to him, shook his hand, and introduced himself as “Turk.”  He laughed, called Cade “dude,” and said Turk was a stage name.  Cade smiled and shook his hand.  Turk was only wearing red basketball shorts and white athletic ankle socks.  He had nice square chest muscles and defined abs and Cade could see the waistband of his jock strap.  Turk told Cade that the boss, Martin, was waiting for him and he led him back to a small office at the rear of the condo off the kitchen.  On the way, Cade noticed more half-naked guys out near a hot tub on the patio, and fully clothed guys with large cameras.  The sliding glass door was open and he couldn’t miss their deep voices.
Turk walked him into the office and told Martin, “He’s here.”  Then he tapped Cade on the back and left Cade alone with a pale, chubby man in a bright orange T-shirt that pulled across his chest and accentuated his sagging man-breasts.
The chubby man didn’t get up; he didn’t offer the shake Cade’s hand.  He told Cade to have a seat, he introduced himself as Martin Light, and jumped right into the interview.  He didn’t waste time with insignificant formalities.  After he introduced himself, he told Cade what kind of business he was running and what kind of employee he needed.  He spoke fast, with exaggerated hand and facial gestures, and kept his plucked eyebrows furrowed.  Cade had to work hard not to stare at the thick gold rings on his fingers and two large diamonds in each ear.
When Martin said he ran an adult all male Internet entertainment business, a gay website called straightguycondo.com, he didn’t even blink.  That’s when Cade noticed he was wearing eyeliner and a hint of sparkly blush on his cheeks.
Cade sat on the edge of his chair on the other side of Martin’s desk and nodded with wide eyes.  But he wanted to get up and run back to his car.  Though Martin didn’t call it a porn site aloud, Cade knew exactly what kind of business it was.  He’d checked other web sites out just like this himself on lonely nights.  They were live twenty-four hour voyeur web sites, and did live streaming all male sex shows a few times a week for the customers who joined their web sites.  In some cases, customers were allowed to leave tips for their favorite performers.
Martin said, “I need a good fluffer.”
“A fluffer?”
Martin smiled.  “I had a real girl working here for a while because I thought she’d do a better job with all these so-called straight guys.”  He laughed.  The corners of his lips had white spots, as if he’d been sucking on antacid tablets.  “They all claim they are straight when they apply for the job, but they always wind up surprising me in more ways than one.  And the girl was a waste of time and money.  Now I’m looking for a gentle, sweet gay guy to take over her position.”
“Ah well,” Cade said.  He had a basic idea of what a fluffer did in the adult entertainment business.  He’d once seen an older gay movie about it.  But he wanted to know more details.  “What exactly would this job entail?”  He crossed his legs and started swinging his foot on purpose.  He lowered his head and smiled so he’d appear sweet and gentle.  Martin was one of the most effeminate gay men Cade had ever met and he had a feeling that’s the kind of employee Martin wanted.
Martin said he was a hands-on business owner and he was there all the time.  He said if Cade got the job Cade would be required to do everything from handing out lube and condoms during sex scenes to getting the straight male performers aroused.  There was no definitive job description he could give Cade, other than he had to be sweet and nice to the male performers all the time.  Then he told Cade what the job paid and said, “It’s a nice group of guys.  Do you think you can handle something like this, missy?”
This was more money than Cade had ever been offered in his life.  He had to take a quick breath and exhale to process it.  There were health benefits, too.  So he waved his wrist and double snapped his fingers.  “Girl, she can do this job with her hands tied behind her back.”  Inside, he cringed at the sound of his own voice.  He hated playing a fem and referring to himself in the third person.  But the money and the benefits were too good to be true.  He didn’t even know adult entertainment companies offered full benefits.
Martin hired him on the spot that day, and Cade had been working there for almost year ever since.  On Mondays, they did two live streaming shows that would eventually be sold as films all over the internet.  Cade wasn’t exactly sure how this end of the business worked, but it wasn’t his job to know these things.  Cade’s job was to make sure the male performers were pampered, aroused, and completely at ease before the live shows.  At least the job was never boring.  The shows were always different and no one ever really knew what would happen next.
On this particular Monday, only five days before Cade was going back east, Cade had been told they were going to do a live streaming show where all fifteen performers would take turns on a new guy.  They were going to line up and tag the new guy one after the other.  The new guy had been hired for just this one show and he would not become a regular.
The guys in the house were in one of those rowdy, aggressive moods that morning.  Cade could tell by the way they were horsing around and by how many empty beer cans were on the tables.  Cade had learned how to interpret their energy the first month he’d worked there so he could try to predict their needs and save himself some time.  On quiet days, they basically sat back, talked, and either watched TV or listened to music.  But on rowdy days they told dirty jokes, wrestled each other to the ground, and behaved as though they were in a locker room after they’d just won the biggest game of the season.
Though paying customers thought they were seeing twenty-four hours of live action between fifteen straight men living in one condo, there were sections of the house that weren’t on camera all the time.  This is where Cade always remained.  He was considered behind-the-scenes help, like the camera guys and Martin’s other part time assistants.  Cade would watch the guys from the sidelines.  He’d take care of their needs personally, but never on camera.
This was partly because Martin wanted the house to look as real and as natural as possible, as if this were a dorm or a fraternity house, and partly because Cade had no intention of ever being in a porn film.  He had no intention of ever posing in the nude anywhere on the Internet.  He didn’t even have nude selfies on his phone.
He’d seen guys do this on Facebook and on personal blogs, teasing other guys with their bodies.  And though it was fun to look at, Cade always found it hard to take these guys seriously.  As far as getting involved personally with a guy who did this, it was an automatic red flag.  So Cade had made this clear to Martin from the start and Martin had respected his wishes to remain behind the scenes.
However, on that Monday there was a problem.  The actor Martin had hired to deliver the pizza to the guys called and said he wouldn’t be able to make it.  He called at the last minute, only ten minutes before the live show.  Martin started walking around in circles in his office, with his hands pressed to his forehead and his head rocking back and forth.  At the time, no one knew what had happened.  But Martin had a glass door and it was impossible to miss the visual histrionics.
When this happened, Cade was in a hallway off the kitchen where there weren’t cameras.  He was getting three of the straight guys ready for the live show.  There wasn’t much time.  One guy, Kent, was wearing blue striped boxer shorts.  Another guy named Rick wore loose fitting navy basketball shorts.  He had size thirteen feet and slightly bowed legs.  And Dirk, the guy in the house Cade liked the most, was still wearing faded jeans.  Dirk reminded Cade of a superhero in a fantasy film.  He always said the right thing, always remained calmed, and always came to Cade’s rescue.
They all heard Martin yelling about something and they could see his arms flying in all directions, but didn’t think it was important.  Martin was prone to high drama at any given time.  He once threw a paperweight through his glass door because the phone company put him on hold too long.
When Martin shrieked, Cade laughed.  “I guess Martin’s not getting what he wants today.”  Cade was giving one of the guys a neck massage to loosen him up a little.
A moment later, Martin clomped out of his office with his head down and his fists clenched.  “I don’t know what the fuck we’re going to do.  The little drama queen I hired for this scene says she’s not showing up for the show today.  And now I’m screwed.”  He ran his fingers through his thin bleached hair and groaned.  “I had high hopes for this new scene, too.  I’ve been thinking that if it works we’ll keep it as a regular weekly feature just like the massage guy scene we do.”
Cade was still massaging the guy’s shoulders.  “Why don’t you just ask one of the other guys to do it?”  It seemed like the most logical thing to say.
Martin threw his hands in the air and shrieked.  “I can’t do that.  These guys all signed contracts saying they refuse to ever be submissive that way. They won’t bottom.”
This was the first time Cade had ever heard this little fact.  “The guys signed contracts they would never bottom?”
Rick, the guy next to Cade, slapped Cade on the shoulder and laughed.  “We don’t do gay shit.  We’re not gay.  We’re just playing around in the house, is all. It’s money.”
Cade shot him a look.  He let go of Dirk’s shoulder and grabbed Rick’s.  “Well you sure do seem to like me.  That is for guys who aren’t gay and don’t do gay shit.”  This was one of those times Cade didn’t get what they were all about.  Top or bottom didn’t matter.  You were either gay or you weren’t.  He squeezed Rick’s shoulder and asked, “Seriously, if you guys aren’t gay how come you let me do anything I want to you.”
Rick caressed the side of his face and laughed.  “That’s because you’re so pretty and we’re just pigs who get paid a lot of money to do this.  You’re our house bitch.  Besides, youdo all the dirty work and we just sit there and smile.  Think about it.”
At first, Cade wanted smack him in the back of the head for making such an obtuse comment.  There was a hidden insult… a lack of respect…in that comment he couldn’t quite pigeonhole.  He obviously wouldn’t get any serious answers with these jocks.  Oh, what he had to do to make a decent buck in Hollywood.  This comment from Rick made no sense to him at all.  But he knew his job was not to figure out what was going on in their so-called straight guy heads.  His job was to placate them, arouse them, and make sure they always felt like big strong men.  So he patted Rick’s shoulder lightly and said, “I’ll take that as a compliment and let it go.”
That’s when Martin threw his arms up and said, “What about you?”  He glanced at Cade with his head tilted sideways.  “We’ll just let you do the scene.  The guys love you and I know you can handle them all.”
Cade blinked and stepped back.  He stepped away from the guys and said, “You know I don’t want to be on camera.  You knew this when you hired me.  Besides, I’d be terrible at it.”  Just thinking about this made Cade cringe and shudder.
Rick slapped Cade’s buttocks and laughed.  “I think it’s great idea.”
Kent and Rick bumped fists and said, “Yeah, man.”
Cade blinked.  “No way.”  He started to sweat and his hands felt shaky.
Rick laughed.  “You’ll be great.”
Cade shook his head and said, “No way.  I’m not an actor.  I do not want to be on camera.”  He was really thinking about his future.  He knew that once something was on the Internet it never went away.  If he ever did land a decent role on a decent mainstream TV show, even something as cheesy as a reality show, he knew doing a gay porn film might hurt his chances.  Something like this had recently happened to one straight actor on a reality show.  He’d kept his past experience with an all-male cast in a house just like this one a secret from the producers.  He’d tried to be a straight player on national TV.  And when the mainstream tabloid press found out about it, well into the season, they ate him for breakfast and his career in the television industry was over for good.  Even the other contestants shunned him.  In Hollywood it was fine for a straight actor to play gay, but it didn’t always work out well the other way around.
Cade had seen and heard too much in his life to take that kind of a chance.
“We’re going live in less than ten minutes,” Martin said.  He gazed at Cade and pleaded with his small gray eyes.  “I’ll pay you two thousand dollars for this one show.  And only this one show.  After this, you’ll never have to do it again.”
Cade needed that money, especially now that he was going back home at the end of the week for a two week stay.  But he still didn’t want his face on the internet.  “I’m sorry, Martin.  I can’t do it.  I have a rule about my face being in the internet.”
Martin closed his eyes and clenched his fists again.  “I can’t believe you’d do this to me.  I even gave you the time off to go back to Pennsylvania, with pay.”
“New Jersey,” Cade said.  If it wasn’t New York or Los Angeles, it meant nothing to Martin.  Everything in between was just something to fly over.
“Whatever,” Martin said.  “It’s the fucking principle.  No one gets time off with pay in this business. It’s simply unheard of.”
Cade knew this was true.  But he didn’t feel guilty.  “I work hard, Martin.  I never say no to anything.  Last week I spent an hour licking and sucking Roger’s toes just to get him aroused for a scene.”  Roger was one of those quiet, football player types.  He liked getting his feet licked before a scene.  It was his thing.  And though Cade wasn’t into feet at all, he was a good sport and never refused a request that involved helping the guys out for a show.
Martin moved in closer.  He reached out and grabbed both Cade’s arms.  “Please,” he said.  “We don’t have time to waste.  I’ll pay you twenty-five hundred just to do this scene. I’m begging now.”
Cade shook his head.  Martin had those white spots at the corners of his lips showing again.  “I’m sorry.  I’ve always made it a point not to show my face on the internet and I’m sticking to it.  I have no ambition to be famous for sex.”
Martin’s head tilted to the side.  “What if we don’t show your face?”  He looked down at his shoes and said, “I’m getting an idea.”  He thought for a moment; he lifted both hands; he trilled his chubby fingers in the air.  “It’s a brilliant idea.  You arrive with the pizzas out back near the hot tub.  We’ll shoot the entire scene outside.  No one ever has to see your face.  All they’ll see is your back.  The guys start joking around with you and tell you to put the pizza through the kitchen window.  When you lean over to do this, you stick your head through the kitchen window and the guys pull down your pants and take it from there.”
Rick smiled.  “That sounds fun.”
Kent said, “Yeah, man.”  He bucked his hips in a sarcastic way.
Dirk moved to where Cade was standing and said, “I’ll make sure all the guys take good care of you.  No one will get too rough, or I’ll kick the shit out of them.”  He caressed the back of Cade’s head and glared at the other guys as if daring them to say a word.
Rick reached for Cade’s hand.  “You couldn’t be in safer hands, seriously, man.”
Martin pressed his palms together and bent forward.  “Please say yes.  I’m begging on my hands and knees.  If you don’t do this, the live show is going to suck and none of us can afford an online smear campaign.”
Cade thought for a moment.  He glanced up at Dirk, the guy he trusted the most.  “You’ll make sure the guys don’t get too rough.  Seriously, I’ve never done anything like this before.”
Dirk put his arm around him and said, “I promise.  I’ll make sure.”
Cade glanced at Martin.  “And my face will never be seen, seriously.”  He did need the money.
Martin nodded yes.  “No one will ever see your face.”
Cade knew he didn’t have to worry about safe sex.  Not only did Martin make all the actors take HIV tests to be sure they were negative, he also made sure condoms were used in every single scene.  “I must be crazy,” Cade said.  “But I’ll do it just this once.  And I want to get paid after the scene is over.  I don’t want to wait week.  I can use the money for when I’m back home.”
Martin hugged him.  “You’re a doll.  I’ll have a check ready before you leave.”
Cade looked up at the ceiling and rolled his eyes.  At least he’d have a good story to tell Meadow.  And this time it would be the truth, not something he’d made up to make his life seem more interesting.


Gay For Pay Made In Heaven Actor Talks About His DMs

Here’s another story about a straight Bollywood actor playing gay face. The show is an Amazon series and it’s titled, Made In Heaven. I haven’t seen it yet, but I’m planning to watch just out of curiosity. 
According to this article, some gay men (not all) just love him and they keep sending him DMs. And, apparently, this straight guy playing gay has been able to help straight moms come to terms with the awful, uncomfortable possibility of having gay sons. Here’s the quote…
“A 35-year-old mother of two wrote to me saying that homosexuals always made her a little uncomfortable,” he explains. “But, the show totally changed her outlook, and now even if both her kids grow up to be gay, she’s going to love them and be proud of them.”

Isn’t that generous of her. Her kids are so lucky to have a mom who still uses the word ‘homosexuals.’ 

You can read more, here. 

Update: I post a day ahead of time, so I actually did watch this show last night. I could only get through about a half hour or so before I turned it off. The gay parts didn’t seem authentic to me. I’m sure other people have their opinions, but that’s my review. 






Reader Reviews: “This story will stay with you and you will feel you know every character and the beauty of their home in the mountains of North Carolina. A sequel is in order and a film as well. Bravo Field”


Altered Parts by [Field, Ryan]


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