Month: November 2014

Gay Guide Straight Relationships; Naughty Gay Pups Arf; Hollywood Gay Murders

Gay Guide Straight Relationships

This is another one of those articles I don’t get and never will. It talks about how gay men are better guides to straight people when it involves relationship issues. I think it came from a scene in Sex in the City...or something else as dismal.

In any event, it’s interesting to see how they portray gay men and how this time they insult straight people.

In theory, we’re probably the last people these folks should be turning to for advice. After all, most of us have absolutely zero experience with opposite-sex relationships. And surely we have just as many problems in our partnerships. But let’s face it: there are certain things we do differently and, well, better. (Of course, we’re sure opposite-sex couples could teach us a thing or two, too.)


Here’s an example of the kind of idiocy they are hawking. Remember this is advice from a gay POV to straight people. Please don’t blame me. I have nothing to do with it.

As gay men, we’re not above asking our boyfriend to bat his eyelashes at the male flight attendant if it means complimentary in-flight cocktails for the next six hours. Flirting can be an excellent way of getting things: discounts, free upgrades, special treatments, you name it.

Can your girlfriend’s cleavage get you an upgrade on your rental car? Great! Can your boyfriend’s sparkling blue eyes and dashing smile charm the hostess into seating you early? Awesome! Allowing your partner permission to work his or her magic on others can actually benefit you, too. And it will keep him or her happy short of having to sleep with the subject of the flirting. So stop acting all jealous and insecure and enjoy the perks of being in a relationship with someone other people find desirable. It won’t last forever, honey.

First, I pay for my drinks, thank you. Second, is this idiot really telling a guy to pimp out his girlfriend in this sexist way to get a better rental car? What about the girlfriend telling the boyfriend to drop his zipper a few inches? This only tells him to bat his eyelashes. I think there’s a difference. When Rose McGowan says gay men aren’t supporting women enough, I’m starting to think she may have a point.

Here’s just the title of one:

 You don’t have to get married. Ever

Well, yes you do, especially if you want to own property, furniture, cars, etc… Getting legally married helps in a number of ways financially, and it even helps if you decide to get a divorce because the laws are written up in a way that make everything pretty much black and white. Without that marriage license there’s no proof of anything. I’m talking about younger people now, not older couples who are on their second or third time around. But even in that case living together has far less advantages than marriage…why we’ve been fighting for gay marriage all this time.

My advice is to ignore everything you read here. The fact is that gay marriages/relationships aren’t all that different from straight ones. There’s even gender politics involved but that’s too complicated to get into right now. And always remember that when you take advice from anyone about anything make sure you’re getting that advice based on someone with experience. I have to wonder how much experience the author of this article has.

I have to admit one thing, which is a little refreshing. At least this one insults both gay and straight people.  The author’s name is listed at the bottom. I’d watch out for this one in the future.

Naughty Gay Pups-Arf!

I have to admit that I’ve always wanted to post something on this topic but I don’t know enough about it to comment, and I tend to shy away from things like because it’s considered so taboo in publishing. So I’m just linking this time.

Woof woof oink! Pups and gear pigs clustered at the Seattle Eagle last Friday for Arf!, a night of kink, fetish, bath house disco and sleazy dance tunes. Zak the Barber and Pup Kai hosted a frisky puppy pile, and DJs Tony Radovich and Nark kept the animals dancing all night.

These days, it seems like gay bars are an endangered species, with all the good old gritty hole-in-the-wall dives closing up shop. Nice to see the gays can still break out their harnesses and work up some musk when the occasion calls for it.

If you don’t get that, don’t be upset. You’re not alone because I don’t get it either.

The rest is here, with photos of men dressed as dogs and other various images that don’t help gay men look at that dignified. Ruff Ruff 🙂

Hollywood Gay Murders

This is interesting because it involves gay men and pop culture. It’s a piece about gay murders in Hollywood that have taken place over the years. There are a lot I know nothing about, but I do remember reading about Sal Mineo more than once. His murder is in here, along with this one I never heard before.

Danny Lockin

Best known for his portrayal of Barnaby Tucker in the 1969 film version of Hello, Dolly!, actor and dancer Danny Lockin’s final performance occurred on an August 21, 1977 taping of The Gong Show, where he and his dance partner tied for first place. To celebrate their victory, the pair decided to go for a drink at The Mug, a gay bar in Garden Grove. Danny was later seen leaving the establishment with a 34-year-old regular named Charles Leslie Hopkins. Hours later, Hopkins called police to say he’d been robbed. But upon showing up at his apartment, cops found the body of Lockin, who’d been stabbed nearly 100 times. Since only six of the stab wounds turned out to be fatal, it was believed Danny had not only bled out but that he’d been tortured and stabbed repeatedly after his death. Despite the discovery of what the press referred to as a “torture diary” (which featured Polaroids of the murder and led authorities to believe the crime was premeditated) at the residence, police had failed to secure a proper search warrant and the book was ruled inadmissible. Hopkins was found guilty of voluntary manslaughter and was sentenced to four years in jail.

You can read the rest here. The comments are interesting, too.

Too Hard to Handle

Best Lube For You; Naked Gay Shower Selfie Challenge; "Bar Code" Declares Straightness & Gays Don’t Want Straight Bartender

Best Lube For You

When I spotted this article I couldn’t help but smile because another author recently sent me a PM about this very topic. She had been reading a few gay romance novels and the characters either didn’t use lube at all during sex or they used saliva. I once had an editor at one of the older gay presses go on a rant about this in a mass e-mail he sent out to all his writers. And I think that’s because even though it might be a wonderful fictional concept to engage in anal intercourse without lube, the reality of sex this way without lube for most men is more like a trip to the dentist without Novocaine. In fact, you can feel the pain in your teeth.

In any event, here’s a list of the best lubes for you.

But how do you know which lube is right for you? Thankfully, our friends over at Astroglide have come up with plenty of types from which to chose. You might even want to switch up types from time to time. After all, everyone loves a versatile guy.

You can read all about them here. And if you’re young and not very experienced you’ll want to check this out. If you’re counting on saliva to work you’d better have a good strong pillow to bite.

Naked Gay Shower Selfie Challenge

This one is not as self-explanatory as you might think, and the reason behind it goes much deeper. I think it’s an interesting idea…one we need to concentrate on more.

 The idea is to challenge the notion that having HIV makes you “dirty” by contrast of the often used “clean” to describe a negative HIV status, and the hope is that participants will donate money along the way to help find a cure.

 I think everyone can participate in this, those with and without HIV. The photos are actually adorable. You can see them here.

There’s also more about it here at Pink News.

“Bar Code” Declares Straightness and Gay Bars Don’t Want Straight Bartender

Before I mention why this is interesting to me here’s some basic info.

There’s a straight bar in Lafayette, LA, called “Bar Code,” and there’s a gay bar in Virginia called “Bar Code.” The one in LA wanted to make it clear to everyone that they are NOT a gay bar. And what followed is a long PC twitter discussion about how wrong this was.

“Straight Bar? That’s got to be the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Honestly I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a place of business advertising themselves as being a bar for only straight people. Sounds about as reasonable as establishments being open to whites only.”

That’s just one comment from twitter. There are many more. It’s too long to paste so you’ll have to go here to check it all out in full.

Now I hate to be contradictory with fact and truth, but here’s a true recent story that’s not hearsay. It’s gossipy, but it’s true. Last weekend a friend e-mailed me to find out if I’d heard anything about a local gay bar hiring a straight bartender. The friend told me the bartender who’d been working there for years had been fired for reasons no one knew and the new owner of the bar hired this straight bartender as a replacement. Then the friend went on to mention how the new straight bartender invited all of his straight friends on his first night. And when all the straight people showed up (mostly women, from what someone else told me) the gays made a mad dash for the exit door. According to this e-mail, one gay man was physically ill from it. I’m not making this up. It’s all in an e-mail.

From my inbox, verbatim, with names and places removed:

Interesting news about XXXX: XXXX hired a straight, pony-tailed bartender to replace XXXX in the back bar and clearly told to get all his straight friends to go…y’day the back bar was filled with these loud mouthed straights who’d then go outside to smoke their cigarettes…don’t know if this is what XXXX wants to do–make the place more of a ‘mixed’ clientele? XXXXX was aghast and hurried on home!! 🙂 let me know if you hear anything…

Although the straight bartender wouldn’t bother me or Tony and we’ll continue to go there without any problems because Vodka is good enough in and of itself, I know a lot of gay men who aren’t too thrilled and their form of protest is going to be silence and not returning to that bar or that bartender who brought in all his straight friends.

My point here is that nothing is ever as it appears on the surface, and whenever something like this happens to a gay or straight bar, business owners are never quite sure how to deal with it. And please don’t be all peace, love, hope and change and tell me it doesn’t matter and everyone loves everyone else. I’ll agree that it shouldn’t matter, and I hope down the line it stops mattering, but frankly it matters a great deal right now, especially to gay men in gay bars where they think they’re being pushed out. I would imagine straight people feel the same way in their bars.

The Sheriff and the Outlaw

by Ryan Field


Gay Film Hero; LGBT Seniors; Gay Friendly Christmas Shopping and WTF-ery

Gay Film Hero

This article not only points out that there’s been a certain stereotype of gay men in films, but also that there’s now a gay hero in a new film. And I’m not talking about parody or superheroes.

Good news arrives this week with the premiere of The Imitation Game. The film features Benedict Cumberbatch as a real-life gay hero: Alan Turing, the brilliant mathematician who famously broke the Enigma code and, in the process, helped bring about the end of World War II. Winston Churchill later said Turing made the single greatest contribution of anyone when it came to defeating the Nazis. That’s pretty major, though this isn’t totally a feel-good story. The man who knew secrets had his own, since this wasn’t exactly a time for Pride parades and Drag Race reunions. In fact, Turing (who was socially awkward to an extreme) was prosecuted for homosexuality, suffered chemical castration as a punishment, and was found dead in 1954 in an apparent suicide. It wasn’t until last December that Queen Elizabeth II pardoned him for his transgressions. (Mighty white of her.) But still: He was gay! And a hero! And they made a movie about him!

You can read the rest here. I realize it’s not the HEA we tend to go for in books, but imagine just how many other gay heroes there have been we never knew about.

LGBT Seniors

Up until recently LGBT seniors have been almost invisible to most people. Tony and I have always had many older gay friends, both couples and those who were single. But I don’t recall ever actually hearing much at all about gay seniors until now, especially since everything’s always so youth oriented.

This link will take you to an article that celebrates 25 gay seniors and the things they’ve accomplished. Here’s the first…Armistead Maupin.

Maupin’s influence on culture was recently recognized by the LGBT film organization Outfest, which honored the writer at its 2014 Legacy Awards. Speaking to The Advocate about his impact on a younger generation of readers, Maupin acknowledged that in terms of audience size, there are “not as many as I’d like, but a growing number, and they recognize the basic emotional content of the story. And the rest of it, the colorful period details, are interesting to them in another way.”

You can check out the rest here. 

Gay Friendly Christmas Shopping and WTF-ery

I once sent a flower arrangement to my mom on Mother’s Day through And when she received it she sent me a photo and I liked it so much I shared it on social media. I’d spoken to a sales rep on the phone there to ask a question and he turned out to be gay, we talked for a while, and I was very satisfied. However, after I posted the photo on social media I was hit with a barrage of negative comments about how this flower company is so anti-gay. I had no idea, and it really bothered me that strangers I didn’t even know personally would make comments like that to me on social media. Aside from the fact that that’s overstepping, I didn’t appreciate being lectured to by fools. It’s not something I would have done to someone else.

In any event, I’m not a huge fan of boycotts or this kind of “gay-friendly” shopping. As I pointed out, the customer rep at the flower company was gay and we had a wonderful conversation. In the same respect, I’m not going to run out an order a cake from a bakery that refuses to bake wedding cakes for gay couples. It’s a complicated situation at best, and sometimes you do have to vet where you do business to make a point. So here’s a list I thought was worth sharing because I also think you don’t have to be told where to shop and do business just because you’re gay.

No big surprise here, but San Franciscan Levi Strauss & Co is at the top of the list, with a perfect score. Macy’s and Nike are also perfect-scorers, followed by Kenneth Cole, Ralph Lauren, and Aeropostale with nearly-perfect ranking. At the bottom of the list is L.L. Bean — you weren’t seriously considering buying from them anyway, though, were you? L.L. Bean has a couple of problems, ranging from failure to offer trans-inclusive health care and a lack of public commitment to equality.

And then there’s The Jones Group, owner of Nine West (among other labels).  They aren’t terrible — their score is 60 — but among their problems is a failure to offer cultural diversity training.

That last comment bothered me, because I personally know someone who worked at The Jones Group as an openly gay executive and they treated him very well. I’m not fond of this rating system either, nor am I overly thrilled with The Human Right’s Campaign who are the ones who came up with the questionable list. HRC has a little too much to say sometimes, especially when it comes to politics, and not all gay people are willing to fall in line and follow their examples. The HRC should be more worried about why the President they supported can use executive order on immigration reform (which I agree with) didn’t bother to use executive order to legalize gay marriage five or six years ago. It could have been done, and it still can be done. But we’ve had to sludge through the courts and win the hard way so the bible thumpers don’t get offended.

You can read the rest here. I can’t argue some cases, but I can argue a few. And that makes me wonder about all of them. And, one thing HRC always fails to mention is their own brand of discrimination against gay people who DON’T always agree with them or their politics. That’s as wrong as when Pat Robertson says something stupid. And frankly, I think we need a few new voices in the LGBT community to speak up about this a little louder.

The comments that go along with this article amaze me. One person isn’t going to shop L.L. Bean anymore because the article told him not to shop there. Another person clarifies this by stating L.L Bean isn’t that bad and they scored low because their policy on trans people is “muddled.” WTF is that supposed to mean? “Muddled?” Don’t these HRC people realize that many in the LGBT community are working for these businesses?

Someone else pointed out that Amazon scored highly, but then someone disputed that with something Amazon did wrong. So he’s not shopping Amazon for that reason. For the most part it’s all hearsay.


The Sheriff and the Outlaw

by Ryan Field

Gay Thanksgiving Parties; Free Gay Christmas Excerpt: Chase of a Christmas Dream; Davey Wavey’s Underpants DirtyFit

Gay Thanksgiving Parties

Here’s a link to several gay Thanksgiving parties around the globe…if you’re traveling or you just want to get away from all the family stuff. Traditionally, it’s interesting because LGBT people found ways to celebrate holidays with their own “family” …most were not welcomed by their real families. Or, they suffered through the straight holiday, in the closet, and went out for some peace of mind afterward (with a banging headache and enough frustration to finish a gallon of vodka). And although things have changed a great deal in recent years, for the better in many cases, there are still a few parties and events happening for those who still crave that peace of mind, don’t want to hear sticky fingered kids scream, and really need to be with other gay people. There’s a little sarcasm there, but not much. 

Why should we be thankful? Let us count the ways: Sexy go-go boys, dozens of jamming DJ’s, Miley Cyrus (thanks for the twerking, btw) and a slew of turkey-themed parties. So whether you’re in New York or Tampa Bay, grab your lumbersexual flannel and get ready to dance the night away.

Here’s what’s happening in New York:

If there’s one thing I’m thankful for this year, it’s the model on the POSH Thanksgiving poster. Here’s to watching him get down to beats from DJ Scott Goodz and hand out some of those special sliders. And while we’re at it, the beer and hip location in Hell’s Kitchen are all pretty sweet Thanksgiving perks.

You can read the rest here, they even mention Mexico. For many years Tony and I went to separate family Thanksgivings and met up later at a friend’s house for a second Thanksgiving dinner. (No self-respecting gay person eats before 8pm, even on Thanksgiving.) The friend hosted a huge Thanksgiving for gay people who didn’t have family…or weren’t welcome with family. In a way I kind of miss it…mostly the friends who aren’t here any longer.

Davey Wavey’s Underpants

Often spotted naked online, Davey Wavey, gay youtube star and comical adviser of all things snark and gay, is starting his own underwear line. And it’s not his used underpants. It’s called DirtyFit and it has “penispouch” technology. I swear I am not making this up. I’m not sure what penispouch technology is, but I have a feeling Apple and Samsung won’t be fighting over it.

How is Wavey getting the money to fund this little venture? Where else? Kickstarter.

Help him out here by backing his underwear project, and get some awesome rewards in return. Just donating, you’ll already be one degree of separation from Davey, and that’s incentive enough for us! Watch the video below to learn more about DirtyFit, and Davey’s mission to make the world sexier than ever.

Here’s a link, where there’s another link to Davey Wavey’s begging for money campaign for underwear, if you want to make a donation for underwear with “penispouch” technology. Or, you could make a donation to a multitude of charities that range from cancer to AIDS research...or anything that you know will help your money go to a good cause that’s going to help make someone’s life a little better. 

Free Gay Christmas Excerpt: Chase of a Christmas Dream

Here’s an excerpt from my newest book, Chase of a Christmas Dream, that will be released sometime next week in places where e-books are sold. This one will run 30,000 words, it’s part of the continuing saga of Jim and Len Mayfield in the Chase love series, and it has a very happy ending. And it’s a stand alone, meaning you don’t need to read the rest of the series to know what’s happening. I despise cliff hangers.

I’ll post more about this toward the end of the year, plus about a few other changes I have planned that I think readers will like. At least I’m hoping they’ll like them. 

In any event, here’s the cover…still a work in progress. And below is the excerpt, never published before.

“I had a dream about my dad last night,” little Culum said.  It was a few days before Christmas at COAL Ranch and he was eating his favorite breakfast: cold pizza and scrambled eggs.
Normally, Jim did not allow cold pizza for breakfast, but Culum was so excited about all the people who were coming to visit for the holidays Len convinced Jim a little cold pizza with his eggs would not harm the kid this one time.  Jim sighed and agreed, finding comfort in knowing that at least the eggs were organic.
Len reached for a small carton of cream and he exchanged a quick glance with Jim.  Culum tended to be an unobtrusive child who often floored both Jim and Len at the most unusual times with one simple comment.
Jim smiled and said, “That’s nice, Culum.  Would you like to talk about the dream?”  Although Culum commonly referred to Len and Jim as his “dads” because they were raising him and they had legally adopted him, Len was actually Culum’s biological grandfather.  Jim knew that when Culum said he had been dreaming about his “dad,” in that context, he was talking about Cain Mayfield, his biological dad who had passed away at a young age.  Cain Mayfield had been Len’s son from a previous marriage and he had allowed Len and Jim to adopt Culum legally. 
Len frowned and poured cream into his coffee.  Jim knew he still did not like talking about Cain because it hurt so much.  Len was not the type of man who talked about his feelings or emotions aloud, at least not often.  He had lost his only son so suddenly he still had not gotten over the shock and whenever Cain’s name was mentioned this way his entire body seemed to recoil in retaliation.
Jim still missed Cain, too.  They had been the same age.  He had been Cain’s best friend growing up in Texas and they had been closer than brothers.  However, he thought it was important for Culum to talk about these things and get them out in the open, so he put Culum’s needs above his own and Len’s in this case all the time.  “What was the dream about, Culum?  I really want to hear about it.”
Culum dropped a chunk of pizza on the floor for the dog, Clinger, and thought about the question for a moment.  When he looked up at Jim, he shook his head and said, “Not right now.  I don’t want to be late for school today.  We’re having a party.  Dad said he’d come back and remind me in another dream.”
Jim tilted his head.  “He did?”
Culum nodded.  “He usually does that in the dreams.”
This was news to Jim.  “Do you dream about him a lot?”
Culum shrugged.  “Not that much. But I do.”
It broke Jim’s heart to hear Culum talk that way about Cain.  Jim never dreamed of Cain, and it had always bothered him.  He never could fill the void of losing Cain.  “Whenever you’re ready to talk, we’re here.”
Len sat up and said, “Then we’d better get moving, kiddo.  I don’t want to be late either.”  He smiled at Jim and said, “We’re having the office party today at lunchtime.  I wish you could make it.  You’d really like this restaurant.”  This was typical of Len: avoid all the emotional issues.  A spiritual experience for Len consisted of eating a whole pizza alone and watching sports on TV.
Jim smiled and he let the dream issue go.  Like anyone who has been married for a while, he knew how to select his battles.  Culum did not seem to want to talk about it and Jim knew Len did not want him to pursue the topic, especially not that early in the morning.  “I really wish I could go, Len.  You know how swamped I am right now.  I’ll be at the Dude ranch for a while with Caleb.”
Caleb was Len’s younger brother, an ex-priest who was identical to Jim’s dead son, Cain.  Jim had worked in marketing and he had recently quit his job for various reasons.  His dad in Texas had been diagnosed with cancer that year, his assistant, Arturo, had been killed in a hit and run accident, and his responsibilities at COAL Ranch and the all-gay dude ranch they owned on the property next door took up all of his time now.  He still worked from home with a few of his online marketing clients, but he did not miss having to go to an office in downtown Los Angeles and answering to a boss anymore.  Plus, he was growing tired of working in an online environment.  The lawless, old Wild West feel of the Internet continued to grow more vituperative as each day passed.  The ultimate goal was for Len to retire early from running the family company, Branson Communications, so they could run their businesses together and simplify their lives.
Len leaned over to help Culum climb down from his chair at the kitchen table and said, “I understand, and you know I don’t mind in the least.  I just wanted you to have some fun for a change.  You’ve been working more now than when you worked for the marketing firm.”
Jim stood up and reached for a few empty breakfast plates so he could begin loading the breakfast dishes in the dishwasher.  “I’m okay,” he said.  “I really am.  I am actually more relaxed than I have ever been.  I love everything I’m doing.”  His worst fear about quitting the marketing firm had been not having enough to do.
Len handed Culum a jacket and said, “I still want you to think about hiring a new assistant to take over Arturo’s responsibilities, and someone else for the dude ranch.”
No one could ever replace Arturo, on the ranch or in Jim’s heart.  Jim set the dishes on the white marble counter next to the new farm sink he’d had installed and said, “I will.  I’m just not ready yet.  I can’t even think about replacing Arturo with anyone else.  It wouldn’t seem right.  I need time.  I’d rather wait until after the new year.”
“I guess I can’t argue with you,” Len said.  He crossed to the sink so he could kiss Jim goodbye.  “I can’t seem to picture anyone taking Arturo’s place either.  Damn, I miss that guy so much sometimes.”
Culum said, “I miss Arturo as much as I miss my dad.” 
It broke Jim’s heart to hear Culum say he missed Cain and Arturo.  The poor kid had lost two of the most influential people in his life in a relatively short time span.  Jim knew he had to say something fast, so he walked over to the door where Culum was waiting for Len and bent down to hug him.   “Well you have nothing to worry about, Culum.  I am not hiring anyone for a while and your only concern is to have fun at your Christmas party at school today.  That’s it.  Plain and simple.”
Culum rolled his eyes.  “Dad, I told you that you’re not supposed to say that.  It’s not a Christmas party.  It’s a Holiday party.”  Culum went to a small, private advanced pre-school in West Hollywood called Over the Rainbow Tots, where the gay owners were often too progressive, too liberal, and painfully politically correct.
Jim smiled.  He found all this amusing.
Len, who tended to be more conservative on these matters, frowned and said, “Well, around here we call Christmas Christmas, young man.  If you have to call it a Holiday party at school, that’s fine.  I don’t want you breaking the rules at school.  You have to follow the rules of society the same way in order to grow up to be a responsible man.  I understand that.  But just so you know, you and the rest of this family are celebrating Christmas just as all other cultures are allowed to celebrate their own holidays without question.  And in this house, we call it Christmas.”  He looked at Jim and tilted his head sideways.  “Plain and simple.”
“Calm down, Len,” Jim said.  “It’s only a word.  We know we’re celebrating Christmas.”  Jim had begun to self-censor comments lately because he was now terrified to offend anyone by wishing them a Merry Christmas instead of a Happy Holiday.  Len never seemed to care who he offended, which is why his mother, Doris Branson, did not get along with him.  Len and Doris were too much alike to understand each other.
The nice thing about Len was that he often made his point clear and concise, and then he moved on to topics that were more important. Len patted Culum on top of the head and said, “Kiss your dad goodbye and wait for me outside.  I’ll be right there, kiddo.”
Culum kissed Jim, hugged Clinger, and turned toward the back door that would lead him out to a veranda.  “See you later, Clinger.  Love you, dad.”
Jim watched him leave. The big frisky Labrador wagged his tail so hard his entire back end wiggled. “Love you, too.  Have a good day.”
After he left, Jim looked at Len and said, “He’s growing up so fast.  I really want this Christmas to be special for him.  Before you know it he’ll be a teenager and he won’t care about anything but going out with friends.”
Len took a few steps toward Jim and put his arms around him.  “We have plenty of time for that.  This is going to be a great Christmas.  We all deserve it after the year we’ve been through.”
Jim nodded in agreement, but he was worried something might ruin Christmas.  “You can say that again.”  It had been a complicated year.  Jim’s dad had been diagnosed with cancer and had serious surgery, they had lost Arturo so suddenly, and Len’s widowed mom, Doris, had started dating a Catholic Monsignor she had been good friends with for many years.  All of this, on top of meeting up with a guy from Beverly Hills named Hal Robertson who had almost gotten Jim killed while he’d been in the process of selling the medical marijuana dispensaries he’d inherited from an old friend, Carol Greene.
“How’s your dad doing?”  Len asked.
Jim shrugged.  He spoke to his parents daily now.  “I think he’s doing okay.  He keeps talking about how he can’t wait to fly out here this weekend for Christmas.”  Although Jim’s dad, Radcliff, wasn’t supposed to have follow up treatments after his cancer surgery, it turned out they’d found more cancer cells and the surgeon said Radcliff’s only chance of living longer would be for him to do chemotherapy.  Radcliff had chosen to do the chemo in Texas, where Jim’s parents still lived.  He was in the middle of his second treatment and the docs had given him a week off for the holidays so he could fly to Chatsworth, California and spend them with his family.  Doris, Len’s mom, was flying into Texas in her private company jet and she was picking them up on her way from Connecticut so Radcliff would not have to fly commercial and be exposed to all kinds of germs in his compromised condition.
“I wish they’d move out here to Chatsworth for good,” Len said.  “It would make things so much easier.  And they love it here.”  Radcliff and Len had ben best friends back in Texas all the years Jim had been growing up.  Of course, when Jim fell in love with Len right after Jim graduated from Princeton and his parents found out he was sleeping with an older man they had been friends with all those years it created tension that Jim thought would never be resolved.  However, they all came to terms with their circumstances, thanks mainly to Culum, and things had been better than they were before.  When they were all together now, it was an unusual family with more than a few fundamental flaws and inconsistencies, but a family that loved and supported each other completely.
“I wish they would move, too,” Jim said.  “But you know my dad and Texas.  I’m not sure he’ll ever leave.  I just hope he is well enough to fly out here this week.  I told them we could all fly to Texas and celebrate Christmas there.”
“I think they want to come out here to the ranch,” Len said.  “I think this ranch and the good memories here are important.  It gives them something to look forward to that helps get them through the chemo treatments.”  They had spent a good deal of time at the ranch during Radcliff’s surgery, because he had chosen to have it done in Los Angeles.
Jim put his arms around Len and hugged him.  “I agree.  And thanks for being so understanding.  You have been my rock through all of this.  I don’t know what I’d do without you.”  He reached down between Len’s legs and grabbed him in a playful way.  He felt him grow erect almost instantly and he smiled.  Even though there was a seventeen-year age difference between them, and Jim was in his twenties and Len in his early forties, Len still did not look all that different than he had looked when he was in college and he’d posed nude for a Playgirl centerfold to make extra money for his expenses.  At the time, Len’s family in Connecticut had disowned him for getting a girl pregnant and he had only had a small trust fund from his maternal grandfather to pay his tuition.  In order to survive, Len had done anything he had to do to make money and using his magnificent male model body and face had been one of his options.

Bette Midler Slams Ariana Grande; Frankie Grande Is My Gay Icon; Gay Rape Attempt In Florida

Bette Midler Slams Ariana Grande

I’m not sure why, but these things usually come in batches…when celebrity mouths meet their feet. Earlier this week I posted a few insulting comments Bette Midler made about the gay community, here.

‘The extreme characters you used to see in the Village in the old days, you just don’t see them anymore,’ Midler tells 

‘I really do miss them because there was a feeling I used to get that people were expressing themselves in the most elaborate of ways,’ she adds. ‘Now the [gay community] has kind of gone mainstream. It’s sort of ordinary now, and a little bit of the specialness has rubbed away.’

Evidently, Bette misses the good old days when few came out of the closet, when guys were dying of AIDS and no one cared, and when gay marriage was nothing more than a metaphor for gay couples who had been together for the long term. We’re not as entertaining for her anymore.

And now Bette allegedly did it again, and this time with Ariana Grande who is a bright, exciting young pop star just beginning to come into her own, so to speak. Ariana is also the sister of Frankie Grande, Broadway star, who also happened to be on Big Brother this summer. I posted about him several times, too. Frankie is openly gay and his sister has shown her ultimate support for him.

But Bette, not my gay icon, thinks Ariana is ridiculous.

“It’s terrible! It’s always surprising to see someone like Ariana Grande with that silly high voice, a very wholesome voice, slithering around on a couch looking so ridiculous,” the 68-year-old entertainer shared to Telegraph.

I’m thinking/hoping that comment may have been taken out of context. Bette’s done a few ridiculous things, too, so she could be joking.

You can read the rest here. 

Frankie Grande Is My Gay Icon

Speaking of gay icons, I thought I’d post a few things about Frankie Grande for those who don’t know much about him. If I hadn’t been a long time fan of the Big Brother series (since season one) I wouldn’t have known much about him either. But I do think we’ll be hearing more from him, and from his sister, Ariana.

First, he’s adorable and he has a great body:

Frankie, 31, paired baby-pink skinny jeans with some black high-tops, and his shirt and pink bow tie matched the fit of his pants: They’re quite literally painted on. 

He’s also absolutely brilliant and he was probably the smartest contestant this summer in the Big Brother house. The only reason he didn’t win the grand prize is that he was too trusting and too nice, and if you’re a fan of the Big Brother game you’ll know that’s what usually happens to the smartest players. It never fails. The ones who can con and game the best usually win.  (Kind of like publishing and authors on Amazon.)

Second, Frankie is now on Broadway starring in Rock of Ages. I haven’t been yet, but this is one I’m actually dying to see. And it’s been a long time since I wanted to drive into Manhattan and see a B’way show. 

“I’m so unbelievably excited,” Grande, 31, tells PEOPLE of being cast as Franz in the rock musical. “I have wanted to play Franz ever since I first saw the show. I think it is one of the best, funniest, most clever roles.”

Grande began his Broadway career in 2007 when he joined the cast of the ABBA-inspired musical Mamma Mia! and had gotten close to booking the role of Franz – a character who was cut from the 2012 film but is a major role in the stage production – numerous times over the years. 

And third, here’s a link to all the info you need to know about Frankie for now. 

Frank James Michael “Frankie” Grande Marchione was born on January 24, 1983 in Boca Raton, Florida, USA. Grande is the older half-brother of singer and actress Ariana Grande. He grew up in Boca Raton, Florida where he attended Pine Crest School. Grande also graduated from Muhlenberg College in 2005. He triple-majored in biology and grew up in theater and dance. As of July 2014 he has over 200,000 subscribers on YouTube and has over 500,000 followers on Twitter and Instagram. Grande is openly gay.  

I have to admit I might have been a little on the fence when I first spotted Frankie and Ariana Grande. But after watching them both in action, and following them both on social media, I think they’re worthy of a little praise.

And sorry Cher and Bette Midler, I prefer my icons these days to be gay.  Those good old days are over.

Gay Rape Attempt In Florida

One reason why I so strongly support women with regard to rape is because it’s something that happens to gay men and it’s never publicized much…if at all. I think of it as another level of rape culture…dismissal. But this next article to which I’m linking proves it’s an issue. In this case the alleged rape was botched. It doesn’t make it any less serious in a general sense because it happens all the time and it’s not botched…to men and women. 
According to police, Kieu, who works as a licensed nail specialist, had been watching gay sex videos on a portable DVD player in the driver’s seat of his Honda Civic, which he had parked near a Campus USA credit union ATM machine at around 4:25 p.m. on Sunday afternoon. A man, whose name has not been released, went up and withdrew $220 from the machine. And that’s when Kieu jumped out of his car, pulled the man into the driver’s seat, straddled him and tried ripping off his clothes.

The man wrestled himself free and made a mad dash down the street, but not before Kieu was able to grab his backpack, pulling him back towards the vehicle. The man eventually broke free of Kieu’s grip and ran to a nearby shopping center hollering, “Rapist! Rapist!”

The rest is here. The police got the guy, but the comments are actually sad. One guy says he couldn’t stop giggling about this. This idiot wouldn’t have been giggling if it had happened to him.

The Sheriff and the Outlaw

by Ryan Field

Gay For Pay New York Fire Fighter; Jonathan West Gay Porn Top; Ravenous Romance Feature

Gay For Pay New York Fire Fighter

Last night while on Twitter I came across a tweet by a well known gay male porn star who was feeling frustrated and not sure about whether or not he wanted to continue in male adult entertainment. He’s been around for a while now, and I think his thoughts are fairly normal…even if he doesn’t realize it himself right now. The point is that everyone has to move forward eventually, which is a perfect example of this part of the post.

At first I thought the most surprising thing about this article I’m linking to now was that a guy was hired by the Fire Department of New York and he’s gay and a former gay porn star. I thought wow, good for him. But it gets better toward the end, which I’ll get to in a second. But first:

Jonathan Jesensky, 33, starred in at least 10 gay porn films before joining the ranks of New York’s Bravest as a rookie firefighter on Tuesday.

Jesensky, who also served in the Marines, ditched his porn career, where he’s known by his X-rated alias, Jonathan West, before he was hired as an FDNY EMT in 2012.

They allegedly knew Jesensky did gay porn before he was hired.  When interviewed, his co-workers claim to know nothing about Jesensky’s porn days and refused to discuss it. Jesensky refused to comment and his porn web site has been taken down…after his real identity was discovered by fans.

His record is almost perfect, and he’s a former Marine. But what really seems to be the most surprising aspect to all this is that he’s not gay and he performed in those films for the money. And from the comments quoted in the article he was very good at what he did on camera. I’m not familiar with him.

You can read more here. I have no strong opinions on this one. If he can make money doing gay porn, none of my business. The only time something like this bothers me is when gay guys pretend to be straight and do gay for pay. It happens. Watch the new movie out Beside Still Waters and see what I mean.

They said this over at Gawker. 

OK, but is he at least gay? A gay firefighter is..something you don’t see everyday. Maybe every other, but surely not everyday.

I think the most important thing here is that he knew when it was time to move forward with his life and say goodbye to the past. 

Jonathan West Gay Porn Top

Warning: this part of the post is NSFW, or at least the links aren’t. I just wanted to link to a few places where FDNY’s gay for pay firefighter, Jonathan West aka Jonathan Jesensky, has a web presence as a gay porn star. At least we now know that Jesensky/West is a top.

This web site gives a more detailed description.

Here’s more about his work as a porn star.

If you do a simple search you’ll come up with tons of links to web sites that either talk about him, or his films. He seems to be good at everything he does, and I don’t mean that in any way as a slur. There’s no hidden sarcasm either. I actually admire him for being one of the few who has made it beyond porn and moved forward with his life in a different way. He seems like a genuinely nice man.

Ravenous Romance Feature

Someone told me about this link to a very nice blog post about one of my e-publishers, Ravenous Romance. I know I’m often remiss when it comes to posting about my publishers, but I’ve had all excellent experiences with Ravenous Romance and I have no complaints whatsoever. And it’s nice to see someone write a post like this, totally unsolicited, to let people know she’s just discovered a new publisher. I don’t know this blogger at all. We’ve never even met on social media, but it was nice of her to do this.

I’m excited to find and feature publishers that are new to me. I have some author friends published with this one, but I didn’t visit their site before now. Ravenous Romance specializes in affordable sexy reads. Let’s take a look at some of their latest releases, all of which are $4.99 each! They also have a special where if you buy 4 books (hey, look, 4 new books) you get a fifth one free.

You can read the rest here. The blogger gives a few examples of what Ravenous publishes, and I’m one of them, with my newest release, Too Hard To Handle, in the Glendora Hill series.

Too Hard to Handle

"Manspread" Photos; Kirk Cameron Teaching How To Act With Gays; Best Gay Teen Romance

“Manspread” Photos

I’ve actually heard this “term” in a couple of places: manspread. It’s what happens when a guy spreads his legs in public, especially on a subway, and takes up too much room. It’s considered rude by some. This is a link to another link at Time where there’s a short rant about it.

Moylan says that men who spread their legs on the subway take up too much room, and it’s unfair to other passengers.

“As a human male who possesses a penis, I can say that there is no possible way that your package is that big,” he writes. “And if you have a package so large – as in an actual parcel – that is making you sit like this, you probably should do yourself and the world a favor and spring for a cab.”

I disagree. If you sit too long with your legs too close together it gets downright painful…unless, of course, Moylan doesn’t have much going on between his legs. It’s a natural process. When men sit they automatically spread their legs for obvious reasons. And while I’m sure some men can sit with their knees clamped together, most can’t.

You can read the rest here.

However, this link isn’t totally about a boring not so funny piece from Time Magazine. This is why I didn’t directly link to Time. You can also see a few excellent photos of manspreads from a gay POV. I sometimes think this is why dark sunglasses were invented.

Kirk Cameron Teaching How To Act With Gays

When you read things like this you have to wonder if they’re meant to be taken seriously. Ultra Christian right winger and former child star of the TV sitcom world, Kirk Cameron, is now giving pointers on how to behave around gay people.

A video has surfaced of a (partially out of context) highlight reel from one of Kirk Cameron’s appearances on a wing-nut Christian channel called The Way Of The Master Television that is disturbing even by his standards.

“If we fail to be blunt and straightforward about that sin, we’re doing a disservice to our gay friends.”

There’s more here, with a link to a Christmas film Cameron just released. I have to wonder about him. I really do. I used to think he was so hot when I was just a kid. It just doesn’t make sense and if it doesn’t make sense the odds are it’s most likely not true. In other words, it’s not easy to get a part (or any attention at all) if you’re a former child actor with limited talents from the TV sitcom world and sometimes you do what you have to do.

Best Gay Teen Romance

This looks interesting. It’s being called the best gay teen romance ever. It’s a film by Daniel Ribeiro and it’s titled, The Way He Looks. (Notice, it’s not entitled…it’s titled…I see that a lot lately and the difference between the two words is important. In other words, a book or a film is “titled” and a person with a bad attitude usually feels “entitled.” You don’t look so hot if you confuse the two.)

It’s been winning awards and acclaim everywhere — and it’s now playing in theaters across the country. Is Daniel Ribeiro’s new Brazilian gay teen drama The Way He Looks the best gay teen romance ever? Here’s a select A-Z list of top contenders — running the gamut from this year’s other hot new gay teen release, the Dutch track team romance Boys to the 1978 Danish classic, You Are Not Alone. Enjoy the trailers and chime in with your votes and write-in candidates in the comments below (and click thru on the links to visit the pages where you can find out where to watch them all).

I haven’t seen it…or any of them yet. You can check them out here.

Chase of a Holy Ghost

.99 Kindle Book


Ex-Gay Therapist vs Harvard Gay Student; Rent Boys Talk Truth; Jonathan Groff On The Comeback

Ex-Gay Therapist vs Harvard Gay Student

There are a few points in this article I thought were interesting. The first one is that I can’t wait until the day comes for gay people when telling their parents is NOT this huge grand affair that creates the kind of drama that makes a woman want to drive her car off the road. I know there are arguments to this, but my point is that there should NOT be arguments for this.

In short, Scott Blair took his LSAT s and checked the gay box on a Harvard application. When Harvard called to say they wanted him, they told his mom he was gay, without knowing they were outing him. His mom confronted him, he admitted he was gay, and that’s when she lost it.

“I almost want to drive this car into a tree,” said Scott’s mother. “Can you let me out of the car first and then you can go ahead?” he answered like a true lawyer-to-be.

And it only gets worse. His parents joined some kind of weird ex-gay group in New Jersey and they asked Scott to meet with an ex-gay therapist. This meeting happened when Scott was already in his second year of Harvard Law School.

But it does get better from this point, thanks to Scott. His training as an attorney left him well-prepared to deal with the creepy ex-gay therapist.

First, the counselor started with the “there is no gay gene” schtick. “Every study that’s reported to find a gay gene has been authored by gays,” he continued.

Scott’s response: “I have no idea what studies you’re talking about, but sexuality is very complex. Everything that humans do is very complex. All a gene does is control the expression of a protein. I would be extremely shocked if one gene could control anything like that.”

The counselor looked at Scott with confused bewilderment, never having received such an answer. His next move was to pry into Scott’s upbringing –specifically his parents’ divorce. He told Scott that many people who are angry at their mothers following a divorce are “turned off” to women.

“So if I was angry at my mother, that would make me gay, but you also asked me how I felt about my father. My guess is what you’re going to say is that if I was angry at my father, that would make me want to seek the company of other men.”

You can read the rest of the question and answer with Scott and the counselor, here. Scott mops the
proverbial floors with him, and he does it with a smile.

This also why I always warn people never to get into an argument online with an attorney, not even if you’re totally right and know all the odds are stacked in your favor. You won’t win.

Rent Boys Talk Truth

They titled this with the term “Sex Worker,” and while I see nothing wrong with that I prefer the more common usages: rent boy or prostitutes.  Although not so PC, most people know what a rent boy or a prostitute is.

I really dislike articles/promos like this in gay publications. This is another one of those articles that allegedly states rent boys are telling us all the truth about what it’s like to be a rent boy. I never bought into that kind of rubbish, and I never will. When you think about what a rent boy does for a living, and who he has to do it with, and then you read between the lines, it’s hard to imagine how these guys get through a day. So I don’t believe it’s the truth. And I’m not knocking rent boys, nor am I judging them. I know why they do it. I’m just wondering how they can do it.

In any event, this is rich wtf-ery…it could have been titled Fire Is Hot:

Prostitution is a young person’s game.

Most male sex workers skew younger, usually between 20 to 30 years old. They tend to describe themselves as “fit” and “good-looking.” A large number of them call themselves “Jake,” and more often than not have brown hair and brown eyes.

“To succeed, these young men need to be skilled negotiators, small business operators, engaging conversationalists and fit, active and appealing,” Scott says.

Most clients are older, married men.

Clients tend to be predominantly middle-aged, married men who identify as “straight.”

“I discovered a side of my personality that I didn’t know existed,” one male client revealed in an interview. “And I discovered that I love to be sexually dominated by another man. For a long time, I was in relationships with women and had what I would call ‘traditional sex’, but somehow with time this stopped working for me.”

Go ahead, read between the lines of those statements above and see what you come up with. It sounds to me like good looking young men selling their bodies to older married fat-assed cheaters who never came out of the closet. I find that hard to praise. It’s sad, but not praiseworthy. I also find it hard to knock because I’m a realist and I know people need these things, too. Aside from everything else, one thing is for sure. If these young rent boys had money of their own I doubt they’d be doing older men to make a living.

The rest is here. This “article” is really nothing more than a book promotion by someone who found yet another way to exploit younger gay men with the kind of clickbait that’s hard to resist. You’ll find as much truth there as you will interviewing any politician in Washington. As I said, I’m not knocking the rent boys, I’m just knocking the people who are always there to exploit them.

Jonathan Groff On  The Comback

I think everyone knows Jonathan Groff is starring in “Looking” and that “The Comeback” is another HBO show starring Lisa Kudrow. TC was recently brought back to TV after a looooong hiatus and Goff is a fan of the show. I’m actually a huge TC fan, too. It think Valerie Cherish, the main character on TC, is one of the most interesting women characters on TV. It’s the way she thinks, and the way she reacts. It’s perfect.

In any event, here’s what Groff said:

I’m a huge huge Comeback fan. I literally watch it so much that throughout the course of shooting this season they’ve had to tell me to stop saying my lines like Valerie Cherish. Like, ‘You’re line’s sounding a little Valerie Cherish can you just take it down a notch,’ and I’m like, ‘Oh, right. Sorry sorry sorry.’ Sometimes we’ll actually rehearse our lines as Valerie Cherish while we’re rehearsing a scene. We are all obsessed with the show.”

Of course this could all be just a huge promo…one HBO star promoting another…but I have nothing to gain by telling you how much I love “The Comeback.” It really is a great show. There’s a nice photo of Groff here. showing some arm pit action.  

Cage James
.99 Kindle Book

Straights Don’t Like Gay PDA; Bette Midler Gay Culture Is Ordinary; Strictly Come Dancing With Gay Couples

Straights Don’t Like Gay PDA (Public Display of Affection)

This is interesting because there’s a mixed message coming from many in the mainstream with regard to gay people showing any signs of public affection, in direct contrast with gay rights and equality. In this case it’s gay people (men and women) kissing in public.

In a survey of 1,000 Americans, 70% said they supported inheritance rights for gay couples, but far fewer were supportive of gay people kissing in public. 

Of the straights interviewed, 95% said they approved of straight couples kissing on the cheek in public, but only 55% approved of gay male couples doing the same. When asked if it was a lesbian couple, 72% approved. 

Over 20% of heterosexuals surveyed even disapproved of gay men telling the respondents about their relationships.

You can read the rest here. I think this just proves how much discrimination there is out there, and how much all LGBT people need to start standing up for themselves in different ways…which will happen in time. I also think as more gays assimilate this PDA issue will disappear eventually.

Bette Midler Gay Culture Is Ordinary

First, in full disclosure, I’ve been gay all my life and frankly Bette Midler’s never been my most favorite performer. I like some things she’s done, others not so much. So this notion that all gay men think of her as an icon isn’t exactly correct. I really do think it’s becoming more important to clarify some things, and one is that Midler’s only an icon to a certain segment of the gay community, not the entire gay community.(The same goes for Kathy Griffin, Liza, Cher, and a few others.) You can read this piece by Nick Boeving about gay icon, the late Joan Rivers.

So with that out of the way, I’m going to remain as objective as I can to Midler’s recent statements:

‘The extreme characters you used to see in the Village in the old days, you just don’t see them anymore,’ Midler tells 

‘I really do miss them because there was a feeling I used to get that people were expressing themselves in the most elaborate of ways,’ she adds. ‘Now the [gay community] has kind of gone mainstream. It’s sort of ordinary now, and a little bit of the specialness has rubbed away.’

I can’t help but think that sounds a lot like a confederate southerner after the Civil War claiming how much they miss the good old days of slavery before the Civil War. Or even worse, it’s like men of the 21st century saying they miss the good old days when women in the 19th century couldn’t vote, work, or in some cases even own property and handle their own money.

I don’t know WTF she’s talking about with regard to “specialness.” Maybe she should watch more Glee. Or, Ask Oprah and her best friend Gayle to do a special on OWN abut it.

Look at it this way, Midler would never have said that about any other minority in America without getting slammed from one end to the other. And, this is really another good example of passive aggressive homophobia where the straight person making the comments doesn’t even realize it. I don’t think Midler meant harm.

You can read the rest here.  

Strictly Come Dancing With Gay Couples

I posted a while back about an article where someone slammed the concept of gay people dancing together in high profile dancing competitions…like the TV show, Dancing With the Stars. I’m too lazy to look for that link, however, this article to which I’m linking now discusses gay couples dancing on a BBC show called Strictly Come Dancing.

Strictly Come Dancing will feature same-sex couples dancing together for the first time this weekend.

The BBC dancing competition show will feature the professional dancers doing a ‘Cops and Robbers’ routine, likely to appear on Sunday night’s results show (23 November).

Gay pro Robin Windsor, who was forced to pull out of this year’s competition due to a back injury, will return to dance alongside the other pros.

You can read more here. It’s happening, slowly but surely. It’s still making headlines, it’s still shocking to many, but someone should let Bette Midler know that now we’re actually allowed to dance together on big TV shows just like everyone else. It may sound ordinary to some, but it’s one more step toward equality for the rest of us and I for one don’t miss the “good old days.”

The Sheriff and the Outlaw

by Ryan Field



Zac Efron on Masturbation; Free Gay .99 Excerpt; Alec Baldwin On Grindr & Don Lemon Rape Comments;

Zac Efron on Masturbation

Here’s a link to one of those multi-linked articles, where at one point they show a video of Zac Efron talking about how often he masturbates…with James Franco. Pure clickbait, but it’s fun…and it’s Friday.

Zac Efron is simply better at everything than the rest of us. Not only can he masturbate 17 times a day, he tells James Franco that he can do it without using his hands and offers an impromptu demo.

You can read the rest here, where there’s a video. It’s actually an interesting link because it also mentions Mike Nichols and there’s a great Shirley MacClaine clip as well.

Alec Baldwin On Grindr 

It looks as if Alec Baldwin is making some kind of statement with his new web series, Alec Baldwin’s Love Ride, about gays in a general sense. I think everyone knows what happened with his gay-hate rants that may or many not have been misinterpreted. I’m not getting into that now because I actually don’t think Baldwin is a homophobic man, nor does he dislike gays. I think he’s got a really bad (vicious) temper and doesn’t know how to control it.

I don’t support what Baldwin said. But it bothers me that Baldwin paid so heavily for his statements and since that happened others have gotten off with a pat on the wrist. James Franco gets away with passive aggressive homophobia all the time and they can’t get enough of him. Nick Jonas gay baits and even gay men who don’t have the slightest clue about cultural appropriation stick up for him. Maybe this is my conspiracy paranoia working overtime, but it just doesn’t seem fair that there always seems to be two sets of standards.

Recently, everyone’s dream guy, Don Lemon, over at CNN made a few ridiculous statements with regard to rape culture and so far no one’s gone after him the way they went after Baldwin. And frankly, I think what Lemon said about women was far worse than what Baldwin said about gays during Baldwin’s out of control rant. Lemon was not ranting or out of control. He was sitting quietly in a TV studio and he wasn’t even slightly upset. If you do a search for Don Lemon and rape comments you won’t come up with much from the lgbt media.

In any event, Baldwin gets into gay love/hook ups in this article.

They cover the differences between Grindr, where the couple met, and Scruff. As Alec puts it, “Scruff is where you send pictures form the waist up, and Grindr from the waist down.” How little he knows…

He concludes that the couple is “awesome” as he is fed questions from his lesbian friend off camera. He even offers up her uterus at the end of the ride. How generous!

This is one of those times I’m personally at odds with many in the gay community, especially gay media. As an openly gay man I find it somewhat disingenuous that this publication wrote this piece with this tone, and that most have yet to go after Don Lemon for what he said about rape…to a woman who was allegedly raped by Bill Cosby. But Lemon and Baldwin apologized, but only Lemon was given the free pass. There’s something wrong with that on a much deeper level.

You can read the rest here. What they basically do is remind you of Baldwin’s past offenses in a way that comes off looking shabby and tired instead of clever and relevant.

Free Gay Excerpt: Four Feet Under With My Buddies

When this story was released I had about a hundred things going on and I never really had a chance to promote it very well. I know that it appears to be only about a foot fetish, but it does actually go much deeper and I wanted to give a sample to show that. There’s a story here, too.

Here’s the amazon link, and it can be found in most places where e-books are sold. Please also keep in mind that this is a raw version before edits because it’s more compatible with google blogger than PDF. 

<!–[if !mso]>st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } <![endif]–>
            The day we buried old Clyde it rained. A slow, steady drizzle began at noon and lasted for the next thirteen hours. And the only thing I could think about was I hadn’t gotten laid in months.
            I stood outside beside my mom, dad, younger brother, and housekeeper, Mattie Johnson. We all wore black and held miss-matched umbrellas with frayed edges. The only one who actually cried was my younger brother.
            And that’s because we were burying his pet rat and we couldn’t have cared less. He’d insisted we all congregate in the back yard in a show of mutual respect and we all decided to support him. He’s only ten; he made up a shoe box to resemble a miniature casket, with brown paint and tiny little cabinet handles he’d pilfered from my dad’s tool shed. He even read a short eulogy he’d written on the back of a school essay in blue crayon and expected each one of us to say a few words about Clyde when he was finished.

            When I glanced at the expression on Mattie Johnson’s face as she gazed down into a dark hole that looked about four feet deep, I smiled. Her eyebrows were quirked, her lips pinched, as she searched for the right words to describe the pet rat that had always made her either jump or scream.
Mattie Johnson cleared her throat and rolled her eyes. She took a deep breath and said, “Ah well, rest in peace old Clyde.” Then she shot me a serious, urgent glance, letting me know she was finished and it was my turn.
            I reached for my brother’s shoulder and said, “He was a great little guy. We’ll all miss him. He was one of a kind, buddy.” Then I flung my father a look to let him know it was his turn.
My father cleared his throat and glanced down at the shoe box in the hole. He seemed to be at a loss for words until my brother’s little head went up with an unyielding glance that even tugged at my heart. That’s when my father softened and said, “Max is right. He was a great little guy and we’re all going to miss him, kiddo. He was one of a kind.”
I rolled my eyes at my father for mimicking me, and he shrugged. He could have come up with something original.
            Then my mother talked about the time “good old Clyde” escaped from his cage and we couldn’t find him for three ways. Mom laughed and smiled; she held my younger brother’s other shoulder and sent him reassuring glances as she spoke. She rambled with a sing-song tone, and for a minute I worried she might break into a chorus of The Sound of Music and expect us all to yodel.
The only one who didn’t smile this time was Mattie Johnson. And that’s because she’s the one who found Clyde the last time he’d been lost. He’d somehow found his way to her bedroom off the kitchen and into her underwear drawer. When she opened the drawer to get dressed the next morning and reached inside to pull out her granny panties, she saw Clyde looking up at her with his beady red eyes. She screamed with such might we all came running down to see what had happened. By the time we got there, Mattie Johnson was out cold across the pink and white chenille bedspread and Clyde was still in the underwear drawer rummaging through her panties.
            After the funeral service, we all went back to the house for a small reception my younger brother had planned out in advance. In Clyde’s honor, there were celery stalks, carrot sticks, lettuce leaves, and some kind of grainy thing no one touched. For the first time since I’d been granted a license to drive I was thrilled about getting another speeding ticket. We had to go to court that afternoon and we only had about an hour to spare at the funereal reception after Clyde’s services.
            At this point, I should probably explain the reason we were going to traffic court is because my mom has been studying to be a lawyer for a long time. I would have paid the ticket and been done with it. I still had a few points to spare before my license was revoked. I would just drive more cautiously. But mom was in her last year of law school and eager to pass the state bar and get started. She was a little too eager, if you ask me. When she heard me explain the reason I got the speeding ticket…because the wind was blowing and a huge branch from a weeping willow tree was blocking the speed limit sign…she insisted I plead innocent to the ticket and fight it in court. At first, I was against this. I actually begged her to let me plead guilty even though it was true about the branch covering the speed limit sign. It really wasn’t my fault this time. Ever since the last speeding ticket I’d been driving like a ninety year old. But my mom insisted she’d represent me and that I had nothing to worry about.
             Three hours later, I slumped through the front door of our home with my head down and my hands in my pockets. My mom followed, with her lips pressed together and her gaze fixed on the back of my head. Mattie Johnson was in the kitchen getting dinner ready; the pots and pans were clamoring in all directions. My dad and brother were on the living room sofa watching TV. When dad looked up and saw us walk inside, he smiled and asked, “How did it go?”
My mom shrugged and set her purse on the chair next to the hall closet. “Not quite like we thought it would, dear.”
            I turned and sent her a sharp stare. Then I turned the same glance on my dad and said, “You won’t believe it. I still don’t believe it. The judge was almost ready to dismiss the entire case, with the stipulation that I attend a few hours of driving school. They weren’t even going to give me points against my license. I was home free.”
             My dad stood up and smiled. “That’s great, son. Sounds like your mom did a great job.”
            “I’m not finished,” I said, with a deadpan tone. I glanced back and my mom and rolled my eyes. “When I jumped up to thank the judge, mom turned around and told him it wasn’t acceptable. She pointed at the judge and insisted the speed limit sign was being obstructed by the willow tree branch, and then went into an hour long dissertation. She mentioned other cases like this; she gave examples from books. I’m not joking either. By the time she was finished, the judge was hanging over the bench ready to beg for mercy.”
            Mom put her hands on her hips. “I was right. And that judge knew it.”
Dad frowned and asked, “What happened after that?” I could see he wasn’t portending good news by the way he rubbed his jaw.
            I looked up at the ceiling. “It wasn’t pretty. I won’t go into all the details. I lost my license for three months, I get three more points, and I still have to go to driving school.”
            “I’m going to appeal this,” Mom said. “I’m not going to stop until I win.”
I turned and headed toward the stairs so I could wash up for dinner. On my way, I said, “Please don’t do me any more favors, mom. I’ll wind up without a license for the next decade.”
            The thought of being without a driver’s license for three months was more than I could handle. I sat at the dinner table that night pushing my food all over the plate and didn’t say a word. I was going to a local community college and it was bad enough I was still living at home with my mom and dad and not in a dorm. It was even worse that I still jacked to gay porn in the bedroom where I grew up. My long term goal was to attend a four year university in the fall. I’d been accepted; I knew I would have plenty of freedom then. But the thought of being without a license while still living at home and commuting to college turned my stomach to the point where I couldn’t even look at food. Everyone tried to cheer me up. Mattie Johnson even offered to make me an ice cream sundae with wet nuts. But I just sat there sulking, staring down at my plate.  I wanted my license. And the only wet nuts I wanted that night were between some guy’s hairy legs.
            After dinner, I had to ask my mom for a ride. My dad was going out to play poker and Mattie Johnson didn’t drive at night anymore. I was still mad at mom for what happened in court. But I didn’t have much of a choice. I always worked out at the school gym about four or five nights a week. It’s quieter and there aren’t many people around at that hour: there wouldn’t be other guys stripping and changing in front of me. Jock straps and athletic cups make my knees weak. I felt comfortable in the locker room on the off hours and I didn’t have to worry about getting turned on. I was usually the only one there and I always wondered who locked the doors at night. Although I’m not the best athlete and not the biggest guy around, at five feet seven inches tall and one hundred and fifty pounds, I always did my best. I have great pecs that really pop when I’m pumped, if I do say so. And I know I’ve turned a few heads when I take my shirt off and people see my abs. I always figured the more I work out the bigger and better I’ll get. Besides, when you’re gay, still living at home in the small town where you grew up, and going to community college, there’s not much else to doon a Friday night.