Month: July 2016

Bi-curious vs. Bisexual; TV Host Uses the "T" Word; Body Image Issues and Homoerotic Art Photos

Bi-curious vs. Bisexual 

I think this topic fascinates (and confuses) me as much as it does so many other people.

There’s been a lot of talk about bisexuality, bicuriousity and hereoflexibility this week. First, a wife wrote to advice columnist Coleen Nolan about her husband who she claims got drunk and hooked up with not one but two separate guys on a boys’ trip.

The article goes on to question when does bicuriousity actually become bisexual.

You can check that out here.

To my surprise, there are no comments with this one yet. In fact, I’m noticing less comments on all the articles I’m reading lately.

TV Host Uses the “T” Word

For those who don’t know, the “T” word is now considered a pejorative in any context. I never really used it much when everyone else was using it because I always felt uncomfortable about it. I know it’s a common slang term, and not always meant in a negative way in drag culture, but I just personally never liked it much. And I always thought that if a word bothers a group of people that much, just don’t use it.

In any event…

Mistakes were made, and subsequently atoned for. On Thursday morning, Australian television host Karl Stefanovic raised the ire of Today Show viewers with offhanded remarks about the transgender community, referring to them as “trannies.”

Stefanovic has since apologized. I think he sounds sincere.  You can read more about it here. 

Body Image Issues and Homoerotic Art Photos

A photographer who had issues with his own body image came up with an interesting idea. Instead of focusing on the typical perfect male body image you see all the time, he photographed real guys with real bodies. And he created some excellent artistic images in the process.

“The people I’m most interested in are natural and true,” he explains. “I try to capture their sensitivity, fragility and even vulnerability And I try to show a diversity of personalities and physiques.”

How brilliant is that? I don’t think this should be an excuse to stop going to the gym and to start gorging yourself with pizza and doughnut carbs, but I do think it’s a nice change from the ridiculously photo shopped images we see all the time. That photo shop deal is becoming a cliche…a boring cliche.  

You can check out some of the photos here.

Valley of the Dudes

Exploring the gay open relationship in…


Joys of Being a Gay Slut; Nick Jonas and Gay Baiting Accusations; The Out NYC Hotel Goes Straight

Joys Of Being A Gay Slut

I think this is interesting, and it’s not just clickbait.

How slutty is too slutty, or is there any such thing? That’s the question journalist Jeff Leavell grappled with after reading an op-ed by British writer Dylan Jones, where he learned, in no uncertain terms,  that he was a “world-class slut.

The article says that Jones slept with at least 400 different men. 

You can check the rest out here.

Nick Jonas and Gay Baiting Accusations

This topic never seems to end. Nick Jonas once again claims he’s not, and never has, gay baited to get attention.

“Think about my past and where my love for performance comes from — musical theater,” he says. “And playing this gay fighter in a very macho world for Kingdom, it requires me digging really deep, and I do it with respect and honor.”

I have no idea what that means. You can read the rest here.

The Out NYC Hotel Goes Straight

This article takes a political slant on something that I think is more of a social issue. 

Evidently, The Out NYC Hotel for gays hasn’t been turning a profit and now it’s going mainstream.

Out NYC, aka The Out Hotel, in New York City‘s Hell’s Kitchen, has been sold to Merchants Hospitality, who signed a $40 million contract to take over the lease. They are expected to change the name and drop the gay angle, due to falling revenue.

The fact is that most gay people are assimilating, and gay bars and businesses all over the world are either shuttering for good or struggling to survive.  

You can read the rest here.  

Valley of the Dudes

Exploring the gay open relationship in…



A Penis On the Way To Work; Buckingham Phallus: House Shaped Like A Penis; Joe Jonas On His Own Penis Size

A Penis On the Way To Work

This one is about a woman who saw a penis on her way to work. 

But when you’re personally faced with a stranger’s erection before 8am when you’ve barely taken down your breakfast, it becomes less of a non-event. I’m actually fairly taken aback, and if I’m being honest, pretty shook up. Thanks man. Exactly what I was after as a side to my latte – an eyeful of erect penis and a big fat grunt worthy of a Seventies porno. 

Here’s the rest. I’m glad it goes on to talk about how she phoned the police, and there’s a phone number to call in case this should happen to you.

Buckingham Phallus: House Shaped Like A Penis

This is actually a very beautiful mid-century home in Australia, and it happens to be shaped like a penis.

It’s got four bedrooms, two bathrooms and it’s shaped like a penis.

Yes, a penis, a wedding tackle, love dart or twig and berries.

Real estate agents say it’s “unique and very private” — that sure is one way to describe it.

You can check that out here.

When you see it you don’t automatically see a penis. It’s the floor plan that gives whimsical design a whole new meaning.

Joe Jonas On His Own Penis Size

I feel as if I should apologize ahead of time for this one. However, for those who don’t know, Joe Jonas is the brother of the alleged gay-baiting Nick Jonas.

Not only did Cohen get Jonas to HIGHlariously answer which Jonas Brother had the largest package, but the DNCE singer also dished about a song that will piss someone off — oh, AND he played a game of Marry, Shag, Kill with his exes Taylor Swift, Demi Lovato, and Gigi Hadid.

It’s Saturday, it’s the middle of summer, and there’s not much else to post about that isn’t too political this week.

Here’s the rest

Valley of the Dudes

Exploring the gay open relationship in…



Valley of the Dudes: Audio Rights Sold; Hillary Clinton and Pride Parades; USS Harvey Milk and Gay History

Valley of the Dudes: Audio Rights Sold

I just learned that the audio rights to Valley of the Dudes were licensed this week.

From my inbox:

We have good news which is that Insatiable (an audio book vendor) has licensed the audio rights for Valley of the Dudes.

Here’s a general link to Insatiable. When I get a link to the audio book for Valley of the Dudes, I’ll post it. It’s the first book since An Officer and His Gentleman to be offered in audio and I’m very excited about it. I think the market for audio books is growing. 

And below are details about Valley of the Dudes in e-book or in paperback.

Hillary Clinton and Pride Parades

Even though I hate to get political here on the blog, I promised I’d write an objective post about Secretary Clinton this week. So here’s one about the time she marched in a pride parade…with a list of other things she’s done for the LGBT community.

Verbatim, from a queer press…

Made a couple of Pride Parade firsts
Clinton became the first First Lady to march in a Pride Parade. This year she became the first major presidential candidate to march in a Pride Parade (sorry, Barack). Plus, she sure looked like she was having a blast doing it.

You can check that one out here. There are five other accomplishments that have benefited the LGBT community.

USS Harvey Milk

I find this possible news about Harvey Milk amazing. But just to be clear, Harvey Milk was not a gay icon. Harvey Milk is much more than an icon.  For one thing, he was the first openly gay man to be elected to office in the state of California during a time when few were doing anything this brave.

You can, and should, read more about him here. He was one of the most fascinating and respected men in gay history, and I think we need to show his legacy more respect than “icon.”  

Licked your very last Harvey Milk stamp while mailing out your gas bill? Not to worry. The gay icon and legendary San Francisco politician is about to have a Navy ship named after him, if reports are to be believed.

You can read more here. Milk was in the Navy during the Korean War and he came from a Navy family.  His nephew made a statement, too.

 Valley of the Dudes

Exploring the gay open relationship in…



Openly Gay NCAA Player Quitting Sport; Oldest Gay Book Store Relocates; Straight Guys Reveal Gayest Experiences

Openly Gay NCAA Player Quitting Sport

This is not only a different story, it’s enlightening.

Derrick Gordon made history this year when he became the first openly gay player to play in the NCAA basketball tournament known as March Madness.

But Gordon, 24, isn’t looking to turn pro.

He announced this that he’s now leaving the sport behind to focus on the next stage his life: becoming a firefighter.

You can read more about him, here. He came out in the first place to set an example and to help others who were still living in the closet.

World’s Oldest Gay Bookstore Relocates…Kind Of Sort Of

Even though I still believe that digital books will dominate the market in the years to come, and I know for a fact it’s still less expensive for readers to order books online now, I’ve always believed that some brick and mortar book stores will stick around. At least for a while. I think it all depends on how they reinvent themselves, and how much competition is left in the marketplace.

The world’s oldest surviving LGBTI bookstore, Glad Day Bookshop in Toronto, has announced that it is set to move to larger premises next month.

Glad Day opened in 1970, before there was much of an established gay scene in Toronto. Since 1981, it has occupied a small, cramped second floor space on Yonge Street.

Despite the lack of space, it has enjoyed a loyal following who return to browse the books, magazines and comics, or listen to author readings and attend other events. 

You can check out the rest here.

There’s a catch, and it’s a clever one. It’s not just books anymore. They’re turning it into a cafe and a bar with live performances. So does that still make it a book store? Or is it now a bar with books? I guess we’ll have to wait and see. But I do think it’s a smart move.

It will offer a café bar during the day and alcohol and performance space in the evenings.
Straight Guys Reveal Gayest Experiences 

This topic gets a lot of people annoyed, but I admit I do find interesting…and funny at times.

Straight guys have revealed their gayest experience they’ve ever had, and it gets pretty erotic.
Here’s a selection of our favorites from Reddit:

‘I was swimming with my friend in a lake at a crowded beach. He grabbed my dick and said “whoops, a fish”. Never asked him why he did it.’ 

You can check them out here. A few will make you wonder.

 Valley of the Dudes

Exploring the gay open relationship in…

Straight TV Host Slept With Men; Closeted Sailor Accidentally Outed; Miss Cleo Is Dead

Straight TV Host Slept With Men

This one is just plain weird. And I think the people who write these articles leave a great deal to be desired. Some guy from Australia who hosts a reality show claims he’s straight but he’s slept with men, too.

“You’ve got to go on all the rides at Dreamworld before you find the one you want to stay on all day,” he said, before adding he’s gave up fooling around with fellas “a long time ago.”

This is the second time he’s discussed the subject publicly. In January, he told another radio station, “I’ve got no problems talking about that I’ve pashed a bloke or two.”
You can read the rest here. He’s not claiming to be bi-sexual, pansexual, or any other kind of sexual. He’s straight. 
He can go on all the rides in Dreamworld he wants. I’ll stick to one.
Closeted Sailor Accidentally Outed
This one talks about something I’ve been saying for a long time here on the blog. It’s never (ever) easy to come out, but I’ve never met anyone who did come out who regretted it in the long run. The interesting thing is that most people already know anyway.
It talks a lot about his (valid) fears of coming out, but there’s this, too…
He says he is now a much happier, productive and successful person and that while he still faces discrimination he is working to fight back against those antiquated ideas.
Miss Cleo Is Dead
This is sad, especially because she was so young. 

No more calling Miss Cleo for spiritual advice. The iconic ’90s TV psychic has died, her rep confirms.

Cleo, whose real name was Youree Harris, passed away earlier today in Palm Beach County, Florida. She was 53 years old.

The rest is here. She was also an openly gay woman.

I never actually called Miss Cleo, but I have been known to visit a psychic…or two…in my time.

 Valley of the Dudes

Exploring the gay open relationship in…


Free Gay Excerpt: "Uncertainty" by Ryan Field

Free Gay Excerpt: “Uncertainty” by Ryan Field

Here’s a free excerpt from my upcoming release titled, “Uncertainty.” I actually do these things from time to time because it helps me with the very final editing. I have the book edited first, and then I do all the final revises alone. That’s the hardest part of indie publishing for me, and why I prefer working with publishers. I need to know that the final edits were done by me. And it never seems like enough. I don’t even have a cover yet for this one, but posting it here on the blog actually helps me see it differently.

This is a raw excerpt, so please keep that in mind.

Here’s the blurb.

When Gus Baldwin realizes that his gay dad is serious about marrying a much older man for safety and security instead of love, he concocts a plot that he hopes will change his dad’s mind. Even though his other dad has been dead for over a year, Gus wants his surviving dad to find love and happiness someday with a new husband. 

However, their financial situation is about as bad as it gets and they’re on the brink of losing their grand old Victorian home, and everything about their perfect lives is threatened. So Gus winds up putting his own marriage on hold with the guy he’s been in love with since high school. It’s so bad he’s even thinking of quitting college to help support his dad and his younger brother just so his dad won’t have to marry the older man. 

After Gus convinces his dad to take a road trip in their vintage 1950s station wagon to their getaway cabin in the mountains, along with his younger brother, his future husband, and their nineteen year old dog named Special, their lives change in ways none of them ever anticipated. And even though the future is still uncertain in some respects, they discover a few things about themselves on this trip they never could have predicted. 

Here’s the Excerpt:

Every year in June, Palmer Hill High School had an awards ceremony that focused on the achievements of students, faculty, staff, and parents. It was an end of the school year tradition held on the last day of school that had been going on since 1958. Almost everyone in the little town of Palmer Hill, Pennsylvania attended.
Even though the awards were the main focus, the program included local talent performing amateur acts that could range from Miss Ina Jennings, the school librarian, singing opera, to Mrs. Betsy Dare, the school nurse, doing stand-up comedy. Once in a while Ms. Sister Herbert…her legal first name was actually Sister…the biology teacher, gave a poetry reading. Last year one of the history teachers, Ms. LaTonda Shaqueille, read an excerpt from her recently self-published novel about the Alamo, which put a few people to sleep and tempted others in the back row to Tweet and Instagram.
In between the awards and entertainment, light refreshments were served in the main hall. Big Martha Jasper brought her homemade lemon squares, Elise Freemont came with huge trays of brownies, and Miss Johnson, the transgender gym teacher, brought gluten-free kale cookies that most people avoided. There was so much food baked by the hands of good natured Christian women everyone wound up taking something home at the end of the night.
There were also certain parts of the evening that everyone anticipated with smiles and whispers. Who would win Parent of the Year was one of them. It used to be called the Mom of the Yearaward, however, the award committee had changed that a few years earlier due to the fact that so many stay-at-home dads were now so involved with school projects. Even though Palmer Hill was only a small town in Pennsylvania, they prided themselves on being progressive in all things social and political. In fact, the school board actually gave Principal Mary Lucille a raise in pay after she came out of the closet and announced she was marrying a former nun named Joan Berkley, the town’s librarian, in the Gazebo at the town square. For one solid month, almost everyone in town had a rainbow flag hanging on their front porch in a show of support.
Another popular feature of the evening that kept everyone on the edge was a former Palmer Hill High School student and star football player, Gus Baldwin. Although Gus now attended the local community college where he majored in music, he still sang his version of Hallelujah at the end of the evening, right after they announced the Parent of the Year award. If Gus had had any say in the matter, he would have stopped performing after he graduated. However, his gay dad, Henry Baldwin, was the music teacher at Palmer Hill High School, and head of the Palmer Hill Glee Club, and he begged Gus to continue doing it every year. And when Gus’s other dad died suddenly in an automobile accident a year earlier, Gus couldn’t refuse.
The fact that Gus looked like Nick Jonas and sounded like Harry Connick Jr. drove most of the women to pull tissues out of their purses while he sang. The men tapped their feet and gazed at him. Little children would stop fidgeting and stare at the stage the moment he hit the first note. Gus’s smooth even voice, combined with his thick brown hair and tight slim body, brought the proverbial curtain down every year. The award ceremony wouldn’t have been the same without Gus, and it compensated for having to sit through Chester Bork’s awful accordion rendition of Stars Fell on Alabama, and curvy Misty Robinson’s fire baton twirling act.
During intermission that year, while everyone raced toward the lemon square table, Gus heard a text alert and he glanced down at his phone. He smiled when he read it. “Meet me in the locker room right now.”
He read it again, shook his head, and replied, “I can’t meet you now. I’m going to perform soon. I’ll see you later tonight after the award ceremony.”
Gus waited a moment, and then read the reply to his reply. He knew it was coming. “Get back here now.”
He smiled, turned, and headed back to the locker rooms where the football players showered. He knew it would be empty. They used the girl’s locker room as a dressing room for the awards ceremony because everyone claimed the boy’s locker room smelled too damp and musty. Principal Mary Lucille, who had always preferred the girl’s locker room anyway, claimed the scent of swampy young men in the boy’s locker room was so strong it made her left eye twitch and she refused to step through the doorway.
The smell of young men didn’t bother Gus at all. It made him feel comfortable in a way that was hard to describe. When he entered the dark boy’s locker room that night he took a deep breath, inhaled, and smiled. As he crossed to the back where the showers were located, he heard a locker door slam. He figured it had to be his boyfriend, Craig Hasselthorn, because everyone else was out front eating lemon squares and drinking surgery orange punch out of little cardboard containers.
“Where are you?” Gus said, as he rounded a locker room bench. He spotted a discarded jock strap on the floor. He hadn’t been back there since he’d graduated from High School and so many memories came rushing back to him.
“I’m back here,” Craig said. “I’ve got something real special for you.”
Gus followed the sound of his voice to a locker room bench near the shower room entrance and laughed. “Oh, I’ll bet you do.”
He found Craig sitting in the middle of the bench, with his strong, fuzzy legs hanging over each side, resting back on his hands. Craig wasn’t wearing anything except a jock strap and a great big smile.