Harsh Kevin Spacey Coming Out Memes
I get a lot of letters from gay men who are still in the closet, and they are in the closet for valid reasons. They find my books or this web site, and they contact me in private. Most live in small towns where there’s still a huge gay stigma, and some live in parts of the world where coming out could get them killed…literally killed. I correspond regularly with a closeted gay Amish man (one of the nicest people I have ever met) who has lived his life married to a woman and he has children. He’s lived a good life and a productive life. I think there are some valid reasons why people don’t come out of the closet. And I never judge.
But I do find this Hollywood hypocrisy thing confusing. There are gay men in Hollywood who came out in their private lives years ago, but they remain in the closet because they believe it might hurt their careers. Well, it might hurt their careers…I’m not sure about that. But I am sure they live in this privileged world where hypocrisy is a way of life. These are ambitious people who will stop at nothing to get what they want while the closeted gay guys who really can’t come out at all suffer in private and the brave gay men in Hollywood like Colton Haynes deal with the career issues alone. So I have very little tolerance for that kind of Hollywood hypocrisy…the kind where a gay man is open to all his friends and family, but remains in the closet so he can get the next movie deal or sign the next contract. That’s not fair to everyone else. Plus, it only continues to promote the shame that’s always been associated with being gay.
With all that said, Kevin Spacey has faced more than his fair share of backlash recently thanks to his unusual attempt at coming out. Under any circumstances this coming out announcement is not a huge surprise, but these are some really powerful circumstances. They are alleged circumstances that make this entire Hollywood sex abuse scandal even worse.
In case you haven’t heard yet: On Sunday, actor Anthony Rapp accused Spacey of making untoward sexual advances on him when he was just 14 years old. Spacey was 26. In response, Spacey issued a hasty statement saying he was drunk at the time and didn’t remember the alleged incident… Then he came out as gay. Surprise!
Here’s what Spacey said…
In my life I have had relationships with both men and women. I have loved and had romantic encounters with men throughout my life, and I choose now to live as a gay man. I want to deal with this honestly and openly and that starts with examining my own behavior.
First and foremost you don’t choose to be gay. I didn’t choose to be gay, and neither did my Amish friend who’s still living in the closet. People are born gay. Spacey just chose to pretend to be straight all those years. There’s a difference.
You can read the rest here. There are comments. Of course there’s the usual victim blaming and shaming.
Jason Dottley On Hollywood Sex Abuse With Men
I had a feeling we’d be hearing more about this sex abuse scandal in Hollywood. Jason Dottley was part of the Sordid Lives cast a few years ago, and now he’s speaking up.
On Monday, the 36-year-old entertainer posted a lengthy Facebook status update alleging widespread sexual harassment and abuse at the hands of industry professionals when he was a teenager trying to make it as an actor.
There’s more, plus the full statement, here.
Colton Haynes and Jeff Leatham’s Wedding Video
On a more positive note, which I think most people need nowadays, here are some great wedding images that were taken in Palm Springs at Haynes and Leatham’s wedding. It’s actually a video.
The below video will allow you to gently re-enter polite society, firm in the confidence that you’re up to date on every breath Haynes has taken in the last 72 hours. We did this for you.
Here’s more. Even though the comments are a little cruel, I think it’s adorable and I’m still shocked this is now possible for gay men to do…get married. I hope it’s a long and happy marriage.
Someone said they’re going to hyphenate their names.