Rainbow Detective Agency Series; So They Call This Nonsense A Bromance; Paints With His Penis; Gay Rape Survivor

Rainbow Detective Agency Series

I don’t know why Amazon does this, but it happens all the time with publishers and with indie authors. They make it almost impossible to find a web page where the entire series is located for readers. It all has to do with search engines and it would take too long to explain, so here are links to books in The Rainbow Detective Agency that are now out in both digital and paperback. They are listed in order, but each book is a stand alone. The reason why Book 5 isn’t listed is because it’s a box set. Amazon…again.

The Rainbow Detective Agency Series:

The Rainbow Detective Agency – Book 1

The Rainbow Detective Agency – L’uomo Magico – Book 2

The Rainbow Detective Agency – A Guy With Two Penises – Book 3

The Rainbow Detective Agency – On Fleek – Book 4

The Rainbow Detective Agency – The Scottish Duke – Book 6

The Rainbow Detective Agency – The Wedding – Book 7

There are two more books in the series coming up very soon.

So They Call This Nonsense A Bromance

I think I might start a new regular feature here called stupid gay for you stuff. In fact, I think most gay for you is insulting. I wish I had more of a sense of humor with this one (or with anything gay for you), but it’s so staged and so painfully dumb it just leaves me wondering what kind of person does something like this. 

Professional wedding photos are fine — the happy couple, the dressy looks, the glimmer of hope that binding yourself to another person will bring you a lifetime of happiness and stop all those existential thoughts about death you’ve been having — they’re a perfectly functional way to mark the occasion.

But for one recent groom, John, capturing the love he had for his bride-to-be just wasn’t enough. The equation would have left out someone very important — his best man.

I gather it’s a parody of some kind. You can check it out for yourselves here.

The problem is I don’t think people are laughing with them. They’re laughing AT them…especially in many of the comments.

JT said…

Very distasteful. They make a mockery of true love between men. To them, it’s a hip game to laugh about.

Paints With His Penis

Now here’s something that did make me smile. Yes, it’s stupid, but it’s not insulting…even if he is a serious artist. This dude paints pictures with his penis.

He paints with his penis.

Fraser recently appeared on France’s Got Talent to show off his, for lack of a better word, talent, by penis-painting one of the show’s judges. Ballsy move!

We have to wonder if the other judges felt shafted.

You can see SFW shots of him painting with his penis here.  

I’m actually kind of curious about this from a strictly technical POV. I think a paint brush is at least eight inches long, if not longer. And I wonder how he cleans up afterward.

Gay Rape Survivor

There’s nothing funny about this. If you’re a gay man and you’ve been in any kind of compromising or threatening position you know what I’m talking about. I once went to a bar alone and this guy I thought was attractive in a rough trade sort  of way started coming on to me. At first, I liked him and I didn’t discourage him. He was bigger, stronger, older, and very confident. He kept calling me “blondie” and forcing me to sit on his lap. At first it seemed to be harmless. But as the night progressed he started getting more aggressive and I didn’t know what to do. And I mean creepy aggressive, not playful aggressive. There’s a difference. I finally said I was going to the bathroom, and then I took off out the back door and jumped into my car. Some people aren’t as lucky as I was.

In a powerful new essay published by The Independent, writer Dean Eastmond opens up about being raped three years.

Eastmond was 16 years old when the 2012 Olympic games took place in London.

“My quaint little hometown of Weymouth hosted the sailing events,” he recalls, “and I ended up as an Olympic attendant, serving food to athletes and their crews. Not a bad first job, I guess.”

During the course of the job, Eastmond befriended another guy who was a couple years older than him.

“We used to get the same bus into work each morning,” he writes. “He looked and acted like a nice enough guy. He was always smiling, and popular with our other colleagues. As a shy and closeted teenager, I looked up to him as a friend.”

You have to read this. What’s interesting is that in many of these rape cases the victim usually knows the rapist beforehand.  

I’m just glad someone’s talking about it. When the incident at the bar happened to me, even though I escaped without issue, I had no one to talk to about it.

Rainbow Detectives In Print; LGBT Refugees In Amsterdam; Gay Sexual Harassment In Workplaces; Running a Successful Gay Venue These Days

Rainbow Detectives In Print

Here’s a list of books for The Rainbow Detective Agency that I’ve released for publication in print. The links will all lead you to Create Space where, if you are interested, you can purchase them. They will also be for sale on Amazon, in both print paperback and as e-books. I’ll post links when I get them.

The Rainbow Detective Agency https://www.createspace.com/5916749

LGBT Refugees In Amsterdam

Five gay refugees in Amsterdam seeking asylum had to be removed from the rest of the refugees because the rest of the refugees were attacking them. Why they were being attacked should be obvious. They’re gay.

Five gay asylum seekers–three Syrians, one Iranian and one Iraqi–have been moved to new housing after they were spat on and attacked at their previous refugee center.

A spokesman for the Salvation Army, which is in charge of refugee accommodation in the capital, was quoted as saying that the men’s safety could not be guaranteed in their former housing.

The Parool newspaper reported that gay refugees will have their own wing in the Groenhof refugee center in a former care home close to the city centre early next year.

I keep hearing about how peaceful these refugees are and I try to keep an open mind. However, they’re so peaceful they’re attacking and spitting on gays? Enough so that the gay people had to be moved for protection.

Take note that it’s the Salvation Army helping the gay refugees. I have one very loud gay friend who is always slamming the Salvation Army I should show this to. 

You can read the rest here. 

Gay Sexual Harassment In Workplaces

You don’t see many cases like this being reported because most gay men don’t want anyone to know when something like this happens. You know, because of the shame that not only goes along with sexual harassment, but also the shame that goes along with being gay. So most gay men live with it quietly.

A truck driver has won an eye-watering $2.2 million in a lawsuit against a former employer who repeatedly grabbed his buttocks and drew penises on his paychecks.

Raymond Rosas accused his boss at Balter Sales Co, a New York City restaurant supply company, of sexual harassment in the suit filed in 2012.

According to the New York Daily News, Barry Rosenberg would draw a penis on his paycheck nearly every week.

This is one of those cases where I’m glad someone got litigious. You can read about it here. 

Running a Successful Gay Venue These Days

That almost sounds like an oxymoron because I’ve been posting about gay bars…and businesses…shuttering here on this blog for a long time. I’ve also seen gay publishers, as we’ve always known them, closing up, too. I’m talking about traditional gay publishers who published content for gay men. But I don’t want to drift off course with this, and I could very easily.

This article talks about how to run a successful gay business in these changing times. The focus seems to be on gay bars.

Veteran London club promoter Wayne Shires is one person who has, with the launch of Bloc Bar in Camden and monthly club night Brut, which takes place in a series of railway arches beneath Cannon Street Station.

He says that reports of the death of the gay scene have been exaggerated; it’s just changing, as it has always done.

‘I don’t think people are necessarily going out less. Things change. I’ve been operating for over 20 years, and years ago when I was a young, Earls Court was the gay hotspot, then for whatever reason that went into decline, and then Vauxhall flourished, and that had a good ten years and now that’s in decline. The scene has always been fluid.

‘I think as long as there are people who want to do things, LGBT entrepreneurs who want to put on a party or open a bar or café, or whatever, then there will be a scene. They will find somewhere to do it.’

I don’t know anything about the UK so I can’t comment on this, but I do know that there are several places in the US where I think gay venues will continue to thrive, at least for the next decade or so. However, these venues are usually located in resort towns where there’s a huge concentration of gay people…like Provincetown. Even if you’re gay and you don’t go out to gay bars anymore where you live, you’ll go to a gay bar in Provincetown because you’re on vacation. 

You can read the rest here. One person so far commented and I think he’s right.  Age and generation have a lot to do with this, too. And let’s face it, people are more health conscious and they’re drinking less. They’re also terrified of getting a DUI. 

I might be wrong, but I blame it on technology. Nowadays we have apps like G and H, that allow us to meet likeminded people, without having to go out to the local lgbt bars. Also, some bars want to stick to the “good ole days” and try to avoid change. Again, I might be wrong, please educate me.

Being Called Beautiful; Ten Style Tips For Men; Is Lady GaGa Toning Things Down?

Being Called Beautiful

This is an experiment of sorts to the reaction people give when someone calls them beautiful. The interesting thing is the filmmaker wasn’t looking for reactions. Her intentions were to just find beauty.

Teen filmmaker Shea Glover set out to make a short film documenting all the things that she found beautiful. So she went around her performing arts high school in Chicago and began filming her fellow classmates and teachers.

She didn’t tell her subjects what she was doing until they were already in front of the camera. When she did, the responses she got, she says, were not what she had expected.

You can see what she’s talking about here. 

It’s really a wonderful thing to see…just nice regular people reacting to the kind of attention they don’t usually receive. This is art.

Ten Style Tips For Men

Admittedly, I’m a slave to things like this. I like to know what’s new, different, and interesting when it comes to style and fashion. And here are ten style tips I think work in a general sense.

This one is something I’ve always believed in…

Three: A crisp white shirt immediately cleans up your look and makes you look very elegant. Whether it is pair with a suit for work or under a jacket for a night out, this shirt makes you a smooth operator. Think sexy Tom Ford model. Or sexy Tom Ford.

Yeah, you can’t go wrong with a white shirt. You don’t want to wear those matching color coordinated ties and dress shirts like the guy who does your local traffic report every morning. White is never wrong.

You can read the rest here.  I like the one about hair, and the other about having a sense of humor.

Is Lady GaGa Toning Things Down?

Here’s one of those quotes from Lady GaGa about how she doesn’t feel the need to be outrageous anymore.

This is the year I did what I wanted instead of trying to keep up with what I thought everyone else wanted from me. At the end of 2014, my stylist asked, ‘Do you even want to be a pop star anymore?’ I looked at him and I go, ‘You know, if I could just stop this train right now, today, I would. I just can’t.

The rest of the quote talks about how she would like to portray herself as an example for other young women.

I think people who become known for a certain “thing” or look are placed into neat little boxes and they may or may not ever be able to climb out fully. It happens with writers all the time. Society tends to do this without even thinking about it. And I think anyone who wants the kind of attention GaGa gets needs to be outrageous. People want to be entertained in an outrageous way. I hope she comes to terms with this and embraces what made her a success.

You can finish her quote here.

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Ryan Field Print Book Covers; Gus Kenworthy’s Penis; Kim Davis Time Magazine Person of the Year

Ryan Field Print Book Covers

I’m just showing this because it helps keep me organized. One of the benefits of maintaining a blog like this is to keep information in one place so that it’s there whenever you need it. And I really do use this blog for that reason.

In any event, we’re approving book covers for my books that are going into print and I thought I’d share it with blog readers. It’s much more involved than this, but it’s interesting as well. Here are two from The Rainbow Detective series. But they are the same covers I used for the e-books.

Gus Kenworthy’s Penis

I didn’t know how else to put this because the title of the original post is about Gus Kenworthy crying after he had sex with girls, and his revealing whether or not he’s circumcised. So I figured I’d just go for the clickbait this time. I think we all know I love Kenworthy and I’d never do anything that I thought was harmful to him. In other words, I honestly couldn’t care less about his penis. I just like him a lot because of what he’s doing with his life and how he’s helping a lot of gay people.

Here’s part of what he says…

“I used to hook up with girls to be cool with the guys,” he told US Weekly, adding, “There were times I would cry afterward.”

Though he reconciled his feelings at age 16, he continued to maintain a straight persona out of professional concerns.

Sold on Amazon

“I was worried that I’d be known as ‘the gay skier’ … and everything else about me would be overlooked,” he explained. “I have a big fan base of young girls, and I didn’t want to disappoint them.”

I think almost every gay man can understand those feelings at one time or another. It’s just never easy. In the article he also mentions he’s “uncut,” and a few other interesting projects he’s doing.

You can check that out here. He really is one in a proverbial million.

Kim Davis Time Magazine Person of the Year

When I first saw this on social media I thought it was a joke…or a hoax. Evidently, it’s real and Time Magazine is considering Kim Davis as their person of the year.

Much like music, antigay county clerk Kim Davis has helped bring people together, whether you’re a law-abiding pro-marriage equality citizen or you’re not. Now the charming and charismatic Notorious K.I.M. is being suggested as a nominee for “Time’s Person of the Year.” We get it. In 1938 Hitler received the dubious honor.

My feelings about Time Magazine are very simply put. Someone gave me a subscription as a gift a few years ago, I’m still getting the awful rag every week in the mail, and it never makes it into my home. On the way back from the mailbox, I drop it into the trash bin without even looking at the cover.
In Print Here

I understand what they’re doing. I don’t like Kim Davis much because she’s an elected official who had a job to do according to the law…and the process…and she refused to do it. However, Time Magazine is no bargain either and I don’t care who they put on the cover because I’m still throwing it out anyway.

You can read the rest here. 

There are almost 200 comments.  

FREE Gay Fiction Excerpt; Full Frontal Male Nudity Live Stream YouTube; Racism and "The Wiz"

Full Frontal Male Nudity Live Stream YouTube

On Twitter yesterday I saw a tweet about this live streaming Youtube video so I went over and checked it out. Sure enough there’s this good looking young guy, completely naked, lying in some kind of a glass box in a public place…while passersby stop and chat with him.

I’m still not certain what it’s about, however, since I’m always harping on no male full frontal nudity anywhere in films and on TV I thought I’d share the link. I didn’t even know they did things like this on Youtube.

A Christmas Carl

There’s also a live streaming comment thread that’s about as entertaining as it gets on Youtube and from what I did gather this naked guy is a student at an art school and this whole exercise is an experiment of some kind. But don’t quote me on that.

You can check it out here. You also have to remember this isn’t porn and it’s not supposed to be erotic, but I did see male full frontal nudity with my very own eyes. He’s actually a nice looking guy, too.

People seem to be mostly concerned about how and when he goes to the bathroom. 

The Wiz, Racism, and Pretty Man

Evidently, there’s some kind of kerfuffle going on about The Wiz having an all black cast.

The Wiz, of course, is the landmark 1975 Broadway musical that has a killer 1978 film adaptation starring Michael Jackson, Diana Ross, Lena Horne and Richard Pryor, among others.

It was written to feature an all-black cast, and based on The Wizard of OZ.

I hate to sound like a snob here, but the only people who take art of any kind and make it political are usually the uncultured. In other words, even though I despise segregation and racism, I think artistic endeavors like The Wiz are cultural in every aspect of the word culture. And there’s nothing wrong with The Wiz having an all-black cast because of these cultural aspects. I think art falls into a different category altogether. It’s art.

The Wiz is a more modern, cultural version of an old story line…because nothing like that was ever done before with an all-black cast. I can relate to this strongly with respect to gay culture and mainstream stories and films like And Officer and His Gentleman. Gay people like me didn’t have any gay artistic content growing up. NOTHING. And when I parodied And Officer and a Gentleman as An Officer and HIS Gentleman I did not do that by accident. I wanted to give gay readers something they’d never had before that was equivalent to what the mainstream gets.

Of course I took many hits and slams for that, and in some cases I’m still taking them today from those who don’t “get” it. Some reviewers said I plagiarized their favorite films and they didn’t even bother to check out the fact that the content of my gay books are so different from the originals, including dialogue. Seriously. What kind of an idiot would believe I was plagiarizing with titles as obvious as My Fair Laddie and Pretty Man?  I’ve always been up front and honest about what I did and what my intentions were. So no, I don’t think The Wiz is racist because there’s an all-black cast. I think it’s culturally important to the art form as it is being interpreted.  

But what bothers me about this article is this:

Because racism! And reverse-racism!

The author of the article is trying to be clever and it’s huge a fail for me. I don’t believe in “reverse-racism.” It’s either racism or it’s not. No one should get a free pass on racism anymore, not even a minority. But that’s a whole different blog post.

The rest is here. And there are comments of all kinds with this one, so you’ve been warned.

FREE Gay Fiction Excerpt

I haven’t posted a free excerpt for a while, so here’s one from my latest WIP, The Rainbow Detective Agency: Saying Goodbye. It’s from chapter eight, when Blair and Proctor go back to Connecticut for the weekend to check up on Proctor’s mom who is dealing with a terminal cancer diagnosis. Although there is a happy ending with this story, the theme of this book is a little more intense than others. The case that Blair and Proctor are handling deals with legal euthanasia and a client who is also dealing with a terminal diagnosis.

No spoilers, though. I hate when I see that. I should also add that these books in The Rainbow Detective series are always more focused on life and romance than the actual mystery.  There is a mystery, but the point of the entire series is that Proctor and Blair always wind up taking on cases that don’t always make sense. Odd, ridiculous quirky cases sometimes. And they usually wind up taking these cases on because they’re both so trusting. In this book, however, their ethics are questioned.

Here’s the excerpt:

On Friday night, Lloyd Gamble, Proctor’s dad, picked them up at the train station in Connecticut and drove them back to the large, two story white colonial house where Proctor had grown up. They would only be there for two nights and a day and a half, not nearly enough time for Proctor to do all the things he wanted to do. They wouldn’t need a rental car. He figured he would spend the entire weekend in the old house, with his mom, catching up on her cancer treatments, talking to the home healthcare giver she’d hired, and checking over all her medications and blood work results.
There were so many practical things to do Proctor had to make time to focus on all the emotional things, too. If he’d had his way his mom and dad would have moved to LA into his house, or his guest house. She would have had her chemotherapy there instead of in Connecticut, where Proctor could have handled everything himself. Not having any control whatsoever kept him awake many nights, and yet in the same respect he admired his mom’s courage for taking control of her own cancer diagnosis and doing everything the way she wanted to do it. If he’d been in her position he would have insisted on doing the same thing.
As Lloyd pulled out of the train station, Proctor asked, “How is mom?”
“She’s good,” Lloyd said. He never answered this question in detail, only with broad generalizations. “Rebecca’s at the house with her right now and she’s going to wait until we get back to leave. I don’t feel comfortable leaving her alone anymore.” Rebecca was the woman Proctor’s mom had fallen in love with at the time she’d been diagnosed with terminal cancer. It wasn’t a sexual relationship. If it ever had been, Proctor never asked. It was an unusual arrangement because Proctor’s dad, Lloyd, was still married to Lorraine, Proctor’s mom. Rebecca was active in their lives, and Lorraine had no intention of leaving Lloyd for Lorraine. It had taken years for Lorraine to admit she was gay, and months for Lloyd to accept it. However, the cancer diagnosis had put things into perspective for all of them. As unusual as this arrangement was, Lorraine wanted to live her final days in the home she’d shared with Lloyd all those years, and Lloyd wanted that for her as well.
“I’m glad Rebecca’s here all the time,” Proctor said. “She’s an unusual woman.” When he’d first found out his mom was seeing another woman, he’d been devastated…by the shock and the deception. To think his own mother had been a closeted lesbian all those years he’d been worried about being gay freaked him out. But after he learned of the cancer, and then saw how devoted Rebecca was to both his mom and dad, he discovered a new way of thinking. After all, even though his mom and dad’s relationship wasn’t of a sexual nature with Rebecca, his relationship with Blair and Kevin wasn’t all that much different and he hadn’t expected that to happen either. He was in no position to judge anyone, least of all his dying mother.
“It’s good to have someone with all Rebecca’s medical knowledge around, too,” Lloyd said. “I honestly don’t know what I’d do without her.” Rebecca was a nurse practitioner in Manhattan. That’s how his mom met her, in the hospital, right around the same time she’d been diagnosed with cancer.
“You don’t have to explain, dad,” Proctor said. “I understand and I agree.” Rebecca had also become his mom’s personal patient advocate, which meant Lorraine was getting better care than most people with cancer. Knowing the difference between taking a pain pill as opposed to wearing a pain patch made all the difference when it came to his mom’s quality of life. Rebecca knew how to manage these things, and more, flawlessly. In fact, Proctor depended on her opinion more than most of his mom’s doctors.
Blair was in the backseat. He usually remained silent whenever Proctor and Lloyd discussed family matters. He seemed to sense the lull in the conversation. “So how’s the new Escalade, Lloyd?” Lloyd had picked them up in his brand new Cadillac Escalade. They’d all taken a quick trip up to Cape Cod that summer in a car just like it Blair had rented and Lloyd liked it so much he went out and bought one. The car was really a diversion, something that kept Lloyd distracted from the cancer and all the darkness in his life. Even though Lloyd seemed to understand the severity of Lorraine’s cancer diagnosis, Proctor wasn’t always certain he grasped the full magnitude of it. Lloyd never spoke about Lorraine’s death. He spoke about how well she was doing with chemotherapy and how many positive things she accomplished. Proctor wasn’t certain if his dad’s attitude was denial or absolute fear. He didn’t ask.
“Best car I ever had,” Lloyd said. “I can take Lorraine anywhere and if she’s tired she can lie down in the backseat and sleep as if she’s at home.”
Then they talked about the caregiver and how Lloyd and Lorraine were not always thrilled with her. The caregiver didn’t know how to cook well. They claimed she didn’t even know the basics of making a simple ham and cheese sandwich…she served it on a plate without cutting it in half…or a decent pot of chicken soup. Proctor just listened without saying a word. He knew the caregiver and he knew she was doing her best. He also knew Lloyd’s complaints were mostly based on the fact that neither he nor Lorraine wanted to admit they needed a caregiver. They seemed to depend on her and yet at the same time they resented her being in their lives, as if having a caregiver meant they had to admit defeat. Proctor understood this and he listened to the complaints without arguing because he was in constant touch with the caregiver without them knowing it. He talked with her or texted her a few times a week, gathering information about his mom’s condition and his dad’s state of mind. He didn’t feel close enough to Rebecca to ask her for information, he didn’t always trust the information his received from his mom or dad, and the caregiver became his main trusted source of information.
When they pulled into the driveway, Lloyd switched off the engine and said, “I’ll help Blair get your bags. You go right up and see her. She’s been forcing herself to stay awake until you arrived.”
Proctor climbed out of the car without waiting for Blair or his dad and headed up the red brick path to the front door. He clenched his fists and took a deep breath before he entered the house. He hadn’t been there for two weeks and each time he returned his mom looked a little different. He never knew what to expect. The chemo drug she took didn’t make her hair fall out, but sometimes she looked almost normal and other times she appeared wasted and so frail she could barely lift her arms to hug him.
He climbed the main staircase in the center hall slowly, guarding each step he took in case she might be sleeping. He turned right at the top of the stairs and headed down to the end of the long hallway where he saw his mom’s bedroom door halfway open. The house felt quieter than usual. It still smelled of furniture polish and disinfectant. He figured his mom’s regular cleaning service must have been there that day, which allowed him to sigh with relief. He often worried about whether or not she was getting the right basic care, with general cleaning and everyday things, including food and clean linens. As he glanced around the house quickly, nothing seemed to be out of place. However, if she’d been living with him the sheets would have been changed daily, the meals would have been planned weeks in advance, and everything in her life would have sparkled.
When he reached his mom’s bedroom, he stopped in the doorway and poked his head inside. Rebecca was sitting in a wing chair that had been moved up close to Lorraine’s four-post tester bed, reading what sounded like a passage from Dickens.
He knocked gently and Lorraine glanced toward the door.
“Is she awake?” Proctor asked, waving at Rebecca.
“I’m wide awake,” Lorraine said. “I’ve been waiting for you.” Then she sat up and started to climb out of bed.
Proctor entered and crossed to the bed. “Don’t get up. I just wanted to come in to say hello. You need your rest.”
Lorraine ignored him. While Rebecca put on her slippers, Lorraine reached for a rosewood cane leaning against the nightstand and said, “All I do is rest. I want to come downstairs and talk for a while. I’m fine. Really, I’m good. I know what I can do.”
Rebecca looked up at him and smiled. “She’s okay. It’s been a good week so far. No huge complaints. This is good for her.”
This information made Proctor sigh with relief once again. He met his mom near the end of the bed, gave her a big hug, and kissed her cheek. “You look great.” What else could he say? He noticed she’d lost more weight and her mid-length straight blond hair was growing gray at the roots. He’d never seen Lorraine with any other hair color than blonde. She’d always worn it the same way: a straight blunt bob that fell just above her shoulders.
She must have been reading his mind. “Don’t look at my roots. I know they’re embarrassing and you’re going to take me to the salon to get them done tomorrow morning.”
“Are you sure you’re up to it?” Proctor asked. He knew her immune system was weaker because of the chemo and he didn’t want to see her exposed to other germs.
“I’m up to it,” she said. “And don’t start worrying about that. I want to feel like I’m still part of the human race and getting my hair done makes all the difference in the world. I hate to make your dad take me. You know how he is with those things. And Rebecca is at work all day.”
“What about Sharita?” This was the name of his mom’s caregiver.
“Oh, her.  I can’t ask her to do anything out of the ordinary,” Lorraine said. “She’s not the brightest bulb, if you get my drift. Not to be nasty, but she’s an idiot. Doesn’t know her left hand from her right unless she thinks about it for minute. I think there might be something wrong with Clarita.”
Sharita,” Proctor said. His mom and dad often mispronounced Sharita’s name and Proctor couldn’t tell if they did it on purpose or by accident.
“Yeah, whatever,” Lorraine said.
 Proctor and Rebecca exchanged a quick glance. They’d spoken about Sharita and they both agreed Lorraine was too hard on her sometimes. After all, Sharita was a caregiver, not a nurse or a doctor or a maid. Proctor’s mom and dad seemed to hold that against her sometimes.
As Lorraine headed for the hallway, Proctor said, “I’m glad you’re using the cane.” It hadn’t been easy to get her to use it regularly.
“Yeah,” Lorraine said. “It’s good for when I’m in stores and I have to push little kids out of the way.”
Proctor’s eyes grew wider and he glanced at Rebecca again. Rebecca was smiling and shaking her head, as if she’d learned how to recuse herself from conversations like this. Ever since Lorraine’s cancer diagnosis she’d begun to say anything that came to the top of her head. She’d never been that way before. She’s always been so polite and articulate, always worried about what other people might be thinking of her. Now it seemed as if she didn’t care what anyone thought anymore.
They went downstairs and met Lloyd and Blair in the living room. Proctor and Rebecca went into the kitchen to make coffee…Lorraine insisted on coffee, not tea…and spoke for a few moments in private about his mom’s condition. They talked about tumor markers, chemotherapy, and a few of the pain medications Lorraine was taking. Rebecca smiled a lot and pretended everything was much better, but Proctor could see the worried look in her eyes whenever she glanced away from him.
Before they took a tray of coffee into the living room to join Blair, Lloyd, and Lorraine, Proctor stopped in the dining room and asked, “How much time do you think she has?”
Rebecca hesitated, and then said, “No one knows that. At this point it could be weeks, months, or even a year. It all depends on how well she continues to respond to the chemotherapy.”
“How is her pain? You know she’ll never tell me.”
Rebecca shrugged again. “Her cancer spread to the liver, which you already know, and she’s in almost chronic pain at this point. It’s not severe pain and we’re taking her to a pain management doctor who seems to being a good job. She’s not taking pain medications constantly, which is a good thing. She only takes them when she needs them. Overall, she’s actually doing better than most people with the kind of cancer she has.”
The conversation was beginning to sound like a repeat of many conversations Proctor had had with Rebecca, so he took a quick breath and asked the one question that had been bothering him the most. “When will I know? When will I know she’s near the end?” He had trouble processing this part of Lorraine’s illness. He’d never known anyone who had terminal cancer and he kept wondering…imagining…what the final stages would be like.
Rebecca looked him in the eye and said, “It usually begins with jaundice. It’s hard to say, though. All I can say is we’ll know. You just know. The doctor’s will sign off and we’ll have to call hospice in to cover her for the final stages. She wants to do that right here at home.”
Proctor nodded and said, “Thank you for being so honest. I want you to call me the moment that happens, the instant you know she’s in the final stages. I want to be here. If my mom says not to call me, ignore her. I want to be here.”
Rebecca smiled and said, “And you should be here. I’ll make sure you know. You don’t have to worry about that as long as I’m around.”
After that, they hugged and went into the living room and talked for the next two hours. When Proctor helped Lorraine to bed she seemed to have trouble catching her breath. In the morning, Proctor helped Lorraine get dressed and then they both piled into her twenty-five year old gray Mercedes sedan and headed to the hairdresser she’d been going to for the last thirty years. The leathery smell of the old car and the sound of the motor turning over in the garage seemed to bring them both comfort that morning. They exchanged a quick glance and smiled at the same time for no reason in particular.

Getting out of the house and away from caregivers and medical things seemed to be the best medicine in the world for Lorraine, especially with Proctor there by her side. It took her away from everything wrong with her current world and it seemed to bring her back to happier times. He knew she enjoyed him being there by the way she spoke and acted. She didn’t seem to be in pain; she didn’t seem to worry about anything because she knew he was in control. He hadn’t heard this light-hearted tone in her voice on the phone. They both seemed to know even though the caregivers and friends were wonderful, nothing would ever replace the bond and the affection that could come from a close family member, especially a child. When he realized how much she depended on him that morning, and how proud she was to have him there, it gutted him to think she wouldn’t allow him to move back to Connecticut or that she wouldn’t move out to Los Angeles.
Even though Proctor was a celebrity all over the world, he was just plain old Proctor Gamble in this little town where he’d grown up. No one in the beauty shop made a fuss about him. They concentrated on Lorraine and told her how wonderful she looked. He sat in a chair waiting with a magazine that was over a year old, and for a while it almost felt as if everything was perfectly normal again. He’d needed that feeling as much as his mom did that weekend.
They returned home a few minutes before noon and by then Lorraine was so exhausted she went into the small study on the first floor to rest for a while. This seemed to be the pattern. She would get up, function fairly well, and then an hour or two later, she would rest for about two hours. She didn’t seem able to focus on TV or music. Books couldn’t keep her occupied either. The only comfort she found, so she claimed, was when someone read excerpts from Dickens to her right before she went to bed at night.

Chase of a Holy Ghost In Paperback; Gay Teen Blackmailed by Brother; Liz Taylor and Dallas Buyers Club

Chase of a Holy Ghost In Paperback

Here’s another indie book that’s going to be offered now in paperback for those who don’t read e-books. It’s the second book in the Chase of a Lifetime series and even though it’s not the first book it is a stand alone. In every series I do you can pick up each book at any time and you won’t get confused. But the first book will also be released in paperback as well. I’m doing it with all my indie titles now.

Here’s the blurb for Chase of a Holy Ghost:

In Chase of a Holy Ghost, the fourth installment of the erotic m/m romance Chase series, Len and Jim find themselves eager to sell the legal medical marijuana dispensaries they inherited from Carol Greene, but Jim winds up getting caught in the middle of an insane poorly planned farce that includes kidnapping and two crooked cops. And while all this is unfolding, Jim’s mom and dad pay a visit to the ranch with some serious news about his dad’s health. There’s also a surprise visit from Len’s wealthy domineering mother, Doris Branson, and Jim discovers a hidden side to his strict Catholic mother-in-law he never would have suspected if he hadn’t caught her in the act himself. 

As Len and Jim continue to live and love as a happily married gay couple raising a child in a world that still has issues with this, other regular characters like sexy Arturo and kinky Doc return with their own stories. As each event unfolds in Chase of a Holy Ghost and Len and Jim’s love grows even stronger, this time Jim finally understands the full meaning of gratitude, true love, and all that he’s been blessed with in life and at COAL Ranch.

You can find it here on Amazon or CreateSpace

The e-book is also on Amazon. 

I’m still contemplating one more book for this series.

Gay Teen Blackmailed by Brother

Here’s a story about a vulnerable gay teenager who wound up being blackmailed by his brother because he’s gay. Scary.

“My brother found out that I’m gay by looking through my phone and reading texts between me and my boyfriend.

“He confronted me about it and said that I had to break up with my boyfriend and start dating girls or he’ll tell my parents about me and tell my boyfriend’s parents about him.

“He screenshotted my texts and some pictures from my phone and has them saved somewhere.”

Yeah, that’s up there with about as bad as if gets. And it’s more proof that even though gay marriage is legal the fight is still far from over and there are still many gay people who are left vulnerable.

 Here’s the rest.

Liz Taylor and Dallas Buyers Club

A good friend of Liz Taylor’s, Kathy Ireland, is claiming that Taylor allegedly did a few things that may or may not have been legal back in the early days of AIDS. And Ireland is NOT tossing shade. She’s paying a compliment.

In the 2013 film Dallas Buyers Club, Matthew McConaughey won an Oscar for his portrayal of Ron Woodruff, a man with AIDS who smuggled unapproved pharmaceutical drugs into Texas for treating his symptoms. In this true story, Woodruff distributed the drugs to fellow people with AIDS by establishing the ‘Dallas Buyers Club.’

‘She would sell jewelry, there were transfers of money – sometimes in a paper bag,’ Ireland says. ‘She thought she might get caught but she wasn’t afraid. She’d go to jail for it. Elizabeth and fear were not in the same sentence.

‘Something love about Elizabeth is her courage.’

The details are sketchy and it’s hard to make assumptions because Taylor is dead and can’t speak up anymore, but I think the main point here is that Liz Taylor cared and she worked hard for a cause in which she believed. I was very young but I do remember, first hand. When no one else was willing to even mention AIDS Liz Taylor was right up there on the front lines. And she continued until she passed away.

Here’s the rest of the article.

Second Chance: The Complete Series; Slut Shaming Selfie Gays; Channing Tatum and Alex Pettyfer Drama

Second Chance: The Complete Series

It’s been really busy around here since September with new releases and getting indie books into print, and we even managed to find the time to combine all of the Second Chance books in the series into one box set. When I say we I mean that I do all the writing but I do have tech help, editing help, and cover design help. I don’t want to mislead anyone, because I wouldn’t be able to do all that alone. I stick mainly to the writing.

Here’s the blurb from Amazon. 

It’s rare in life that anyone gets an opportunity for a do-over, especially when life doesn’t turn out as we’d planned. The Second Chance series focuses on the fantasy of second chances and getting the opportunity to do things over again…if that’s what someone wants to do. The choice is always there. Whether or not these diverse characters will change the course of their lives and take the second chance remains to be seen. 

In the first novella of the Second Chance series, an older gay man who has lived a closeted life for ninety-two years is presented with choices one last time. Who hasn’t wondered how things might have turned out if only they’d made one or two different choices in their lives? Who hasn’t contemplated what it would be like for the chance to do things all over again a different way, if only that were possible? 

In the second bonus novella from the “Second Chance” series titled, The Littlest Christmas Tree, an unhappy man trapped in a relationship so bad he isn’t even allowed a small Christmas tree is granted a second chance to go back in time and rethink the most pivotal choice he ever made. In doing this, he becomes one of the lucky few who can alter the outcome of his entire life. 

In the third installment of the Second Chance series by Ryan Field, His Only Choice, Lance has to figure out a way to deal with the fact that his partner, Davis, of twenty years will be traveling extensively in Asia and leaving him alone for long stretches at a time. So Lance plunges into making important changes to the small brick and mortar bookshop he owns in New York’s Hudson River Valley to keep it competitive with the rising popularity in e-books. He’s also trying to deal with turning forty years old and it’s not working out well. In order to fill the lonely hours when he’s not working, Lance joins a gym and meets a very young personal trainer named Sergio who makes him feel so young and desirable again he starts lying about his age and telling Sergio he’s only thirty-five years old. 

In the fourth installment of the Second Chance series, The Sweetest Apple, there are no guarantees and Matty could wind up reliving a loveless life and repeating the same mistakes all over again. It could also take a different turn, and this time Matty could alter his course. But will he know enough to take advantage of this before it’s too late?

And here’s the link. There’s even a new cover. I also opted into KU with this one because it’s a box set and you can get it for free if you’re a member.

Slut Shaming Selfie Gays

This article (and video) actually gets more involved than the title might suggest. From the narcissistic selfies we see on Instagram to the absolute porn they put on Twitter, it’s an interesting topic that’s not explored nearly enough. I know one guy in particular (and he’s not all that young) who has literally made a career out of taking provocative selfies and they aren’t just your ordinary selfies either. This dude has photo shop down to a science. When I say career I’m not joking. As I believe it to be true, this non-stop selfie concept from people like this is done because other people allegedly enjoy these photos so much. They post their selfies to make other people happy, at least that’s what they tell themselves. That’s almost a direct quote.

In any event, the article goes much deeper than selfies.  It’s talks about how we view sexuality in general which is a topic I try to get into here every now and then.

Expressing sexuality is so deeply personal, it’s perfectly natural there are going to be a million different ways of doing it, and yes, the line between healthy and unhealthy practices can get blurry. But all we can really do is focus on our own authentic sexuality — throwing others’ under the bus gets us nowhere.

You can check out the rest and see the video here. 

Channing Tatum and Alex Pettyfer Drama

Evidently, Tatum and Pettyfer don’t get along, and, Pettyfer is talking about it openly.

And it didn’t stop there. Apparently, Pettyfer was living with a friend of Tatum’s when he allegedly had an allergic reaction to the apartment and “couldn’t breathe” there.

He moved out, but didn’t remember not paying the last month’s rent due to a death in his family.

“All of a sudden I got a very negative email from Channing — rightfully so — saying, ‘Don’t f*ck my friends. You owe money. Pay the f*cking money. Don’t be a clown.’ And I really took that the wrong way, which I shouldn’t have, and emailed him back and said, ‘I’m in a real negative headspace and can you respect me for a moment and blah, blah, blah.’ And I got hounded through this time of grieving for money.”

In Pettyfer’s defense, he seems to be taking full responsibility for his actions and you don’t see that very often. If  I had to take sides, I would be in Pettyfer’s corner because he was dealing with a death and the family and that trumps everything. Other than the fact that I cannot pronounce this guy’s name to save my life, he seems honest enough.

It also shows that a lot of these personalities we see all the time in Hollywood really don’t live the charmed lives we might imagine they do. 

You can read it in full here. The comments are brutal this time.