Why I LOVE Netflix’s ‘Special’ with Ryan O’Connell and Why I Loathed ‘Call Me By Your Name’; Gay Guys’ Grindr Horror Stories; Gay In rural America Up 5%

Why I LOVE Netflix’s ‘Special’ with Ryan O’Connell and Why I Loathed ‘Call Me by Your Name’ 

Special is a smart, wonderful new TV show on Netflix about a young gay man with a disability. It focuses on the daily challenges he faces, and what it’s like to be gay and disabled. I saw the first episode last night and I liked it.  I will watch more. I love the writing, the characters, and even the story line. I can’t say a single negative thing about it. Most of all, it is authentic. And at this point in my life I will take any gay content that is authentic. 

With that said, I enjoyed reading this article because Ryan O’Connell, the creator of Special, made a few comments on a movie that I loathe for multiple reasons, Call Me By Your Name. I’ve posted about that already and I’m not even going to get into it now. I’m tired of straight people telling me what I don’t know about being gay. 

With all that said, I found Ryan O’Connell’s comments fascinating. I love him even more now.  

“It speaks to how as gay men, we’re conditioned to accept the scraps of representation,” says O’Connell, who unflinchingly portrays gay sex in his new Netflix show, streaming Friday. “I’m not throwing shade at ‘Call Me By Your Name’ because I think it is an incredible movie, but I feel like that pan away to the moon is homophobic – it’s weird. And it’s directed by a gay man (Luca Guadagnino)!”

He’s right about being conditioned to accept scraps, and that’s just another reason why I loathe Call Me by Your Name. Many of us don’t even realize they are scraps and the film industry just keeps getting away with it. And they keep giving themselves awards. 

You can read the rest, here. And check out Special on Netflix. I think you’ll love the whole show. 

Gay Guys’ Grindr Horror Stories

I think I’m fascinated by these things because I don’t know anything about Grindr…or hook up apps. And I don’t know anyone who’s on hook up apps either, at least I don’t think I do. You never know.

Here’s one of those Reddit threads, where someone titled it, “Grindr Horror Stories.” Guys left some blunt comments about their experiences with Grindr.

“One guy gave me the address of another gay dude who wasn’t expecting anyone.”

There’s much worse. You can check the rest out, here. 

Gay In Rural America Up 5%

I saw this trending last night and it’s the kind of thing that gets on my nerves a little. I’m always amazed that some gay men are so shocked to see that not all gay men live in cities in gay ghettos. The other thing that bothers me is that with so many gay people still in the closet it’s not possible to come up with accurate statistics. If they’re in the closet, there’s no way of knowing how many gay people there are anywhere. 

Millions of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people live in rural areas of the United States — largely by choice, according to a report released earlier this month by the LGBTQ think tank Movement Advancement Project.

On a more positive note, at least we’re now beginning to realize that there are gay people in rural areas, and that they live there by choice. It is an interesting article and I don’t want to sway anyone’s opinion. I just wanted to point out that there are still many gay people in the closet and there’s no way of knowing how many there are. 

 You can check the whole thing out, here. 

FREE Gay Excerpt: The Rescuer by Ryan Field


After Keith’s boyfriend, Chet, turns down Keith’s ultra-romantic marriage proposal on the beach in Provincetown, MA, Keith is left devastated and confused about what to do next. He begins to question everything, including his career as the director of a unique animal rescue foundation that’s partly SPCA and partly pet hotel.

Keith loves working at the SPCA more than life itself, and he loves the animals as much as the people in his life, but he knows his job just isn’t good enough to convince Chet to marry him. It might be time for him to join the prosperous family business, become an executive like his brother, and give up on his simple dream of re-homing and rescuing animals. 

He winds up finding love and strength in some of the most unlikely places, one of which is with a shy, quirky 3-legged dog named Misty who teaches him the importance of trust and tenacity. Even though he’s surrounded by all the things he loves most, from a mischievous pet monkey to a skunk who thinks she’s a cat, Keith knows he’ll never win Chet back unless he tries working at the family business. There’s only one thing he’s overlooked, and when he finally figures this out he realizes what’s most important to him in this world.


He kept Misty at the far end of the barn in a special area where all the larger breeds were housed. They all had well secured kennels and long runs so the dogs would never be cramped. No two dogs were ever kept in the same kennel together. They all had their own fluffy beds, bowls, and blankets. Each pen was heated and air conditioned for their comfort, and they were able to go outside in a secured run whenever they wanted. Keith had worked hard for years to make his SPCA more like a hotel or resort than a clinical government facility. It had always been his fantasy to fill their lives with everything that made their stay at his SPCA more like a real home. He could never be certain when they would be rescued and adopted, so he focused on giving them all a sort of home away from home while they were there. Whenever people asked how he got funding for all this luxury, he would simply smile and say, “I make do.”
Even he had to admit that he spoiled Misty more than the others. He’d placed a sofa and a thick lush carpet in her pen, and then he’d painted the cinderblock walls a pale shade of pink. The other workers at the SPCA joked around when he hung a small crystal chandelier over her doggie bed. He didn’t care. Misty was different from other dogs he’d ever known in the past. To glance at her from a distance she resembled any other medium sized pit bull, with a stocky muscular frame and a shiny light gray coat. However, at a closer glance she wasn’t like other pit bulls at all. She’d been born with 3 legs, but she moved around as if she had 4. She had a severe indentation at the top of her head, and her snout was so misshapen it veered sideways which made her look perpetually lopsided. And if all that wasn’t enough, her eyes weren’t even. The left eye was significantly higher than the right. Her ears didn’t match either. The left ear was about two inches longer than the right. But there was something different about Misty on a completely spiritual level Keith couldn’t quite explain. Her crooked light green eyes melted his heart whenever he glanced into them. Her uneven ears made him smile. He could never be totally sure if he felt sorry for her because no one wanted to adopt her, or if he was proud of her for always remaining calm and even in spite of her circumstances.
She was smart, too. Smarter than a German shepherd or a Poodle, and they were the two smartest breeds he’d ever come across. When he walked up to her pen that morning, smelling fresh and clean from the soap he’d used in the bathroom, she took one look at him and walked in the opposite direction.
“Good morning, Misty,” he said, with a soft even voice. He held the bag that had the surprise up higher and shook it a few times. “I’ve got something you’re going to love in here.” He suspected she understood every word he said.
Misty sent him a backward glance and rested on her bed, as if she didn’t care in the least.
She never growled or snarled at Keith. Even though everyone warned Keith she couldn’t be totally trusted, he opened the gate of her pen and stepped inside. He knew better than anyone that she could be trusted. He showed no fear and he wasn’t worried she’d attack him. Although she looked frightening, she didn’t have a mean bone in her body. She’d been there for a long time and they’d reached a point where he knew it was safe to enter her pen. The only thing she showed him…and everyone else…was total indifference.
While Misty remained on her bed, he walked over to a small sink inside her kennel and said, “I’ve got something you’re going to love.”
He pulled a small pint size container out of the bag and reached down for Misty’s bowl. He opened the container and shook a powdery substance into her bowl, and then he added water and reached for a spoon on a shelf above the sink. As he stirred the powder into the water, he glanced back at Misty and said, “I ordered this special doggie pudding just for you. It’s supposed to taste just like bacon and all dogs love it.”
Misty looked up and watched every move he made. He knew she would never get up and walk over to him, not even if she was curious about what was in her bowl. So after he mixed it up and it reached the consistency of chocolate pudding, he set her bowl down on the floor and exited the pen to see what she would do.
Misty just yawned and looked the other way.
“Aren’t you even going to check it out,” he said. He talked to all the dogs there, so this was nothing new for him. He knew they understood. He could see it in their eyes.
She still wouldn’t look at him.

He didn’t want to force her. His goal was to gain her trust, and the only way to do that would be to leave her alone. If she liked this special treat he’d left for her, she was smart enough to remember. Misty never forgot anything, which was why he never scolded her. So he put his hands in his pockets and said, “I’ll stop back later, Misty. You can check out the pudding alone.”

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