Month: November 2015

A Christmas Carl Print/Paperback; Defying Gay Stereotypes; Queerty Writer Doesn’t Like TROLLS or Butthurt??

A Christmas Carl Print/Paperback

Twenty years ago when my stories first started showing up in gay anthologies by gay presses like Alyson Publications, I used to get excited whenever my author copies came in the mail.

And now, after over one hundred digital releases, I have to admit that I’m still just as thrilled as I was back then when I opened the mailbox this weekend and found my author copies in print.

This time it’s even better because I did it without a publisher. Many of you may not know that even though all of my Ravenous Romance novels were released as both e-books and print, I never once received an author copy of a print book from Ravenous Romance. They just didn’t do that. If I wanted a copy of a Ravenous Romance book that I authored, I was told that I had to order it and pay for it myself.

So I never bothered. I did receive digital author copies, and that was exciting, too. But there’s something about seeing these books in print that’s hard to describe. And I’m not going to go back to reading print books for personal pleasure, not ever. I love my digital library. But the print books give me something tangible. I guess some old habits just can’t be broken.

In any event, here’s where you can find A Christmas Carl now as an e-book or as a paperback.

Defying Gay Stereotypes

Here are a series of memes with quotes by gay men who are defying the stereotypes we see all too often.

I like this one:

I’m a gay police officer. I don’t do anything sexy like use handcuffs in bedroom, nor have I ever seduced a straight man. My job is really normal and I like it that way.

I like the other quotes, too. Many of them seem to want to bring home the point that gay men don’t always have women friends…because they have so little in common with straight women. But there is one thing in particular I didn’t find here that I think has become a very serious stereotype. This concept…this rule…that all gay men have to follow the same brand of politics. And that simply just isn’t so.

They didn’t mention the “gay icon” stereotype either, which is always something that’s passed me by.  Not every gay man loves Cher, Bette Midler, or any of the others.

The other issue I have is that just because something is a stereotype doesn’t make it wrong…or even bad. I think the main focus is that gay men are highly diverse. 

You can check them all out here. 

Queerty Writer Doesn’t Like TROLLS or Butthurt?

This is rich. It’s an article about butthurt from a writer with a gay press who would probably be the first to scream free speech if anyone tried to silence his personal views.

I once saw an exchange on a small personal blog where someone commented and disagreed with the author of the blog post…a gay author. The author of the post RAN to social media, posted there was a TROLL commenting on his post, and his minions followed him back there with popcorn. 

The only problem is that I was there watching this entire exchange, silently, too. I didn’t see a troll anywhere. I saw someone commenting who didn’t agree with a highly charged topic and he or she was expressing a different POV. The gay author of the post didn’t like this and neither did his minions. They went after this alleged “troll” in such a vicious way the person commenting finally gave up and moved on. And this so-called “troll” was making a perfectly valid point without getting offensive or abusive. The gay author and his minions, however, were actually behaving more like trolls than the person they were calling a “troll.”

There’s a huge difference between an Internet troll and someone with a different opinion. The word troll, like the word bully, is highly overused in most cases. Unfortunately, the distinction isn’t pointed out in this particular butthurt piece.

This is the overall tone coming from the author…

The troll is lurking in the shadows, more than happy to tell you your child is ugly, your haircut looks terrible, and your version of “Defying Gravity” never got off the ground. 

You can read it in full here.

Once again, butthurt at its best from someone too special to take criticism.

If you think I sound a little too cold-hearted about this, think again. I’ve been subjected to every single ounce of criticism and opinion there is online as an author and I’ve never once complained butthurt in all the time I’ve been doing it. So I have very little sympathy when I hear someone else do it. 

I think many of the comments on this one agree with me. I highly suggest checking them out. 

Fangsters: Book 2

Gang Bang Fangsters

Ryan Field Print Books;Ben Cohen’s Big Bear Hug; Bette Midler Shade Toss for Caitlyn Jenner; Jake Gyllenhaal and Gay Marriage

Ryan Field Print Books

Here are more books I just released in paperback. For those who don’t read e-books, this is an alternative. I’m actually excited to see how the covers look in paperback. I’ve never really seen these books other than in digital format.

Chase of a Dream (unabridged) This was the book where I released two versions, one with sex scenes and the other without. Both books are identical and I only had to remove 7,000 words to make it pg rated. I did self-censor this book on purpose, but I put up both versions. The covers are identical but it’s clearly marked which is abridged and which isn’t.


Create Space

Chase of a Dream (abridged) Here’s the version without sex scenes.


Create Space 

Chase of a Christmas Dream is another book in the Chase series.


Create Space 

Please keep in mind that the Create Space links are accurate, but sometimes it takes time for Amazon to put things up and if you don’t see it there are this very moment, you will very soon.   

Ben Cohen’s Big Bear Hug

This is one of those multi-photo pieces where the well known post things on social media. I like them, and some of the photos are interesting. It’s mindless entertainment…and harmless.

You don’t really need a quote.

You’ll like some of them. I work a lot and don’t always have time to keep up with what’s happening in pop culture and these little things to me are like a crash course in who’s who.

Bette Midler Shade Toss for Caitlyn Jenner

First Bette/Britt Midler goes after Justin Bieber in a tweet that came out of nowhere and was totally unprovoked by Bieber. Say what you will about Justin, but he really didn’t do anything to warrant Bette/Britt Midler’s Twitter attack. And, she went after his DAD. Who does that?

And now this:

And now her attention has moved to a subject that many seem to be thinking but few are will to say: Caitlyn Jenner and her inexplicable Republican values.

Someone should tell her.

Bette/Britt should stick to singing and mind her own damn business when it comes to what someone else believes in politically. It’s just none of her business.

You do get the right to believe in whatever you want to believe in the US.  You don’t get the right to tell anyone else what to believe in, or to question their beliefs. You don’t have to agree with them, but there’s this word called tolerance that those on the far left and the far right really need to learn more about.

You can read the rest here. 

You can also read Bette/Britt’s nasty tweet there as well. I’m not going to bother quoting her here.

Jake Gyllenhaal and Gay Marriage

This is interesting because it’s a quote by Jake Gyllenhaal on how he thinks the movie, Brokeback Mountain, helped push equality forward…in a general sense.

I think it is changing… and it’s pretty amazing how it’s changing. And one of the things that I’m so proud about [Brokeback Mountain is that], within the past basically 10 years, how much has changed.
When the Supreme Court [issued a ruling] just a little while ago, I felt like we had been part, a little part and parcel of that movement. I was proud, you know? To me that’s really a pretty incredible moment. We had to wait a little while for it. But when will it be OK for an actor to be gay? I mean, it’s OK now.

Heath was always somebody who I admired. He was way beyond his years as a human, in a way. I wasn’t quite sure where he came from. I mean, I know he’s from Perth, but I wasn’t really quite sure where he came from, and I think that’s the feeling most people got when they were around him and why he was so extraordinary.”
I actually do agree with Gyllenhaal. Even though I would never minimize all the hard work that went on behind the scenes with court cases and constant, endless battles for equality that most straight people don’t know about, little films from the straight community like Brokeback Mountain did help when it came to educating the mainstream. It brought the topic up front and out in the open for the first time while everything else was going on behind the scenes and while all the hard work for real equality was actually being done.

You can check that out here.  

Fangsters: Book 2

Gang Bang Fangsters

Ryan Field Books In Print; Eating Patti LaBelle’s Pie; Gay Twins Aaron and Austin Rhodes

Ryan Field Books In Print

As I explained earlier this week in a post, I’m in the process of releasing all of my indie e-book titles as print books. I’m doing this for the readers who don’t read e-books. So now people have a choice…either print paperbacks or e-books.

Below are two links for purchasing paperback copies of Meadows Are Not Forever. One is Amazon and the other is Create Space.

Amazon Link.

Create Space

I’ll continue to post more links as I get them for other books going to print.

And please don’t take this as a sign that I think e-books are disappearing. I honestly don’t think that. I would never give up my own e-reading devices. Never. Not even for chocolate. I just think now that the boom is over and everything has settled a little the lines between who reads print vs. who reads e-books are clearly drawn…for now anyway. This is me offering everyone a choice now.

Eating Patti LaBelle’s Pie

For the life of me I’ll never get why anyone is referred to as a “gay icon.” I like Patti LaBelle and her music. I live in New Hope, Bucks County, PA, in the Philadelphia news market and I’ve been hearing about Patti Labelle and her pie all week on the local news.

And this is a wonderful story.

I truly just don’t get the “gay icon” thing…and I’m gay!!  There’s something about the entire gay icon thing that sounds so degrading, and I’m not even sure if that’s the right way to explain it. I have to post about this sooner or later.

In any event, some guy I never heard of went to Youtube and posted a video of how much he loves eating Labelle’s pie. Evidently, you can get LaBelle’s pie in WalMart. He garnered tons of hits for being outrageous and as a show of gratitude LaBelle invited the guy to her home on Thanksgiving Day. This is the best PR LaBelle (and her pie) has had in years.

Meanwhile WalMart, where the pies are sold exclusively, the pies are selling so briskly that the retailer cannot keep them in stock. 

Grammy winner LaBelle, who has long had legions of gay fans, initially had called Wright to thank him for his video. Then she did one better by inviting the Los Angeles-based entertainer to her home in Philadelphia for Thanksgiving dinner.

So there you are. I don’t eat pie of any kind and I’ve never been to WalMart either. Maybe I should turn in my gay card because I can’t figure this one out for the life of me. 

Gay Twins Aaron and Austin Rhodes

I think I remember posting about these guys a year ago. They came out to their father online and there was a video and it went viral. This is a follow up.

‘It’s been a whirlwind,’ Aaron said during a recent chat the twins had with Gay Star News.

‘It’s definitely been an incredible experience. I remember when we first got to Hollywood and we first started this career, everyone was telling us to stay hush-hush about our sexuality. To come full circle and be in the industry and be working and be completely out and proud as a young person is really liberating and exciting for our future.’

You can read the rest here. They seem like a couple of nice guys and I’m glad they are doing what they are doing. The comment about staying quiet about their sexuality is interesting, too. I think there are lines being drawn in this case. Younger gay men in Hollywood seem to be coming out more often than not, where anyone older than 35 is still cautious about it for career reasons. And I don’t blame them for that. People have bills to pay…even gay people.

Fangsters: Book 2

Gang Bang Fangsters


Catfishing: Pressing Charges; Philly Gay Bashing Trial Tweets; The Remove Adam Lambert Petition

Catfishing: Pressing Charges

I’ve always believed a person’s online identity is truly who that person is. You can present yourself in public in many ways, however, when it comes to your online general behavior that’s really who you are deep down.

With that said, I’ve seen a lot of catfishing and other questionable behavior this past year online,  and in my case what I’ve seen comes predominantly from ambitious, opportunistic, aggressive bloggers who sometimes even cross over as fiction authors. These are always people who would never have had a voice in public…anywhere…if it hadn’t been for the Internet, multiple free social media accounts, and free access to a Word Press blog. You wouldn’t even have known they were alive if it hadn’t been for the Internet because their biggest talent is having the ability to manipulate nice, innocent people for their own personal gain.

Those of you who have been catfished and duped online know exactly what I’m talking about. What makes all this even worse is that many of these devious opportunistic catfishers have built a loyal fan base that run to their defense when their devious behavior is finally exposed. In one case this year, a very well known romance book blogger/reviewer was forced to admit that she was not only running a hugely successful (and profitable) publishing blog, but also writing books in the same genre she blogs about daily, with a pen name and a completely fictitious identity. For several years, this aggressive, manipulative, clever blogger catfished in private forums and basically duped everyone with whom she came into contact. And when she was finally exposed, her loyal online minions ran to her defense and even started a crowdfunding page for her.

There have been many other cases that aren’t worth getting into, however, the point is that people who have been catfished often feel completely hopeless because the catfisher is almost always clever enough to put a spin on it and come out looking good in spite of all the pain and emotional distress he or she has caused people. In some cases I’ve seen them build networks with other questionable types who will come to their defense. And the victims wind up feeling helpless while the criminal continues to move forward unscathed.

So here is an interesting web site that talks about what you can do if you believe it to be true that you have been the victim of a catfishing scam. I haven’t seen many charges pressed against these online criminals but I do think that’s going to change in the future as more of them are exposed.

The main problem with catfishing and the law is this:

 The answer is not clear cut, it depends.

So until more victims start pressing charges against these online criminals, the most important thing anyone can do now is to remain prudent with any online relationships.

Philly Gay Bashing Trial Tweets

Here’s another new twist in the alleged Philadelphia gay bashing trial that makes social media even more relevant in modern daily life.

A judge ruled Tuesday that a suspect’s anti-gay tweets can be introduced at her trial next month, according to

Kathryn Knott, one of the three Bucks County defendants charged in the September 2014 assault on a gay couple in Center City, is the only one to have claimed trial.

Her two alleged accomplices Philip Williams, 25 and Kevin Harrigan, 26, will not serve any time behind bars after accepting a plea deal.

Here’s one of her tweets:

‘this camo song is gay like all the other brad paisley songs’

You can read the rest here. I guess she never heard the saying, “What you say online remains online forever.”

The Remove Adam Lambert Petition

There are 11,000 signatures in an online petition to remove Adam Lambert from a New Year’s Eve concert in Singapore.

It is not known who started the petition which is signed, ‘For the love of Singapore, our family and our future, Concerned citizens, Concerned parents, Concerned individuals.’

Describing the singer as a ‘performer fraught with controversy even in his home country’, it lists the American Idol Sean 8 runner-up has having ‘engaged in sexualized acts, including kissing a male band member on stage’ and ‘featur(ing) female showgirls and male strippers performing acts of indecency.’

It goes on to say, ‘Singaporeans can enjoy a good show without their consciences being affronted by lewd acts in the name of entertainment.’

I don’t know much about Adam Lambert or his act so I can’t comment…other than saying I don’t think I’ve ever heard of anyone wanting to ban Ricky Martin from anything.

Here’s the rest. 

Fangsters: Book 2

Gang Bang Fangsters


Porn Star Dimitri Kane Dead At 20; Bad Messages for the HIV Poz; Trans Women Giving Birth

Porn Star Dimitri Kane Dead At 20

I hate to say this but it looks as if there’s a pattern with young gay male porn stars. I don’t know what that’s about and I don’t know how to comment on something like that. I just keep seeing these awful things in the news about them and I wonder. That’s all. 

The NSFW blog Str8UpGayPorn broke the news, citing an unnamed source close to Kane who said the young man took his own life. Another source close to the family says it was a drug overdose. An autopsy is pending.

Kane performed for various studios over the years including ManRoyale, Pride Studios, and NextDoorStudios.

The rest is here. There are more than 100 comments.

Bad Messages for the HIV Poz

Remember last week when I said I was shocked at the way people responded to the news that Charlie Sheen is HIV positive? Well, that kind of vitriol doesn’t stop with Sheen. Evidently, HIV+ gay men get slammed all the time on apps like Grindr and Scruff. I’ve never been to either app so I wouldn’t know.

In this video produced by FS magazine, HIV-positive men read real — and really demeaning — messages they’re received on dating apps over the years. And it’s not pretty.

While we imagine most of these artlessly vindictive messages were attached to grainy snapshots of eerily disembodied chests, the men in the video even venture to show their faces. Fancy that.

You can check out the video here. Thankfully, most of the comments with this article are a lot more encouraging. But there are only ten. Compare that to the 100 or more with the clickbait articles…or those about her royal highness, Hillary Clinton. 

What I find amazing is how many people out there are so damn limited when it comes to knowing about HIV.  Read something, people. That’s what the Internet was intended to be: a source for information.

Trans Women Giving Birth

It looks as if medical science came up with something new again. I wish it were a cure for cancer or at least some kind of cancer vaccine, however, it’s interesting.

In short, this article is predicting that within ten years trans women may be giving birth.

I’m not quoting because it’s one of those odd web sites not compatible with blogger that screws up my posts. But you can get there from here. 

I’m assuming this is only for transgender women who have undergone surgery to physically become women. I know that sounds like a water is wet comment, but a lot of people find this confusing. I’m often one of them.

Fangsters: Book 2

Gang Bang Fangsters

Ryan Field Books In Print; Michael Lucas Urine/Fecal Allegations; Gus Kenworthy’s 8 Things Straight Friends Shouldn’t Say

Ryan Field Books In Print

Up until five years ago everything I had published was available in print. But since then a lot of the focus has been on e-books. Over the last five years or so I’ve received more than a few e-mails about whether my books are in print or digital. I know that many of the Ravenous Romance e-books were/are available in print, and many are for sale again as used books on e-bay and Amazon. My most recent release with Riverdale Ave Books, Fangsters 2, is definitely available in both print and digital as a new release. It’s mainly all of my indie published books that have only been released only as e-books.

So I’ve decided to start releasing all of my indie books in both digital and print. They will be either e-books or paperbacks. They will contain the same content and nothing will change. Only now readers can choose between print and digital.

The first two books that I’ll release will be A Christmas Carl and Meadows Are Not Forever.

But there’s no set pattern and I think the next books in print will be those from the Chase of a Lifetime series.

When I started to indie publish I honestly didn’t expect to do this, but I keep hearing from readers…mostly on Twitter of all places…about how they still prefer print books and I’m starting to think just by this information there’s a line divided right down the middle between people who read print and people who only read e-books. I only read e-books now and I don’t like it when I see that a book hasn’t been released in digital, so I would be remiss if I did that same thing with my own books in print. But the truth is I honestly don’t know what to expect and of course all books will still be available as e-books as well. I still believe that as we move toward the future e-books will eventually take over the market.

So they’ll all be coming out as both as e-books and paperbacks in the next year. I’ll post them as I get them and share as much as I can on social media. The paperbacks won’t be priced over $12.99, but they won’t be as inexpensive as e-books either. It costs to produce a print book and that’s one thing over which I don’t have control. 

Michael Lucas Urine/Fecal Allegations

This is something I’ve never seen before and something I think we could all live without.

Michael Lucas was just slapped with a lawsuit for allegedly leaving bodily fluid stains, enema kits, dildos and other things in a Californai Airbnb rental.

The gay porn mogul denied the allegations, suggesting the bodily fluids may actually belong to the property owner herself, who he claims is a “professional extortionist.”

And Oh, THIS…

The lawsuit also claims that “enema kits were found throughout the house — on the floors, in the beds, in nightstand drawers and in the trash” and that “various sexual devices were found in the beds and in the trash.”

It gets much worse and Lucas is fighting back and he claims the allegations are entirely false. Here’s part of his official statement.

There was absolutely no claim at that time of any problems at the property.
Cleaning staff went through the house to prepare it for the next
rental. Again, absolutely no complaints about the property.

In fact, we have photographs and video that we took on both our
arrival and departure dates showing that we left the property in
pristine condition.  Ms. Knapic’s assistant Dorian even complimented
me on how clean the house was.

You can read it all in full right here. 

Gus Kenworthy’s 8 Things Straight Friends Shouldn’t Say

Gus Kenworthy has released his version of eight things straight friends should never say to gay friends. It’s adorable.

The sentiment is fine enough — basically don’t stereotype or make assumptions about people. But that advice could come in handy in a lot more scenarios than not making gay people uncomfortable.

But according to the video (and we’re glad to see Gus give a little push-back), questions like “how did you come out?” are off limits. So don’t ask your gay friend how he came out, or else?

You can watch this on video here. The article kind of slams Kenworthy for this one but I tend to agree with him. I think there are certain limits and I’d prefer people/friends to be a little more cautious with certain questions. I hate to feel as if they’re thinking of me as a lab rat.

But, you get to see Gus Kenworthy on video. There’s that.

Fangsters: Book 2

Gang Bang Fangsters

Alleged Charlie Sheen Gay Sex Tape; The Sex You Never See In Films; Modern Family’s Reid Ewing and Plastic Surgery

Alleged Charlie Sheen Gay Sex Tape

There’s an alleged gay sex tape going around about Charlie Sheen.

Less than a week after making national headlines for coming out as HIV-positive on Today, Charlie Sheen is making news once again. RadarOnline claims it has obtained bootleg video of the actor engaging in a sex act with another man.

The minute-and-a-half long video, which was purportedly shot in 2011, shows Sheen smoking crack in a Las Vegas hotel room and then grinning up at the camera before performing oral sex on the man.

You can check out the rest here.  And the comments. Some actually surprise (and embarrass) me because I know they’re coming from gay men.

Sheen’s attorneys made this statement.

the “alleged video” had absolutely nothing “to do with the above referenced lawsuit which was filed and subsequently dismissed more than five years ago.”

The Sex You Never See In Films

I saw a discussion yesterday about intimacy and sex in gay romance novels. It was an opinion and you can’t dispute an opinion…even if it’s misguided and wrong in so many ways. One huge problem with sex in books or in films is that there are always people claiming there’s too much sex and never enough people claiming there’s too little sex. In other words, the very loud sexless people don’t mind talking openly about it, but those who like sex still live with a stigma that silences them…unfortunately.

Another huge problem with sex in gay books is that gay men (and I mean only gay men, not B, L, T or even asexual people) are not usually part of the discussion. There’s something wrong with that scenario and as a gay man I find I’m a lot more compelled to speak up about it nowadays than I was in the past. I think it’s fine if a group of asexual people want to talk about asexuality, however, I’m gay and don’t make me part of that discussion, at least not without making that distinction first. 

But right after I saw that discussion, I ran across the article I’m linking to now and it resonated with me because one of the things I’ve always tried to do with sex scenes in novels is not leave out the most interesting parts like they do in films and in other erotic novels. The things that really do happen. For me these “things” are just as intimate as “cuddling.” In fact, too much “intimate cuddling” makes me physically sick to my stomach. It’s creepy in that let’s both wear matching outfits way. 

The things I’m talking about are the little things we all experience during sex…the things that keep it real. Like a lamp falling off the table when the sex is so strong and so good the bed rocks. Or, what happens the moment after climax. I think those things are not only sexy, but they also portray intimacy as well. Especially for gay men. Sex is intimacy, too, in spite of what those who aren’t getting any…or don’t want any…will tell you.

I don’t have a quote from this web site, but you can check out the cartoons here at college humor. And keep in mind you have to have a sense of humor about sex to “get” these things. If you don’t you probably shouldn’t continue. Basically, it’s a series of funny cartoons that discuss the more intimate things that you really don’t ever see in films…or in most books. But they happen.

Modern Family’s Reid Ewing and Plastic Surgery

And…Reid  Ewing came out on Twitter and we’re all thrilled for him. 

If that sounds sarcastic I think it’s because the shock of actors coming out is wearing off for most people by now. It’s still newsworthy and I still believe that no matter who comes out in public it’s not something that is meant to be taken lightly. However, it’s not as much of a novelty anymore.

Reid Ewing, who I’m not familiar with because I never watched Modern family, is now talking about coming out and his body/looks issues. He had some kind of plastic surgery problem. But it’s interesting to note that his coming out isn’t the focus of this story, it’s his plastic surgery issues.

“I told the doctor why I felt my face needed cosmetic surgery and told him I was an actor,” he added. “He agreed that for my career it would be necessary to get cosmetic surgery.”

“He quickly determined that large cheek implants would address the issues I had with my face, and a few weeks later I was on the operating table.”

Ewing says he underwent several procedures over the next few years, but ultimately realized his problem wasn’t one that could be solved by scalpels and botox injections.

I don’t know what kind of doctor he went to but I’ve had plastic surgery…my nose…and I screened three plastic surgeons before I decided on one. None of them talked me into it, none gave me unrealistic goals, and not one of them told me I needed to do it. I guess Ewing had a bad experience. For me any plastic surgery I’ve had was an excellent experience and if I hadn’t mentioned it now no one would even know I’d had it done. My reasons for going to a plastic surgeon were the same reasons why people go to good hair stylists. Simple to figure out.  

You can read more of this here.  I’m a firm believer in plastic/cosmetic surgery as long as the patient doesn’t go too far or get too obsessed, and there are people who will take it to the extreme. However, if you’re not one of those people, cosmetic surgery makes you feel better about yourself and very few people even realize you did it. I think it’s important to make that distinction about cosmetic surgery, speaking as someone with personal experience who doesn’t have any horror stories to tell.

Fangsters: Book 2

Gang Bang Fangsters

Them Good Ole Heteronormative Days For Gay People; Straight Guys Hit On By Gays; Shirley Bassey Sets Back Equality

Them Good Ole Heteronormative Days For Gay People

Over the weekend I came across a post on social media that celebrated the past…one of those nostalgia videos where middle aged people can remember their growing up years in the 70’s and 80’s with fondness, and also compare those great simple years to now where everything is so terrible.

Of course that’s sarcasm, but that post really left a strange impact on me. I don’t think things are all that bad now. I’ve always embraced technology and all the changes we’ve seen. However, the main point is that in this heteronormative post the straight people all agreed that everything was so much better back then and they think kids nowadays are missing all that wonderfulness.

Which is fine. I have great memories of my childhood, too. I must have been one of the lucky ones because I didn’t go through a lot of the horrible experiences a lot of the gay people I know went through. And you can’t blame straight people for remembering their childhoods and their teenage years with fondness. I don’t want to crush anyone’s memories, and that’s how they should remember those days. Because they had all the privileges growing up that gay kids and teens were not afforded. They didn’t have to live in silence, keeping that deep dark secret, hoping no one would ever find out. They didn’t miss puberty entirely.

How could straight people understand that odd feeling when you realize you’re attracted to someone of the same sex and you know you’re not supposed to be thinking that way? How could straight people know what it’s like for a gay kid to hear adults talking about the “fags?” How could straight people know what it’s like to bow to peer pressure in high school and take a girl to the prom when you really want to go with a guy?

And, not every straight person can look back on them good ole days with fondness either. I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that as well. 

But I do think it’s important that we tell gay kids and teenagers what it was like back then so they don’t think they’ve missed anything about THEM good old days. Because if you’re gay and if you survived growing up at any point in history, even if you had the best childhood a gay kid ever had in the 70’s, things are still way better now than they were back then for gay kids. Things still aren’t perfect. However, at least it’s getting better rather than worse.

When I was growing up, I don’t even know if I had gay aunts and uncles. I would imagine I did. I just didn’t know about it. Gay was NOT even discussed in the most liberal households. My nieces and nephews do know they have gay uncles, and I have an openly gay nephew is medical school in Iowa. It still isn’t perfect for them either. And I can only hope it gets even better for their kids than it was for them.

Straight Guys Hit On By Gays

Here’s a good example of how much things have changed. Not longer than ten years ago you would never have seen anything like this discussed openly. It’s one of those meme things I always post about, where quotes are made and put into memes. This time the topic is how straight guys feel about gay guys hitting on them.

So many gay guys apologize for hitting on me when  they find out I’m straight. I tell them not to, many gay guys I’ve met are quite handsome. I take it  as a compliment.

The rest are here.

Some are funny, some are honest, and some like the quote above have this underlying ring of passive aggressive homophobia even though it’s meant to be a compliment with good intentions.

BUT…at least things are changing and times are still better now for gays than in any other period in recent history.

Shirley Bassey Sets Back Equality

When I first came out and I started meeting other gay people I kept hearing about this woman named Shirley Bassey. What did I know? I thought she was someone’s mom, for a short time. Evidently, you had to know who she was or you didn’t get a gay card. That’s how serious it was.

Of course in time I learned that she’s some kind of gay icon like Streisand and Cher and Britt Midler, but I also found out that even though I’m gay I’m not a huge Shirley Bassey fan. It took me a long time to realize that in order to be gay you don’t have to love Shirley Bassey, Broadway shows…or any of the gay icons. There is no rule book. If you do love Bassey that’s wonderful. But if you don’t that’s just fine, too. The gay male community is only beginning to understand just how diverse it is. In fact, many of us would actually rather watch baseball than listen to Shirley Bassey or Cher…and that’s okay, too.

In any event, before I veer completely off track, Shirley Bassey recently made a few comments that have some people a little upset…

Women in my industry aren’t empowered. Never have been, never will be. Think about the modern man. The gene goes so deep, it goes right back to the caveman days: man must have control. Women should not change it, because we’ve tried and we’ve emasculated men. It’s dangerous to mess with science.

There’s a reason why men are here. If I was flying with a female pilot, for instance, I’d be very worried. Women have periods and hormones, and that bothers me about women who want men’s jobs. Like firefighters, police, soldiers . . . I don’t believe in women soldiers! Come on, women should be women. We should be feminine.

I’m not sad about it. We should accept it. It’s worked this way for a long time. Men went out and brought home the bacon. Women are now going a step too far, trying to be cleverer than men — or as clever. Now, the man becomes the house-husband and it’s wrong. It shouldn’t be that way.”

I would hate to hear her comment on gays. That’s all.

You can read the rest here and you do NOT want  to miss the comments with this article. It’s amazing how Bassey could smack some gay men in the head with a baseball bat and then spit on them, and they’d still love her. But the most interesting comments mention her age and generation without considering that a bad comment is still a bad comment no matter what age you are. My dad is 87 and I can promise you he wouldn’t have said that about women. And wasn’t Maya Angelou part of Bassey’s generation? I never heard Angelou make comments like that one. Wrong is wrong and dumb is dumb no matter how old you are.

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Twitter Bans Blood Drives; Philadelphia Gender Neutral Rest Rooms; Rosie O’Donnell, Again

Twitter Bans Blood Drives

This is an interesting move by Twitter that might help stop some of the discrimination that gay and bisexual men have faced when it comes to donating blood.

Twitter has announced that it has banned blood drives at its US offices while the FDA continues to ban gay and bisexual men from donating blood.

The ban came in to place in April but was only announced yesterday after the company made its debut on the Human Rights Campaign’s annual Corporate Equality Index.

In its first appearance on the ranking, which looks at LGBT inclusive policies and procedures in the business world, the company scored the top mark of 100%.

You can check the rest out here.

This FDA ban has been going on since 1983 and it’s ONLY based on identification, not behavior.

Philadelphia Gender Neutral Rest Rooms

There’s a new law in Philadelphia that states that any restaurant or bar with single occupancy rest rooms will now be gender neutral. Single occupancy means not having multiple stalls.

‘Providing access to a private, non-gendered, all-inclusive bathroom can simply reduce the stress of using the restroom,’ said Nellie Fitzpatrick, Director of the Office of LGBT Affairs, to KYW Newsradio.

Signing the law at a ceremony at Fergie’s Pub on Sansom Street, Mayor Nutter, in jocular fashion, said that the law did not apply to restrooms with multiple stalls.

‘Multi-occupant bathroom facilities – it just really doesn’t sound like something you want to be part of – can remain gender-specific,’ reported CBS.

There’s more here. 

I have a few thoughts on this one but I’d rather save it for another post. It’s not something you can get into without at least a little detail.

Rosie O’Donnell, Again

It seems that wherever Rosie O’Donnell goes there’s some kind of an issue. Millions of people live and work and play without having even one of the issues she’s become so famous for. And this time it’s about Rosie wanting a lawsuit a former producer filed against her thrown out of court.

Rosie O’Donnell says she’s not to blame for Jennifer Shepard-Brookman being fired from The View and wants a judge to dismiss the lawsuit against her filed by the former producer. 

Brookman, fired earlier this year after 14 years with the show, alleges O’Donnell cost her the job because she blamed her for leaking details of the show’s backstage tensions to the press.

The suit, filed last month in New York, the lawsuit accuses O’Donnell of making ‘false and defamatory statements of fact about Ms. Brookman to others in their workplace, which caused Ms. Brookman to suffer intense emotional distress, anxiety, and lack of sleep, destroyed her professional reputation, and led to her termination of employment.’

I hope the presses follow up on this one. I’m kind of curious to see how it turns out. As far as I know it’s not as simple to prove defamation as people think it is. In addition, the lawsuit allegedly states that Rosie screamed at the producer, which shouldn’t surprise anyone. But that probably won’t count as defamation. It’s too bad there isn’t some kind of law that states Rosie O’Donnell has to keep her big mouth shut. 

Here’s the rest.

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Gus Kenworthy Wins Top Jock; Caitlyn Jenner Voting Republican; Bristol Palin on Starbucks Red Cups

Gus Kenworthy Wins Top Jock

If nothing else you can’t say I’m not consistent. Yesterday I posted that I hoped Gus Kenworthy would win Queerty’s top jock of the year award, and he did.

In a move that made gay hearts flutter everywhere, Gus Kenworthy, an Olympic freeskiing champion who garnered worldwide fame when he helped find homes for stray dogs while competing in the 2014 Sochi Winter Olympics, told the world his truth in an ESPN magazine interview. “In skiing, there’s such an alpha male thing about pulling the hottest chicks,” Gus told the mag. “I know hooking up with hot girls doesn’t sound like the worst thing in the world. But I literally would sleep with a girl and then cry about it afterward. I’m like, ‘What am I doing? I don’t know what I’m doing.’ I don’t want to make skiing less cool. I hear the snowboarders call us ‘skier fags.’ And it’s frustrating because I’m literally going to live up to that stereotype.” Perhaps, but gay fans everywhere think he snagged the best prize of all.

I can’t help but wonder what else he had to deal with in that kind of environment.

You can read about the rest of the winners here, among them are Tim Cook…and of course Kim Davis and her Mother Hubbard dresses won Biggest Douche. There’s only one winner I’m not too sure about because I don’t think he really did much for gay rights until the last moment, when that moment suited him, but he seems to be popular with the masses so there’s that.

You can also vote for person of the year. I’m still going with Gus Kenworthy. And not just because he’s adorable. I really do think it was hell for him living in that kind of environment…and he survived it. Which proves we’re a lot tougher than they think we are.

Caitlyn Jenner Voting Republican

It seems that Caitlyn Jenner isn’t getting the praise that she was getting in the beginning when she announced she was a transgender woman. Remember all that happy cry stuff about be yourself and be true? And it’s partly because Caitlyn votes Republican.

This, however, is another one of those memes from comedian Sam Kalidi that’s meant to be funny.

We’ve asked online comedian, voice actor and chest hair model Sam Kalidi to create a new meme each week for Queerty readers. This week he ponders the consequences of Caitlyn Jenner’s announcement that she plans to vote Republican in 2016, following a denied request to attend the recent Democratic debate in Des Moines, Iowa. Sam looks forward to all your hate mail. You can find him on TwitterFacebook, Instagram and at your local glory hole.

You can check that out here.

There are over 200 comments so far. You might not want to miss them. 

Bristol Palin on Starbucks Cups

I didn’t get into anything about the Starbucks cups here at all because I think the whole damn thing is stupid. And this gem of a quote from Bristol Palin just proves my point.

They’ve obviously picked up on the fact that gays in America are filthy rich and they want their share of their wealth.And I don’t care that there’s a Starbucks on every corner of every major city on every continent on the planet. In fact, that’s exactly what makes them the perfect tool to spread the notion that gay people are alright. And as always, they’re targeting the youngest population with their cups and propaganda. On one hand, you have Starbucks poisoning kids around the world with its so-called coffees, and on the other, they are now celebrating the gay culture as something completely normal. Just goes to show how powerful the U.S. gay lobby really is. The message they’re relaying to the youth is, ‘If you want to be cool, be seen with a Starbucks cup of coffee in town. But if you want to be cooler, be seen with our new gayish-red cups and show your support to the LGBT community.’ The entire company just sickens me for a number of reasons.”

Here’s the source. Someone should tell Ms. Palin that if Starbucks was catering to gays with money and good taste they wouldn’t have chosen that ugly red cup. It would be taupe, or pale gray. Or maybe that nice tasteful color from the Martha Stewart collection they call “Fortune Cookie.” But it most definitely would NOT be garish hooker red. I don’t allow red in my house.

Haven’t these people ever heard of Billy Baldwin?!?

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